A Light in the Darkness
by SweetT129
Summary: The battle with Victoria and the newborns takes a tragic turn and five lives are lost. This is the story of how Bella and the other survivors learn how to live and love again.
1. 1 The Battle

Prologue:

My love for Edward was life-altering, undeniable, and irrevicable. He was my soul mate, my other half. I could not live without him-I had tried that once already, and had no plans on it happening again. But not only him. His famliy, no, our family. The Cullens. They were part of me too. I loved each of them, even Rosalie, who had never really liked me much. I still don't understand why they care for me so much, why they are willing to risk their lives for me, yet they do, and they are. Once again, they are all at risk because of me. I hated this. I could not stand to see any of them fall. If I had to bleed to save them, I would do it. I would die to do it, like the third wife. I had no silver dagger in my hand, but I would find a way...

Chapter 1: The Battle

Sharp fragments of gray stone showered down on my head, scratching my exposed skin. A jagged splike of rock rolled down my arm and I caught it reflexively. My fingers clenched around the long shard as my own survival instincts kicked in; since there was no chance of flight, my body - not caring how ineffectual the gesture was - prepared for a fight.

Adrenaline jolted through my veins. I knew the brace was cutting into my palm. I knew the crack in my knuckle was protesting. I knew it, but I could not feel the pain.

Behind Riley, all I could see was the twisting flame of Victoria's hair and a blur of white. The increasingly frequent metallic snaps and teats, the gasps and shocked hissings, made it clear that the dance was turning deadly for someone.

But _which_ someone?

Rley lurched toward me, his red eyes brillant with fury. He glared at the limp mountain of sand-colored fur between us, and his hands - manngled, broken hands - curled into talons. His mouth opened, widened, his teeth glistening, as he prepared to rip out Seth's throat.

A second kick of adrenaline hit like an electric shock, and everything was suddenly very clear.

Both fights were too close. Seth was about to lose his, and I had no idea if Edward was winning or losing. They needed help. A distraction. Something to give them an edge.

My hand gripped the stone spike so tightly that a support in the brace snapped.

Was I strong enough? Was I brave enough? How hard could I shove the rough stone into my body? Would this buy Seth enough time to get back on his feet? Would he heal fast enough for my sacrifice to do him any good?

I raked the point of the shard up my arm, yanking my thick sweater back to expose the skin, and then pressed the sharp tip to the crease at my elbow. I already had a long scar there from my last birthday. That night, my flowing blood had been enough to catch every vampire's attention, to freeze them all in place for an instant. I prayed it would work that way again. I steeled myself and sucked in a deep breath.

This was the moment that would change everything.

"I love you, Edward," I whispered, knowing he would hear me. Then I pushed down on the shard as hard as I could.

In that same short second, the dance broke violently apart. It happened so quickly that it was over before I could follow the sequence of events.

I heard the roars of two vampires, one too high-pitched to seem normal, the other much lower. I heard growls. And then I heard the velvet voice that I love so much yelling, "Seth-take her and run! I love you Bella! Go!!!"

Suddenly, I was thrown onto Seth's back and we were flying. Trees were passing by much too quickly, and between the pain in my hand, the pain in my arm, and the sheer panic I was feeling, it was all I could do to keep a grip on his fur.

We arrived in the clearing after a few moments, and I was surprised to see that the fighting seemed to be over. I smelled the fires before I saw them - the raging flames were sending up thick, pungent, purple smoke that smelled strongly of incense. I was still shaking with fear, and my eyes roamed the scene, searching for my loved ones. I saw no other wolves, but found around the field the shapes of six of the vampires that I loved as family. I let loose a deep breath, one I was sure I had been holding since the moment the rock pierced my skin, relieved that they were ok. Seth set me down, and within a second, Jacob, back in his human form, appeared at my side.

"Cullens-Edward is in trouble! Seth says he needs help. You've got to get up to the campsite, and fast-the redhead is there, and he's alone!" Jasper and Emmett immediately took off running up the path Seth and I had just come from. Then Jacob looked at me. "You're bleeding!" He yelled.

"Yeah, I may have cut myself with a rock," I mumbled.

"What were you thinking Bella? Only you would make yourself bleed in front of leeches!"

"Third wife, Jacob," I said, as if the answer was obvious. I was annoyed not only at his insult to my loved ones, but also at the idea that I was stupid.

"Oh god, Bella, really? You have major issues! Why don't you ever trust us to take care of ourselves?"

"Jake, I will not allow the ones I love to die when I could..."

My words were cut off by a blood-curling scream.

"NO!!!!!" Alice collapsed on the ground. "Oh God, NO! NO! NO!"

Carlisle ran to Alice's side, trying to calm her enough to get her to speak. This is one of those moments when Jasper's talent would really come in handy.

It seemed like hours were passing, waiting for Alice to stop repeating the word no and dry sobbing before she would tell us what she Saw. The whole time I waited for her to speak, I felt a strong, twisting pain deep in my gut. I think I already knew what she would say, but I was desperately trying to hold out hope.

But hope no longer exists. Hope is gone. Hope is false. Because the next words out of Alice's mouth destroyed hope and everything that is good in this world.

"Edward....he's gone. (sob) Victoria (sob), oh god! Victoria and her friend (sob), they overpowered him. Jasper and Emmett were too late. (sob) He's gone..." And then she collapsed in dry sobs again.

I started shaking uncontrollably. I felt that hole in my chest that had been healed when Edward came back to me rip back open, painfully, more painfully than ever before. As my chest tore open, I wondered at the pain of it. I could only hope that it would kill me, because how could I live in this world if Edward was no longer part of it? The pain seemed to get worse, and suddenly, it was too strong. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't scream, I couldn't see...all was black.

I opened my eyes again, and was surpised to find myself in the baseball clearing still, and in pain still. The pain was physical-my hand, my arm, my chest- and emotional-my heart was broken, shattered, ripped from my chest. I couldn't understand how or why I was alive. Surely no one could live in this much pain. I looked up, and found myself cradled in Esme's arms. She was dry sobbing and attempting to comfort me at the same time. I wondered briefly why she hadn't thrown me into one of the fires and just killed me herself-after all, I just caused her to lost her first son. How could she possibly comfort me in this moment? Yet her eyes looked at me with all the motherly love she had ever shown me in the past. I could see the pain in them as well, and worry. Why was she worried? All was already lost.

I looked to my right and saw Carlisle's frame, shuddering, with his arms around Alice, who was obviously inconsolable. Rosalie was squatting next to them, seemingly unsure of what she should be doing, and looking up towards the path where Emmett and Jasper had run with panic in her eyes. Were they not back yet? Had Victoria gotten to them too?

I felt my heart racing in my chest, my breathing growing nearer and nearer to hyperventilation. I looked up at Esme and whispered the names of her two remaining sons.

"They are coming back soon, dear. They are just fine. They disposed of Victoria and her friend, but they are waiting for... for Edward's... fire to burn out. They want to bring back the... ashes... for us." That was all she could say before the sobs overcame her again.

Despite my relief for the safety of my brothers, her words made Edward's death more real, and brought back the pain a hundred-fold. It was too much, more than any person could possibly bear. I felt the darkness coming over me again, and prayed that this time I would not wake up.

Surprisingly, I opened my eyes again, still in Esme's arms. I looked up at her and said the only thing that I could think of to say in that moment, "Oh Esme, I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I'll never forgive myself for this! I'm so sorry!"

She looked at me with confusion in her eyes. "Dear, you have no reason to be sorry. You have lost your mate today, yet you appologize to me?"

"Because it's all my fault, Esme. Everything is my fault! If it wasn't for me, Edward would be alive, you would all be safe, and together. I brought this to you, I brought death to Edward!"

"Bella, stop this! If it wasn't for you, Edward would still be unhappy. He lived for over a hundred years, and it is a tragedy that he spent so little of that time truly happy. But he was happy with you! You gave him that gift. Before you, he was, quite literally, the walking dead. There was no life, no joy, in him. YOU gave him that! You gave him life, happiness, love. Never apologize for that! What is eternity, Bella, if you have no one to live it with? No one to love? It's nothing. It's hell! His existence may have ended prematurely today, but I guarantee you that, even knowing that this would happen, he would never have regretted knowing you, loving you!"

"I should have let Victoria kill me. Edward shouldn't have given his life for me..." I started, between sobs.

"No, Bella. Ssshhh. Don't say that. Please, dear, don't. If you had died, Edward would have followed you in death as well, you know that."

"I want to follow him too, Esme! I don't want to live without him!"

"Bella, no. You can't. Edward gave his life so that you could live. You musn't belittle his sacrifice. He wanted you to live, Bella, and live you must. You are a part of this family, and we need you now, more than ever before. I know you are in pain, but you have to find the strength to live. For Edward."

I wrapped my arms aound her and sobbed again. I knew she was right, even if I didn't want her to be. Even though all I wanted in the world at this moment was to die and join Edward wherever he was, I knew I had to try to honor him and his wishes. I had no clue how to survive now, but I would try. For Edward.

"I'll try...Mom." I whispered. Even in her grief, I could feel her smiling against me at the title. I was glad that there was at least one thing I could do to make her happy.

I was shiverring quite severely by this point, thanks to the combination of Esme's cold skin, the cold air that surrounded me, and most likely the severe emotional pain. Rosalie, who was standing next to us, gathered some sticks and made a fire near us to try to warm me-no sense in me freezing to death after all this, she said. Jacob had suggested that he could keep me warm, but I had a death-grip on Esme's shirt and couldn't be convinced to leave her lap. I guess there are times when all you need is to be in the arms of your mother, and Esme like one to me.

Suddenly, though, fate dropped another bomb on my life. Jake jumped up and was flying through the air before I even saw or heard a thing... damn human senses. Changing to his wolf form mid-air, a feat which impressed even the other wolves, I saw what he was reacting to- another newborn vampire had just entered the clearing only a few hundred meters from us.

Jake's phase seemed different, wrong, this time, however. Instead of continuing his attack on the newborn, the large russett wolf seemed to freeze in the air, his body contorting with pain and whimpering. The newborn had his advantage now, and used it. And as I sat there in utter terror, I watched as the vampire wrapped his hands around Jacob's neck and twisted. I heard the snap, and then the thud as Jacob fell to the ground. I waited. Warewolves heal quickly, that's what Jacob had told me. So I waited. Waited for him to get up, to move. But nothing happened. And as time remained frozen, I stared at him, at his body, lying on the ground, his head at an awkward angle. Why wasn't he moving?

Esme jumped up, knocking me out of her lap. "Rosalie, take Bella and run! Get to the house, and don't stop until you get there!"

"No Esme! I can help you!" Rosalie cried.

Esme did not turn around. She was crouching before me, blocking the path of the newborn. "Rosalie, GO! I will handle this! No more of my children will fall today!"

Rosalie whimpered, a sound that I never expected to hear from her. "But Mom..."

"No buts, Rosalie! You must go! NOW!"

And with that, Rosalie scooped me up bridal-style and started running. I burried my face in her chest, not sure I could handle the speed without getting sick, and waited for her to stop.

We arrived back at the Cullen's mansion, and the first thing I noticed was the quiet. I looked up at Rosalie, her face still gloriously beautiful despite the pain and fear it so obviously displayed. "Where is everyone else?"

She set me on the couch and then sat next to me, taking my hand in her own. I was a little taken aback, because she had never liked me much, and compassion was not a trait I usually saw in Rosalie. I had never seen Rosalie look so human.

"I don't know, Bella. I don't want to lie to you, and the truth is, I don't know. And I'm scared. Jasper and Emmett never came back from the campsite, but Alice swears they are ok. She and Carlisle ran off while you were passed out because she had a vision of some of the Volturi guard arriving and they wanted to head them off before they came close to you. She swore that they would not have any problems with them, so they should be back soon. Esme will probably be busy disposing of that last newborn, though I still don't understand where it came from..."

"What about the wolves?" I whispered.

"I don't know. Seth ran off the first time you blacked out when he heard Sam howl. Jacob refused to leave your side though, even though we told him we'd protect you. I have no idea where any of the rest of them are."

"So what do we do now?"

"We wait."

Recognizable lines taken from Eclipse, pg 539, 549-550


	2. 2 The Aftermath

**A/N: I do not own anything Twilight related. I am not Stephanie Meyer. This should be quite obvious by the fact that I killed off her hero. **

Chapter 2: The Aftermath

APOV

Grasping my husband's hand in my own, I looked up into his soulful, but now haunted, eyes. He could offer me no reassurance, no peace. Despite his talent, he was incapable of producing such an emotion for me when his own heart was so heavy with loss. He tried to smile at me, but the smile barely curled his lips, much less reached his eyes.

"Come on, darlin, we need to find Sam and the pack. I think we should take Jacob to them too." He stopped to pick up Jacob's body, still in the wolf form in which he died, and carried him as we walked, seeming not even to notice the stench of wet dog. How could he - the whole world around us smelled of death and loss already.

We trudged through the woods at human speed, feeling incapable of moving any faster, weighed down as we were by our broken hearts. I was honestly amazed that we were finding the will to move at all.

The wolves were easy to find, a chorus of sorrowful howls led us to them. We found them all in wolf form, surrounding two lifeless wolves on the ground- one grey, which we knew to be Leah, and the other a dark silver. Jasper walked to the center of the circle and laid Jacob alongside his fallen packmates.

"Sam," he said, in a quiet, calm voice. "I know you are all in great pain right now, I can feel it. I understand, as we have also suffered great loss today. But I have to ask you, please, to phase so that we can talk, if only for a moment. We need to get home to our family, but we cannot leave until we have spoken with you."

The enormous black wolf nodded his head before walking behind a group of trees. He emerged a moment later, wearing a pair of sweatpants, his head bowed, and tears streaming down his face. I felt a strong pang of jealousy that he was able to cry, as I wished in that moment for nothing more than that ability for myself.

"Jasper, Alice," he acknowledged us. "Thank you for bring Jacob back to us. What do you need? It is very hard to remain in human form right now, as the pain is so intense and the pack needs me."

"I know, Sam, and I'm very sorry. I cannot express to you our gratitude for your help today, nor our sympathy for the losses that you suffered. I know we haven't always gotten along in the past, but please know that we do honor their loss."

"Is Bella safe? Are all the newborns and Victoria destroyed?"

"Yes, Bella is safe, and Victoria and her army are all disposed of. There is no more danger to Forks or La Push. Did you burn all of he pieces from those you destroyed?"

"Yes, we did. And I'm sorry about the last newborn, the one who killed Jacob. We must have missed him somehow, he snuck up upon us at the very end. That's how we lost Leah," he whispered this last bit as sobs wracked his large form. He tried to compose himself so that he could speak, and Jasper waited patiently. "The other wolf was Paul-he was bitten by one of the last newborns that we killed. Once they were all destroyed, the pack surrounded his body, but Jacob didn't come. The grief was overwhelming our senses. That's how that last one snuck up on us. That's also what happened to Jacob-when he phased to attack, he felt every bit of our pain, and he lost focus. That's all we saw from him before it went black in his mind."

"I'm very sorry, again, Sam. I know there is nothing we can say, but we truly regret their loss."

"Thank you. You said you also suffered loss on your side?"

Jasper's head bowed further, and I briefly wondered if he could still speak. Suddenly, the pain I was feeling in my heart doubled, and I hit my knees. I knew that I had just felt Jasper's hurt on top of my own, and it was crippling.

"We lost our mother, Esme, and Edward as well. The rest are waiting at our home with Bella." He managed to finish his sentence before collapsing on the forest floor, the combined force of his words and the pain that surrounded him too much to bear.

"I'm very sorry for your loss as well. I can see the pain you are in, and I feel my own, so I must beg you now to let me phase back to be with the pack. Perhaps we can speak at a later time?" Sam was practically begging now. I could see his body beginning to shake, the emotions quickly becoming difficult for him to withstand in human form.

"Yes, you go. We will talk soon." I spoke for Jasper, finding my way to my feet. "Come on, Jasper, let's go home."

Jasper took the hand that I offered him and we ran, our need to be with the family so great that we used vampire speed.

A few minutes later, we stood in front of the front door of the Cullen home. I looked at Jasper, whose face was contorted with obvious distress.

"This is going to be awful, Jasper. I understand if you can't go in."

"No, darlin, I have to be there. The feelings inside are so strong, but I need to be there for my family right now. And I can't leave you to face this on your own. I wish I could help everyone right now, but, honestly, darlin, there's nothing happy or calm inside me to pass on to anyone else. There's just nothing there."

I squeezed his hand, wishing to reassure him. "Let's do this then," I said, pulling him towards the door.

The scene in the living room was heart breaking. Rosalie was holding Bella in her arms on the loveseat, both of their bodies wracked with sobs. Carlisle was lying in fetal position on the couch, his head in Emmett's lap. Never had I seen either of these men so comsumed with grief, and it started my sobs all over again.

It was Rosalie who looked up at our entrance. Her face looked so empty. "How could this happen, Alice? How did we lose so much?"

I ran to her and threw my arms around her and Bella. "My sisters, I wish there was something to say in this moment, but there's not. I don't know how this happened, but we will get through it, together."

Bella looked up at me, her eyes so swollen and bloodshot that I wondered how she could even see. "What happened, Alice? Please, tell me what happened," she whispered.

"Alright. Victoria and her army are all destroyed. There is no more need to fear her. Jasper and Emmett ripped her apart and burned the pieces. They watched until her fire burned out to make sure that nothing remained."

"Yeah," interrupted Emmett. "The bitch is nothing but dust now, and we spit on her ashes before we left. She'll never hurt this family again."

"That's not true, Emmett," whispered Bella, her voice still wavering through her sobs. "The hurt she caused today will be with us forever. She'll never stop hurting us."

I didn't know what to do or say, so I just hugged her tighter. The room was quiet for several minutes - apparantly I wasn't the only one who couldn't think of a response. Bella's words seemed to wash over my body, bathing me in the realization that my mother and my dearest brother were gone forever.

I finally found my voice again. "When Carlisle and I left, it was because I Saw that the Volturi guard was approaching. We didn't want them to see you, as your being human, not to mention bleeding, could have caused more problems, so we went to meet them. We told them that we had already disposed of the army and they felt no need to remain in the area. They are on a plane back to Italy as we speak. I Saw a vision of Esme fighting the newborn on our way back, and we ran to help her. We were too late-the newborn had thrown her off of himself, and she flew into the fire before we arrived. Carlisle killed the newborn in his fury and then Emmett brought him back to the house. Jasper and I checked everywhere, and there were no others left. Then we went to find the wolves."

I paused for a moment to maintain my emotional control. "The wolves lost three from their pack- Paul, Leah, and Jacob. They were in the woods mourning when we left them."

"Alice, what happened to Jacob? Did the newborn have some kind of power? He just froze in the air when he tried to attack him."

"No, Bella," started Jasper. "From what Sam said, it had nothing to do with the newborn. When Jake phased, it tapped him into the pack mind, as you know. The pack had just witnessed Leah's death, and they were crowded around Leah and Paul's bodies in utter agony at their losses. Jake must have felt that pain as soon as he phased, and it was just too much. I felt the pain coming from the pack when we found them, and it was indescribable. It's no wonder Jacob froze the way he did-it nearly paralyzed me as well."

"Oh god...oh god..." Bella's sobbing began again.

"No Bella! Stop it! Please!" Jasper cried. "I can't take that on top of everything else. This isn't your fault!"

"How can you say that, Jasper? ALL of this is MY fault! No one's fault but mine! How many died today in my place? Edward, Esme, Paul, Leah, and Jacob! None of them should have died. I should have just given myself up to Victoria! Surely my loss wouldn't cause nearly as much pain as these FIVE! Esme and Edward quite literally stood in my place to take the death blow! How can any of you even look at me???!!!!"

Bella threw herself on the floor, her face burried in her arms, screaming.

To the surprise of everyone in the room, it was Carlisle who responded. It was the first time I'd seen him move since we entered the house. He got up slowly from the couch and walked over to where Bella lay on the floor. He crouched down next to her and pulled her up by her arms before taking her chin in his hands.

"Look at me, Bella," he said. His voice came out brusquely, lacking it's usual soothing tone. "And listen carefully, because I am only going to say this once. We all suffered great loss today. Loss that we will never cease to feel. You and I both lost our mates. That pain is severe, as you know. In addition, you lost one that you love as a mother, and I lost a son. Everyone in this room lost their mother and brother. All of this is true. But none of this, I repeat, NONE of this, is your fault. This is the fault of Victoria, and of James. They are the evil ones, the sadistic ones, who caused every bit of the pain and loss that was caused on this day, as well as on the day that Laurent attacked you, and that day in Phoenix as well. As I told you before you left for Phoenix that day, you are a part of this family, and I promise you that there is not one of us here who regrets protecting you."

We all murmured our agreement, and then Jasper crouched down before Bella.

"Bella?" He asked. "Do you remember when we were in the hotel room in Phoenix? You were feeling much the same way then as you are now. Do you remember what I told you?"

Bella looked up at him, nodding her head. "You said that I was worth it."

"You are, Bella," Rosalie interjected. Bella looked at her in shock. "I know you think I hate you, but I don't. You are my family, and that's why I stood in that clearing today to fight for your life. Yes, it kills me that we lost Edward and Esme, but you know that Edward loved you enough to give his life to save yours, and you heard Esme as clearly as I did. They loved you. They wanted you to live. They protected you out of love."

"We all love you, little sis," agreed Emmett.

At this point, as corny as it may have been, we all converged on Bella and shared what could only be called a group hug. We stayed that way for an immesurable amount of time, comforting each other the only way we knew how.

**A/N: It's sad, and it will be still for awhile. I don't really like the stories where people cheat or where they just get over things right away. I wanted this to be realistic (or as realistic as a vampire story can be, lol). Let me know what you think, please!**


	3. 3 Letters

**A/N: Not S. Meyer, but I spend way more time than is healthy living in her universe. =)**

Chapter 3: Letters

CPOV

My family, what was left of it, had been huddled together on the floor for hours. Bella had fallen asleep leaning against my chest, and no one else seemed to feel any urge to move. I think we all found comfort in being so close.

Despite whatever comfort was there, I could not ignore the deep hollowness in my chest. My heart had not beat in over three hundred and sixty years, yet this was the first time in nearly a hundred years that I felt its absence. Edward had been my first true companion in this life, my first friend, my first son. I ached for his loss. And Esme, my Esme... I knew my heart would never return, for she had surely taken it with her. My world was shrouded in darkness now. The only reason I didn't follow her into the fire was Alice's voice.

_"Carlisle! You can't! You can't leave us! We just lost our mother, and you ask us to lose our father now as well? Our guide? Our leader? We need you! Please, Carlisle! Please don't abandon us! Esme wouldn't want you to leave us alone!"_

She had broken down, sobbing, and I knew she was right. No matter how much I wanted to follow Esme, I knew that Esme would not have wanted that. She loved our children so much, she would never forgive me if I didn't stay and protect them, help them to get through this, and guide them as I always had. Nor could I forgive myself for causing them further pain. They _did_ need me, now more than ever. I would find the strength in Esme's love to go on, for them, and for her. So I turned my back on the fire and allowed Emmett to lead me home.

Bella began to stir in my lap, and it seemed to bring us all out of our silent contemplation. She looked up at me, the look on her face one of heartbreak and hopelessness. I knew she was looking to me for help. I needed to give her, and all of them, _something_, and suddenly I knew what that was.

"Bella, dear, go take your human moments, and then come back to this room. There is something important we must do."

My children all looked at me expectantly, curiously, with the exception of Alice, who obviously knew what was coming. The look she gave me was one of approval. That helped. It was good to know that I was going to help my family, that's what Esme would want me to do.

While Bella was in the restroom, I went to my study and retrieved several envelopes from my desk drawer, and then returned to the living room. Once everyone had settled into a seat, I sat in one of the armchairs near the fireplace and looked at them.

"You all remember that I asked you to write something the night before we went to the clearing to meet Victoria. We wrote these so that, in the case that we would not return home, we could say what needed to be said. I had so hoped that we would return from the battle and destroy each of these letters. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Surely this will not be easy, but I think that we should read the letters that Esme and Edward left for us."

"Go ahead, Dad," Alice said. "You read them to us."

I took a deep breath, a human habit, I know, but I needed to find balance in myself in order to open the envelope. Then I felt a wave of serenity wash over me. I nodded my thanks to Jasper. I could do this.

"The first one is from Esme. It says:

_My dearest family,_

_If you are reading this now, well, we all know what that means. I'm sorry I didn't come home to you. I can only hope that, in my not returning, it means I was able to protect at least one of you from the same fate. None of you, well, except you, Carlisle, have had the opportunity to be a parent. I can tell you that it is the most wonderful, fulfilling thing in the world. The only love that is as great as the one a mother feels for her child is that between mates. Certainly its a very different kind of love, but its intensity is equaled. I pray that Jasper is there now and can verify for you how deep he felt my love towards you, my children. If you were to ask any mother on earth, she would tell you that she would gladly die to save her children. This is the truth. So I pray that, if I am no longer on this earth, that my children were saved by my sacrifice._

_I have loved you all dearly, as my own, since you entered my life. I lost a child in my human life, but the six of you (yes, Bella, I said six because I include you in the number) have more than filled the void for me. You have made me a mother. You have made me proud. Please, continue to live with the values that I taught you even after I am not there to remind you. _

_Now, I have a personal note for each of you._

_Jasper, my newest son. I am so deeply proud of you. I know you often feel like you are weak because you are the newest to our lifestyle, and the only one who spent an extensive time feeding in another way. But please, son, believe me when I tell you that I admire your strength. Sure, you struggle sometimes, but that's the point, Jasper. You struggle. You chose to leave the old ways and become better. No one forced you. You chose this life, and not for Alice. You were searching for the way when she found you. Your strength in walking away from all that you knew is no different than Carlisle's at the time of his "birth". So please, feel pride in yourself, Jasper, because you have made your mother proud. I love you, son._

_Alice, you have brought so much to this family, and not only through your guidance with the future. You bring joy to the house with your unending enthusiasm and happiness. You have been a wonderful daughter, and I love you dearly. Please, continue to guide the family as you always have, and use your spirit to help bring them out of the darkness. Oh, and Alice? Please don't torture Bella too much...she really doesn't like shopping as much as she pretends for you._

_Rosalie, I always felt like you and I understood each other in a way no one else could. We've been together so long, and I will miss you dearly. I know that you want to show your strength all the time, and I understand why. What you went through would make any woman want to project strength over weakness. But Rosalie, try to understand that the ability to love is a strength, and those who cannot are the weak ones. So let yourself feel, my darling girl, and don't be afraid to rely on your brothers and sisters and your father for comfort. I know how much you've always wanted to be human again, so I will let you in on a secret now: You may not grow and change, your heart may not beat, but you can love, and that is what makes you human. So love, my dear. Love everyone who is left with you, and let them love you in return._

_Emmett, I know this day must be hard for you. You have always been the happy, joking son, the class clown, if you will. You are the one who relieves us when times are difficult. I know it must be hard to find any humor or joy in this day, but please, my son, don't lose your smile. For when you smile, you infect all of us with happiness in a way that equals Jasper's gift. I will count on you to help the family through these trying times. Your strength is not only physical, my son. Your strength comes from within-you love with your whole heart, you always have. Be strong, son, and you and our family will get through this._

_Bella, my newest child. My human daughter. I have loved you since the day I met you. You are the missing piece in this family. Never doubt your importance to the Cullen clan. Without you, we are not whole. We learned that the hard way last year, and I hope that this family will never know life without you again. You are so special, so kind and so beautiful. I love you so much. Thank you, dear Bella, for saving Edward. Carlisle may have saved him from death, but you are truly the one who gave him life. I never saw him feel real joy until he met you, and for that I will forever be greatful to you. You taught him to live, and to love. You showed us all such amazing love when you accepted us, and I hope that you know and understand how much we truly love you. You are a Cullen, Isabella, forever._

_Edward, you were my first son. You, along with Carlisle, gave me a reason to embrace life again. You have always been a gentleman, and you have always made me proud. Your music brings me so much joy. But the most joy I've ever had from you is seeing you as happy as you have been since you found Bella. Don't forget son, to treat her well and make her your equal. You must be partners in this life. You are brave and good, Edward, and as far from a monster as I could imagine one being. Live your life in happiness and love, my son. _

_Carlisle, I don't know where to begin. I hate that I have left you behind. You saved me in every way that a person can be saved. You saved me from death, from a horrible life, you showed me what love can truly be, and you gave me a family. I have never loved anyone as much as I loved you, my darling. You are the best man in the world, and the best thing that ever happened to me was meeting you. It's amazing, we were married longer than most humans live, yet I feel like it wasn't long enough. Even eternity would not have even been long enough to spend with you. But know, my love for you was more than enough to last that long. Please, my darling, find a way to be happy in this life without me. If I am gone, know that I left knowing your love for me, and feeling full in it. I pray that you will be happy, even if I am gone. I want that for you. Continue to be the wonderful father and the amazing man that you always have been. There is no one on this earth, man or vampire, who could ever compare to you. I love you._

_Now, it's time for me to end this. Please, all of you, stick together, love each other, and make me proud. It has been the greatest honor to be a part of this family. I love you all so much._

_Love, _

_Esme Anne Cullen_

I don't know how I found my way through reading that. Each word seemed to tear one more piece of me away from the whole. Esme's love for this family was so profound, so deep, I know we will continue to feel it for all eternity, even without her here. Her words, despite the heartbreak I feel in reading them, give me peace and strength. I can do this, for her, and I will.

I looked up to my family, each of them sobbing and smiling at the same time. This is Esme's effect on us. I am sure she had the purest heart of anyone ever to walk this earth, and she shared that with us. We are blessed to have been her family.

"Are you ready for Edward's letter?" I asked gently. I was met by nods, as none were in any condition to speak. "Ok, here it is."

_Hello all, _

_I'm sorry you are reading this, because if you are it's because I am not here. I have long questioned Carlisle's belief in God, but I pray to God now, hoping for a miracle, that Bella is reading this letter. I know that if I am gone, it is because the attack came to her somehow, so I pray that I was able to save her. This world would truly be a worse place without Isabella Marie Swan. Bella, if you are there, know how much I love you. I would gladly give my life for you, because your soul and your heart are too pure to leave the world already. Please, my love, if you are still there, please live. Do not despair my loss forever, but live. Find love again, for I would be happy knowing you are happy. That is the most important thing in this world to me-your happiness. I'm sorry that I am not there with you anymore. I so wanted to be your husband and spend all of eternity with you. I know you often doubted that I wanted that, but the truth is, I wished for it since the first day I took you to the meadow. I just had a hard time justifying it. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. I used to resent Carlisle changing me, but loving you showed me the truth-I had to live this long so that I could find you. You made me complete. You saved me and made me whole. You taught me to love, and I have never in my hundred years known joy like I have in the last year with you. You are beautiful, kind, honest, and pure. I love you so much. Please, love, find happiness in this life, and know that no matter where you are and what you do, I love you. Everything that is mine is yours now, except what is otherwise mentioned in this note._

_Carlisle and Esme, you were the best parents anyone could ever ask for. I know I wasn't the best son, but I did love you immensely. I hope that, even in some small way, I made you proud. I know that I am proud to have been a Cullen. You have showed all of us "kids" how to love and how to be people who are worth loving. Thank you for your shining example. _

_Rosalie, you and I have fought almost since we have met. You have been a good sister to me, despite that. Please, dear sister, help Bella through this. You understand loss, and she will need you. Because I know you will appreciate it more than anyone else, take my Aston. It's yours now, sis, treat it well. _

_Emmett, take care of everyone for me. You are a wonderful brother, even if your humor is lewd most of the time. I know you'll look after Bella for me, thank you in advance for that. I will miss you, brother._

_Jasper, you've been a wonderful brother and a strong leader now when we needed your guidance. I know I've told you before, but I do forgive you for what happened last year, and I hope that you've forgiven yourself. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for, and I hope that you will finally start to believe in yourself._

_Alice, my little freak, you and I have been so close ever since you appeared on our doorstep and threw all of my belongings into the garage. I cannot thank you enough for convincing me to bring Bella into my life. I know you've been wanting to hear this for awhile, so enjoy it: You were right. I guess I should have known not to bet against you... Take care of her, Alice. You're her best friend and she loves you. Stay with her, and don't let her give up. I will miss you, sis._

_All of you, I know this day is sad. I can only hope that you are all there reading this, and that Victoria is finally gone and you are all safe. Please don't forget how much I love you, and how much you have meant to me. Take care of each other, and please take care of my Bella._

_Sincerely, _

_Edward_

I finished reading, and there was just nothing left in me. Poor Jasper was curled up in a ball on the floor, the pain he was feeling compounded by everyone else's was obviously more than he could bear.

"Emmett, please carry Jasper out to the woods, and take Alice with you. He needs to get out of here for a bit. Jasper, you come back when you are ready, son. We'll be here." Once they had walked outside, I turned to Bella. "Bella, everything you heard in those letters was true. You are a Cullen, no matter what. We love you, and we want you to stay."

She looked up at me, her eyes brimming with tears. "How, Carlisle? How can you want me to stay here?"

I took her face between my hands and looked her directly in the eyes. "Because Bella, I can't make it if you don't. I need you now. You are the only one who can understand the pain I am in, and I yours. We all need each other. This family will fall apart if we separate now. Please, Bella, say you'll stay with us. It's what Edward and Esme wanted."

She nodded her head, sobbing, and pulled me into a hug. I held her until she her breathing became regular, and then carried her up and lay her in Edward's bed so that she could get some sleep. Then I walked down to my and Esme's room, laid on the bed, and immersed myself in memories of my wife.

**A/N: I liked the idea of the family writing letters before the battle for just in case reasons, to say all those things which shouldn't be left unsaid. And I really thought that all of them, but especially Carlisle and Bella, needed to hear that their loved ones wanted them to continue living and be happy, otherwise they'd end up killing themselves or becoming as lost as Irina in Breaking Dawn, or even Victoria herself. Hope you are enjoying so far.**


	4. 4 Family Meeting

**A/N: Twilight and it's copyrights are owned by S. Meyer. **

**This chapter is mostly business for the Cullens-they have a lot to deal with, just like a normal family who experiences death. This is them trying to find their way to the future.**

Chapter 4: Family Meeting

CPOV

I stayed in my bed all night, holding onto Esme's pillow and trying to bury myself in her scent and surround myself with her essence. I recounted hundreds of memories with her, each happier than the next, as if the memories could somehow serve as a talisman against the grief.

The house was silent-a rarity for sure at the Cullen's-with the exception of Bella's heartbeat, which counted the time until morning. I found some small comfort in the sound, knowing that Edward and my Esme had not died in vain. As long as Bella remained, their sacrifice would be honored.

She had to understand how much she means to this family-there must be a way to make her understand. I turned to my side and looked at the portrait of Esme on the wall, searching for her guidance...she always did know the right thing to do. And then I saw it, hanging around Esme's neck in the portrait - the necklace which had graced her neck since the day she awoke as a vampire. That necklace bears the Cullen crest-the sign that one is a true member of this family. Perfect.

Now that I have awakened from my trance, I notice that morning light is showing through my bedroom curtains. I look to my side and see that it is already 8:00. Rather surprised by the time, as I am very rarely in my bed at this hour, I decide to get up. I dress quickly and go down to the kitchen, writing a note for my family that I want to have a family meeting at noon. Alice will see and she and Jasper will come home. Knowing there is nothing more I can do, I walk to my Mercedes and drive to Port Angeles to the local jeweler.

At 11:45, feeling accomplished, I enter the front door of my home. Since I still had a few minutes before the meeting, I walked back to my room and sit in front of Esme's portrait. I study it, awed as always by her beauty, and I feel the hollowness in my chest return.

"Oh Esme, how can I go on without you, darling? You have been my everything for so long, I barely know how to get through a day without seeing your beautiful face. I regret so much all the time I spent away from you, it all seems wasted now. I know why you did what you did, and I admire you for your love of our children. But darling, I miss you... I miss you so much. I can feel the empty space in my chest where my heart used to lie...you took it with you, Esme. I just don't know how to exist without you. Help me, darling, help me to understand. Help me to be strong. I know our family needs me now, but I struggle to find the strength that they need from me..."

The sobs began to wrack my body just as I noticed a warm feeling on my shoulder. I looked up to find Bella standing over me, her eyes still as red and swollen as they were last night, deep circles underneath them telling me that she didn't sleep much, if at all. Her eyes showed so much sadness, yet she smiled down at me. In all her pain, she was trying to give me comfort?

"Bella?"

"Carlisle," she answered, her voice wavering. "You don't have to be strong for us. You have every right to feel grief, and to lean on us right now. We don't expect you to be our leader right now, we know you are in as much, if not more, pain than each of us are in. We love you, Carlisle. Let us be there with you. Let me, please. I need you to help me get through this, not by being strong, but by understanding the pain I feel as only you can. Please, Carlisle, don't pull away from us when we need to hold you closer."

I stared at her in utter astonishment. I thought for sure I had to be the strength, and now she's telling me the opposite.

"Carlisle, if you're ready, everyone is downstairs waiting. Just remember what I said, ok?"

And with that she took my hand in hers, giving it a light squeeze, and pulled me towards the door.

In the dining room, I took my seat at the head of the table, Emmett and Rosalie to my right, Alice and Jasper to my left, with a seat between them for Bella. I looked at each of my children, the grief showing in their eyes and postures. Never had I seen Emmett so stoic. It was so hard to see them like this. I bowed my head and sqeezed my wedding band between my fingers, silently asking Esme to give me the strength I needed to have this conversation with our children. I took a deep breath, and began speaking.

"I called you here today because as much as I would truly like to lay in my bed all day and night and grieve, there are many urgent matters that we must attend to. Unfortunately, not matters that anyone wishes to discuss, but they are extremely important. The first on the list is the worst, I think. Edward and Esme are dead, as we know, but not by any means which we can admit. Still, we must explain to the public what has happened to them, especially as Bella and Edward were engaged to be married. We have no bodies, and we can't exactly tell Chief Swan that we cremated our loved ones in the backyard. So does anyone have a suggestion?"

"Car accident? We could have the car burn completely so that there would be no bodies found," suggested Jasper.

"Yes, Jasper, that's probably the easiest and most convenient. Can you and Emmett take care of that this evening?"

"Sure, Dad. Well get the volvo ready after the meeting."

"NO!" Yelled Bella. "No, you will not destroy Edward's volvo!"

"Of course not, Bella," I comforted. "They can take Esme's car. She rarely drove it, so it has no sentimental value to me. You boys take care of that after sunset, all right?" I was met by their nods and a sigh of relief from Bella.

"Ok, well, the next topic that we need to discuss would be funeral arrangements. I really do not want to have to put on a show for the town, so I'd like to keep it private, if you don't mind."

"I agree completely, Carlisle," began Jasper. "But I have a suggestion. Edward and Esme died in battle. As did three of the Quiluete pack. It's only right that we pay tribute to their loss with the pack. Perhaps we could contact Sam and have a joint memorial at the baseball clearing? We must honor the fallen soldiers, Carlisle."

"Spoken like a true soldier, Jasper. Of course, you are absolutely right. I think that the Quiluetes would be ammenable to such a service, and I will call Sam when we are finished here and arrange it for tomorrow at twilight."

"Dad?" Whispered Rosalie. "We need to call the Denalis as well. They are family, and should be notified and invited to our private service if they wish to come."

"Are you kidding me!?" Yelled Emmett. "They refused to come help us when we asked for their help! If they had come when we asked, we might not be having a service at all!"

"Emmett, please calm down," I said. "Rosalie is right. The Denalis are family, and despite recent actions, they have had a long relationship with us, and have the right to pay their respects as well. Rosalie, if you could make the call please, when we finish here?"

She nodded, and I chose to ignore Emmett's grumblings. I understood his anger, and felt it myself, but I knew that I had to do the right thing here, whether I liked it or not.

"Dad? Jasper and I found information online this morning, and we arranged to have diamonds created out of Esme and Edward's ashes. Once they arrive, we can each set our own however we want. That way we will always have a piece of them with us, no matter where we go."

"Thank you, Alice. That was a beautiful thing to do," Bella said. "I have an idea about what else we could do with the ashes. I think that we should spread some of them in the meadow. Edward and Esme both told me that Forks was truly home, and I think they'd like it if part of them remained here. And there's no place more beautiful than the meadow."

"Yes, Bella, that's an excellent idea. I think that we should have our service there, in the meadow. We'll do it the day after tomorrow, at twilight. That will give the Denalis time to arrive if they choose to come, and gives us time for the memorial with the Quiluetes as well.

So the next topic we need to discuss is where we go from here. Bella, whatever we choose, I want you to know that it is a family decision, which includes you. I will not force you to go with us, but out of respect to Edward, I will not be leaving you anywhere on your own either. Actually, before we even have this part of the discussion, there's something else I want to address with you, Bella."

Bella looked rather nervous at this point, but nodded her head at me, indicating that I should continue.

"The night after you returned from Italy, we held a vote here at this very table, and it was decided that you would be considered a member of this family. I understand that circumstances have since changed, and if you no longer wish to become a vampire, your decision on the matter will be respected. However, vampire or not, you are still a member of this family. And as such, there are a few things that need to be given to you. First, here is an ATM card. This is your temporary card until the permanent one arrives." I saw her preparing to interrupt, but held my hand up to stop her. "Bella, this isn't our money. It is yours. You heard the letter from Edward-he left everything to you. This card is for Edward's account, which is now yours. So there is no reason to argue." She acquiesced. I handed her a small velvet box. "This is the second item that you need. Please open it."

She gasped as she saw the contents of the box. It was a beautiful silver locket on a simple chain. The locket was imprinted with the Cullen crest.

"It's beautiful, Carlisle, but what is this for?"

"This, Bella, is the Cullen crest. If you look, you'll see that each member of the family wears some piece of jewelry with the crest on it. This is a symbolic gesture. It marks you as a Cullen. You _are_ one of us, Bella, always, just as Esme said in her letter. You will always be part of this family, and this is our way of welcoming you in."

Tears overflowed her eyes and she got up from her seat, nearly falling in the process, before running to me and throwing her arms around me. "Thank you, thank you so much. You don't know what this means to me!"

Surprisingly, it was Rosalie's arms that wrapped around Bella next. "Welcome to the family, little sister." The rest of the children joined her, and Jasper took the opportunity to use his power to spread the feelings of joy around us, blanketing us in the first happiness we had felt in days.

A few moments later, we all sat back down in our seats, Bella still crying lightly, but this time I knew that her tears were at least partly caused by happiness.

"Carlisle?" She began. "I have some other answers for you. About the vampire changing, I still want to do it. But not yet. Edward really wanted me to go to college as a human, and had only agreed to put it off at my insistance. I want to do that for him. I was accepted at Dartmouth, and that's where we had planned to go together. I'd like to do that still, but I'm not sure if I'll be up to it this year. Would it be ok if we took a year off first? Just to adjust? We can go anywhere, but I'd like it if we were all together, wherever we go."

"That sounds fair, Bella. Let's think of some options for where to spend the next year. Rose, what do you think?"

"I was thinking Alaska. We would go to our house in Denali. It's away from civilization enough that no one will question our being there."

I wasn't thrilled by the idea of being near our friends for the next year, as I was still holding on to a bit of anger towards them, however irrational it might be. I also wasn't sure I was up to company, but didn't want to be rude. Luckily, Jasper spoke for me.

"Rose, Denali is great, the only trouble is that if we are there, Tanya and her family will expect us to be sociable, and I'm not sure any of us are up to that." I gave Jasper a grateful look, and saw Bella do the same. "As for my idea, I was thinking maybe Canada? We could go to our place in British Columbia. It's pretty remote, and there's lots of good hunting available."

There were several nods of agreement with this one.

Suddenly, I had a stroke of inspiration. "What about spending the year on Isle Esme?"

Bella looked confused. "Isle Esme?"

"Yes. Isle Esme is an island near Rio de Janiero. It was my anniversary gift to Esme several years ago. It's completely private, we have a house standing on it, and it will give us a chance to be alone and not have to put on appearances for anyone, with the exception of the times that the cleaning crew comes to clean and bring supplies. What do you think?"

"It's perfect!" Alice shouted. Everyone quickly agreed.

And so it was decided. By this time next week, we would be on our own island in the Atlantic.

"Alright, I think that covers everything of importance. Why don't we all take a break to relax for awhile, and please, Rose call the Denalis, I will call Sam."

We all stood up from the table and walked towards our rooms. We needed each other, but at the same time, felt the urge to be alone in our grief. All I wanted to do in this moment was lay on my bed and drown in Esme's scent. So I did.

**A/N: I know the Cullen crest was not in the books, just the movie, but I love the symbolism of it. It's something so small, yet so meaningful that ties them together and reminds them all that they are part of something bigger. That's why I included it.**


	5. 5 In Memorium

**A/N: Twilight is all S. Meyer's, not mine. **

Chapter 5: In Memorium

BPOV

I walked, hand in hand with Alice and Carlisle, into the baseball clearing. We were still calling it that, despite the fact that we would always silently think of it as the battlefield. We were all dressed in black with gold accents, in honor of Edward and Esme's eyes. Alice, of course, had chosen all of our clothes. No one complained. I was wearing a black cotton dress with a gold thread in the stitching under a gold shrug that had a metallic shimmer in the thread. Alice allowed me black ballet flats rather than heels so that I would have less of a cause for falling, although, to be perfectly honest, she and Carlisle had already caught me twice...each. My hair was pulled back with gold combs, and my new locket hung around my neck. My only other jewelry was the engagement ring that Edward had given me the night before he died.

We arrived in the clearing and found the Quiluete pack waiting for us. They all looked as somber and grief-striken as each of us felt. Carlisle let go of my hand and walked forward, meeting Sam in the middle. The two leaders shook hands, for what I was sure was the first time ever. Sam then stepped back in line with the pack and Carlisle began to speak.

"We come here today, not to mourn our dead, but to honor them. We fought a battle against those who did not care for the sanctity of human life, nor for the value of love. We won the battle, but sustained a great loss in the process. Five of our number gave their lives for this cause. Five of our number gave their lives so that others could live. This is the greatest sacrifice which they could make, and we praise them for it. They shall never be forgotten by us. Sam, I believe you'd like to speak for your pack members?"

Sam stepped forward, placing himself next to Carlisle.

"We buried our dead on James Island. This island, which can be seen across from First Beach, is traditionally the place where Quiluete cheifs are burried. Quiluete legend claims this place holds much of our spiritual power, so there was no place better to lay our brothers. They will be remembered and celebrated for their sacrifice. It is not easy to bear the burden of being a Protector for the tribe, but Paul, Leah, and Jacob did their duty with honor, integrity, and valor." He bowed his head and whispered was I could only assume was a prayer in Quiluete before stepping back in line with the pack.

Quil stepped forward. I supposed he was the new beta. "Paul and Jacob were our brothers, and Leah our sister. A part of us died with them on this field, a part that can never be recovered. The pack will never be the same without them, nor will any of us. Though their true honor and sacrifice can never be made known to the world, or even to our tribe, those of us here today will remember it for them. We know what they did, we know how they died. More importantly, we know how they lived. Jacob, Paul, Leah, we will miss you."

Quil walked back to the line and I saw tears falling from each of the Quiluetes. It was strange to see these enormous men show such emotion, but it was beautiful. I know my tears were falling with theirs.

Jasper stepped to the middle next, and I noticed something shining in his hands. "I know that we were not a true army, nor was this a true war. But those who fell in this battle were soldiers for a cause, and so we will honor them as such. There is a large boulder off to the southern edge of this field. I used this knife to carve the date of the battle into the stone, as well as the initials of each of the fallen. There can be no large headstone, nor great monument to those we lost, due to the secret nature of our fight, but with this will remember them and honor them always. Those who were lost were fell for that in which they believed, and we will uphold their sacrifice by living true to it. Sam, we had this knife engraved with the words 'Those who die as heros will never be forgotten', and we want you to keep it."

Jasper stepped towards the pack and shook Sam's hand, and handed him the knife before returning to our side of the circle. Finally, Carlisle stepped back to the center.

"I have one more thing to say before we depart today. It is taken from Ecclesiestes, chapter 3, verses 1-8.

For everything there is a season,

And a time for every matter under heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die;

A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal;

A time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh;

A time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to seek, and a time to lose;

A time to keep, and a time to throw away;

A time to tear, and a time to sew;

A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate,

A time for war, and a time for peace.

For five of us, the time to die has come and gone. For those left, the time to heal is upon us. We have had together fought a war, let us now have our time for peace and embrace. Sam, as alpha of the pack, I speak to you first. You chose to stand with us in this battle, to ally with us against a common enemy. The time has come for us to put amnity aside and embrace each other, maybe not as friends, but as allies. Let us have no more hate between us. We have each lost too much already, and now we have mourned together. Let us leave this place in our seperate directions, with only good will between us, in memory of those we have lost."

Carlisle paused, giving Sam time to think about his words. To what I am sure was the complete shock of everyone present, Sam walked forward and embraced Carlisle.

"Our kinds may be natural enemies, Carlisle, but your family has shown a commitment to all that we stand for. You are better than your species. Go as friends, Cullens, and know that we will always honor your loss as well as our own."

I couldn't stop the tears as I saw vampires and werewolves hugging each other willingly, or the laughter that snuck out when I noticed that most of them had their noses crinkled up at the scent of those they were embracing. It was a beautiful moment.

The next morning, the Denali clan arrived. Admittedly, meeting the Denalis was rather overwhelming. Knowing that Tanya had always wanted Edward made me self conscious, no matter how much Rosalie and Alice assured me that he had never given her the time of day. She was beautiful, and nothing like me at all. Jasper had taken me outside and chastized me for my feelings, reminding me that I was the only one who ever held Edward's heart, and that Edward thought I was beautiful inside and out. I knew what he said was true, so I tried to let go of the jealousy. The rest of the Denalis were nice enough. I loved Carmen and Eleazar, who reminded me of a Spanish version of Esme and Carlisle.

Alice had foreseen a sunny afternoon, thus three o'clock found us in the meadow, we stood in a semi-circle. Today I wore a dark blue dress, Edward's favoite color on me, and my locket and ring. I stood, once again, between Alice and Carlisle. Eleazar was leading the service.

"This family has suffered a great loss. Esme and Edward Cullen were loved deeply by all of us, and especially by their mates, Carlisle and Bella. They are no longer here for us to touch, yet we can still feel them with our hearts, the love that we had for them and they for us still fills us. We feel them in our souls, which they touched so deeply. We may not see them with our eyes, but in our memories, their image is perfect. We can hear their voices and Edward's beautiful music inside our minds. As long as we remember them, they will never truly be lost. I believe that Robert Fulghum said it best: 'I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -- myth is more potent than history -- dreams are more powerful than facts -- hope always triumphs over experience -- laughter is the cure for grief -- love is stronger than death.' It's true, my friends, because their love can never die, nor will the love we have for them. Victoria thought that murder would kill love, but she was wrong, and we knew better. Esme and Edward will live on in our hearts, and will never be forgotten."

Emmett came forward and with his great strength, pressed a piece of bronze into the tree we were gathered around. On it, he had carved the following words: "Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal. Esme Anne Cullen, beloved mother and wife. Edward Anthony Cullen, brother, son, and dearest love. We will never forget you."

Rosalie came forward, her body shaking with silent sobs, and kissed the plaque, followed by Alice, Jasper, and then the Denalis. Finally, they were all standing behind Carlisle and me. Each of us held a small jar which contained some of the ashes of our beloved.

Carlisle spoke for both of us. "Neither distance nor death can separate those who truly love. Your bodies may have left us, but you will always be here in our hearts. Whenever I am sorrowful because I miss you, I'll remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss."

He squeezed my hand, gave me a small smile, and we opened our jars, watching the wind carry the contents and spread them over the grass and wildflowers. At that moment, the sun shone from behind the clouds, and the ashes glittered in the air like tiny diamonds. It was an amazingly beautiful sight. When we could no longer see any dust in the air, we turned our backs on the meadow and walked in silence back to the house.


	6. 6 Saying Goodbyes

**A/N: Still don't own Twilight.**

Chapter 6: Saying Goodbye

BPOV

It had been two days since the "funeral". The Denali clan had already gone back to Alaska, reminding us that we were welcome there any time. Secretly, I was glad to see them leave. I really wasn't in the mood for company, and I couldn't take watching Tanya sob over Edward anymore.

Charlie had been over every day since he had gotten the call that reported Edward and Esme's "accident". He was trying so hard, I could tell, but he really had no idea what to say or do. Really, there wasn't anything. It was too hard to relate to anyone but the Cullens or the pack right now, because no one else knew the truth. I didn't have it in me to pretend. I barely had it in my to breathe at this point. Luckily, Charlie seemed to understand that I needed to be with the Cullens right now, and he didn't complain that I wasn't coming home. I think he may have been relieved-I'm sure he was terrified that he would soon be facing the return of zombie Bella. To be honest, I was afraid of that too. I didn't think I could survive without the Cullens right now, but I feared, even after Carlisle gave me the locket, that I might have to. I wouldn't blame them at all if they asked me to leave. I was just waiting for the moment that they all realized that they wouldn't be grieving for Edward and Esme if I hadn't come into their lives. I knew that was the truth, and that just made it that much harder to get through each day.

I was looking forward to arriving on Isle Esme. As much as part of me wanted to stay here where I felt Edward the most, I had to get out of here before the bad memories killed me. I saw reminders everywhere of the worst moments of my life-my 18th birthday party, the woods where Edward left me, the cliff I jumped from to hear his voice, the baseball clearing... There were so many good things to remember, I just had to get away from those bad ones, and soon.

We spent the next few days preparing to leave. Jasper took care of all the transportation needs, Alice and Rosalie spent nearly every moment shopping for everything they were sure we needed for the trip. Carlisle went to the hospital to give his resignation and tie up loose ends. He had also contacted Dartmouth to inform them that we were delaying our attendance for a year. Luckily the university had agreed for us to forgo our admission until next year with no penalty, although I had a feeling that there was probably a new "Cullen wing" somewhere on campus to thank for that. Emmett was busy preparing the house for our departure. I was busy saying goodbyes.

I saw Angela first. She was the only friend I had from school that I cared to see. I couldn't stand to face any of the others. I knew that Angela was sensitive enough to understand that I didn't want a pity party, and that I didn't really want to talk about the accident. She just pulled me into a hug and told me that she understood, and that she was so sorry for my loss. She reminded me to stay in touch, and I told her that I didn't think we'd have email on the island, but once I got to Dartmouth I'd be sure to contact her. I thanked her for being my friend, and for standing by me even in the worst of times. I really was lucky to have had her in my life.

Next I went to see Billy. I hadn't seen him since before the battle, mostly because I couldn't face him. I knew it was something that I had to do though. I owed it to him, and to Jacob. I arrived at his house, and memories flooded over me. It was only right that the day was extremely overcast, with not even one ray of the sun poking through. Without Jake, there was no sun here. He saved me so many times. I just wished I could say thank you. Instead, I knocked on his father's door.

"Bella? I'm surprised to see you," Billy said.

"Yes, I'm sure you are. I'm sorry I didn't come sooner, Billy. May I come in for a moment?"

He wheeled his chair back to give me the space to enter. I walked into the living room and took a seat.

"Billy, I came to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you lost your son, and that I lost my best friend. Jacob was so good, he didn't deserve this ending. He was so brave, Billy. He was the only one who saw that last vampire come, and he jumped so fast to stop it. To save me. He phased in midair. You would have been so impressed. He really was incredible. In every way, really. Billy, I'm so sorry..." my voice trailed off as the sobs wracked my chest.

"Bella, I'm not going to lie. It kills me that my son is gone. But the one thing you forgot is that Jacob died in the most honorable way he could have. He died to protect someone he loved, and he died doing what he was born to do. Now his body lies burried with the chiefs of our tribe-the highest honor. I am proud to say he was my son."

"I'm proud of him too. I was lucky to have him as a friend."

"You are leaving with the Cullens now?" Billy asked gently.

"Yes, tomorrow. We are spending a year near Brazil. It's just too hard to stay here right now... I know you don't approve, Billy, but..."

"No, Bella. It's ok. I understand. There is no more fight between us and the Cullens. I see that they are different. And I respect your right to make your own choices. But promise me one thing, Bella. Don't abandon your father. He has never been so happy as he has since you came to live with him. You brought the twinkle back in his eyes from the moment you decided to come. That man loves you, Bella, with a love that can't be measured. Whatever you decide to do with your life, promise me you won't ever abandon him."

"I won't, Billy. I promise. I'll always be a part of his life, even if I'm far away."

"Thank you. I know you have to go see him now, so I'll let you go. Thank you for stopping by, Bella."

"I'll never forget Jacob, Billy. He is the reason that I am alive... so many times he saved me. I wish I could have saved him too."

I hugged Billy one last time and walked out the door. I got into my truck and drove over to First Beach. I walked down to the log where we always sat and placed a bouquet of zinnias and a single yellow tulip on it. The florist told me that the zinnias mean 'in memory of a friend' and the tulip means 'there's sunshine in your smile'. It seemed the perfect tribute to my friend. I whispered a last goodbye to Jacob and walked back to my truck to go see my father.

I let myself into Charlie's house, and realized I still had about an hour before he came home. I decided to make dinner for him as sort of a farewell gesture. I didn't have much time, so I went with a simple but favorite dish of his-spaghetti. Once I had that taken care of, I went up to my room to pack the few things that I wanted to take with me to Isle Esme. I didn't have to worry about clothes, as Alice swore I owned nothing appropriate and had taken it upon herself to rectify that situation. I didn't argue, especially after Jasper had whispered the words "retail therapy" to me in explanation. But there were a few belongings I thought I'd like to have with me. I took the CD that Edward had made for my last birthday, a few of my favorite books, including my battered copy of Wuthering Heights, and a framed picture of Edward and I at prom together. I had just put everything into my bag when I heard Charlie walk through the front door and hang up his gun belt.

"Bella? Something smells good. Did you come home?" He called.

"Hi Dad. I thought I'd make you one last dinner before I left for Brazil."

"That was great of you Bells. Thanks. I sure am going to miss you while you're gone."

"I know, Dad. I'll miss you too."

Luckily, Charlie has never been a big talker, nor is he a big fan of expressing his emotions, so we ate the rest of our meal in silence. After I cleaned up the dishes, he walked me to the door and gave me a sad smile, and pulled me in for a hug.

"You take care of yourself, kiddo. This is something no one should have to go through, but you're lucky to have his whole family to help you cope. Don't you forget that I love you, though, cause I do."

"I know, Dad. I love you too. Thank you for understanding."

"Always, Bells. That's what fathers are for."

He gave me one last hug and closed the door behind me.

My last stop was the meadow. I needed to come here alone to say my good-bye to Edward and Esme. I knelt down on the ground in front of the tree with their plaque, not caring that my jeans would get wet and grass stained. I set down the flowers I had brought for them-a bouquet of freesias for Edward, and for Esme day lilies, which the florist told me were the symbol for mothers.

"Edward, Esme, I came to say good-bye. We're leaving in the morning for Isle Esme. It's too hard to stay in Forks right now. We're all going together, though, just like you wanted. I'm so sorry, both of you. I know you gave your lives to save mine, but you should still be here. The world seems so empty without you. You were so brave, and I'm so sorry that I caused the need for that. Esme, you didn't give birth to me, but you've been a true mother to me in the last year and a half. I will miss your mothering and your affection so much. Thank you for loving me, and for making me one of your children. I will love you always. And Edward, oh Edward. I still don't know how I'm going to live without you. When you left after my birthday, I always held out hope that you'd come back to me, but there is no hope of that now. I want so much to leave this earth and join you wherever you are, but I know that would just hurt everyone more, and make your sacrifices meaningless, so I'm trying to hold on for you. I hope that when you died, you knew that you were my choice. There was never any question of that, and I'm sorry if I made you think otherwise. You were my true love. You were the one, Edward, my only one. I will love you for all eternity, I promise."

It was getting hard to speak through my tears, but I felt satisfied that I had said all that needed to be said. I stood up, kissed the plaque, and went back to the Cullen house for the last time.

The next morning, the five Cullens and I drove away from the white house in the woods, whispering one last goodbye to it before we turned away. The goodbye was not just to the house, but to the lives that we had there. Because we all knew that those lives were over now. It would be a long trip, but tomorrow we would start fresh on Isle Esme.

**A/N: Ok, this is the last chapter of pure sadness. Things won't be happy right away, but have hope for the future of the Cullens.**


	7. 7 Isle Esme

**A/N: Big shocker, I'm not Stephenie Meyer...**

**The next few chapters are going to be told in snapshots...you'll just get views of what's happening in the lives of our characters over a period of time. This chapter is the year they spend on Isle Esme. Points of view will change for each snapshot, so watch out for that.**

Chapter 7: Isle Esme

July

BPOV

Two planes, a taxi, and a forty minute boat ride later, we arrived at Isle Esme. It was amazing, as we approached in the boat, how the island seemed to appear from nowhere. I could see palm trees waving in the breeze, and the island, or at least what I could see of it, was covered in white sand. It was gorgeous.

We got off the boat and Carlisle led us down a sand pathway through the trees. It wasn't too long before I could see lights ahead of us, and then the house appeared. It immediately reminded me of the Forks house, complete with the pale color scheme and mostly glass wall facing the water. Carlisle told my sisters and I to explore the house while the boys went back to the boat for the luggage.

As I walked around, so many thoughts came to mind. The first, and perhaps most humerous, was my curiousity as to the prescence of the kitchen-obviously Carlisle built this house, and the island was private. Why on earth did they build a kitchen? But I guess I should be grateful, as I will be needing it for the next year. I continued walking around the house and found two bedrooms, each with an en suite bathroom, and a large, open living room. I was slightly concerned about the shortage of bedrooms. Although I am the only one who needs to sleep, certainly the two remaining couples need a room for, um, couple activities... I assumed we would address when everyone was inside. My favorite things about the house was that it gave me a warm feeling inside, as if Esme was hugging me, because she was everywhere I looked.

Carlisle and my brothers reappeared in the living room, each carrying so much luggage that it seemed ridiculous that they were still standing. Stupid vampire strength...

"What do you girls think of the house?" Carlisle asked.

"It's beautiful. It's very Esme. I love it." I answered. Alice and Rosalie agreed.

"I'm sure you noticed that we only have two bedrooms. That obviously presents somewhat of a challenge."

"No, Dad. Easy solution. Rosie and I can build a little cottage on the side of the house for ourselves. That way there's no danger of knocking down Esme's house." He winked and guffawed loudly. How very Emmett.

"That would be very helpful son. Why don't we build a second cottage on the other side of the house for Alice and Jasper to have a private space as well? I would greatly appreciate it."

"Sure Carlisle, no problem."

"Ok, Carlisle, you can take the white room, it's bigger. And I'll take the blue one." I settled.

"Well then, everyone settle in, unpack, and relax from the trip. We'll get started building tomorrow. Bella, the kitchen is stocked, dear."

"Thank you Carlisle. I think I'm going to go get some sleep. I'm a little tired from traveling. I'll see you all in the morning." I hugged each member of my family and retreated to my room. Really, I wasn't very tired. I had slept a majority of the time on the plane, but I was still having a hard time being around the family. I loved them, very much, it was just difficult to see the couples who were still together... It was also hard to face all of them knowing that I was at least partly to blame for the grief we all shared. It was much easier just to be alone.

September

CPOV

Like most nights, tonight I sat alone on the couch in my room and gazed up at Esme's portrait, which I had brought with me from Forks. I sat entranced by her beauty, all the while knowing that the painting could hardly do her justice. She was such an amazing creature, quite obviously beautiful, but truly her beauty shone from the inside, from her heart. Never have I met someone who loved as much as Esme. I miss her desperately.

Most nights I spoke to her. Even knowing she could not answer me, it still brought comfort to tell her about my troubles and heartache as I had for the last eighty years.

"Esme," I sighed. "What are you doing now? I pray that I have always been right and you are in heaven, for surely there is no creature who deserves to be there as much as you do. Maybe you've been reunited with your human son. I pray that you are also with Edward, taking care of him as you always have. You were such a wonderful mother, my dear, it is obvious just by looking at our children. We were so blessed-not only with our family, but with each other. You were my best friend, my love, my confidant, my everything. It's so difficult, now, to know what to do next. I feel so lost without you. You told me in your letter to find a way to be happy, but I can't imagine being happy without you. All those two hundred plus years I roamed the world before I found you pale in comparison to the time we spent together. Please, my dear, help me to find my way. Help me to be strong for our children, to help them survive this loss. I still feel your love inside of me, and that keeps me going. I pray I never lose that feeling. I love you, Esme, still, and I will love you for eternity."

I kissed her portrait gently and laid back down on my couch, waiting for morning to come.

October

CPOV

Yet another night was passing, just as slowly as the nights that preceeded it. I remember when time passed by so quickly as a vampire, when months seemed like the passing of a day. Now it seems that a year passes in each movement of the hands on the clock. Just like the rest of my family, I spent much of my time alone, mourning the loss of my beloved and my son.

Truly, I wanted to be strong for the others, but it seemed that the idea of being around anyone else was daunting for all of us. The loss that we sustained had taken it's toll on all of us. Emmett's eyes no longer held the light that they used to. No one's did, really, but his seemed the biggest change of all. He had always been rather happy-go-lucky, but there wasn't much reason to be happy anymore, it seemed. I could tell he was trying, but it was nearly impossible to overcome the heavy feeling of sadness that permeated our house. Rosalie had not been rude to anyone since the battle, mostly because she didn't say much at all. It was obvious that the loss, especially Esme's, had cut her deeply. Alice and Jasper spent most of their time in their room, most likely so that Jasper would not have to absorb such strong depression from all of us. I had noticed, however, in the times that I had seen Alice, that she was always dressed in very plain clothes and no makeup, which was very unlike her. Bella very rarely left her bedroom, and would generally retreat to it if anyone entered the living room while she was in it. I could see in her posture, and especially in her eyes, that she was deep in mourning. I'm sure I looked much the same as all of them.

Maybe I should leave my room for awhile, take in some fresh air. Perhaps it will help pass the time if I can see the night turning into day once again.

The decision made, I walked out to the beach. As I approached, I saw a form leaning against a tree, and immediately recognized it as Bella's. I was rather surprised that I hadn't noticed her heartbeat out here, but then again, I had not noticed much these past months. Not wanting to frighten her, I cleared my throat lightly before I got too close to her. I heard her heart quicken slightly, and she turned her head to look in my direction.

"Mind if I join you?" I asked.

"No, Carlisle, you're welcome to sit here."

I could hear the tears in her voice, and knew that she was having a night similar to my own.

"Having a difficult night?"

"Every night, Carlisle. Every night is like this. I haven't been able to sleep properly since... Edward always slept with me, but that comfort is now denied to me, and I just can't find sleep. I can't stop my mind from thinking of him, and if I am able to fall asleep, I have nightmares about what happened that day. There's just no escape."

As she spoke, I noticed the deep circles under her eyes and the paleness of her skin in the moonlight. She could nearly pass for one of us already.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I wish there was something I could do to help." I put my arm around her shoulders and held her close to me, hoping to provide whatever comfort I could. "I understand. I miss Esme every moment. The time seems to pass so slowly without her here. And like you, I try to remember only the happy times, but my mind keeps picturing her in the fire all over again."

"Carlisle?"

"Yes, Bella?"

"I need to tell you the truth about that day. You should know what really happened, and then you can really decide if you hate me or not."

"Bella, I could never hate you."

"You might change your mind after you hear this," she mumbled under her breath, though I could still hear her clearly. "Edward and I were sure we were safe away from the fight up on the mountain. We were wrong. Victoria and her partner, Riley, had caught Edward's scent and traced it to where we were, rightly assuming that I would be with him. So here is the first place where I am to blame. Edward shouldn't even have been up there-he was only there because I was selfish and begged him to stay with me. And then, he tried to convince Riley not to fight, but Riley believed that Victoria loved him, and wouldn't give up. So a start fighted between Riley and Seth, and another between Edward and Victoria. I was terrified, watching them, never sure who was winning in either case. Seth had gotten some good hits in, but then Riley hurt him, badly. I saw Riley preparing to lunge, and knew that Seth and I would both die. At the same time, I could see Victoria and Edward, and they were moving so quickly that I had no idea who was winning, but I was terrified that it was Victoria. A piece of rock had fallen into my hand, and I remembered the Quiluete legend of the third wife-she stabbed herself in front of the cold one who was killing all of her sons so that her blood would distract him. It worked, and her sons, the pack, were able to defeat him. Finally, I knew what I could do-I could be the third wife, and sacrifice myself so that Edward and Seth would live. But it backfired. The scent of my blood, being all too potent, as usual, may have distracted Riley and Victoria, but I think also sent them into a frenzy. They both lunged at me, but Edward threw himself in front of me and took the hit. He screamed at Seth to take me and run, which Seth did. And I guess after we left, Edward was unable to fight off both of them, and they killed him. So you see, it was my fault. If I would have waited, maybe Edward would have beaten her. But I didn't listen to him. Just like in Phoenix, I caused more problems. And Edward died as the result."

It was lucky she was finished, because her sobs prevented her from talking more. I had listened to every word of her story, and was honestly shocked.

"Bella, I am quite surprised to hear your story, but not for the reasons you think. Don't you see how brave you are? For the third time in less than two years, you put yourself in the direct path of bloodthirsty vampires in order to protect another vampire? I doubt there are many people who would make such a choice once, much less three times! Who on earth could be so selfless?

But there is a point you are failing to see, Bella. I truly believe the reading that I gave at our memorial with the pack:

For everything there is a season,

And a time for every matter under heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die;

Edward's time to die was June 15, obviously, otherwise he would still be here with us. I don't disagree with you that the time was much too soon. He waited so long to find you, and it seems unfair that you had so little time together. But nothing you could have done, or not done, on that day would have saved him from Fate. I understand why you feel guilty, but try to see it this way: Had you not cut yourself, who is to say that Riley would not have killed Seth in that moment? Then once again it would have been two vampires against Edward, and you most likely would have been killed as well. And Victoria would have escaped with her life. Would three deaths have been better than one?"

"No, I guess that's a good point."

"Ok, then, Bella. It's time you forgive yourself. I can promise you, no matter where Edward is in this moment, he would not blame you, and I sure he is relieved that he was able to save your life. Your life meant more to him than anything. There are far too many what-if scenarios to consider, not just on that day, but going all the way back to the first evening that we met Victoria. So please, Bella, don't carry this guilt any longer."

"Ok, Carlisle." She looked up at me with gratitude and sadness in her eyes. "Thank you."

"Anytime you need to talk Bella, I am here."

I rubbed my hand up and down her arm as I held her close, and we both sat in silence looking out at the waves. I was surprised to notice how good it felt to be so close to someone. A few moments later, I relized that her heartrate had slowed and her breathing was deep and regular...she had fallen asleep. I held her all night and let her enjoy the solace. For the first time in months, I felt a bit of it myself. Maybe the healing had finally begun.

December

BPOV

I was awakened this morning by two vampires literally diving into my bed.

"Merry Christmas Bella!" Alice and Emmett yelled in unison. "Hurry up and get out of bed and get out here! We've been waiting for hours!"

I looked at my clock and saw that it was just after eight in the morning, and rolled my eyes at them. "Ok, you guys, let me have my human minute, and then I'll be out."

Christmas had been a big family discussion. We weren't sure whether it was right to celebrate this year, when we were grieving. It wasn't until Rosalie reminded us how much Esme loved the holidays that we made our decision-we would celebrate it in her memory, and try to be happy as she would want us to be, even if only for that one day.

After my human moments, I entered the living room. Someone (I suspected Alice and Emmett) had brought in a palm tree from the beach, planted it in a large basket, and then strung it with Christmas lights. Underneath the tree were piles of wrapped gifts. I smiled at the attempt at an island Christmas.

"Merry Christmas everyone!" I called, and then proceeded to hug them all in turn.

"Ok, sit down, sit down! It's present time!!!" Alice called, her voice dripping in excitement and sounding so much like the pre-Victoria Alice that it made me even happier. Jasper, who must have been extremely relieved today, was spreading our joy so that it blanketed the room.

Most of the presents under the tree were from Alice, and were primarily our new summer wardrobes. She had obviously planned for this before we left Forks. Luckily for the rest of us, we had taken a day trip to Rio a few weeks ago and were able to pick up a few gifts there. I got (besides my new wardrobe from Alice) several new books from Jasper, a new ipod from Rosalie and Emmett, already loaded with songs (they must have spent quite awhile at the internet caft in Rio!), and two plane tickets from Carlisle that were from New Hampshire to Jacksonville, so that I could go visit my mom during term break at Dartmouth.

I used to have a problem with gifts, because I grew up without much money and couldn't reciprocate in the way I'd like. Now, however, I had plenty of money to last my whole life, thanks to Edward, so I had been able to give good gifts. Jasper and I obviously thought on the same lines, since I had gotten him several new books as well, for Rosalie I had gotten a beautiful hand-held silver mirror from an antique shop. I had found Emmett some newly released video games, and Alice a very cute pair of Gucci sunglasses to wear on our beach. For Carlisle, I had found an artist to copy a photograph, taken of the whole family the day before the battle, in oils. Everyone seemed very pleased, and I was happy to have gotten it right.

After the gifts, the rest of the day was simple, but we spent it as a family, sitting around the Christmas palm, enjoying each other's company. This day, we all seemed different. For the first time in months, I felt happy. I felt hopeful.

January

BPOV

Now that it was summer on the island, we spent much more time outside. It was so nice for my vampires to be able to go out in the sun and sparkle away with no consequences. Alice had bought several swimsuits for each of us, as well as plenty of sunscreen for me. She picked up all sorts of rafts to float on so that we could just sit and relax in the waves. The first few beach days, I was admittedly self-conscious. But really, what human wouldn't feel that way, sitting on a beach surrounded by five gloriously beautiful vampires, all of whose skin sparkled in the sun? Not to mention Alice's choice in swimwear reflected an obvious attempt by the fabric industry to conserve resources...

The beach days were wonderful, though. We always spent them together, whether relaxing in the waves, playing (or in my case calling) games of beach volleyball-Esme was right, they do cheat!, building ridiculously elaborate sand castles, or my personal favorite, swimming with the dolphins (although I was the only one the dophins would come close to). I think that the real point of these days was not just to have fun, but to help us come together again as a family. We had spent so much of our first few months on the island mourning alone in our rooms, not really spending much time together, but things had really changed since Christmas. I like to think it was Esme and Edward's gift to us.

March

CPOV

The past few months have been easier. I still miss Esme terribly, as I am sure I always will, but the time is no longer dragging by. Everyone has come together much more in the last few months, and we've been remembering how to be a family again. Bella seems to be doing much better as well. Jasper has confided in me that she is no longer feeling guilt and self-hatred, which is a marked improvement. She has been sleeping nights ever since that night on the beach, thanks to presence of one of us sitting in bed with her each night. No one seems to mind doing it, especially since it drastically improved her health and emotional well-being. I think we were all relieved to find something we could do for her.

Today Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper went to the mainland to do a bit of shopping and hunt for some larger game in the rain forest. Emmett was especially excited about the hunting prospects-I overheard him mentioning wrestling an anaconda. The island really doesn't offer much variety in that area. But it does have much to offer in terms of amusement, so I decided to take Bella on a hike to explore some other parts of the island today.

We started by exploring the jungle, and then I took her to visit the parrots that lived in the canopy on the south end of the island. She really enjoyed this part, and taught several of the birds to say phrases such as Emmett, where are you? and Rosalie, there's a spider in your hair! She planned to send Emmett and Rosalie up to visit the parrots when they returned from the mainland, in hopes that the birds would play along with her game. I was delighted to see this playful side of her-she's had so few chances to display it in the last few years, and it was quite endearing.

After leaving the canopy, we went down to the beach, and I gave her some snorkling gear (having no need of it myself) and took her into the ocean to explore a large coral reef. She seemed amazed by its beauty, and when we surfaced again, she couldn't stop talking about it. I could tell she was getting tired, and knew she needed to eat, so I opened my mouth to suggest returning to the house.

Before I could speak, she looked up at me. "Thank you, Carlisle, for today. It was really amazing. I really had fun with you. I've always had this image of you as the quintecential doctor and father. Today was one of the first times I've really seen you let go and just be a young man."

She blushed a little, and I laughed.

"Well, I _am_ three hundred and sixty three, Bella."

"Carlisle," she said with a sigh.

"Ok, ok, I'm twenty-three. And you're right. I don't act my age often. It was nice to do so today. I had fun as well."

She smiled again, and leaned against me. "I bet Edward and Esme would have really loved it here," she whispered.

"Right again, Bella." I answered, before realizing that she had already fallen asleep. I picked her up and carried her back to the house so that she could sleep for the night.

May

APOV

I knew that our time on the island was almost over, since Bella was bound and determined to start Dartmouth in summer term rather than waiting until fall like everyone else, so I called her and Rosalie into my room first thing this morning.

"Ok girls, I sent the boys to the mainland on a hunting trip so that we could have a girls' day. We'll be starting college soon, and, at least in the case of Bella, we'll be too busy to have any fun for awhile... So we have to have fun today. I was thinking we could spend the morning doing some snorkling-Jasper and I found some amazing underwater caves that I think you'd love to see, and then we could come home, get cleaned up, and do makeovers!!"

Bella groaned.

"Hey Bella," said Rosalie, "you have escaped playing Bella Barbie for almost a whole year now. I don't think you are allowed to complain this time. I mean, really, Alice has shown _extraordinary_ amounts of restraint!"

I stuck my tongue out at them and they both laughed.

"Ok, ok. Bella Barbie it is." Bella grumbled.

Hours later, we were back in my room and Bella was in what she referred to as the "chair of torture". We had a great time snorkling. It's really nice to see how Bella and Rosalie are really acting like sisters. I know that Bella had hoped for that kind of relationship all along, and I'm so happy that Rosalie finally thawed out enough for it to happen.

We were curling Bella's hair, which she protested for a good five minutes, saying it was ridiculous, seeing as how we are on a private island and going nowhere, but I won in the end. The three of us had been chatting for awhile when Rosalie started in on a more serious line of questioning.

"So Bella," she began, "Do you think you are ready to re-enter the world?"

"I guess so. But part of me hates to do it, because it seems like, once we go back, we're moving on without them. I'm not sure I'm ready to let go."

"Oh Bella, you don't have to let go," I told her. "They are always going to be with us, part of us. That doesn't change with our location. And it's not so much moving on without them as just going on. We can't stop living, or existing, as the case may be. That's not what they wanted for us, you know that."

"And you have to live, really live, for their sacrifice to be worth it. We all do. It's hard on all of us, believe me, but we _will_ do it. For Esme and Edward." Rose said.

"I know, and I want to go to college. I want to make them proud." She said, sounding convinced, though nervous.

"Is there something you're worried about?" I asked.

"A few things, I suppose. Part of me wonders if I can really handle Dartmouth. Edward thought so, but I'm not so sure. Then there's the worry that the Volturi will show up before I graduate and kill us all because I'm still human. And on the flip side of that, part of me worries that I'll get to be a vampire, and then have to face eternity alone."

"Bella, you'll never be alone. You have all of us." Rose said, hugging Bella tightly.

"I know, but you have Emmett, and Alice has Jasper. I'm like, the new Edward of the group or something."

Rosalie and I both laughed. "Oh, sweetie, you may have loved him, but you could never BE Edward. And you never know, you might meet someone new."

"No, I have no intentions of dating anyone. It's obvious that I am not meant to be with humans. I mean, really, so far the only two men I've ever had feelings for were a vampire and a werewolf! And I lost them both. I'm toxic. It's okay, though. I've already accepted that I won't have a mate. That ship has sailed, so to speak."

I stopped her. "I know that its too early for you to think about this, Bella, but don't cut yourself off from the idea of love. I know that you loved Edward more than anything, but that doesn't mean you won't get another chance."

"I'll be okay. I love all of you, and this is where I want to be...even if it means I have to play Bella Barbie for the rest of my life!"

"We love you too, Bella...even me." Rosalie said, almost shyly. I don't think I've ever heard her speak in that tone before. Bella reached over to hug Rosalie, and of course, because she is Bella, nearly caused herself to be burned by two different curling irons. I just laughed and made it a group hug.

One week later, still hurting, but healing, and much closer as a family, we left Isle Esme and flew back to Forks for one last good-bye before we started our new lives at Dartmouth. And what new lives they would be...

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed their year on Isle Esme. One of the most important points in this chapter is that no one was able to heal or be happy until they came together as a family again... Esme told them in her letter to stay together, and for them that is necessary-the Cullens are much stronger for their family bond, and they had to let go of their individual pain enough to remember that and rely on each other like Esme told them to.**

**Next up, the Cullens re-enter reality.**


	8. 8 Back to Reality

**A/N: I'm not S. Meyer, and I don't own these characters, even if I do dream about them every night.**

Chapter 8: Back to Reality

June

(BPOV)

We arrived in Forks last week. It was a bit of a rough re-entry into reality, I think. Especially when we arrived at the white mansion in the woods. Esme's house. Even though she wasn't physically here anymore, the house seemed to scream her name. And I have to say, entering Edward's room, which was now mine, caused quite the breakdown. Jasper had a very hard time calming me down from that one. It was just too much, seeing everything just how he had left it, like nothing had changed, though I knew that nothing would ever be the same.

The one respite in this week has been that we have been so busy. We leave tomorrow for New Hampshire, to begin our new lives as college students (and Dartmouth-Hitchcock doctor, in the case of Carlisle), and there was much to be done. We had to pack up the house, arrange for transportation of the cars and ourselves, handle the moving company, and I wanted to spend time with Charlie as well.

The time I spent with Charlie went well. As usual, he didn't ask too many questions. I told him about Isle Esme and how beautiful it was, and about the reefs and the dolphins. I made sure to clean the house and make him plenty of food that he could freeze and reheat after I left for Dartmouth. That was one of the few things Charlie had a lot to say about, in fact. He was quite ecstatic that I was going to attend an Ivy League school, certain that it guaranteed him bragging rights in Forks. I begged him not to start bragging until we were sure I wouldn't flunk out.

Last night, before I left, he surprised me by hugging me and telling me he loved me. _"I'm relieved to see you living, Bella. I was worried that we'd lose you again, but you held on. The sparkle is returning to your eyes. You'll do great at Dartmouth, kiddo, I believe in you, and I love you." _

Today there was no work. Today was the day we set aside to remember. One year ago, we lost Edward, Esme, Jacob, Leah, and Paul. This was not an easy day for any of us. Like last year, we met the pack in the clearing to honor our dead, bringing flowers to lay around the stone which serves as their memorial. The pack had worked together to create an extra large version of the Quiluete friendship bracelet and had ringed the stone with it. There were tears and sobs, hugs and handshakes. It was so heartbreaking to stand in that clearing once again, remembering our losses, yet there was hope. Hope in the fact that we stood there together, vampires, warewolves, and even a lone human, no longer enemies, but friends. Hope in the fact that, one year later, we were all still standing, still surviving.

Later in the afternoon, I returned to the meadow. We had all gone together early in the morning, but I wanted a chance to go alone. While it's true that Edward is never far from my thoughts and always in my heart, I felt physically closer to him in the meadow than anywhere else. Amazingly, it was a sunny day in Forks, just like my very first day in the meadow. I went directly to the center of the circular clearing, and laid down on my back in the grass, letting the sun warm my skin, just as we had on that day. With my eyes closed, I imagined that Edward was lying next to me, running his fingers up and down my arm and humming my lullaby in my ear. It was so peaceful and serene.

"Edward," I whispered. "I'm here in the meadow with you, just like always. The sun is shining, and when I close my eyes I can see your glorious skin glittering. You look just like an angel. I've done like you asked. I stayed with your family, and together we're all starting to heal. We still miss you and Esme terribly, but I finally feel like I can get through each day. Sure, some days, like today, are harder. But I can feel you with me all the time, and you give me strength. I'm going to start Dartmouth in two days. I'm going to work really hard and make you proud, Edward. You'll see. I'm trying to be happy, like you wanted, but I miss you so much. I miss your touch, the feeling of your lips on mine. I would give anything just to be held in your arms once more. I love you, so much, Edward. Always."

Silent tears fell from my eyes, but I didn't move to wipe them away. Instead, I lay there in the grass, feeling Edward's essence wrapped around me lovingly, satisfied.

Two days later

Yesterday we arrived in Hanover. Our new home is amazing. Of course, Esme could have made it at least twice as amazing, but Alice and Rosalie had been with her long enough to do quite a good job on their own. Our house is just outside of the town, on fifty acres of land bordering the Conneticut River, and surrounded by forests. The house itself is a converted three-story barn, with five bedrooms, an amazing living room that is open to the second floor ceiling, fireplaces in nearly every room, and a kitchen that a chef would kill for, complete with beamed ceilings. Outside, the house is surrounded by stone walls, and there is a large clearing on one side the house where Rosalie intends to build an extra large garage (6-car plus a work bay). There is a large clearing in the back as well, before the woods begin, and a porch-style swing hangs from one of the trees there. I think that will end up being one of my favorite hangouts.

My room is on the second floor, at the end of the hall, next to Alice and Jasper's room. It is amazing-the walls are painted sky blue, and there is a large window seat on the wall next to my bed, covered in deep blue cushions. The quilt on my bed is that same shade of blue, with a subtle pattern of sky blue circles all over. My bed, desk, dresser, and bookshelves are all made of a beautiful maple wood. Edward's stereo system and many of his CDs (maybe 1/5 of his collection) are sitting on built-in shelves across from my bed, and the top of the dresser is covered in framed family photos. Edward and my prom picture is on the nightstand next to my bed. I have a rather ridiculous walk-in closet, which is fully stocked thanks to Alice, and my bookshelves hold a wonderful collection that Jasper helped me assemble. Basically, it's the perfect room.

I woke up this morning, and took a moment to calm myself. This was my first day at Dartmouth College. I was really nervous about this whole experience. I am a good student, but I had never thought of myself as Ivy League material. Edward, however, had been sure I could do it. I had been sure too, when I thought we would be here together. But now I had to do it on my own. Well, on my own with four brothers and sisters by my side, but still. They wouldn't be going with me yet, though. I had decided to start in summer term instead of fall because I want to finish college as quickly as possible. Even though I've been told many times not to worry about the Volturi, the threat they gave before we left Volterra a year and a half ago has not been forgotten by me.

-Flashback-

_"Then we are free to go now?" Edward asked in an even voice._

_"Yes, yes," Aro said pleasantly. "But please visit again. It's been absolutely enthralling!"_

_"And we will visit you as well," Caius promised, his eyes suddenly half-closed like the heavy-lidded gaze of a lizard. "To be sure that you follow through on you side. Were I you, I would not delay too long. We do not offer second chances." _

-End flashback-

I want to graduate, for Edward, but I fear putting the Cullens once again in danger because of me, so I'll have to do this quickly.

I got ready for my first day of classes with help from Alice (of course) before going downstairs and making myself a bowl of cereal. Emmett looked at my breakfast with curiousity, while Rosalie looked rather disgusted by it.

"Want a bite, Emmett?" I teased.

"Uh, maybe next time."

I laughed. "I'm going to hold you to that, big brother."

Rosalie laughed with me this time. "You better get going, sis, you don't want to be late on your first day! I'll clean that up for you."

I gave her a hug in thanks, picked up my backpack, and with a quick shout of goodbye to the rest of the house, walked out the door and started up the Volvo.

The campus was about a thirty minute drive from our house (unless, of couse, you were a vampire, in which case it was only fifteen!). I arrived and found a parking space, and walked to my first class. This term I was taking Writing and Intro to Literary Theory-not the most exciting term, but it paved the way for all of my classes to come.

Writing was, as I expected, very basic and not too interesting, although the professor seemed like a nice man. I walked out of the building and had half and hour before my next class, so I decided to grab a cup of coffee on my way. That's when everything came crashing down.

About twenty meters from the door of the coffee shop, I froze. The shop door opened, and I could see the back of the woman walking out of it. She had wild, fiery red hair hanging in long waves, and her legs, bare from the knee down, were very pale. I panicked. My heart was racing and I could hardly catch my breath. It was just too much, and I let the blackness overtake me.

APOV

I was sitting in my new closet, arranging the clothes on Jasper's side, when a vision came of Bella, lying on the ground near a coffee shop with her backpack at her feet.

"Jasper!" I cried. "Come on, we have to get to Dartmouth now!"

He knows me well enough that he didn't question the reason, but instead grabbed the keys to my Porche and followed me out the door.

"Call Carlisle-tell him he needs to get to the coffee shop near Silsby Hall right away! It's Bella!"

CPOV

I was on an unnecessary break in the staff lounge when my cell phone rang. I was rather surprised to hear the ring, as I usually recieve pages rather than calls while I am working. I looked down and recognized Jasper's number. Moments later, I was in my Mercedes speeding to the Dartmouth campus. We didn't know the circumstances, but it seemed that Bella had somehow been injured.

I parked in the nearest staff lot, and ran at the fastest human speed that I could to where Alice had Seen Bella fall. I arrived, and saw a crowd standing a few meters from the coffee shop, and correctly assumed they were surrounding Bella.

"Please, give me space, I am a doctor." They moved aside, and I could see Bella lying on the ground. "Oh, Bella! Did anyone see what happened here?"

"I did." A blond girl replied. "She was walking towards the coffee shop. I was sitting on that bench near the door, and I saw her face-she looked terrified. The next thing I knew she was on the ground. I ran to her, but couldn't wake her up. A few minutes later, she opened her eyes and started screaming. I tried to calm her down, but it was like she couldn't hear me. Her breathing was so fast, and then she passed out again. That was about two or three minutes ago."

"Thank you for trying to help her. Did she say anything at all while she was awake?"

"She was screaming 'Not again'. What's wrong with her?"

The whole time I was listening to the girl, I had been checking Bella's vitals. Her pulse was still higher than normal for an unconscious person, but she was otherwise fine.

"I believe she had a panic attack. I can take her from here. Thank you again for your help." I picked up Bella and carried her back to the Mercedes, where Alice and Jasper met me. "Jasper, can you please flood Bella with as much calm as you can muster? I think she had a panic attack, and her heart rate is still rather fast. Alice, do you have any idea what might have caused this?"

"No, Carlisle, I'm sorry. I just saw her fall, but I couldn't see the trigger!"

We waited a few minutes, during which Jasper's calm seemed to work wonders on Bella's system, before she opened her eyes. She looked at me, holding her in my arms, confused, and then her eyes suddenly went wide. Her heart rate and breathing seemed to double in seconds.

"Bella, dear, you must calm down. Tell me what's wrong, please."

"Victoria." She whispered. "She's here."

I held her tightly and tried to reassure her. "Dear, that's impossible. Emmett and Jasper killed her. They tore her apart and burned every piece. They waited and watched until all that was left was ash. There's no way that she's here now, I promise you. You're safe, Bella, I've got you."

She tightened her arms around my neck and cried.

"Sis, Carlisle is right. I was there. I watched her burn. She's never going to hurt you again, Bella. I promise you, I won't let anyone hurt you again." Jasper comforted, his hand on her shoulder, still flooding her with calm.

"Bella?" Alice began. "Tell me what you saw."

She looked up at me, and I nodded in reassurance. "I was going to the coffee shop, and a woman walked out as I was approaching. She had very pale legs, and her hair was just like Victoria's. I panicked. I thought she was here, looking for me."

"Don't be embarrassed, sis. It's understandable. Think about how long you've had someone after you! And Victoria was hard to forget, to say the least. It's ok to be scared. I'll talk with Emmett, we'll work it out so that he or I comes to campus with you everyday. We'll wait outside your classes and walk with you in between. You'll always be safe with us, Bella, I promise."

"You don't have to do that, Jasper."

"I know I don't have to, Bella. But you are my little sister, and I love you. And I WILL make you feel safe, I promise you that. Carlisle, is she ok to go home?"

"Yes, I think she'll be fine now."

"Ok, then, sis, I'll take you back. Alice, can you go to Bella's second class and deal with her professor, darlin?"

"Sure, Jazz," Alice replied, hugging her husband first, and then Bella. "See you guys at home."

Alice walked off, and Jasper started walking Bella to her car. "Take care of her, Jasper," I whispered at vampire speed, so that only he could hear me. He nodded, and I got back into my Mercedes to go finish my shift. I ha a difficult time at the hospital, though, as my mind was preoccupied with worries over Bella. The hurt was more than anyone should have to feel, but I hated that she should be fearful as well.

We all knew that coming back from Isle Esme would be an adjustment. This was our first time living in the real world since we lost Esme and Edward. It was certainly a rough start for Bella, not what we'd hoped for. We'd just have to do our best to help her feel safe and secure in our new home. And she would be safe, because I'd never let her be hurt again.

**A/N: Poor Bella, that was a bad first day of college. I felt kinda bad doing that to her, but it was necessary. Hope you enjoyed.**


	9. 9A Dartmouth, Year 1 Part 1

**A/N: Still don't own it. **

**This chapter is back to the snapshot format. It is a pretty long one, so I divided it in half. Let me know what you think, I hope you enjoy. **

Chapter 9: Dartmouth, Year 1 (Part 1)

September

(BPOV)

Life has settled into a normal routine since I started school. I spend the mornings in class, and then the early afternoons are reserved for "bonding time" with my brothers and sisters. Sometimes I let the girls play Bella Barbie or take me shopping, play video games with the boys, chess or reading with Jasper, or we all sit together to play cards or board games or watch movies. This time together is really special to me, and to my siblings as well. Most nights I simply warm up one of the dinners that Alice and Rosalie helped me prepare over the weekend, and then I spend the evening doing schoolwork. Just before bedtime is another special part of my day. That is the time I spend with Carlisle. He and I often sit on the tree swing outside, or in my window seat if it's raining, and talk. Often times he tells me of his memories (he has so many), of good times spent with Esme and Edward, changes he's seen in the world in his many years. It's fascinating to listen to him. There are days when I am feeling sad, and he will hold me and stroke my hair while I cry, and days where it's the other way around. Sometimes he wants to hear about my day at college or the book I am reading. We've really become friends, and it's a relationship that I hold dear.

I finished summer term a few days ago. Despite the (extremely) rough start, it actually went quite well. I did well in my classes, and thanks to the near constant prescence of my bodyguard brothers, I didn't have any more cause for panic.

For now I am enjoying a break until the end of this month when fall term begins. That's when everyone else will start their classes. I think they are looking forward to being college students rather than returning to high school yet again. Really, that must get old fast. I didn't even like high school that much the first time around. At least in college you can study what you are interested in...well, except the general requirements. I am a little peeved that I have to take Calculus in winter term. I had secretly hoped that majoring in English Literature would save me from ever taking math again, but when have I ever had good luck?

We've all made our schedules for fall term, and since my brothers are still convinced that bodyguard duty is necessary, I have no classes alone. Alice has decided to study English Lit with me, so we have Medieval English Literature together and Rose and I have our freshman seminar together. She and I have gotten much closer in the last year, which makes me really happy. I think it woud make Edward and Esme very happy as well.

I was sitting on the tree swing outside, enjoying the relatively nice weather (really, Hanover isn't much better than Forks when it comes to sunshine, but at least it rains less) while reading _Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, _when Alice came running out.

"Bella!!! Grades are posted!"

"What did I get, Alice?" I asked, knowing that she already knew the answer.

"You got an A in writing, and an A- in your Lit Theory class. Good job sis!"

I was actually pretty proud of myself. Not a bad start to my ivy league education. Maybe Edward was right after all...

"So, Bella, there's something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Ok Alice, what's up?"

"Bells, why are you killing yourself with your schedule? I mean, you started a term early, and I have Seen that you aren't planning on taking any summers off at all. You are going to wear yourself out like this, sister."

"Alice, the truth is, I don't feel like I have a choice. I know none of you agree with me, but there is a clock ticking. Sooner or later, the Volturi are going to come check up on me. I want to graduate before that happens-it's what Edward always wanted for me, and I want to do this for him. And not to mention, I don't want to be OLD when I get changed. If I finish in four years as is the average, I'll be older than Carlisle by then!"

When I was with Edward, I wanted to be changed right away so I didn't get too old for him. Now that I didn't have to rush for that reason, I was satisfied with being about Carlisle's age when I was changed... I wanted to be the right age to still fit in with my family.

"Since when is 24 considered old, Bella? And anyways, Esme was older than Carlisle." Alice pointed out.

"What are you trying to say, Alice?"

"Nothing, Bella, nothing at all..." Alice finished cryptically. "Just don't take on more than you can handle, sis. Remember, going to college isn't just about taking classes-it's also about having fun and getting the experience of being a young adult. Don't miss out on that part because you're in too much of a rush to get it over with, ok?"

"Ok, Alice. I'll try to have some fun."

"That's all I ask!" She said gleefully, before bounding back towards the house.

October

BPOV

It wasn't until the middle of October that I regretted making that agreement with Alice. That was when Emmett came home from class to announce that he had been invited to the Sigma Phi Epsilon fraternity's Halloween Party. Alice, of course, demanded that we attend, despite my many attempts to get out of going. In the end, she told me to stop arguing, that she had Seen all of us at the party (I really think she just made this up), and not to worry, we'd all LOVE our costumes. I rolled my eyes, but didn't bother arguing. Sometimes, Alice is just an unstoppable force.

The night of the party arrived, and Alice called Rosalie and I into her room to get reaady. I walked in, and she showed me my costume. This was the moment I decided that I might hate Alice.

"I am NOT wearing that!" I yelled.

"Bella, you have to! If you don't, the whole concept falls apart!"

"And what, exactly, is the concept here?"

"Silly Bella! We're all going as the cast of the Wizard of Oz!"

"Alice, I've seen that movie several times, and I guarantee you that Dorothy was wearing much more material than you have here!"

"Come on, sis, we just made it sexy! Put it on, you'll be perfect!" Rosalie encouraged.

I agreed, although reluctantly. Two hours (yes, two hours!) later, the boys called us from downstairs, and we made our appearance. I was wearing a TINY blue and white gingham dress with a white baby tee underneath, white thigh-high hose held up by a gingham garter belt, and sparkly red high-heeled mary jane shoes. My hair was in two braids. I looked ridiculous. Rosalie was Glinda the good witch, and was wearing a tiny pink dress that was skin tight on the top (and very low cut), and then had a full skirted bottom that was about four inches long. She had a little pink crown, pink thigh highs, and pink stilleto heels, and she carried a wand. Her hair was waving gracefully down her back as always. Alice was playing the part of the Wicked Witch of the West, and was wearing a very small, short and tight witch costume, complete with a witch hat and a broom, black fishnet hose, and black stilleto heels. Together we looked like Hugh Heffner's version of the Wizard of Oz.

When we reached the top of the stairs, we saw Carlisle, Jasper, and Emmett waiting for us in the living room. Jasper was dressed as the scarecrow, with a plaid shirt, worn open in the front, patched jeans, a silly black hat, with bits of straw showing from the ends of the sleeves and pants and under the hat. Emmett was the tin man, wearing a tight silver vest over a grey long sleeved tee and silver pants, with silver converse and a silver painted funnel on top of his head. They both looked quite sexy, despite the silliness.

When they saw us, Emmett wolf whistled, Jasper gasped, and Carlisle's eyes were wide and he looked like he was struggling to keep a straight face. We made our entrance, with me blushing a very deep shade of red, and the couples gave each other a quick kiss.

"Ok, you kids go have fun at your college party," Carlisle began, playing the part of the serious father while at the same time desperately trying to keep from laughing. "Jasper and Emmett, you better keep an eye on these girls, as I'm sure the fraternity boys will be having a field day when they see them dressed like this."

"Sure, Dad, no problem," said Emmett, laughing loudly.

Jasper gave an odd look to Carlisle, and then he escorted us out the door.

(CPOV)

Oh God! This is not good. I saw the look that Jasper gave me before he walked out-he felt me. It was such a mistake, innocent really. I tried to hard _not_ to feel it, but, alas, I seem to have failed in that pursuit.

When the girls walked down the stairs in their Halloween costumes, I was shocked. That reaction would have been acceptable, after all, my "children" were dressed like, well, harlots. Revealing little dresses combined with garter belts and stiletto heels? Shocked was the correct reaction. But then, oh... Then Bella stepped out from behind Rosalie. That...outfit...combined with the sweet blush on her beautiful face. Well, let's just say that she's not a child anymore. Desire swept over me faster than I could quell it, and believe me, I tried. And damn that infallible vampire memory, I will not be able to get that image out of my mind... nor will Jasper forget my reaction, I'm sure.

But how can I react this way? I have never felt desire for any woman beside Esme. I know my Esme is gone now, but it still feels wrong. And with Bella, no less! My son's mate? What kind of vile creature am I?

I decided that I needed to talk to someone, preferably someone who did not live in this house. So I took advantage of my solitude and rang my friend Eleazar in Denali.

"Carlisle, my dear friend. How are you?"

"Well, Eleazar, and you?"

"I am good, all of us. It's good to see that you are back in the world again, my friend."

"Yes, I suppose it's good to be back too. The year away did all of us a great deal of good, though. I can't say that the sadness is gone, I'm sure it will never be, but we are healing."

"That's wonderful to hear, dear friend."

"Eleazar, I was wondering if you might have time to talk?"

"For you, Carlisle? Of course! What's on your mind?"

I sighed. Where to begin?

"Well, something rather unexpected happened tonight, and I'm not quite sure what to make of it."

"Tell me, I'll try to help you sort it out."

"Well, the children were going to a party at a fraternity tonight. As it's Halloween, they were all dressed in costumes...rather revealing ones at that. Of course, I'm used to this sort of thing with Rosalie, and even Alice sometimes, but not Bella. Bella came down the stairs in this tiny dress, with garters, and blushing..."

"And you felt something, my friend?"

I was ashamed, so my silence answered for me.

"Carlisle, you are a man, are you not?"

"Yes."

"So this is not an unexpected reaction to such a stimulus."

"But Eleazar, I have never felt this before, with the exception of Esme. And in my three hundred plus years, I've had plenty of chances to observe "stimuli"."

"So maybe you are developing feelings for Bella?"

"I can't, friend. I can't do that."

"And why not?"

"Because it would be a betrayal."

"Of whom?"

"Of Esme, of Edward, hell, even of Bella. She sees me as a father figure for God's sake!"

"You would betray neither Esme nor Edward by having feelings for Bella, as long as you treated her well. Esme would not expect, nor want, you to live out eternity alone and miserable, and I believe that you know that. And I'm sure Edward could not think of a better man to care for his mate when he cannot. It would please him to know she was cared for and happy. As for Bella, I think that's a decision that she should make for herself. Keep in mind she is twenty years old now, and you are only twenty-three-it's not dirty as you make is sound."

"Thank you, Eleazar, you've shown me a different perspective. I still feel that it's too soon to think about these things, but at least I feel a little better about tonight. You are a good friend. I'm lucky to have you."

"You're welcome, of course. You have always been a good friend to me as well. I am here whenever you need to talk. Call me soon, dear friend."

I felt a bit better after the call, but not enough to want to deal with this reaction tonight. I went to my study and locked myself in with a new medical journal, hoping that the closed door would be enough to deter Jasper's curiousity, at least for tonight.

December

(APOV)

We are on term break right now, having just finished up out first term (well, second, in Bella's case) at Dartmouth. I am really enjoying it myself, and I think everyone else is as well. It's definately nice to have a break from high school! Bella's fall term was a vast improvement over summer, with no more panic attacks or false sightings. She seems to be coming into her own, now, which is definately a good thing. She's no longer the little girl that we all knew back in Forks-she's aged, of course, but its more the emotional maturity that has come with all her experiences.

I was relaxing with the new French Vogue when Bella came in and sat next to me on my bed.

"Hey Alice," she said. "Catching up on the latest fashions you can force on me?"

"Just trying to stay on trend, Bella dear. Don't want to fall behind in the times," I laughed.

"Alice? I was wondering, what do you see in my future?"

"In what sense, Bella? Tomorrow, next week, next year? What are you looking for?"

"I just wonder, sometimes, if I'll always be alone. I see you and Jasper, and Emmett and Rose, and I'm happy for you guys, really, but... I'm lonely, Alice. I feel jealous sometimes. I was so close to having what you guys have, and Victoria stole it from me. Esme told me that eternity wasn't worth living if you didn't have someone to live it with. I guess I just worry sometimes, and I want to make sure I'm making the right choice in deciding to be changed."

"Let me look, ok?"

She nodded, and I closed my eyes and started scanning the future, looking for Bella. And then there it was:

_Bella and Carlisle, dressed in formal wear, were slow dancing in a ballroom. She was still human, and perhaps a year or two older than now. Excitement is obvious all around them. Suddenly, confetti and balloons fall from the ceiling and people begin to kiss. Carlisle pauses, whispers in Bella's ear, then kisses her gently. He pulls away and Bella looks upset._

I wasn't sure what that meant, so I continued to scan further.

_Bella and Carlisle walked hand and hand down a forest trail. She was still human, and both were smiling. The love shone from both of their eyes as they gazed at each other. _

I tried once more, further into the future.

_Bella laid on a bed, unmoving. Carlisle sat on one side of her, I on the other, with Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie at the foot of the bed. We all appeared nervous. Suddenly, Bella sat up, and looked directly at Carlisle with crimson irises. She spoke to him, and then threw her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately._

"Bella? I think everything will work out just fine."

"What does that mean, Alice? What's going to happen to me?"

"I'm not going to give it away, Bella. Things will happen as they are meant to, and I don't want to say anything that will change the future. Just know that your future is a happy one. Now, go on, get out of here. Don't you have some Marlowe or Shakespeare to read?"

She looked at me as though she were not truly satisfied with my answer, but resigned to the fact that I would offer no further information.

"Ok, ok. Thanks a lot, Alice. I love you, little sister."

I growled as she walked out of the room. Ever since her birthday, she has thought it quite funny to point out that I am now the youngest. Oh well-the baby gets spoiled, right?

BPOV

I left Alice's room feeling quite frustrated. I had really hoped that she would give me some real information. Ever since Edward died, I had worried that becoming a vampire meant I would be alone forever. As much as I loved my family, Esme had told me that eternity wasn't worth it without someone to love, and I really wasn't sure I was willing to face that.

Then things changed last month. I'm still not sure I understand it myself, actually. I thought of it often, though.

_I was sitting with Carlisle, on my window seat, a few days after Halloween, just chatting like every other night. He was telling me a story about learning to drive when he bought one of the very first Model T's in 1908. We had been laughing together over this memory for nearly ten minutes. It was nice to see that he wasn't always perfect at everything._

_"Truly, Bella, the worst part of the car was it's speed. I could hardly see the purpose of owning this vehicle when I could quite easily run at twice it's maximum speed." _

_I laughed, and asked him why he bothered buying it then._

_"I suppose it was the novelty. It was something new, something that had never been before, and I wanted to be a part of it. It made me feel human, too, I think, to drive around town like a man rather than running through the woods like a beast." _

_His eyes seemed unfocused, and I could tell he was lost in his memories. He looked so handsome like this, so youthful and unburdened. _

_"Was there any car of yours that was a favorite?" I asked._

_"Well, I do believe that the early 1970s, despite being a horrid time for clothing, was an excellent time for cars. Edward, Emmett, Jasper and I each purchased what were known as 'muscle cars.' At the time, I had a 1969 Shelby, and that was probably the best car I've ever owned. The boys and I would often take the cars out late at night and have drag races on the empty roads." _

_I tried to picture Carlisle drag racing, and could only laugh. He feigned outrage, but then joined me in laughter. It was then that I yawned. Carlisle noticed, despite my attempts to hide it, and stood up to say goodnight. _

_He hugged me - again, a common occurrence. But this hug was far from common. As his arms wrapped around my shoulders, I felt a current of electricity run through my body, much like the one that I used to feel when Edward touched me. I pulled away from him suddenly, shocked, but said nothing. _

Since that night, I have thought of Carlisle more and more. I have always thought he was handsome-how could you not? Movie stars pale in comparison to this man. But not only his looks are attractive. He is an amazing man-kind, funny, generous, honest, compassionate, gentle... The list could go on and on.

It feels wrong to have these feelings, especially since he thinks of me as a daughter. I've done my best to hide how I feel, especially when I know Jasper is nearby. I cannot possibly do anything about it, because if he did not return my feelings, and I expect he does not, it has the potential to destroy the comfortable existence in our home.

That is why I asked Alice about my future. I had hoped that she'd tell me about some man in my future that I could think about instead of Carlisle. A large part of me felt guilty for thinking of any man who wasn't Edward, it was only worse that said man is his pseudo-father. I really need to get my mind off of him. But she gave me nothing. Just that I'll be happy. Later, I suppose, I'll be happy. For now, I am miserable.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Lots of angst, that's for sure. Just keep in mind that they both just lost what they thought were their soul mates, it doesn't just go away... **

**Here's a couple of links if you're interested.**

**Halloween costumes:**

.com/dorothy_

.com/sexy_glinda_costume_good_

.com/sexy_wicked_witch_west_


	10. 9B Dartmouth, Year 1, Part 2

**A/N: Still not mine.**

**Here is the second half of Year 1 at Dartmouth. Enjoy!**

Chapter 9B: Year 1 at Dartmouth, Part 2

January

(CPOV)

The last two weeks dragged by slowly. Bella used the tickets I bought her last Christmas to visit her mother in Florida, leaving right after New Year's and was not returning until tomorrow night. It's strange, how this girl, no, woman, has infiltrated my life so much in such a short time. I hadn't realized until she left just how much I love our nightly conversations. It's the one time of my day where I can just be myself, no matter what that means at the moment. I feel like these conversations have given me a window into her soul, and it's a beautiful one. On my darkest days, the ones where I feel overwhelmed by grief, she is there for me, holding me to her and comforting me as if I was a small child.

_It had been a horrible day - a six car accident brought ten traumas to Dartmouth-Hitchcock while I was on duty. One of those that I treated was a young girl, about sixteen, with caramel-colored hair. Her left femur was shattered, and I had to send her to surgery as soon as she stabilized. All I could think of while I cared for her was the first day I saw Esme, back in Columbus. I was nearly frozen in place as I looked at this young girl, barely able to examine her injuries as I drowned in memories. _

_As soon as I returned home, I went to Bella's room and collapsed on the floor next to the window seat. She was seated at her desk, perhaps checking her email, when I entered, but ran to me immediately. She wrapped her arms around me and rocked back and forth as my body shook with the tears I could not cry. _

_"What is it, Carlisle? Tell me what happened. I'm here, you're safe with me," she whispered._

_I tried to speak, but couldn't yet form the words. She didn't press. She simply held me, letting me find comfort in her warmth. _

_Finally, I found my voice. "I had a patient today, a young girl. She looked so like Esme, even with a similar injury. It brought back so many memories that I could hardly work."_

_"Oh, Carlisle, I'm sorry. That must have been so difficult. It'll be okay now, I'm here with you." _

_She didn't say more. She didn't need to. Slowly, she rubbed circles on my back with one hand, soothing me. I'm not sure how much time passed, maybe hours. All I knew was that I couldn't make it on my own tonight. But I didn't have to, because Bella was here for me. Tonight, she'd be my strength._

Bella and I shared happy days too. So many evenings we had passed laughing about old memories - she was so curious about what the family had experienced before she knew us. Several nights she'd ask me to bring out old pictures so that she could see us, unchanged though we were, through changing times and fashions. On these nights, I would find myself wondering not about the past, but about what the future might hold. I'd imagine us sitting together on a window seat one day, her beautiful mahogany hair swept over one shoulder and golden eyes sparkling up at me, looking back at pictures from our time here at Dartmouth and laughing together. Odd, how much the idea of her and I together in the future made me smile...

(BPOV)

It had been awhile since I'd seen my mom and Phil, so I flew to Jacksonville after New Year's for a two week visit. It was nice to see them again, for sure. I loved seeing how happy Phil made my mother, although when I saw him giving her sweet little kisses or holding her hand, it honestly made me feel slightly jealous. I missed sharing those things with someone who loved me.

My mom, being perceptive as always, sat me down one afternoon during the second week of my visit.

_"Bella, sweetie, how are you holding up?"_

_"I'm fine mom."_

_"Fine isn't a very good word, Bella. I don't want you to just be fine. I know you are doing well in school, and honestly, I was extremely relieved to see how physically well you look. I feared at first that Edward's death would slowly kill you like his first absence did..." _

_"I won't say it's been easy, Mom, but I'm not alone this time. I have Carlisle and my siblings to take care of me-they're there for me when I need a shoulder."_

_"I'm glad you have that. They seem like wonderful people." _

_"They are, Mom. They're the best."_

_I must have tipped her off to my feelings somehow, I've always worn my heart on my sleeve._

_"You miss them, don't you?"_

_"Of course. It's the first time I've been away from them at all in a year and a half."_

_"Bella, is there anyone special in your life?"_

_I didn't know how to answer this. I suppose the answer was technically no, as I had no relationship. But I couldn't deny how special Carlisle was to me now. As much as I tried to fight it, my feelings for him were growing. This time away had done nothing but show me how much I wanted to be around him. I loved being his friend, what we shared together was fabulous. But I knew I'd jump at the chance of more with him. I also knew that was not a possibility._

_I sighed. "No, Mom, no one at all."_

February

(CPOV)

I had offered to work the night shift at the hospital tonight, what with it being Valentine's Day and me having no plans. I considered it a good deed. I was now deeply regretting my charitable nature.

When I arrived at work, I found four valentines on the desk in my office-all from nurses who I usually work with. Since I started my shift, I had been propositioned openly by another nurse as well as a patient. The receptionist in the lobby had also flirted shamelessly each time she saw me. I tried flashing her a smile that showed all of my teeth-that would cause a normal human to instinctually shy away. Apparantly, this woman was far from normal.

Rarely do I not enjoy my work. Tonight, I was watching the clock. What was it about this holiday that made the women so brazen? After all, I still wore my wedding band! I had done nothing to encourage such behavior. Quite the opposite, really. I was polite, but not overly friendly with any of my coworkers. I didn't even _see_ any of these women. To me, they were nurses, patients, receptionists. Not women. I don't see women, I never really have. Except Esme. And now Bella. Why could they not leave me alone?

I arrived home after my shift in a rather foul mood. I found Bella curled up, fast asleep on the sofa, and decided to move her up to her bed where she could be more comfortable. I heard no noise in the house, so I assumed the couples had gone out for the night.

I was able to lift Bella without waking her, and carried her up the stairs. I set her down in her bed and began to pull away, but her tiny hands grasped my shirt and refused to release me. I sat down next to her on the mattress to wait for her to let go, but rather than letting go, she snuggled in closer to me. I wasn't quite sure what to do now. Surely she was just absorbing the comfort she found in my cool skin, and would go back to sleep in a few minutes.

Fifteen minutes and twelve seconds later, I was still in her death grip, when things suddenly changed. Bella, who I have always known to talk in her sleep, began to moan. At first, I was worried that she was somehow uncomfortable. But then I heard the sound again, and realized exactly what was happening. She was having a rather intimate dream, it seemed. She must be holding me so tightly because her unconscious mind believes me to be Edward.

She took a deep breath, then, and pulled even closer to me. "Mmmmm....Carlisle, you smell so good." She whispered.

I was stunned. She was dreaming about me? In that way?

"Please, Carlisle, I want to be closer to you."

Oh God, what was I to do? What if she woke up? I didn't want to embarrass her, but at the same time, I was too curious to leave. All this time, I thought she looked at me in a fatherly manner, but this dream sounded far from a father/daughter chat!

No, what was I thinking? This is a dream, Carlisle! The girl is dreaming! I have heard her sleep talk about a yellow panda in the past. This means nothing. I must be a gentleman and leave the room before she wakes.

Knowing I could not relieve her grip on my shirt without waking her, I slipped my head and arms out of it and left the room with a bare torso, chastizing myself for letting my own impure thoughts run away with my rational mind, and went to my room to think.

Why was I feeling desire for her? Bella and I have become close in the last year and a half, there's no question of that. I look forward to our nightly talks throughout my entire day. I love her curiosity, her insight, her humor. Certainly she's one of the kindest people I've met in my entire existence. I find solace in her... When we are together, I feel comfort and happiness. Truly, she's my best friend now. But that is not the same as a lover. I should not think of her in that way, dream or no dream. It's improper of me. I should think of no woman in that way except for Esme. Especially not one who I am meant to protect.

I buried my face in my pillow, trying to suffocate the thoughts in my head. "Forgive me, Bella, Esme, Edward," I whispered.

April

(APOV)

Carlisle was home tonight, so I gathered Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie to go hunting for the night while he stayed home to guard Bella. I had been having many visions lately about the two of them, and I wanted to get everyone's take on matters.

We ran out into the forest and seperated to find our meals, agreeing to meet up within the hour at a favorite spot of ours near the river. I found a small herd of deer and took down two of them before I had my fill, and then headed back to the meeting place.

Once we were all there, Rosalie asked me what my ulterior motives for tonight were. It wasn't often that we went hunting together like this when it was only in the backyard.

"Well, I've been having some visions lately, and it's something I wanted to talk to you guys about, because ultimately, it involves all of us. The visions that I'm having, they involve Carlisle. And Bella. Together. It's usually off in the future a bit, but sometimes I get flashes that disappear quickly that are in the immediate future. I think one, if not both, of them are struggling with the feelings already, and that's what is causing the flash visions. But the visions in the further off future are almost definate. I don't see any change in them."

"You're right, darlin. They are already struggling-both of them. I have felt it more than once from each. The first time was on Halloween, and while it's not a constant feeling, it shows itself from time to time, and almost always accompanied by guilt, self loathing, insecurity, doubt, and grief. I think they're both starting to feel something for each other, but they think it's wrong, for a multitude of reasons, so they push it away."

"So you're saying that our sister...and our dad...are falling for each other?" Emmett asked.

"Basically, yeah, but that makes it sound really sick. Remember, Bella's still aging-she's going to continue to do so until she graduates. By then, she and Carlisle will be the same age. He won't really be able to play the father role for her." I explained.

"And really, I haven't felt much fatherly affection from Carlisle towards Bella. With Esme, it was pure motherly love, always. But Carlisle never quite regarded her in that way. Mind you, he never felt anything innappropriate. He did love her, and considered her family. He felt familial love for her, but it was never as fatherly as the way he feels for us. But since we lost Esme and Edward, I've felt his feelings toward her-he thinks of her as a friend. A best friend, perhaps. He has loved her in that way since the battle. And she feels for him in the same way. And I've noticed, especially in the last few months, that the connection they feel for each other seems stronger somehow. When they are not together, they both feel incomplete, but together, they both feel secure. They really rely quite heavily on each other."

"So you see them in the future, Alice?" Rosalie asked. "Are they happy?"

"So happy, Rose. The love shines in their eyes. Carlisle's eyes will sparkle again, in the way they haven't since Esme died."

"Then I'm all for it," she replied without hesitation. "I hate seeing him so sad. We are all happy, and they should have the chance to feel this way too."

Emmett agreed as well, and Jasper smiled at me knowingly.

"We can't say anything to them about this, though. Not yet. Only if they come to us, and then we can only give our own opinions. We can't tell them about the visions-I'm afraid that we will somehow change the future if we tell it to them, and I don't want to deny them this happiness."

We all agreed, and then walked back to the house, feeling hope for the future of our family once again.

**A/N: Ok, that's the end of Year 1 at Dartmouth. Hope you enjoyed. If you want to know about the cars mentioned, follow the links for pics.**

**Carlisle's cars:**

.

.


	11. 10A Dartmouth, Year 2, Part 1

**A/N: Twilight and it's characters etc are not mine. Unfortunately. There is some recognizable dialogue taken from **Twilight** and **New Moon**. This chapter is keeping the format of the last-told in snapshots. Enjoy and review please!**

Chapter 10A: Dartmouth, Year 2 (PART 1)

July

(BPOV)

This summer has not been going well. Unfortunately, the term schedule prevented me from going to Forks for the second anniversary of the battle, so Emmett, Rose, and Carlisle went alone. The past month has been extremely difficult, and I think that is a majority of the cause, since I had been doing pretty well up until then. On top of that, I have gotten caught up with thinking about Carlisle too often lately. I felt so guilty, thinking of him when I should be thinking of Edward. I just feel like I've been away for too long. I need to remind myself of the truth-my mate is dead, and Carlisle is not mine to think about.

Taking biology this summer also seems to be compounding my emotional distress. Ever since I arrived in Forks, biology has been associated with Edward in my head. Every day that I sit in this class reminds me over and over that he is gone.

When I arrived in class today, I had a foreboding feeling in the pit of my stomach, like today was going to be a very bad day. Mayeb I should just go back home.

_"It's healthy to ditch class now and then."_

Oh God.

The professor came in and began his lecture, so I was stuck here for the duration. The lecture today was about the phases of mitosis, and it was all I could do to listen to him while the snapshots of Edward flashed through my mind.

Edward in the meadow, glittering in the sun. Edward standing just outside the gym, stroking my face from my temple to my jaw with the back of his hand. Edward in the Volvo, looking over at me and smiling that crooked smile I loved so much. Edward in my rocking chair in the early morning light. Edward, standing next to the clock tower in Italy, looking down at my face with surprise, wonder, and amusement as he thought we were both dead and in heaven together.

No. I shook my head hard, trying to break out of my thoughts. We are not in heaven together. Edward is gone, and I am here. In class. Where I should be paying attention. I stuggled to regain some symbolance of focus.

A few moments later, our professor excused the class for a ten minute break while he and his lab assistants prepared for our lab. When we re-entered the classroom, I saw the lab tables littered with microscopes.

Oh no.

I can't do this.

"Our lab work today, students, involves looking at a series of slides and observing the way the cells look while in different stages of mitosis."

There was one microscope to every table of two. The girl sitting next to me offered ours to me with a simple hand gesture.

_"Ladies first, partner?" _

I stared at her for a moment before reaching for the scope. I looked at the slide and immediately recognized the cell to be in prophase. I wrote it down in my lab book and drew a quick sketch of the cell I had just viewed before passing the microscope back to my tablemate.

_"Do you mind if I look?" _

She finished with the slide, and then reached into the box where the rest of the slides were held. She pulled one out and handed it to me. "Would you like to load this one?" She asked.

I remembered Edward handing me a slide, being careful not to touch my skin.

I tried to load the slide, but the images were coming agian, too quickly, and this time with sound.

Edward, sitting next to me in the meadow, his eyes showing agony. _"You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever." _

Edward, holding me in his arms in my bed. _"I may not be human, but I am a man."_

Edward at the prom, holding me close, his fingers tracing my lips. _"I will stay with you - isn't that enough?"_

Edward, sitting on my bed, trying to convince me I was not dreaming him there. _"I'm here, and I love you. I have always loved you, I will always love you."_

Too much. Too much. Too much.

I couldn't see anything real anymore. I couldn't breathe. I heard the slide shatter on the lab table as I gladly surrendered to the black abyss.

For the second time since I started Darthmouth, Carlisle had to pick me up from school and drive me home.

Later that night, I was sitting alone on the tree swing. I had spent most of the day there, lost in my thoughts. I had come to the conclusion that all of the flashbacks were something of a reminder for me of where my head is supposed to be, so I was doing my best to push all more-than-friendly thoughts of Carlisle from my head. Jasper had come out to sit with me earlier, but couldn't take all the guilt I was projecting and left, but not before trying, unsuccessfully, to drown me in calm. When I heard Carlisle approach, I sighed heavily. I had to get my act together. He was my friend, and I would think of his as such.

"Good evening, Bella. Are you feeling better?" He asked politely.

"Yes, thank you Carlisle," I replied, matching his tone.

"Would you like to talk about what happened earlier today?"

Really, I would. I wanted him to hold me in his arms and stroke my hair while I cried. But I wouldn't. I couldn't. I needed to distance myself now, and being wrapped up in his arms would give me anything but distance.

"I'm okay, now, really. I just had a rough day in Biology-we were doing a lab that Edward and I had once done together, and it brought on too many memories. It was a bit too much for me, that's all. Really, I'm fine."

He moved his arms to embrace me, but I moved back on the seat so that I was further from him. He dropped his arms, and I thought I could see disappointment, or maybe hurt, in his eyes. Sure I imagined it, I simply ignored it.

"So how was your day at the hospital?" I asked, desperate to change the subject.

"It was alright. My most exciting case of the day was an emergency call from the Dartmouth Campus," he said with a slight smirk. _Was he flirting with me?!_ No, of course he wasn't. Why would he? He thinks of me like a friend or a daughter. The "flirting" is obviously the result of my overactive imagination...an imagination that you would expect to be tired after a day like today.

_Get your head on straight, Bella!_

I smiled wryly. "Well, I'm glad I could amuse you. Maybe I'll change my major to theater, seeing as how I'm such a drama queen." I snorted at the irony-Edward always said I was a terrible actress.

Carlisle looked at me with concern. "Bella, there's no reason to be ashamed. Your reaction was understandable," he said, sounding gentle.

"I'm not ashamed," I said quickly. "It's just that you don't see other students walking around with vampire bodyguards and being carried off campus after fainting spells!" There was anger in my voice, but I wasn't angry with Carlisle, I was angry with myself - for being weak, for wanting to move on, for wanting to let Carlisle hold me right now for my own selfish desires...

"Bella," he started, "While that may be true, I also do not expect that your classmates have been attacked not once, but four times, by blood-thirsty vampires. Nor do I expect that they were witness to a vampire war, or the murder of the werewolf who was their best friend... Shall I go on? Bella, you've been through more in a few short years than most people could imagine. You have every right to respond the way you do."

His hand was resting on mine now - it was the only part of me he could reach, since I had countered his movement toward me with my own slide back to the edge of the swing's seat. I had every right to respond this way? I doubt he would say that if he knew that I was fighting the urge to kiss him. That was a response I am sure he would not think I had a right to.

(CPOV)

I had worried about Bella all afternoon as I finished my shift at the hospital. I had picked her up from the campus after she fainted in her biology lab, and she refused to speak to me in the car. I watched as silent tears fell down her soft cheeks, fighting the urge to reach up and wipe them away. She was obviously thinking of Edward. I knew this term would be difficult for her since she had shared a biology class with Edward in Forks.

I was disgusted with myself. Here was this beautiful human who was still obviously grieving my son, not thinking of another besides him, just as I should be doing in regards to Esme. She was so much better than me.

When I returned from the hospital, I debated going outside to sit with her as I usually did. She had so obviously not wanted me around this afternoon, maybe I should continue to respect her space? In the end, I decided to go to her, because I was her friend, and she needed a shoulder tonight. I might be the loathsome man who wishes for more than he can have, but I will_ not_ let that hurt Bella. I _will_ be what she needs.

She was sitting in the center of the tree swing as I approached, her knees drawn up to her chest, her mahogany waves cascading down her back. She looked up at me, and I saw one tendril hanging in front of her eye, and fought the urge to push it back behind her ear.

_Get yourself in control, Carlisle! Be her friend!_

"Good evening, Bella," I greeted. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, thank you Carlisle," she replied, without her usual warmth.

When had this gotten so difficult?

"Would you like to talk about what happened earlier today?"

"I'm okay, now, really. I just had a rough day in Biology-we were doing a lab that Edward and I had once done together, and it brought on too many memories. It was a bit too much for me, that's all. Really, I'm fine."

I had known this was the problem, and my heart ached for her. I reached out to embrace her, but she moved away from me. I pulled back, trying not to take it personally. But why was she acting this way? We always comforted each other after the hard days! Maybe I had offended her in some way? Or perhaps she was drawing away from me like she had done in the early months on Isle Esme? Was the guilt returning? I didn't want to see her hurting like that again, I was determined to make her smile.

"So how was your day at the hospital?" She asked, abruptly changing the subject, causing me to further suspect her guilty feelings.

"It was alright. My most exciting case of the day was an emergency call from the Dartmouth Campus," I said, smiling. I was trying to show her that I didn't mind helping her, that I wanted her to let me.

The look on her face was between a smile and a glare. "Well, I'm glad I could amuse you. Maybe I'll change my major to theater, seeing as how I'm such a drama queen." She snorted.

Oh no, she thought I was poking fun at her. I wouldn't make it worse by reminding her that she'd make a terrible actress-she's far too easy to read. I was supposed to be helping her now, not hurting her feelings.

"Bella, there's no reason to be ashamed. Your reaction was understandable," I soothed.

"I'm not ashamed," she snapped. "It's just that you don't see other students walking around with vampire bodyguards and being carried off campus after fainting spells!" There was anger in her voice. Obviously I was doing everything wrong tonight.

"Bella," I started, reaching out again to embrace her, only to be rejected again. "While that may be true, I also do not expect that your classmates have been attacked not once, but four times, by blood-thirsty vampires. Nor do I expect that they were witness to a vampire war, or the murder of the werewolf who was their best friend... Shall I go on? Bella, you've been through more in a few short years than most people could imagine. You have every right to respond the way you do."

I touched her hand, needing to have some sort of connection to her, but not wanting to upset her by pushing further. In fact, maybe that was the problem. Perhaps she saw through my gestures to the longing I felt for her. She always was perceptive, she was probably just too embarrassed or polite to say anything to me. Realizing this, I pulled my hand away, feeling more angry with myself than ever.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I have work to do in my study. Good-night."

I said it with as much detachment as I could, and then forced myself to walk away from her.

September

(BPOV)

It was my birthday again. My 21st. Alice had planned a party for me, followed by a night out to celebrate. I had begged her not to. You'd think after how disasterous my eighteenth birthday party was that she would have learned her lesson.

"Don't worry, Bella. I've Seen it. We'll use gift bags and paper plates, and we can even line all the corners of the furniture with pillows if you like. Everything will be just great, I promise!" Alice had assured me.

I still wasn't convinced, but as I've said before, Alice is really an unstoppable force.

As I have learned in the past, you never bet against Alice. She was right yet again, and the birthday party went well with no danger. It was actually kind of fun. Alice hadn't gone overboard like she had the last time, which was a relief. She had, however, bought a birthday cake for me, which she forced everyone present, much to their disgust (and later, extreme discomfort), to eat.

I must admit, as well, that my family did an incredible job of choosing my gifts. From Alice, I recieved a fabulous outfit to wear to the club where we were going dancing, complete with all accessories. Emmett had purchased and Rosalie installed a navigation system for the Volvo. From Jasper I received a leather riding jacket and helmet, to wear while riding the new motorcycle that he had gone with me to buy yesterday: a shiny black Ducati SportClassic Sport 1000 S. That excited me so much-I had been missing my old bike for awhile now, the rush that it gave me when the wind blew against my face as I rode... Lastly, from Carlisle, I got an amazing set of twenty of the greatest works of Shakespeare, all leather bound and in pristine condition, printed in 1901. It was incredible. I was amazed by the thought that had gone into this gift, and how hard it must have been to find such a collection. Part of me longed to read into his gift, to take it as some sort of sign of affection from him, but I wouldn't allow myself to go down that path again. Nevertheless, I would cherish his gift forever. I hugged everyone and thanked them over and over again for the amazing gifts before Alice dragged me upstairs to get me ready.

After an extra long round of Bella Barbie, I was ready. I stepped in front of the mirror and was floored by what I saw. I looked...sexy. I certainly wasn't used to making _that_ impression! The dress that Alice had gotten me was royal blue, short, and skin-tight. The top was pulled up into a point above my left breast, where the fabric met an O-shaped rhinestone pendant, which then connected to the strap that crossed my back to meet the dress on the opposite side. The bottom of the dress was rouched to one side. She had gotten me silver strappy heels to wear, along with a silver cuff bracelet. Rosalie had curled my hair into soft waves and my makeup was dark and smoky.

"Wow," I breathed. "Is that really me?"

"Yes, it is, little sister. I told you we'd make you hot!" Rose giggled.

"Uh, Rosie, my dear sister, I am 21 now. You, my dear, are no longer the BIG sister!"

They both looked at me incredulously, and we all dissolved into giggles. Every time I tried to make this arguement, they reminded me that my great grandmother was in diapers when they were born. Technicalities, I'd always reply.

Alice was wearing a fabulous purple mini dress with a deep, wide v-neckline and a cinched empire waist studded with lighter purple beads. The bottom of the dress was a bubble style, and ended with a band of beads that matched the waistline. She had a matching necklace and bracelet that combined silver balls and light purple beads, and silver stilletos that laced up her ankles.

Rosalie's dress was bright red, as always, and very short and fitted. The bustline was rouched and criss-crossed, and rhinestone straps wrapped around it, and then went over her shoulders and crossed across her back. She wore matching rhinestone bracelet and bright red stilletos.

They both looked amazing, as usual, but this time I actually felt like I fit in.

We went down the stairs to find Carlisle and my brothers waiting for us. We had invited Carlisle to join us, but he claimed to have some work to catch up on. I tried hard not to show my disappointment. The boys were ready to go, though, both looking like models for GQ. Emmett was wearing black pants with a half-open black silk shirt, and Jasper had on dark wash jeans with a light grey button up.

I noticed approving looks from both of my brothers, as well as a rather shocked expression on Carlisle's face that reminded me of last year on Halloween. I wondered what it was about, but didn't question him. Instead, we all bid him a good night and went out to Rose's BMW.

At the club, my siblings annouced that, since it was my twenty-first birthday, I had make a human memory tonight by having my first taste of alcohol. Since none of them drank anything other than blood, and I'd never had alcohol before, none of us were sure what I should order. In the end, it was Emmett who decided that we should each get to choose one drink for me. By the end of the night, I had consumed a Sex on the Beach (Emmett's choice), a Cosmopolitan (Alice), a margarita (me), a Screaming Orgasm (Rosalie), and a shot of Southern Comfort (Jasper), and I must say I was feeling the effects. At first it just loosened me up, and I had a ton of fun dancing with my sisters and also with my brothers. It was great to be out with them-they never made me feel like the fifth wheel that I was.

Finally, when Jasper noticed that my inebriation was rather severe, we decided to head home. The car ride seemed to help sober me up a little, but I knew I was still drunk when we got back to the house. Emmett and Jasper definately enjoyed Drunk Bella, however, getting me to talk about all sorts of things that I would usually refuse to discuss on the way home. I have a feeling I'll never live that car ride down.

At the house, the couples went up to their rooms right away. Jasper had absorbed quite a bit of lust at the club and had shared it freely in the car on the way home, so I knew what they'd all be up to for awhile. When I walked into the living room, I saw Carlisle sitting on the couch, staring into space. I walked over and sat down next to him, doing my best not to drool over him, sitting here looking like a blond God. Oh yes, I had been pushing down these feelings for awhile. But right now, in this moment, sitting there in his green polo and jeans, smirking despite the concern in his eyes when I stumbled on my way to the couch, his golden hair touselled...right now those thoughts were fighting hard to come to the surface.

(CPOV)

The kids took Bella out tonight to a club for her twenty-first birthday. I had been invited along, but one look at the dress that Alice had bought Bella for her birthday had me making up a work excuse to stay home. Ever since that damned Halloween costume last year, I've been finding myself feeling desirous of Bella more and more. Strangely, it's not just when she dresses in an overtly sexy way, which is what I had first thought. Sometimes I feel it when I see her eating cereal first thing in the morning when her hair is still a mess, or when she's outside reading in the tree swing. I know, however, especially since that day that she rejected me on the swing, that she doesn't return my feelings, so I continue to push them down. But I didn't see how that would be possible with her dressed like that when I could hardly manage it when she was in jeans.

Then Bella walked down the stairs, her outfit, hell, her whole being, screaming sex. My rational side completely overpowered for a moment by my wanton body. I was standing next to Jasper, so I tried to think of the flowers in the garden around the hospital, of fluffy clouds floating in the sky, of waves in the ocean...but all I felt were tidal waves of lust. Jasper knew, I'm well aware, but thankfully did not draw attention to it.

The entire time they were out at the club I was pacing in my study, trying to rid myself of these thoughts, these images in my mind. But they arrived home to me waiting in the living room like the dirty man that I am, desperate for just one more look at her. I was shocked when she walked in, quite obviously inebriated, and sat down next to me on the couch while the others went off to their rooms.

"Hello, Carlisle," she said, her voice deep and throaty. "Did you have a nice evening? Get all your work done?"

_Tell her no! Tell her no so you can run to your study and hide!_

"Yes, Bella, it's all finished. Did you have a nice time at the club?"

"Oh yes! I didn't expect to enjoy myself, but I really did! It was fun!"

"I see you experimented with alcohol to celebrate your legality. Emmett's idea?"

"Of course it was Emmett's idea! Who else? I am pretty sure he was also the one who decided that everyone should pick a drink for me to try..."

_She is drunk, Carlisle, you cannot take advantage!_

"So you had quite a bit to drink, then?"

"Oh, yeah. I had five drinks. I had a shot of Southern Comfort, a cosmo, a margarita, a sex on the beach, and a screaming orgasm."

_A what?????_

"Did you enjoy any of them?" She was sitting so close to me. God! She looked so sexy in that dress!

"Yes! I didn't like the shot very much, it kind of made me gag. The cosmo was ok, but not great. But the others were delicious. Especially the screaming orgasm!" She paused, seeming lost in thought for a moment. "You know, Carlisle, I've never had a real screaming orgasm. I've never had any orgasm at all." She said this in a very matter of fact tone. My jaw nearly hit the floor.

_Why are you telling me this? Are you trying to kill me?_

She continued her thoughtful, drunken ramble. "I've heard Emmett and Rose. Often, actually. Rose seems to scream a lot. I'd really like to know what that feels like...to feel so much pleasure that you just scream..."

_Oh God, Bella, I'd LOVE to make you scream... Stop it Carlisle! Stop it now!_

"And sex on the beach...Have you had sex on a beach, Carlisle? I would think it would be tough, you know, with the sand... It's always hard to get sand off your feet, much less all the places it would get if you were naked and rolling in it..."

_Somebody help me, I am picturing her naked in the sand. I should leave the room._

"Um, no, Bella. I've never actually tried that." My voice was trembling. I was desperately holding on to the thin thread of my control now.

"You know, Carlisle," she breathed, coming even closer to me. I could smell the alcohol on her breath and in her blood, but it did not deter my desire at all. "Maybe we could help each other out with that one day."

_?????!!!!!! She's drunk, she's drunk, she's drunk.... End this now!_

"Um, Bella, maybe you should get up to bed, now. It's very late already." I was desperate for a way out of this conversation. At this moment, I had the utmost respect for Edward's level of control, being able to resist this vixen for a year and a half. I was fighting to keep myself from taking her right here on this couch.

"Will you come with me, Carlisle?" She asked, even more seductively than before.

_Help! Anybody! I am going to spontaneously combust right now!_

"Of course, Bella, I will help you to your bed."_ And then run from the room as quickly as possible before I rip off this dress and have my way with you._

"But will you _stay_ in it with me?"

_You don't know how much I want to._

"Yes, Bella, I'll sit with you until you fall asleep."

She gave me an exasperated look, obviously annoyed that I was not understanding her meaning. Little did she know I understood it perfectly well, I was just too much of a gentleman to take advantage of her in this state.

"Bella, you are drunk, dear. Right now you need to sleep."

And with that, I laid her in her bed and walked back to my own room, my arousal painful, praying that she would have no memory of this conversation in the morning. I, unfortunately, with my damned infallible vampire memory, would not have such a luxury.

November

(BPOV)

I have not had a sip of alcohol since the night of my birthday. Not only did I wake up with a horrible hangover the next morning, but also with the memory of an extremely embarrassing failed attempt to seduce Carlisle while in my drunken state. I was so glad he never mentioned it afterwards, as I probably would have had to crawl into a hole and die from shame. Not that I don't think (and dream) of being with Carlisle, but I obviously don't have a chance there, so all I did was embarrass myself thouroghly.

I remember that night often, how Carlisle ignored all my attempts at seduction, so that I will not be tempted to try it again. Especially on days like today, when he had looked like a model in his dark grey flat-front trousers, white button down shirt, and white sweatervest with an argyle print in shades of grey. Surely it was unfair for him to look so tempting. That is what I was thinking about in my Romantic Literature class today, while I was supposed to be listening to a discussion on the poetry of William Blake.

While it was obvious that Carlisle was extremely handsome and sexy, I felt more for him than lust, and I knew it. I had respected and admired him for so long...the vampire who, even as a newborn with no guidance, denied bloodlust, who worked as a doctor to care for humans, who made treaties with werewolves rather than fight with them. His ability to love and show compassion made him so...human. Carlisle was so strong, so devoted to his family, to doing what was right. He was generous. He was romantic. I had seen that when he was with Esme, and I dreamt of someday experiencing it personally. He, like me, was an old soul. I don't mean the fact that he was over three hundred and sixty years old, but rather in the sense that he was physically twenty-three, but chose to be a mature fatherly figure rather than a young man, just like I had always been the adult in my relationship with my parents. But I had seen him cut loose and be young, on the island, and when he played baseball...he was unbelievably adorable in those times.

Yes, the reality I was facing was that I was really falling for Carlisle.

I was gathering my notebook and pencils at the end of class when Ethan, an attractive boy with whom I have taken several classes, called my name.

"Bella? I noticed you were a bit distracted during class today. I was wondering if you wanted to copy my notes?"

"Oh, Ethan, thanks. You're right, I was lost in my own thoughts today."

"It's no problem, Bella. You're usually so involved in the discussion, I thought maybe you weren't well."

"No, no, I'm fine...I was just lost in some memories, that's all," I assured him.

"This was my last class today, would you like to go over to the Collis Cafe and have some lunch with me while you copy those notes?"

"Um, yeah, I guess that would be ok."

A short walk later, I was sitting at a table in the cafe with Ethan, copying his notes as quickly as I could. He politely waited in silence until I finished.

"So Bella, I noticed your ring awhile back. At first I thought it might be an engagement ring, but I've seen you on campus with two different guys, so I wasn't sure what to make of it?" He asked, tentatively.

"Oh, well, it _is_ an engagement ring. But the guys you've seen me with are my brothers."

"I see. Does your fiancee go to school here as well?"

"No....my fiancee is dead." I was doing my best to fight back the tears that were threatening to spill.

"Oh, Bella, I'm really sorry, I..."

"No, no, Ethan," I interrupted. "There was no way you could have known. He was killed over two years ago."

"Really, Bella, I'm sorry. I feel bad for bringing that up."

"All is forgiven, Ethan, really. And thanks again for letting me copy your notes, but I do have to run now. My brothers finish their class in a few minutes, and they'll be waiting for me to go home."

"Anytime, Bella, really."

Really there was no one waiting for me. Not at school or at home. I just had to get out of there before I started crying. I just couldn't take the reminder of Edward, especially not less than an hour after I had been fatasizing about his "father".

Later that night, I went to Carlisle's study to talk. We used to talk to each other often in the evenings, before I started avoiding him in my shame after my birthday. He looked pleased to see me when I entered.

"Bella, dear, nice to see you. Is there something on your mind, or did you just come to chat?"

_He's always so polite, so gentle...so handsome._

"Actually, Carlisle, something happened at school today that I wanted to discuss with you."

"Of course, Bella, go ahead."

_Well, let's see, it all started when I was fantasizing about how sexy you are..._

_"_One of my classmates asked me about my ring today, wondering whether I was engaged. I told him that it was an engagement ring, but that my fiancee was dead. That's when I realized that its been nearly two and a half years since he died. Of course I still miss him, and I still love him, but we're never going to get married. He's gone, no matter how much I hate it."

"I understand what you're saying, Bella. I'm in much the same position myself."

"So should we still be wearing our rings? I mean, I don't want to betray Edward, or belittle what we had together, and the same for you and Esme, but are we closing ourselves off from ever having a chance at feeling that again by wearing their rings still?"

I was giving him an opening. If there was _any_ chance for us to be together, maybe he'd show me now. Maybe, just maybe, he could feel this way too?

"Honestly, Bella, I've wondered the same thing myself. Part of me is afraid to take it off, it's like giving her up. I know Esme asked me to be happy, and I want to be, but I don't know if that will ever happen. But the truth is, there _is_ a woman that I noticed, since Esme died, but she is not interested in me, and that hurts. It's easier to leave the ring on and protect my heart, I suppose."

_I think my broken heart was just shattered a bit more. The one man I've really __seen__ since I lost Edward, and there's someone else he's interested in. I should have known._

"Yeah, I think you're right. We're obviously not ready to take off our rings yet. Have a good night Carlisle."

I heard him sigh as I ran quickly from his room, but I didn't stop. I had to get to my room before the tears fell.

December

(CPOV)

I was told of the hospital's charity New Year's Eve ball at the beginning of this month. It was required for all doctors to attend, and family was welcome. The proceeds from ticket sales would benefit the hospital's scholarship fund for lower income students who wish to become doctors. I liked the cause, so I added a bit of a donation when I paid for the tickets. The chief of staff's secretary was quite surprised by the check for two hundred and fifty thousand dollars that I gave her to pay for six tickets, I can assure you.

While driving home from hospital, I imagined myself gliding across the ballroom with Bella in my arms... How beautiful she'd look in a gown...

I was attacked by Alice the moment I pulled the Mercedes into the garage. She, of course, had Seen the invitation and was nearly jumping out of her skin with excitement over the prospect of shopping for formal wear.

"Oh Carlisle, say we can go!!"

"Of course, Alice, of course. We will all go to the ball."

"Thank you Dad!" She cried, throwing her arms around my neck. Then she settled suddenly. "Might I make a suggestion, though?"

"Of course, Alice. What is it?"

"Why don't you ask Bella to be your date?"

I stared at her in shock.

"Oh come on, Carlisle. Think about it. If you go stag, the nurses will be hounding you all night to dance with them. You'll be safe from that if you have Bella accompany you. Not to mention I doubt she'd even go if she had to go stag-you know Bella, she's not really into this sort of thing." She gave me a knowing smile and then started to walk away. I heard her mumbling "and it's not as if you don't want her as your date" as she entered the house.

Two days later, I approached Bella in the evening. I was a honestly quite nervous about asking her to be my date, especially when I clearly remembered the fit she threw about Edward taking her to the prom. On top of that, I'd noticed that she has been acting strangely with me for several weeks, and I wasn't sure of the reason. I wondered if it had anything to do with the boy who asked her about her ring... Perhaps she was involved with him now? I hated that thought. I did know that I greatly missed her company. And truly, Alice was right. I really did want to take her as my date. As much as I didn't want to have any non-platontic feelings toward her, there was no denying that I did. Suffice it to say, if I wasn't a vampire, my hands would be shaking and my palms sweaty as I knocked on her bedroom door.

She answered the door and immediately began to blush. Oh, how I adored that blush.

"Do you have a minute, Bella?"

"Oh, sure, Carlisle. Come on in." She backed away and returned to her window seat.

I followed her, and sat down on the other side of the bench. I was reminded of the earlier times on this bench, when things were simpler.

"My hospital is hosting a charity ball for New Year's Eve for the hospital staff and their families. Of course the whole family will attend, but I was wondering if you, well...if you would like to accompany me? As my date?"

My word, how ridiculous. I am a vampire, for goodness sake, and I am terrified of this human woman? I'm glad that my vampire abilities did not include blushing, or I would be redder than Bella.

Her face brightened immediately. "Really, Carlisle?"

"Yes, of course, Bella. Would you like that?"

She threw her arms around my neck and hugged me. "I would love that, Carlisle. Thank you."

I hugged her back, enjoying the feeling of her warmth against me. Was there a chance that she felt the same way I did?

The moment was interrupted by Alice, rushing into the room. "Come on, Bella! We have to go dress shopping!"

Finally, it was New Year's Eve. To avoid having to put on a show of eating, we were planning to arrive one hour late to the ball. Alice had ordered all the boys into my room to get ready, and all of the girls were in her room. She had laid out clothes for all of us, all three of us in Armani tuxedos with black tie. It didn't take much time for us to prepare, and once we were ready we walked into the living room to wait on our dates.

What seemed like an eternity later, the girls descended the stairs one by one. Rosalie came first, wearing a bright red dress with a low v-neck, beaded black belt, and a high slit on the leg. She wore all gold jewelry, and looked absolutely gorgeous. I could see on Emmett's face that he readily agreed with this assesment.

Alice came next, wearing a black and white floral print strapless dress with three dimensional flowers on the lower portion. She was wearing all diamond jewelry, and had put pin curls in her usually spiky hair, making her look quite glamorous. Jasper's eyes were as wide as his smile as she reached him.

Lastly came Bella. She was beautiful, in a sapphire colored gown that appeared gauzy on the top, with cap sleeves, and a silk skirt flowing away from the empire waist. She wore sapphire earings and her hair was pulled back in silver combs. Truly, she looked like a goddess. I kissed her lightly on the cheek as she approached me, although I would have much preferred to kiss her luscious lips.

"You are absolutely breathtaking, Bella," I whispered into her ear. I heard her heart rate quicken, and the blush flushed her cheeks.

"Thank you, Carlisle. You look quite dashing yourself."

We arrived at the hospital's ballroom and found our table. The girls set down their bags and we quickly escorted them to the dancefloor.

"I'm not a very good dancer, Carlisle, I'm sorry." Bella confided.

"It's all in the leading, dear." I answered.

"So I've heard," she said with a wry smile.

With that, I twirled her around once and then held her close to me as we began to dance. Truly, it felt heavenly to hold her in this way, but all the while I was questioning myself. Was she enjoying it as I was? What was she expecting of me tonight? What did she feel for me, really? Could she possibly return my feelings? If only she would give me some sort of hint!

I tried to focus on the beautiful woman in my arms, but it seemed that my mind would not free itself. The memories began - the last time I had danced, it was with Esme. Really, I don't remember any dance in my existance before tonight that was not with Esme. Oh, how I loved that woman. I wondered if my feelings for Bella were simply a matter of lonliness. Perhaps this is the "rebound" that I hear people discuss? I could not possibly treat Bella in any way that would hurt her, so I decided it would definately be better to avoid any further action until I truly understood my own feelings.

It was at that moment that Alice and Jasper twirled by. Alice was giving me a rather scornful look, which surprised and confused me. What had I done? Jasper, on the other hand, smirked at me knowingly, and shook his head. I felt a wave of confidance flow through me, but I didn't understand why he had given it to me. Was there anything that I understood tonight?

Midnight was approaching rapidly, and people gathered on the dancefloor and began to countdown to the new year. I knew the tradition is to kiss at midnight, and I was panicking. Perhaps this was the cause for Jasper's confidance? Or was it the cause for Alice's scorn? Should I kiss her or not?? I looked to my left and saw Jasper glaring at me, and then felt a wave of calm. Obviously I was annoying him with my mood swings tonight.

_"10...9...8...7...6..."_ Bella looked up at me. "_5...4...3...2...1...Happy New Year!"_

Jasper's calm had not helped me at all. I looked down at Bella, completely unsure of what I should do in this moment. I smiled at her, and whispered Happy New Year into her ear, and then gave her a light kiss on the lips before pulling away. I couldn't read her expression, so I looked around me. I saw Jasper holding Alice in his arms, kissing her lovingly. I saw Emmett and Rosalie, locked in a steamy, passionate kiss. I saw doctors and their spouses holding each other close with their lips pressed together. I looked back at Bella, who looked like she was fighting tears. Was it because of what I did, or what I did not do?

"Come, Bella, you must be tired. Let's go sit down for a bit. I'll get you a glass of champagne." I led her back to our table, taking a champagne flute from a waiter on the way. When she had finished it, I asked her if she was ready to go back to the house.

"Yes, please, Carlisle. Let's go."

She didn't speak to me on the drive home, and I was silent as well. I had no idea how I had upset her, but it pained me that I had done so. When we arrived at the house, I thanked her for accompanying me to the ball, and she went to her room and shut the door.

I walked up to her door and called to her. She did not answer. "Bella, I'm sorry." I said. She did not come back out. I gave up and went back to my room, brooding.

**A/N: Please review and let me know what you think!**

**For someone as perceptive as Bella and someone as intelligent as Carlisle, you'd think they'd be smarter than this, wouldn't you? LOL Just be patient, they are both scared and insecure...remember, it's not like they have feelings for a stranger that they'll never have to see again if they get rejected! **

**Next up is the second half of Year 2 at Dartmouth...will it get any better for these two in the new year?**

**If you are interested in the dresses worn in this chapter, here are some links.**

**For Bella's 21st party:**

**Bella: **.

**Alice: **.

**Rosalie:** .

**For the New Year's Ball:**

**Bella: **. **(but in sapphire)**

**Alice: **.?itemId=prod39460091&eItemId=prod39460091&cmCat=search&searchType=MAIN&parentId=&icid=&rte=%%253FNo%253D120%2526Ntt%253Devening%2526_requestid%253D3399%2526N%253D4294956509

**Rosalie: **.


	12. 10B Dartmouth, Year 2, Part 2

**A/N: Twilight belongs to S. Meyer. If I had possession of Carlisle or Jasper, I guarantee you I would not be spending my time writing... ;)**

**Here's the second half of Year 2 at Dartmouth.**

**Please review and enjoy!**

Chapter 10B: Dartmouth, Year 2 (Part 2)

January

(BPOV)

I was trying to control my feelings, but doing a bad job of it. When Carlisle kissed me at the New Year's ball, I thought he was going to _kiss_ me. I was wrong. He asked me to be his date, and then kissed me like a father. It hurt so much, but I tried not to show it. I had obviously misinterpreted his intentions, and I was beyond embarrassed. I may not have been quite as blatantly obvious as I had when I was drunk on my twenty-first birthday, but I had still reacted.

I didn't speak to him the whole ride home, and went straight to my room when we arrived. I couldn't face him. I didn't think I could take the rejection again. I should have known better. I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. This was obviously not the future that Alice saw for me. That's okay, though. I will get over this. I will go back to the way things were before... Before I messed everything up.

The ball was two weeks ago, and I'm still doing everything possible to avoid Carlisle. He gave up knocking on my door at night a few days ago. I just pretend to go to sleep much earlier than usual so that he won't try. Luckily he spends much of his day at the hospital, and he hunts on his days off.

I may not interact with him, but I still haven't found a way to stop thinking of him. Much of the time I think of how it felt, in those few short seconds, to have his lips touching mine. It was like heaven. I felt the electricity flowing through me, just like I used to with Edward. I think of how it felt dancing in his arms, with so many of the female guests at the ball looking at me with envy that I was with Dr. Cullen. And then I think about how it felt when he pulled back and looked anywhere but me after he kissed me. He obviously had not enjoyed it, probably had not even wanted to do it in the first place.

I'm just not sure I can keep going like this. It feels to awkward to be trying to avoid someone I share a house with. Maybe it would be best if I left for awhile... There's a study abroad program in Scotland with the English department that I've been thinking about for awhile. Winter term begins tomorrow, I think I'll stop by my advisor's office and get the information. It would be much easier to get over Carlisle if I didn't have to see his gorgeous face everyday.

(CPOV)

I still don't know what I did wrong. Bella has not spoken to me beyond a passing greeting since the kiss at the ball. I have obviously made a horrible misstep... If only I knew what exactly it was. I am sure it was the kiss. But was it that the kiss was not wanted, or that she wanted more? I have no idea. I have tried over and over to get her to talk to me, so we could discuss the problem, but she refuses. At first she gave me excuses, but now she pretends to sleep at the time I ascend the stairs. I know she is pretending, but I don't point it out to her. If she doesn't wish to speak to me, I won't force her.

I think about her constantly. I miss her, our nightly talks, her warmth. I hate knowing that I've hurt her. I never wanted to be the one to bring her more pain. But it seems I've made quite the mess this time.

I think back to the night of the ball constantly. I began the night so happy, dancing with the most beautiful woman in the room. She felt so right in my arms. Unfortunately, I didn't get to fully enjoy the night because I started thinking too much. As usual. So I focus on the good part. With perfect vampire recall, I can picture the way she looked as she came down the stairs in her gown. She was glorious - like an angel. It is good that I have no need for breathing, because she quite literally took my breath away when I saw her. I've known she was was a beautiful girl for a long time, but that night, I saw that she was in fact a beautiful woman. She wasn't sexy, she was heavenly. What I wouldn't do to spend every night dancing with her like that...

But I can't. Because I ruined everything. She does not want me. And I will have to accept that.

February

(JPOV)

Being an empath in this family is not an easy task. There's Emmett and Rosalie with their constant lust. Then there's Alice, who has me as giddy as a school girl half of the time. When Edward and Bella were together, and the level of sexual frustration they released to me was enough to make anyone crazy. But now? Carlisle and Bella are making me dizzy and driving me insane. Their emotions seem to be on a merry-go-round or a roller coaster of some sort. The two of them cycle through lust, love, fear, grief, anger, confusion, guilt, self-loathing, and longing constantly. It's never ending! If they would only come to grips with how they feel, and, oh, I don't know, be honest with each other about it, I might get some relief. But until that happens, I am apparantly doomed to suffer along with them.

Alice told me that something will change today, although she wasn't clear yet on what. That was, until Bella knocked on our bedroom door.

"Come on in sis," I called.

She entered, and sat down on our sofa.

"Alice, I wanted to talk to you about next year."

"Yes, of course I'll go with you Bella! I'm so excited!"

"Alice, darlin, what on earth are you talking about?" I asked, confused.

"Bella has decided to participate in the English department's study abroad program in Glasgow, Scotland. It takes place in Fall term. I'm going to go with her!"

"Alice, are you sure you can stand to be away from Jasper for that long?"

"It's only two and a half months. I think we can stand it...that's what they make phones for, after all. This is a great opportunity, and we'll have so much fun!" Alice exclaimed.

"That sounds great. But Bella, sis, can I ask you why you decided to do this?"

"Sure Jas. The truth is, I've been hoping to go ever since I heard about it at an afternoon tea in the English department during my fall term first year. That's one of the reasons that I loaded my schedule so heavily this past year and a half. I thought it would be a great chance for me to experience life that I haven't yet, out on my own for once. And I kind of made my decision final after New Years. I just think I need to get away from here for awhile."

"Sis, is this about Carlisle?" I asked her, already knowing the answer. I could feel it was soon as she mentioned New Year's.

Bella was silent for a minute, but her blush spoke plenty for her.

"Bells, sis, it's ok. Did you forget I'm an empath?"

"No, I guess not. So then you know everything?"

"Well, not everything. I know that you have had a merry go round of feelings that I can only assume are caused by Carlisle and Edward, and it's been making me dizzy for the past month."

"Sorry about that, brother. I didn't mean to bother you with it."

That's my sister, always worried about everyone else before herself. I made the decision in that moment that, even though it went against the non-disclosure plan that Alice and I had decided on, I was going to give the poor girl a break.

"It's not just you, sis."

She looked up at me with such hope in her eyes. "What do you mean, Jas?" She whispered.

"I mean you aren't the only one who's confused. Carlisle is too. You have to remember, you guys have an unfortunate amount of baggage coming along for the ride, here."

"But, Jas, is there anything there? Most of the time I get the feeing that he's just trying not to embarrass me, or that I'm making him uncomfortable. I just don't understand what he's thinking at all, and he certainly isn't helping me understand when we talk!"

"Bella, he feels for you. Constantly, in fact. He feels love and lust and longing almost constantly. The problem is that he combines it with guilt, self-loathing, and embarrassment. He doesn't believe that he's right in feeling what he feels, and that's holding him back. That's what stops him every time you get close. The truth is, Bells, you are both holding yourselves back from what you both want. He has to work through this, just like you do, and unfortunately, there's not much we can do to make it easier."

"Bella," my wife said, "You just have to keep the faith. Please. Everything will work out how it's supposed to, you'll see. Now, come on. Enough of this serious talk. We have plans to make for Scotland!"

"Alice, we aren't leaving for six months!"

"All the more reason to get planning! Let's go!"

Alice grabbed Bella by the arm and dragged her out of the room. I knew that there was really no need for "trip planning" just yet, but that she was giving me the freedom to go talk to Carlisle. And I appreciated her help in the matter.

An hour later found Carlisle and I in the forest, freshly sated from a hunt. He knew I had asked him out to talk, so he went to the gathering place by the river to wait for me when he was finished. I joined him there and sat down on a large rock.

"Dad? We need to talk. I've been feeling a lot of emotions from you for quite awhile now, but I haven't said anything until now. But you've been circling way too fast for over a month now, and I think that maybe you should talk to me about it."

"I'm sorry, Jasper," he said, hanging his head. "I knew that you could feel it and tried to control it, but it's been rather difficult."

"I know it, Carlisle. But you don't have to suffer on your own. I'm here. Talk to me. I know you have feelings for Bella, and I know you feel bad about having them. Why is that?"

"It just seems so wrong to me, son. Your mother was the only woman I ever loved. How did I just push that away? Replace her? And with the mate of my dead son? It sounds disgusting! She wants Edward, not me! I can't just approach her about it either, because I she doesn't return my feelings... I could destroy everything by doing that! I was supposed to be her friend, her protector even. And I'm afraid that I offended her at the ball. She has barely spoken to me at all since I kissed her. I fear that I overstepped and ruined everything!"

"I'm telling you, Dad, you and Bella deserve each other! How can two people be so inept at reading each other?"

"What are you talking about Jasper?" He was exasperated. So was I, for that matter.

"Carlisle, listen to me carefully. I should not be saying any of this, but I believe desperate times call for it. Bella is in love with you. She has been avoiding you since New Year's because she desperately wanted you to kiss her, and when you did, you pulled away. She thinks _you_ don't want _her_! She feels guilty constantly for having these feelings because she feels like she's ruining your friendship with her and that she'll somehow hurt the family. She is confused because you constantly throw her mixed messages and she has no idea how to react to you anymore. She is going to Scotland for fall term because she thinks she is making you uncomfortable by being here. You have got to work through this, Dad! Figure out what you want. And soon, or you're going to miss your chance completely."

"She's going to leave?" He whispered.

"Not forever, Carlisle. Just for the term. She really wants to do this study abroad. It's a good opportunity for her. Alice is going along with her. But her decision wasn't made until the disaster at the New Year's ball."

"So I'm pushing her away."

"Pretty much."

"I don't mean to, son. Really. I'm just so confused."

"Of course you are, Dad. That's understandable. But you need to realize something. Just because you find love with Bella doesn't mean your love for Esme was less important or less real than it was. Do you remember when you had only Edward? And then you found Rose? Did you love Edward less when Rose came along? No, you didn't. You love us all equally, I know that. I feel that. Hearts, even these dead ones, have an amazing capacity for love. There's room in your heart for both of them, without cheapening either. I feel what you feel, Carlisle. You already love Bella. You're just afraid to let yourself. And you still love Esme. Mom wanted you to be happy, and she loved Bella somethin' fierce. Really, I think she'd be pleased. Edward too. There's no one in this world he'd trust her with more than you. Please, dad, just think about all of this. Work through it all, and then decide what you want. But you've got to stop circlin', because it's gettin' you nowhere fast."

"Thank you, Jasper, for talking to me. For understanding me better than I can myself. You have no idea how much I appreciate it."

"Actually I do-I can feel that too," I laughed. "Come on, I'll race you home."

That was such a difficult conversation. I was so used to looking up to Carlisle, going to him for advice. He was the strong leader, the father figure, the one who always knew what to do. Now he was lost and confused. But I can be there for him this time. I can help him find his way, as he has done for me so many times before.

March

(CPOV)

I've done a lot of thinking since that talk with Jasper by the river. I knew he was right, and I did need to work through it. I read and re-read the letter that Esme left over and over again. I wanted to believe that she and Edward would be okay with Bella and me being together, but it was difficult. More than anything, I wanted to believe Jasper was right about Bella - that she was in love with me. I thought about how close we'd become since that night we talked on the beach of Isle Esme. She means so much to me, and really I'd take her in my life in any capacity I could have. Truly, though, I wanted her to be mine. I wanted to be able to kiss her and touch her in all the ways I'd imagined in the last year. But I also knew Jasper was right - I had issues to deal with, and if I was going to be with Bella, I wanted us to have a fresh start together.

Late in the evening, I went to Bella's room. I was hoping she'd be willing to sit in the window seat and talk with me, like old times. There'd been a lot of avoiding going on in recent months, and it was time to put an end to it.

"Bella?" I called as I knocked lightly on the door.

"Come on in, Carlisle," she replied.

I opened the door and walked in, finding her sitting in the window seat gazing out at the night sky. I saw a picture frame on the cushion next to her, and recognized the picture as one we had all taken together on Isle Esme, sitting in front of the "Christmas palm." I smiled at the memory.

"I'd like to talk to you, if that's alright."

"Of course. Here, come sit down."

I sat down in my usual spot next to her and tried to think of how best to begin.

"Bella, I owe you an apology. I have felt a strain between us for months now, and I hate it. But I also know that it's mostly my doing."

"Carlisle, don't," she interrupted. "Don't take the blame for something we both took part in."

"But Bella, your staying away from me was caused by my confusing you. I understand that now. It seems that sometimes it is possible to see everything except what is in front of your face..."

"Yes, I've been told the same thing," she said, smiling.

"My eyes are open now, Bella."

"What are you saying, Carlisle? I don't understand your meaning."

"I _see _you, Isabella Swan." She gasped, but I continued. "I hope that you can see inside of me as well, as you have done so well in the past few years. I hope you can understand that I still need time."

"I do see you, Carlisle. And I can be patient."

I took her tiny hand in mine, warring with myself over the desire to kiss her, but eventually staying in control.

"I hope you'll wait for me, Bella. That's my biggest hope of all," I whispered.

She stood up and placed a light kiss on my cheek. "Silly vampire," she laughed. "I'd wait for you forever. I just hope you won't make me."

April

(BPOV)

Since that discussion with Carlisle last month, I've tried to give him space and just be patient with him. I understand that this is really hard on him. It was extremely difficult for me to accept my feelings for him at first, and I was with Edward for much less time than he was with Esme.

For now I'm staying busy with my schoolwork. I only have two more terms before I leave for Scotland, and I have to say I'm more than ready for the break. Alice was right (as usual) about me wearing myself down with school. It's lucky that we get time off every two and a half months, because I think I would really burn out otherwise. I'm actually planning to take winter term off and stay in England. I talked with my advisor, and I will use that term to explore the historical side of British literature-I'll go to see Stratford, where Shakespeare is from, and see his plays performed in his original theater. I'll see where Jane Austen and the Bronte sisters came from. I think it will be very interesting and exciting for me, and then I'll write my senior thesis about the trip.

I was sitting on the tree swing outside, reading_Wuthering Heights _(for once I'm reading it for school rather than just enjoyment) when I got a surprise visit from Carlisle. We used to talk all the time, nearly every night, but with all the "space" and "time" requirements, we haven't spent much time together.

"Hello Bella." He called as he approached.

"Hi Carlisle." I set aside my book and motioned for him to join me on the swing.

"So how is school going?"

"It's good. My lit class this term is The 19th Century Novel, which is one of my favorite eras, so I am really enjoying it. And I'm on track to graduate next June with no problem even though I'm taking winter term off to stay in Engand."

"That's wonderful, Bella. I'm very proud of you. I remember how worried you were when you applied to Dartmouth about being able to handle the work here, but you have shown that you are more than up to the challenge. Look at you, graduating in three years rather than four, with what I believe is a very high grade average, from an ivy league university."

I blushed at his praise, but relished it at the same time. In truth, I was quite proud of myself.

"No need to be embarrassed, Bella. You've truly grown to be a remarkable woman."

I looked deeply into his eyes, searching for the feeling behind his words. I desperately wanted to press my lips to his, but I knew I couldn't. I had to wait for him.

"You know, I've been thinking about your changing. Are you still planning to do that after your graduation?"

"Yes, that is my intention. So that leaves us a little over a year of human Bella."

He smiled. "Yes. And at the time of your changing, assuming it occurs the summer after your graduation, you will be nearly 23 years old. My age, as it were. That presents us with a new situation."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, up until this last move, Esme and I have always played the role of adoptive parents to high school students, although there have been breaks here and there where couples went off on extended honeymoons or someone attended university. But that's been the general idea. You, dear, even now, could hardly pass for a high school student."

_Was he asking me to play the role of his wife?_

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Carlisle, but Rose and Emmett never seemed to be high school age either. I noticed that the first time I saw them in the cafeteria."

"Yes, but you, as you have proven time and time again, are much more perceptive than the average human." He smiled again, and winked at me. "At any rate, I can't see you filling the role of high school student in the future. So we'll have to come up with a new cover story for ourselves once we venture back out into the world after your newborn phase.

Is there anything about the change that you have questions or concerns about?"

"Well, there's just the basic things, you know, the mechanics of it and all, but I don't want to think about any of that until I have to. The only fear I really have about it is that I'll live for eternity, and I worry that I'll spend that eternity alone."

Carlisle put his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to him, and placed a kiss on my forehead. That same spark of electricity flew through me, and I wondered if he could feel it too.

"You'll never be alone, my dear." He whispered.

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed that. It's getting torturous to write these angsty characters! I'm glad Edward's not around, lol. So steps were made this chapter, they both finally have a bit of a clue! **

**Next chapter: A surprise visitor, one who the Cullens don't really want to see. Who????**


	13. 11 Reality Bites

**A/N: Twilight and it's characters etc belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

Chapter 11: Reality Bites

BPOV

(July)

Life had improved slightly in the last few months. There was nothing really happening yet for Carlisle and I, however, we had found our way back to normalcy somehow, and our friendship, or whatever it was, was comfortable once again.

He and I had gone to Forks together in June for the anniversary with the pack. Alice and Jasper had taken a trip together for the summer to prepare for the time they would be separated while Alice and I were in Europe, and Emmett had taken Rosalie to some car show that she had been really excited about. Part of me wondered if my siblings didn't plan it this way, but I decided not to complain.

While we were in Forks, alone, together, there was quite a bit of time available for talking. And we talked a lot. Mostly we just chatted about everyday things, books, school, old stories... But we had several much deeper, more important conversations as well. He admitted to me that he was having trouble reconciling his love for Esme with the idea of making a life with someone else, but that he hoped he would be able to do so. He never once mentioned me directly, but I was certain that I was the one he wanted to make a life with. We talked alot about Esme and Edward, what we missed most about each of them. We even discussed my changing in more detail than ever before.

One day, while he was out hunting, I went to the meadow to "talk" to Edward. I appologized to him for my feelings for Carlisle, and begged him to understand. I promised him that he would always be in my heart. I would never forget him, I knew that. As I laid in the grass that afternoon, trying to bathe myself in the essence of Edward like I had in the past, I felt a sense of peace wash over me, almost as if Jasper was there. In that moment, I remembered the words of Edward's letter: _Find love again....I would be happy knowing you are happy. _"Thank you, Edward. I love you," I whispered to the air around me, suddenly sure he could hear me.

I could only hope that, one day, such a moment would rescue Carlisle from _his _guilt.

Carlisle, Emmett, Rosalie and I were sitting in the living room watching a movie one evening after we returned to New Hampshire when there was a knock at the door. We were all quite surprised, as no one was expecting any packages and humans didn't usually venture this far out otherwise. Emmett and Carlisle told us to wait on the couch and went to open the door.

To say that I was horrified by the person who stood on the other side of the door would have been a gross understatement. There on the doorstep, wearing a black suit, smiling at Carlisle, was none other than Aro, one of the three leaders of the Volturi. I gasped and grabbed Rose's arm, panicked.

"It's ok, sis. Just stay behind me. We won't let him hurt you, I promise."

I nodded my head against her back, still much too frightened to speak. I wanted to be strong, for my family. I didn't want any more of them to be sacrificed in my place. But the terror had frozen me in place. Usually my brushes with vampire death came with some time to prepare. Now, with no warning, it was quite literally at the front door.

Carlisle welcomed Aro in (there really wasn't much option) and offered him a seat, which Aro accepted gracefully. I looked up at his creepy, milky red eyes and onion-like skin, wondering what was in store for me.

"Well, Aro, it's certainly a surprise to see you here. To what do we owe this unexpected visit?" Carlisle was very gracious, but I could see the tension in his stance.

"Ah, Carlisle, my old friend, I was taking care of a little business here on the continent, and I thought that I would stop in to say hello. It has been too long since we have seen each other, has it not?"

"Yes, Aro, it has been many many years indeed. Allow me to introduce my children, Rosalie and Emmett. I'm afraid you've missed Alice and Jasper, as they are off on a vacation for the summer. And, of course, you remember Bella."

"Ah, yes, young Bella. You are as beautiful as the last time I saw you, though I see you have matured since then."

I knew he was indirectly commenting on my humanity in this statement, and while his voice remained as friendly sounding as ever, I found it threatening.

"But Carlisle, you did not mention your wife. Where is the lovely Esme this evening?"

Carlisle's smile faltered, and he dropped his head down. Emmett, who was sitting on the coffee table next to where Carlisle stood, reached his hand up to Carlisle's shoulder in an attempt to comfort him.

"Our mother died in the battle with Victoria's newborn army in Washington three years ago, Aro. It is still difficult for Carlisle to discuss." Emmett answered.

"Oh, Carlisle, forgive me. I was unaware that you sustained loss further than Edward. And please, allow me to extend my deepest sympathy for that loss to all of you, especially you, young Bella. It is extremely difficult to lose one's mate, as I have witnessed with my brother Marcus. The two of you, however, seem to have managed fairly well."

"It hasn't been easy, Aro. But we are lucky to have family to help us through hard times. Without them, surely neither of us would have survived this." Carlisle answered.

"Young Bella, why do you hide so? I mean you no harm, I assure you. Please, come sit down and talk to me. You have always intrigued me so." I moved out from behind Rosalie and sat on the side of the couch closer to Aro. Emmett was still closer to him than I, and Rosalie was next to me, not releasing my hand. When I sat, Aro took my other hand in his, raising it to his lips to kiss it.

"So interesting," he mused as he released my hand. "Still as silent as ever. Tell me, young Bella, without your Edward, have your future plans changed?"

Once again, I heard a veiled threat in his question. I knew what he was asking, but was trying still to avoid the issue of my death.

"Well, in some ways yes. I mean, the man I was in love with and engaged to was murdered, so I am no longer planning on becoming Mrs. Edward Cullen, lovely as though it would have been."

Aro laughed heartily at my response. "Ah, Carlisle, it is no wonder your family keeps her around. She is such a wonder, so full of surprises."

"We do not 'keep her around', as you say, Aro," Carlisle said through gritten teeth. "She is not a pet to us. Do you not see the necklace that she wears? She is a member of this family."

"I meant no harm in the comment, dear friend. Please, forgive me if I was offensive. I only meant to say that I can understand your family's fascination with her, why you welcomed her in so easily. She is such a beautiful and intriguing creature."

"Yes, she is, Aro," Carlisle's jaw may have loosened, but there was still venom in his voice.

Finally, I couldn't take the anticipation any more. "Aro, I know why you are here. So can we skip the pleasantries and get on to the part where you decide to kill me? Honestly, I don't think I can take the suspense much longer."

He laughed again, this time harder than the last. "Bella, Bella, I told you already that I mean you no harm. I am not the monster that you percieve me to be. Honestly, I came here for the sole purpose of visiting my old friend. You see that I did not bring any further guard members with me, not even my own personal guard, Renata. I have told no one of this visit, nor do I plan to. I will warn you, though, since you brought up the subject, that Caius has _not_ forgotten, nor will he. I cannot tell you when he will decide to come to you, but I guarantee you that it will happen. And, if he finds you as I do today, still human, he will not be so pleasant about it as I."

"I'm sorry, Aro, I didn't mean to accuse. It's just that, well, usually any vampire who sees me and isn't a Cullen wants to kill me. It's just something I've come to expect. Plus, I know that we gave our word."

"Is it still your intention to keep your word, Young Bella?"

"Yes, Aro. The only reason for the postponing of my changing was Edward's death. He had always wished for me to experience college as a human, and I decided to do so before I was changed, as a gift to him. I will graduate next June, and will be changed then."

"Is there any chance, my dear, now that you have lost your mate, that you would consider joining our family once you have been changed?"

"Thank you for the offer, Aro, but I already have a family."

Carlisle and my siblings grinned at me proudly. Carlisle reached over and squeezed my hand, then raised his own to Aro, I assumed to verify my story with his memories. Aro watched for a few moments, and just by watching the expressions on his face, I almost felt like I could see it with him. Suddenly, he laughed, and pulled his hand away.

"Like father, like son, eh Carlisle? Ah, my old friend, your family certainly is special among our kind. And you never fail to put a smile on my face. Thank you for sharing that with me, it was most interesting."

I had no idea what he meant by all of this, but he was happy, and I took that as a good sign.

"Well, dear friends, it has been an enjoyable visit, but I really must go. I told my fellow travelers that I was just going for a short hunt, in order to disguise my visit to you, and if I take much longer, they will surely send Demitri to find me. That would not bode well for Young Bella, here, so I will take my leave of you now. Please, Carlisle, inform us of the change when it occurs. It will save all of us the hassle of another surprise visit."

Carlisle stood and walked him out. I threw my arms around Rosalie, sobbing in relief.

"What's wrong, Bella?" She asked me.

"I'm sorry Rose. I just had to let it out. I was so scared!"

Emmett laughed loudly. "You sure could have fooled me, little sister!"

**A/N: Hope you liked the surprise visit. I know we usually think of Aro as a bad guy, but he acted as he did out of his love for Carlisle. In Italy, Edward had provoked the Volturi. While Aro's obvious desire to have Bella join them is still there, he isn't evil. Caius, on the other hand...**

**Next chapter: Say good-bye to Alice and Bella, they're heading off to the UK. How will that affect the budding... Well, the hopefulness... of Carlisle and Bella?**


	14. 12 Fly Away and Discover

**A/N: Twilight belongs to S. Meyer (lucky her). **

**Hope you are still enjoying. Feel free to ask questions and review. I'm churning this out as quickly as I can for you. =)**

Chapter 12: Fly Away and Discover

(September)

(BPOV)

Alice and I left for Scotland last night. We've had our bags packed for weeks and were practically bouncing around the house all morning before leaving for the airport. Apparently, this has long been a dream of Alice's - not Scotland in particular, just to do a study abroad like a regular human. I was looking forward to the chance to explore somewhere new, somewhere different from everything I've known in my life.

As excited as we were, though, I think we both may have forgotten the part where we had to say good-bye to our family. It wasn't easy. I lost count of how many lectures we sat through about safety (mostly mine) and not forgetting to check in often. And that was just from Emmett! I think he's a bit nervous about his two "baby sisters" being off on their own where he can't protect them. Honestly, I would not be the littlest bit surprised to find him and Jasper hiding in the bushes surrounding our dorm when we arrive. I was worried that Rosalie would feel left out that just Alice and I were going, but she had once again declined our offers for her to join us. She maintained that the men could not be left alone to their own devices, or we'd come home to rubble rather than a house. Emmett took the opportunity at that point to suggest to Rose that the two of them could bring the house down on their own, and Alice and I decided that was our cue to leave for the airport.

Carlisle and Jasper drove us to Logan International to see us off at the International Terminal's entrance. Jasper and Alice walked a bit away from us to say good-bye privately, and Carlisle and I found ourselves alone. Well, as alone as two people can be in the middle of a busy airport.

"Please take care of yourself, Bella." He said softly.

"I will, don't worry. And I'll have Alice to look out for me too," I reassured.

"I'll miss you, very much," he said, nearly whispering. I noticed how close he was to me.

I rested my hand on his arm. "I'll miss you as well, but we'll have the phone, right?"

"Of course. Enjoy your studies, but make sure to have fun too. It's a beautiful country, and there will be plenty for you to see."

"I will, don't worry," I said, smiling. He looked so sweet at that moment, as if he was unsure of himself.

"Just come back to me when you're done," he whispered, cupping my cheek in his hand.

I was desperate to kiss him, but knew it was the wrong time. I didn't want to do that right before I left for several months. Instead, I leaned into him, resting my head on his shoulder and encircling his waist with my arms.

"I will. Try to be ready for me, alright?"

He kissed the top of my head and agreed. Then Alice told me it was time to go. With one last wave good-bye, we walked towards our gate.

We arrived at the University of Glasgow last night and settled into our dorm room. It is quite small, actually, definately not the type of living we are used to, but I think it will be fun for one term. At least we have our own bathroom. I've heard that many dorms have community showers, the thought of which rather terrifies me. Alice managed to unpack all of our things while I was sleeping, and we still had a few days before classes start, so now that morning has arrived, we are free to go out and explore the campus.

Alice dragged me out of bed bright and early and we made the short walk to the campus. I couldn't believe my eyes when it appeared before me-it was beautiful! The main building was an enormous gothic structure that looked like a cross between a cathedral and a castle. The building was a huge square, with a courtyard in the middle. Both of our classes (Jacobean Literature and James Joyce) will be in this building, but we still walked around to see the rest of the campus, which was much more modern, before heading into town.

Alice was thrilled when we got into town and saw all of the options for shopping and clubbing, but at that particular time, I was a bit more excited about the possibilites for lunch. After I was sated, I was thrilled to see all the museums that were available, and made Alice promise that on the weekends, when she got back from hunting, we could visit them. She agreed, on the condition that we also visit the shops, of course.

I was so excited that I was going to share this experience with my sister. The two of us would do our schoolwork, but also take the time to really enjoy our surroundings. Not to mention it was time for just the two of us to bond even more. I was definitely looking forward to it.

As excited as I was to be here, however, my first time in a foreign country (excluding my horrendous visit to Italy a few years back), I was already missing home. Rather, I was already missing Carlisle.

(CPOV)

A few minutes after watching Bella and Alice walk down the terminal to their gate, I turned to Jasper to let him know that I, too, was leaving on a flight that evening. I was going to Forks. I had decided upon this about a month ago. I knew that I needed to find a way to make my peace with my feelings, and I couldn't think of anywhere better to do it than in the last place I lived with Esme.

I arrived at the white house and went inside. We had left most of the furniture when we moved to New Hampshire, so the house still looked relatively the same as always, though the personal touches were missing. I went to the bedroom I had shared with Esme and sat down on the floor. There were two questions in my mind that needed answering. First, was it a betrayal of Esme to love another woman? Second, did I _love_ Bella? I refused to take any steps with Bella unless I had these answers.

I sat in the bedroom for awhile, sifting through my thoughts, but I found no peace in that room. I needed to find Esme. Somewhere in Forks there must be some remnant of her... But where to look? Finally, it came to me, and I took off through the front door at a full sprint.

About twenty minutes later I was sitting in a small clearing on the Hoh River Traverse backpacking trail. It was a place Esme and I had gone together often on evenings away from the family. We had come up here many winter afternoons to watch the sunset over the water. It was a place I'd never been without my wife. I was sure I could "find" her here.

I sat there for an unknown period of time, silently watching the changes in the sky, hoping for some sort of sign. Suddenly, my body stiffened at the recognition of a scent I had never forgotten: roses, fresh rain, and butterscotch. Esme. I felt the breeze blow over my cold skin, seeming to caress me. In the next second, a new breeze came from the opposite direction. This one carried the scent of freesia and strawberries - Bella. The two winds swirled around me, as if in a dance, not moving on. I closed my eyes and let them hold me there, thinking of nothing but the beautiful scent of the two combining. Then, quite clearly, the sound of tinkling bells filled my ears - it was Esme's voice.

_"Let yourself be happy, darling, for me." _

Then, without warning, the heaven that surrounded me for those fleeting moments vanished, and I found myself once again alone in the clearing, staring at the sky. The wind had passed, taking the scents it carried away from me. But I was left feeling peace, for the first time in three years.

I lay there for three days, the peaceful feeling never deserting me, the breeze never returning. Finally, I stood up and walked into the forest in search of deer. I found two, sated myself, and then ran to Sea-Tac. I had no need to return to Forks. I was ready to go home.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed that. Carlisle found his peace, FINALLY! He still has to answer question #2, but the harder part is done. **


	15. 13 Denali Disaster

**A/N: Twilight still belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I only dream of possessing Carlisle.**

**Hope you are still enjoying the story. High drama coming your way now! Enjoy and review!**

Chapter 13: Denali Disaster

(October)

(CPOV)

Bella and Alice had been gone for six weeks already. Six long weeks. Time seemed to have slowed down considerably since they left. There were not enough diversions to fill my hours. Truly, I missed sitting down in the evenings to chat with Bella. I missed her humor and her blush. I missed her easy smile and her warm touch. Oh hell, I missed Bella. I couldn't believe she wouldn't be home until March. That seemed so far away.

I decided that I had to escape the house I shared with Bella if I wanted any peace from her, so I called Eleazar in Denali and asked if he was available for company. He of course told me I was welcome, so I packed a bag and boarded a plane the next morning.

It wasn't until I arrived at the home of the Denali clan that I realized that there were some things that I failed to consider when making my plans to come here. Those things were Tanya, Irina, and Kate. The three sisters were actually the basis for the succubus myth, and loved nothing more than to seduce men, human or vampire. I was really not in need of their...skills...at the moment, nor had I ever been since I met them two hundred years ago. That simple fact, however, did not stop them then, nor did I expect it to now. The only thing that had ever stopped them, in fact, was Esme. I could only hope that their love and respect for her would stave off any hopes they may have had regarding me now.

Eleazar greeted me warmly when I arrived. His wife Carmen and the sisters were out on a hunt for another two days, luckily, so I'd have a chance to talk with Eleazar before I had to see them. He gestured for me to take a seat in the living room, and then sat opposite me.

"I'm sure that you came with a desire for conversation, old friend. Why don't we talk now, while the house is free of other ears?"

"Oh, Eleazar, you know me too well. I did want to talk. You remember the phone call I made to you on Halloween two years ago?"

"Of course. How have things progressed since then?"

"Well, they haven't exactly. It's taken me a long time to understand and accept that I have feelings regarding Bella, and even longer to realize that there's nothing wrong with having such feelings. For so long I thought it was only sexual need fueling my desire, but I've come to realize recently that I what I feel for her is much deeper. I was holding on so desperately to Esme, fearing, despite what both you and Jasper told me, that loving anyone else would be disrespectful to her. Truly, I have hated myself much of these past two years for feeling desirious of another woman. And it was perhaps my own feelings toward myself that blinded me from Bella's feelings - I was so sure that she could never love me that I was oblivious to the fact that she already did! Finally, my own internal battle affected Bella so much that she left for six months to study overseas, just to get away from me."

"Now, Carlisle, I seriously doubt that was her only reason, if it was any part of her reasoning at all. Bella has a better head on her shoulders than that, I believe. Actually, I'm shocked that she left - she seemed to have nearly a physical dependancy on you and the children when I met her. I'm surprised that she would go somewhere else alone."

I hung my head and sighed. "Oh, she's not alone - Alice went with her. And I _am_ a part of the reason she is gone - she told Jasper as much. Apparantly I was sending her mixed signals so often that she couldn't take it anymore. At any rate, she's gone now, and I find that I miss her terribly. The days pass so slowly, it seems that March will never come. Truly, I don't know what to do with myself without her."

"My dear friend, you are in love," Eleazar proclaimed with a grin.

"Am I?" I looked at him with my eyebrow raised, challenging his assertion.

"Of course you are, Carlisle. You just flew all the way across the country to tell me that you miss her! You feel as if your whole world is off kilter since she left. You don't only miss looking at her body, correct?"

"No. Although truly, I do miss it. But that's not all. I miss _her._"

"Old friend, I am happy for you. You have found love again. Your eternity will not be a baren wasteland after all! Esme would be so pleased to know this, Carlisle. But may I give you one bit of advice? Do not delay much longer. If you have given her so much reason to question you, you cannot be certain that she will continue to have patience."

"You're right, Eleazar. Thank you. You have opened my eyes tonight. Now, I've had long travels. Would you care to join me for a hunt?"

"Of course. _Vamanos!"_

The next afternoon when we returned, we found that the women had already arrived. I greeted them all pleasantly before going to my room to clean up form the hunt. I considered calling Bella, but the time difference assured me that she should be sleeping, so I returned to the living room to spend time with my hosts.

By the end of my first week in Denali, it was apparant that Irina was interested in me. I was doing my best to ignore her flirting completely, in hopes that she would just drop it. Instead, her innuendos became more obvious and her touches more pronouced. She had taken to calling me "Carlie", which I thought was absolutely atrocious. I requested that she used my full name, but my request seemed to go unnoticed. I prayed that she would go hunting with her sisters again so that I might find some peace, but my prayers went unanswered. I desperately missed Bella and wanted to call her, but I didn't dare while Irina was present.

Two days into my second week in Denali, Irina decided to further intensify her efforts with me. It was on this day that she gave up on innuendos and started making her comments quite blatant. Her touches became less innocent as well. That morning, she sat next to me on the couch and rested her hand on my thigh - I quickly asked Eleazar to join me for a quick hunt simply for an excuse to leave her presence. The problem with these women is that they are not used to taking no for an answer, and very rarely accept it. Tanya was a perfect example - she spent nearly seventy years chasing after Edward, with not one positive response to her efforts. I doubt she would have given up if he had not been killed.

The next day, still undeterred by my obvious disinterest, Irina surprised me in the hallway and pinned me against the wall. She pressed her body into mine and leaned in closely to whisper in my ear.

"I know it's been a long time for you, Carlie. Let me welcome you back into the world of love. I promise you'll enjoy yourself."

I thanked her politely for the offer and slid down the wall and under her arm, and then proceeded to run out the back door of the house. I decided that enough was enough and called the airlines to arrange my flight back for the next morning.

When I returned to the house, I found Eleazar and Carmen sitting together on the sofa, with Eleazar playing an old Spanish song on his guitar for her. I let him know that I would be leaving the next day, and he gave me an understanding smile and Carmen laughed.

"I understand, old friend. These women can be a lot to take."

I smiled, and then sat opposite them so that I could enjoy his music.

Moments later, my cell phone rang. I looked to the display and was thrilled to see that the call was originating from Bella and Alice's dormitory. Eleazar smirked at me, my face had obviously given it all away.

"Hello?" I said.

"Carlisle? Hi, it's Bella."

I grinned.

"Bella, it's nice to hear from you, how are you? Are you enjoying your classes?"

"I'm good. School is going well. I really enjoy my classes, although I have to admit the professor can be a bit difficult to understand...most of the people here are, actually. I like the accent, but between that and the unusual slang, combined with the speed of their speech....well, it's not easy, that's for sure!"

I laughed. I understood what she meant, having spent quite a few years in Scotland myself.

"What have you done lately besides your schoolwork?" I asked, eager to hear more of her sweet voice.

"Alice and I went to the Gallery of Modern Art today. It was so amazing Carlisle! I never thought I'd see those paintings in person before! And, of course, we went shopping afterwards. Alice found us dresses that we apparently_ had_ to have, though she hasn't yet told me _why._"

I laughed. That was the Alice we all knew and loved.

"So what have you been up to?"

"Oh, not much. I took a few days off from the hospital and flew to Alaska to visit the Denalis. I've been here just over a week."

Suddenly, the worst thing that could possibly happen came to be: Irina walked into the room, and sat on the arm of my chair.

"Carlie," she cooed. "Why don't you and I go out for an overnight hunt tonight? The northern lights are visible now, and there's nothing like making love underneath that beautiful sky."

I had tried to scoot away, and desperately tried to cover the mouthpiece on my phone, but to no avail. Bella had heard every word.

"Irina, you'll have to excuse me. I am on the phone. Bella? Are you still there, Bella?"

"Yes," she seethed. "I'm here. But I'll let you go now, Carlie. I wouldn't want to keep you from your 'distractions'!"

And with that, she hung up on me. I immediately called her back, but the call went unanswered. I glared at Irina.

"Irina, you have always been a friend, so I have been only a gentleman up until this point. But let me make it very clear to you, right now. I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOU. I will not have physical relations of any kind with you, and I would greatly appreciate it if you would desist in your efforts to convince me otherwise."

I stormed off to my room to pack, distressed by the scene that had just passed. Never before had I spoken so rudely to a woman, and I felt guilty about it. However, I felt even worse about what had occurred with Bella. I did not fail to notice her choice of words. When Edward left Bella after her eighteenth birthday, he told her that he might not forget her, but that vampires could be easily distracted. She understood him to mean that he would just replace thoughts of her with other women. Her use of the word now showed me how truly angry and hurt she was, and I was desperate to tell her the truth. I tried calling the room several more times, but still the phone was not answered. I vowed to keep trying until she agreed to speak to me.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed that bit of drama. Did you expect anything less of one of the Denali sisters? Bella obviously did not take it well... **

**Next up: The repercussions of the Irina mess. **


	16. 14 Fallout

**A/N: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I am just torturing her characters.**

**Ok, this chapter is showing how everyone reacts to the Denali Disaster. Irina created quite the mess. Multiple POVS in this chapter, including some we haven't heard from before. Hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think please!**

**PS, just a warning, rough language in this chapter.**

Chapter 14: Fallout

(November)

(RPOV)

I had been trying to call Alice and Bella for days, but they never answered the phone. Carlisle had come back from Denali and gone up to his study, and we hadn't seen him since. I had no idea what was going on, but I was starting to worry. I don't like to see my family sad - we've spent too much time in the last few years feeling that way, and I was enjoying the break up until now.

I tried one more time to call, this time on Alice's cell phone. Finally! She answered.

"Hey Rose, what's up?" She asked, sounding completely normal and Alice-like.

"What do you mean, what's up? Where the hell are you?"

"I'm on my way back to campus from hunting. Why?"

"I've been trying to call your dorm for three days now, and no one will answer! I was afraid something happened to you and Bella! I was just about to call the airlines for a ticket to Scotland!"

"Rose, stop shrieking. We are fine...physically, at least. Bella isn't answering the phone because she doesn't want to talk to Carlisle, so unless you call my cell, it's just going to keep ringing at the dorm. I don't See her changing her mind any time soon."

"Why won't she answer his calls? What happened? I thought it was getting close?!" I was very upset now. Ever since we sent Dad and Bella to Forks alone, they seemed to have been making progress. Not much, but progress all the same. We were all starting to have hope.

"Bella called him while he was in Denali. I don't know what really happened in Alaska, but from Bella's end of the conversation, it appears that Carlisle and Irina may have gotten involved while he was there. Bella's pretty angry and hurt."

"I'm going to kick his ass! What on earth was he thinking? I know they are our cousins and all, but really? I expected much more from Carlisle!"

"Like I said, I don't know his end."

"You didn't have any visions?"

"I had several, but most of them involved naked Carlisle, so I started blocking them out. But that doesn't mean he did anything, it could have just been Irina's wishful thinking."

"We'd better hope so. Listen, you take care of Bella. I'll deal with everything on this end."

She agreed, and we hung up. I took a moment to calm myself so that I could approach Carlisle without ripping his dick off, and then walked downstairs to his study, banging on the door. He could lock the door all he wanted, I'd just rip it off the hinges. Either way, he was going to listen to what I had to say!

As it turned out, it only took the threat of breaking down the door to get Carlisle to open it, rather than the actual act. That was good, as I really didn't want to waste time fixing it later. After he opened the door, he walked back over to one of the overstuffed armchairs by his desk and sat silently, not taking his eyes off the floor. He certainly didn't look like a vampire who had just gotten laid after a three year long dry spell. In fact, he looked like hell.

"Dad," I said, thinking a softer start might be warranted. "What's going on?"

He didn't answer. Nothing. He didn't even look up at me to acknowledge that I spoke.

"Carlisle! You can hear me, right?"

He nodded. I supposed that was an improvement.

"Ok, well listen then, if you aren't going to talk. I talked to Alice, and it seems that you made my baby sister very upset by fucking around in Alaska. You wanna explain that to me?"

"I didn't." He whispered.

"You didn't what?"

"I didn't do anything with Irina." He said, his voice emotionless.

"Then why does Bella think you did, and why did Alice have visions of it?" I wasn't letting him off the hook that easily.

"Irina tried. Constantly. I spent half my trip hunting just to stay away from her. She got more and more brazen in her attempts the longer I was there. She was determined to take me to bed. That must have been the cause of Alice's vision. Bella overheard her propositioning me on the phone and became angry." He was pleading with me, begging me to believe him.

"Didn't you explain that to her?"

"She wouldn't let me. She hung up and has refused to answer the phone since. I tried calling on Alice's phone, but Bella simply ended the call when Alice gave her the phone. I don't know what to do, Rosalie. This is a misunderstanding, but how can I convince her of that if she won't speak to me?"

He finally looked up at me then, and I could see the hopelessness in his eyes. He was desperate for help here.

"You're really hurting, aren't you?" I asked, resting my hand on his shoulder.

"Yes."

"It'll be okay, Dad. We'll find a way to fix this, you'll see." I put my arms around him and just held him for awhile, trying to reassure him. I _would _find a way to help him. To help them.

The next evening, my flight landed in Anchorage and I drove my rental to the Denali's compound. These women may be our cousins, but they are also brazen hussies, and I was sick and tired of sitting around while they throw themselves at my family members without invitation. Edward put up with this crap for years from Tanya, and I wasn't going to have Irina come in and ruin everything for Carlisle. He and Bella have hurt enough, and they deserve their chance to be happy like me and Emmett.

I may not have liked Bella all that much in the early days, but she really has become a sister to me. At first it was just me fulfilling my obligations. Edward and Esme both asked me to take care of her, so I did. When I saw how much losing my brother and Esme hurt her, I realized that she wasn't just some human. Somehow, that led to me letting down my guard with her, and I realized how special she really is. I still wish she didn't have to become a vampire, just because I think she deserves all the things we can't have, but I understand that it's the only way for her.

Carmen greeted me at the door, surprised by my visit.

"Hi Auntie," I said, hugging her. Carmen has always been the Esme of the Denali clan.

"Rosalie, how nice to see you. Is Emmett with you as well?"

"No, no, it's just me. I came to have a talk with my cousins, if that's alright."

She laughed. "You know, the telephone is a convenient option for talking as well, Rose."

I shook my head. "Some things need to be said in person, Auntie."

She nodded and led me inside.

Walking into the large living room, I found the rest of the family watching a movie. I sat with them and waited. When the movie ended, Tanya turned to me.

"Rosalie, it's good to see you. Where is the rest of the family?"

"Alice and Bella are in Scotland, everyone else is home. They don't know that I'm here."

"Why are you here, exactly?" Irina asked.

"I'm here to address an issue I have with your behavior, dear cousins." They looked skeptically at me. "It has come to my attention, Irina, that you caused a lot of trouble for my father while he was here visiting. He did not appreciate it, nor do I. This may come as quite the shock to you, but not every man on this planet wants to fuck you!"

All three of the sisters gasped. I wasn't sure if it was shock at my words, or just the fact that I had said them.

"How dare you!" Screamed Irina.

"No! How dare _you_! Haven't you ever heard that no means no? Don't you have any self-respect?"

"You come into our home and speak to us like this?" Tanya demanded.

"Tanya, you are no better than Irina! It was seventy years that I watched you molest my brother despite his firm requests that you stop! Really, I know that there are plenty of men who are thrilled to sleep with you, so why not enjoy them rather than harass the Cullen men? Why do you lower yourselves so?"

"Why does it bother you, cousin?" Kate asked, not raising her voice.

"It bothers me because I love Carlisle, and I loved Edward. Neither appreciated your behavior. But this time, it's worse than it was with Edward, because this time you hurt Carlisle."

"I did no such thing!" Irina yelled.

"You did. Your proposition was overheard, and caused a rift between two people who held great affection for each other. Two people who had a future before you stepped between them!"

"First, cousin," she sneered. "I knew not of any prior engagement between Carlisle and another woman. Second, the only ones who overheard me were those who live in this house, and Bella, who he was on the phone with."

"Bella?" Tanya asked. "He's in love with Edward's mate?" She laughed snottily.

"Yes, Bella, although she is no longer Edward's, as he is dead."

"What is wrong with the men in your family that they cannot resist this human?" Irina demanded. "First Edward was lost to her, and then Laurent died because of her pull. Now Carlisle?"

"Bitch! Nothing is wrong with my family. They simply see her for the amazing creature that she is, and I will not have you speak ill of my sister!"

"Sister? I remember when you thought much less of the human," Tanya sneered.

"Yes, that's true. But my eyes are open now. She _is_ my sister, and you will respect her as such! And you, Irina, will respect Carlisle's decision and control yourself around him. If you cannot, you are no longer welcome in our home."

With all that said, I turned and marched back toward the front door. I left the sisters sitting on the sofa with their mouths gaping open, but was followed by Carmen and Eleazar. As they said good-bye to me at the door, they asked me to relay their apologies to Carlisle when I returned home. Eleazar took my hand in his, and leaned down to kiss it.

"Good-bye, uncle. I'm sorry that I was so rude in your house, but I won't stand for anyone hurting my family, not again."

"Think nothing of it. Esme would have been proud of you tonight, Rosalie," he said. "I know I am."

(EmPOV)

It was late afternoon when I asked Jasper to go hunting with me. It had been awhile since we'd gone for any big game, and I was hungry for some angry bear. Not to mention I was desperate to get out of the house for awhile... There's only so much moping a vampire can take, and after two weeks, Carlisle is pushing my limits.

When he first got home from Denali, he shut himself in his office for three days straight and wouldn't speak to anyone. My Rosie finally got the scoop from Alice about what happened, and went Ice Bitch on Carlisle and the Denali sisters. Believe me, Rosie in Ice Bitch mode is terrifying - it's something in her eyes. You don't want to be on the other end of that! So Carlisle turned out to be innocent in this mess, but Bella was angry and hurt and wouldn't let him explain. I tried to help out by calling her and telling her what happened myself, but now she won't answer my calls either. Women...

Anyway, Jasper and I drove up to the mountains and sniffed ourselves out some grizzlies. We had to poke them quite a bit to wake them up from their hibernation, but once we did, it was worth it. Let's just say there is no right side of the bed for a hibernating grizzy to wake up on... We drank our fill and then found a nice spot to relax afterwards.

We sat for a few minutes, enjoying the quiet before I spoke up.

"Listen brother, we've got to do something. I know Alice said that we shouldn't get in the middle and all, but Dad and Bella are getting nowhere on their own. Especially now that our slutty cousin in Alaska went and royally pissed her off."

"I know, Emmett, believe me. I've been buried in Carlisle's emotional hell with him for the last two weeks! And at this point, I'd do anything to get out of it. And anyways, it wouldn't be the first time I interfered."

"What? Does Alice know that?!" Pissed off pixie is almost as scary as angry Rosie.

"She's Alice, of course she knows. She helped, actually."

"Man, you guys left us out of the plan?"

"Sorry brother, it was really just a matter of sittin' down for a good ole vampire heart-to-heart... Not really your style."

True. We both laughed at that.

"Ok, well this time we've got a situation that _is _my style. After all, do you know anyone on this Earth, vampire or human, who knows more about dealing with a pissed off woman than me?"

I winked at my brother and we both fell onto our backs, grabbing our stomachs and laughing hard.

"You do have a point there, Em. So, master groveler, what do we do?"

"Well, with Rosalie, when I mess up, it takes a big gesture to fix it up. Usually a big price tag too... Like jewelry or a trip, or something else I know she wants. But Bella isn't like Rosie. Bells doesn't care about that kind of stuff. The big gesture is still needed, though. She won't answer the phone. No matter how long he keeps calling, the girl is pissed and she's not backing down."

"So what's the big gesture?"

"He's gotta show up, man. It's the only way. Sure, she could slam the door in his face. But if she does, he can just talk through the door. He can't give up. If he wants to fix this, that's the only way. It's the big gesture."

"What can I say, Em? I bow to the master."

"That's right, and don't you forget it."

We messed around for awhile, wrestling with each other in the fresh snow, before deciding to head back home. I'm always in the mood to see Rosie after a good fight with a bear, if you know what I mean. We were riding in the jeep and I looked over at my brother.

"Remember when you first started living as a vegetarian?" I asked.

"Yeah, that was hell... It was so hard denying the thirst in the beginning."

"I was thinking about that. It compares pretty well with trying to get Carlisle and Bella to find their way, don't you think?"

"No, man. Becoming a vegetarian was much easier!"

We laughed, and then turned up the volume to sing along with the radio.

(BPOV)

I was furious when I hung up on Carlisle. That man had strung me along for ten months, hinting to me that there was a future for us as soon as his heart was healed. Apparently, it had healed since I left for Glasgow. _Apparently_, all it took was a sex-crazed sucubus to make him feel better. If that's what he wanted, he was welcome to it. If he could be distracted, so could I, dammit!

The night of the call, I went to All Bar One, the pub down the street from our dorm. I went there often for dinner, and by now had gotten to know much of the staff. Gavin, my usual waiter, came over to my table. He was a great looking local boy with dark chocolate hair that hung to his shoulders, deep brown eyes, and an ever-present five o'clock shadow. He flirted with me every time I came in to the pub, but I always assumed that he was just angling for better tips, so I didn't pay much attention. In my anger that night, however, I decided to flirt back. I never thought of myself as being very flirty, but I must have done something right, because he asked me on a date for Friday night, which I readily accepted.

Alice wasn't thrilled that I was going, but helped me get ready anyways, dressing me in skinny jeans and a fuschia halter with a black shrug over it. Gavin took me to King Tut's Wah Wah Hut, which is a great club where local bands perform. We had a great time listening to the band, a group of 4 guys calling themselves Tartan. At the end of the night, he walked me back to my dorm and I could tell he wanted to kiss me. In all honesty, he was an extremely sexy man, and any girl in her right mind would want to kiss him too. But I was not in my right mind, and all I could think of was that he was not Carlisle. So I hugged him and thanked him for a great night.

I must have been putting off some kind of signals, because the following Monday in my James Joyce class, I was asked for a date by Camron, the boy who sat next to me. He was another local, this time with short blond hair, striking blue eyes, and a strong square jaw. He was, according to several of my female classmates, the sexiest English Lit major on campus, and I didn't doubt the truth of that opinion. I accepted the date eagerly. Surely Camron could get my mind off of a certain blond back in New Hampshire.

Once again, Alice gave me disapproving looks as she helped me dress for my date, this time wearing a dark purple faux-wrap dress and black boots. As I was preparing my purse, she handed me a stack of post-it-notes, letting me know I had messages. I looked at the first two before realizing they were all from Carlisle, and proceeded to drop the entire stack in the garbage.

Camron took me to The Arches for dinner and a fabulous cabaret show. Afterwards, he walked me home, holding my hand. We stood outside my dorm, and he leaned in to kiss me goodnight. As he did, I reached my hands up to run them through his hair. That's when I realized that the hair I _wanted_ to touch was longer and more golden than this. This was all wrong. I turned my face to the side so that his kiss landed on my cheek, and then thanked him for the nice evening.

On Sunday of the same weekend, I convinced Alice to return to the Gallery of Modern Art. While we were taking in the surrealist ink drawings of Rob Churm, a deep voice with a Spanish accent spoke softly near my ear.

"It's incredible, don't you think?"

I was inclined to agree. I turned to look at the man who had addressed me, and found a tall, dark, handsome and well-dressed Spaniard. Chatting with him, I learned that his name was Rafael and he had come to Glasgow to attend the University two years ago. He asked if I would like to join him on Saturday night at a local dance club, and I accepted the offer while ignoring the glares that Alice was shooting my way.

Rafael and I danced for hours at The Tunnel, but handsome as he was, I knew that he was not the man I wanted to be dancing with. Later that night, when he walked me home, he asked if he might take me out again the next weekend, but I declined, saying I was behind on my reading, and thanked him for a nice evening.

A few days later, in my Jacobean Theater class, I was approached by Malcom, a fellow classmate, who wanted to take me to dinner. I declined. Distractions were not really working for me.

I returned to the dorm after class and laid down on my bed. Once again, there was a stack of messages from Carlisle. Once again, I threw them in the garbage. I couldn't talk to him. I didn't want to know how well distractions had worked for him. I couldn't face the fact that I wasn't enough. I wasn't ready to believe that he wasn't mine. He had asked me to come home to him, but when I returned to Hanover, he wouldn't be alone.

Oh god, will Irina be there now? I'm not sure I can handle seeing them together day in and day out. I suppose I should be happy for him, that he's found happiness again, but I'm just too sad to get there yet.

"Bella!" Alice yelled. I looked up at her from my bed, which is the only place I've really been besides class all week. Distractions didn't work, and while I can't say that crying has really helped, it was the only thing I felt like doing. Alice had long since given up on trying to talk to me about Carlisle. She knew I wouldn't.

"What Alice?"

"Bella, honey, please get out of bed. It's the weekend, let's go to the art gallery or something. You can't just mope forever."

"Yes I can."

"Bella! We are in Scotland! We aren't going to be here much longer. You have to snap out of this and enjoy the time we have left here! I know you're hurt, Bella, but I promise you, everything is going to be okay. I told you, your future is a happy one. So buck up, sis! Get out of bed before I drag you out of it. I've had enough of Depressed Bella-she's bringing me down!"

"Maybe next week, Alice," I said, pulling my pillow over my head.

"Bella. NOW! We only have a week until finals. We have to go out now."

I got up, knowing that arguing with Alice was futile. "Alright, let's go."

(CPOV)

It had been three weeks since I left Denali, and Bella still would not answer my calls. I had left so many messages for her, but she did not respond to them in any way. I was growing more desperate by the minute-had I ruined everything? Was my opportunity gone forever because I took too long to let her know how I felt? The first two weeks I spent pacing in my study every moment that I was not working, but by the third week I was not even working, only laying on my couch despairing.

Finally, my emotional downfall became too much for Jasper and he stormed into my study.

"Carlisle! That's enough, man! You are taking the depression and self-loathing to a level that far surpasses Edward on his worst day! You have got to get a grip, Dad!" He yelled.

"I'm sorry, Jasper. I cannot help it. I feel like my whole world has crashed around me all over again, only this time it is no one's fault but my own."

"Dad, I think you are forgetting Irina's role in all of this. And really, Edward's. He may not be here now, but he played a role in this too-that's obvious from what Bella said to you before she hung up the phone. You have to realize, Bella has never truly felt worthy of us. It's ridiculous, I know, seeing as how she is so pure and good, but it's how she feels. When Edward told her he didn't want her, she believed him immediately, because, in her mind, he had no reason to want her. She doesn't see herself, really.

We all know that Edward came back to her finally and she forgave him, but something changed in her. I felt it after we were back. She was terrified of us leaving again. Of losing us-all of us, not just Edward-once again. I would feel her panic every time he left her sight. I felt her pain when Alice and I would say we were going out for the day. It was horrible after the battle when Edward and Esme died. Combined her all her guilt, she was constantly feeling that we would all leave her, or force her to leave.

She is definitely better adjusted now, and I don't feel that panic from her anymore. That's why she was able to go to Glasgow on her own, and why I encouraged her to. I wanted her to know that she could go and we'd all be here waiting when she came home to us again."

"So you are saying that I broke her again?"

"Not necessarily, Dad. I'm just saying that, in that moment, in her anger, she went back to that day in the woods. She probably felt unworthy all over again. She doesn't believe she can compete with the Denalis.

But more importantly, she felt like she lost you, or the potential with you, at any rate. I probably shouldn't say this, but you have to know, Carlisle, that there really isn't anything that she wants more than you anymore."

I looked up at him with hope-filled eyes. "She feels that much for me, Jasper?"

"Really, Carlisle, sometimes I wonder how someone with vampire vision can be so blind!"

"I love her, Jasper."

"Well it's about damn time you admitted that, Dad." He clapped me on the back and I gave him an incredulous look. "I know you had a lot to work through. I don't begrudge you the time it took. But really, I'm glad that you finally acknowledge how you feel."

"I know it took awhile, but I'm sure, Jasper. I've never been so sure. I need your help, son. I can't lose her! I'm afraid I already have, and I don't think I can take it. I have to tell her, I have to make her understand, but she won't take my calls!"

"It's ok, Carlisle. I have a plan. We're only a week away from the end of term. That gives you one week to get your act together and pack a bag before you and I board a plane for Scotland."

**A/N: Well, what did you think?**

**Next up, Carlisle and Jasper go to Scotland. How will Bella respond?**


	17. 15 The Big Gesture

**A/N: Twilight is Stephenie Meyer's. **

Chapter 13: "The Big Gesture"

(CPOV)

Finally, after much too long of a flight, our plane was descending into Glasgow. We had not told the girls that we were coming, although I had little doubt that Alice knew. I only hoped that she had kept it from Bella. The girls had finished their term already, but were staying in Glasgow for a two weeks more in order to attend an end-of-term dance for their program before they left for England.

I was extremely impatient as I waited for the doors of the plane to open, and even more so as we sat in the taxi that was taking us to the campus. My nervousness was growing as well, and I realized when I felt a sudden wave of calm that I must be making Jasper crazy. I tried to keep hold of the calm he gave me, more for his sake than my own.

At last, we reached the dormitory where Alice and Bella had spent the past two and a half months. We paid the taxi driver, took our luggage, and stepped out into the cloudy Scottish day.

"Are you ready?" Jasper asked me.

"As I'll ever be, son." I answered.

I held my breath as we waited for an answer to Jasper's knock. Alice threw the door open and jumped into her husband's arms.

"Oh Jazzy! I'm so happy you're here! I've missed you so much!" She cried, in between kisses. Then she stopped, and gave me a knowing look. "Bella," she called. "Jazzy came to see me, I'm going to take him out for a quick post-flight hunt, ok?"

I heard Bella's beautiful voice call back to her. "Alice, I'm sure you mean you want to take him for a post-flight romp in the woods, and that's just fine. I'll see you later! Hi Jas!"

"Hey, sis! We'll be back in awhile!" He called back to her.

Alice let go of Jasper and closed the door behind her. Then, in a voice that only vampires could hear, she said, "Carlisle, you are like a father to me, and I love you. But you screwed up big time, and my sister is hurting. You need to fix this, and now! You have two hours."

"That's why I'm here, Alice. I'll do whatever it takes."

BPOV

After Alice left, I returned to my reading. I was jealous that Jas had come to see her, but happy for her at the same time. After all, she left her husband for months to come with me. I heard the door open. I wouldn't bring down their happiness.

"What did you forget, Alice?" I called, without looking up.

"It's not Alice, Bella dear."

My heart skipped a beat when I heard the honeyed voice that I'd recognize anywhere. I may have been feeling sad now, but the anger had not dissipated, and flared back up so fast that I couldn't push it down again.

"What do you want, Carlisle? Or should I say 'Carlie'?" I seethed.

"Please, never call me by that atrocious name. I hated it from the first time it was used."

I turned my back to him and gazed out the window. I knew there was no way for me to stay angry while looking at his beautiful face. I wanted so much to run away from him, to not have to hear the words that would completely shatter my heart. At the same time, I wanted so much to run to him, throw my arms around him, but I wouldn't. He had Irina now, nickname or not.

"Bella, please don't turn your back on me. Please, Bella, please allow me to explain it to you. I promise you only the truth. I respect you much too much to offer you anything less. Please, just listen to me, dear."

He was pleading. But why must he call me dear? I know he always has, but it's like a knife to the heart right now. I just don't understand why he flew all the way here just to break my heart. Didn't he understand that I didn't want to hear the details?

"Fine," I said, straining to keep any emotion from my voice. "Go ahead and sit. But really, you don't need to explain or apologize. I had no right to react the way that I did. You are a free man, and have every right to act on any desire you choose. I don't really want or need to know about it."

He took a seat in the chair across from my bed. His face was anguished, and I could see that he was nervous. Why? "Bella, I want to explain. You are under a misapprehension. When you and Alice left, I didn't take it well. I missed you terribly. You had become my best friend, and I felt lost without you. You were all I thought about, and it seemed that time would not pass for me. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I had to get away from the house that was filled with your essence. So I went to Denali to spend time with Eleazar. He and I are old friends - we have known each other since my time with the Volturi. He is very insightful, and always good to talk with. I didn't care to see the women, truly, I only went to see Eleazar. Unfortunately, the women were there too, and Irina took an interest in me. I ignored all of her advances, I promise you. But the Denali sisters, as a general rule, do not get turned down, and do not give up. Tanya was much the same way with Edward. So Irina did not notice my apathy, and continued to pursue me."

God, why was he determined to rub it in? Reminding me that I had competition for Edward as well? Thanks. "Carlisle," I interrupted, still holding the apathy in my voice. I may be hurting, but I loved this man, and wanted him to be happy. He shouldn't have to feel guilty for it. I had to reassure him. "It's ok if you want to be with her. You have every right. I met her, she's very beautiful. And you deserve to be happy. Really, you don't have to explain yourself to me. I'm fine with it." _Please..._

He stood up and began pacing around the room, his hands running through his hair. "Bella, you are not listening! I DO NOT WANT IRINA, nor have I ever! The only woman I have ever been with in my three hundred and sixty-six years has been Esme. Besides Esme, I have only thought of one other woman. And that woman was NOT a Denali. Now, please! I am begging you to understand me."

He kneeled on the floor in front of me, taking my hand in his.

"The whole time I was in Denali, I was thinking of _you_, Bella. Irina was doing nothing less than causing me annoyance, so as much as I wanted to spend more time with Eleazar, I called the airlines to make arrangements to go back to Hanover. I would rather be haunted by you than hunted by a wanton Irina any day."

I softened. _He was thinking of me? He didn't want her?_

"I should have been more firm with her from the beginning. I should have left sooner. I was wrong, Bella, and I'm sorry. Your phone call came less than half an hour after I changed my flight. Irina had heard me making the arrangements, so she decided to make one last effort, which was her most overt of all, to change my mind. And she did so while I was on the phone with you. I hate that you heard what she said, and worse, that it hurt you. You can pretend it didn't Bella, but I know you better than that. I responded to her with anger after you hung up on me. Never in my life have I spoken so rudely to a woman. But in that moment, I hated her! Not only had she hurt my Bella, but she had deprived me of hearing the only voice that I wanted to hear."

_My Bella? He called me his? I haven't lost him?_

"Weeks have passed since then, Bella, and still I have been without you. I couldn't take the waiting any more, so I flew here to see you, hoping that you would listen to me. I'm sorry, Bella. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry that I confused you time and time again in Hanover, and I'm sorry that I allowed Irina to hurt you. Please, Bella, forgive me. Please, tell me it's not too late."

He took my cheeks in his hand and turned my face so that I was looking into his beautiful golden eyes. They were shimmering with the tears that he was unable to cry. Everything about him screamed his sincerity.

"It's not too late," I whispered.

"There are _no_ distractions from you, Bella."

Without a single breath or thought, my body reacted instinctually to that sentence, and I lowered my face to close the gap between us as quickly as I could, until my lips covered his. He didn't hesitate in returning the kiss, nor did he pull away. It was slow and tender. My fingers reached up and threaded themselves in his golden waves, and he pushed himself up on his knees so that we were on the same level and I was no longer straining to reach him. His hands were still on my cheeks and I could feel his thumbs tracing a line over my skin. His tongue reached out and brushed along my lower lip, and I opened my mouth to him, allowing his entrance. He eagerly explored my mouth, and I experienced his taste, which matched his scent - apples, cinnamon, nutmeg, and spruce in a perfect blend. The kiss was filled with emotion, his and mine, meeting equally, both of us desperate to show each other our hearts. The kiss was right, it was perfect. It was everything that a kiss could ever be. I wanted nothing more than to stay this way, in this kiss, forever, but eventually human needs got the best of me and I had to pull back so that I could breathe.

Tears filled my eyes and I couldn't stop them. He had said everything I needed him to say. I was _his Bella_. I hadn't lost him. He moved up to sit next to me on the bed, and took me into his arms, holding me to his chest as I had longed for him to. His hand made soothing circles on my back, as he whispered soothing words into my ear.

When I had no tears left, I looked up at him. "I'm sorry, too, Carlisle. I over-reacted. I had no right to respond the way I did, whether you were with Irina or not."

"It's ok, Bella, I understand. I was never angry with you, only with Irina and with myself."

There was nothing more to say. The slate was clean, and there wasn't anything standing between us anymore. He pulled my face to his and kissed me again, a long, sweet kiss, showing me that everything would be okay.

He broke away to give me air, but still held me close, as if he was afraid to let go of me. I understood the feeling, as part of me feared my alarm clock would ring at any moment, waking me from this dream.

Finally, he released me and sat up straight. "Now, what do you say we get cleaned up a little? Alice and Jasper should be here soon, and maybe you girls can take us out to see Scotland?"

"Sure, Carlisle, that sounds nice."

**A/N: Do you love me? Was it worth the wait?**


	18. 16 Winter Break

**A/N: Twilight and it's characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, although this chapter really makes me wish Carlisle was mine.**

**Thanks to everyone for the great response you've been giving me. I've actually taken note of some reviews and changed the story around a bit to please you more (I hope). Chapters won't be out quite as fast now, since I've reached the end of what I had complete, but I know where the story is going, and I'll do my best to get you chapters daily still.**

**Enjoy reading, and let me know what you think.**

Chapter 16: Winter Break

CPOV

The four of us spent most of the next week exploring Scotland. At the same time, though, I was exploring Bella - learning all about her and who she really was. I could tell that her time here had given her the opportunity to do the same. While admittedly, part of me was desperate to explore her body as well, I had no intentions of rushing into the physical side of our relationship - not when we had only just admitted our feelings to each other. I have never been a man to be ruled by my desires - even as a vampire, I shunned human blood! I have walked the earth for over three hundred and sixty years, but I was only ever intimate with my wife. I was not going to change my ways now. I would, however, take my time in exploring her lush, soft lips and her warm mouth.

When Alice and Jasper returned to the dorm after Bella and my talk, they were both grinning from ear to ear. Of course, Alice must have had a vision and shared it with Jasper, because they were both hugging and congratulating us. Jasper was projecting smugness as well, and I could guess why. I owed him for all his help, and I knew it. Jasper and I had agreed on the flight that we should take the girls sightseeing, since they had been busy with schoolwork while they were here and hadn't had many chances to explore the country. The girls were thrilled with the idea, so the four of us spent the afternoon making plans for our time in Scotland.

On the first day, Bella took us to the Gallery of Modern Art that she had spoken of on the telephone that awful day in Alaska. The gallery was currently showing collections that represented human rights around the world, and there were several artists whose pieces truly captured the essence of the heartbreak. I could see the emotion shining in Bella's eyes as she looked at the art - she's always been such a selfless person, so in tune to the needs of everyone else, and I could see that the plight of the helpless in the world deeply affected her. I decided then that, when I made her my wife, she and I would find a way to benefit those less fortunate around the world. _My wife... I love the way that sounds. _Just the thought had me grinning, and I leaned down to give Bella a gentle kiss. She beamed at me when I released her lips, and I was pleased to be the one who had made her smile.

After the gallery, we stopped by a cafe to feed Bella before walking to the Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum. There we saw more traditional pieces by the likes of Dali, Monet, Van Gogh, and Botticelli. Watching Bella's face light up when she saw the canvases that she'd only ever seen before in books was amazing to me. Her eyes literally sparkled with delight, and as a result, mine did as well. As we were examining a painting by Botticelli, Bella commented on the beauty of the faces. Internally, I scoffed, as the woman I was looking at outshone them with ease.

It thrilled me, though, to see how much Bella loved art, since it had always been a great love of mine. I was pleased to know it was something we could share.

As the thoughts caused me to grin yet again, Bella asked me why I was smiling.

"Because I am here with you, sweetheart. Seeing how much you enjoy the art pleases me immensely."

She smiled, enchanting me.

"I've always liked art, I've just never really had the chance to see it in person like this. It's amazing!"

"_You_ are amazing, Bella," I said, pressing my lips to hers in a soft kiss. "I will take you to see all the art there is to see in the world," I promised.

The next day, Bella and Alice decided to show Jasper and I their usual haunts in Glasgow. We began the day with a tour of the campus, and then went to All Bar One, a pub that Bella said was her favorite, for lunch. Once we were seated, we were approached by the waiter, a tall young man with long dark hair, who, according to his badge, was named Gavin. I noticed immediately that he ignored all of us and spoke only to Bella, but dismissed it as the normal human instinctual fear of vampires. However, as he continued to speak, I realized that he was _flirting..._ with _my Bella_! I felt the jealousy rise in my chest, but it was drowned by a wave of serenity, and I nodded to Jasper in thanks. Finally, the boy walked away.

I didn't want to act like a caveman, so I immediately brought up our plans for the evening, which included seeing a show at a popular local theater called The Arches. The distraction kept me calm until Gavin returned with Bella's food.

" 'Ey Bella," he said grinning. "I just 'eard that The Tartans are back at King Tut's this Saturday. Want to see the show together?"

_Was I not sitting next to this woman? _My inherent vampire need to protect my mate -_ mate? Yes, she is my mate. -_ was strangling my control. I had to fight a very strong urge to either punch this boy in the face or take Bella right there on the table to let him know that she was _mine_. I turned to Bella and saw that she was quite flustered and blushing furiously.

"Actually," I began for her, "I believe Bella will be busy, with me, this weekend." I slipped my arm around her waist, pulling her closer to me in yet another barely conscious effort to make my point clear. I noticed Jasper rolling his eyes at me, but ignored him. I was fully aware that my behavior was comparable to a dog peeing on a tree, but I couldn't stop myself.

"Oh, alright. Sorry then," he said, turning from us. "Let me know if ya need something else 'ere, eh?"

"Okay, Gavin, thanks," Bella replied, not even looking up from her plate.

I had a lot of questions, but this wasn't the time to ask. I'd wait until we were alone this evening, and until I had calmed my instincts a bit more.

Later that night, after Alice and Jasper left for a hunt, I sat next to Bella on her bed.

"Sweetheart, I need to ask you about the waiter today..." I began.

"I was afraid of that," she replied, looking at the floor.

"Why, Bella? There's no need to be afraid of me, ever," I said, rubbing my hand on her arm to reassure her. "Just tell me."

"After Irina... I was angry. I was so angry. I know I didn't have any right to be, but that doesn't change that I was... I felt like there was something wrong with me, that I wasn't good enough for some reason. The same night, Gavin asked me out on a date."

"And you accepted." I said, not really asking.

"Yes. I'm sorry."

I could see her shame, and needed to push it away. "Bella, there's no reason to apologize. You did nothing wrong."

"I did! I told you I'd wait forever. I told you I'd come home to you."

"But Bella, you believed I had betrayed you. If it makes you feel better, I forgive you. But truly, there's nothing to forgive."

"Nothing happened with him, though. I promise. We went to the concert, and came home. He wanted to kiss me, but I couldn't let him. Angry though I may have been, I couldn't bring myself to want anyone but you."

She threw her arms around me, sobbing into my chest. I kissed the top of her head as I gently stroked her hair, soothing her.

"Bella, sweetheart, you have me now. You will always have me. Please don't cry." It took a few minutes, but finally she calmed and looked up at me. I moved my hands up to cup her cheeks, and looked deeply into her eyes. "Bella, I won't lie to you and tell you I wasn't jealous. I was, very much so. It took everything in me to control myself. But I have you now, just as you have me, and I don't care about anything but that."

She blushed.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing," she said, shaking her head and looking down again.

"No, no, it wasn't nothing. Tell me."

"I was just remembering how you looked at the pub."

I was confused, and a bit worried, remembering my behavior. "How did I look?"

"Well... It's just... I mean..."

"Bella?"

"You're very sexy when you're jealous," she said, speaking so quickly that it was rather like one long word.

I grinned, pleased that she felt that way about me.

"You're very sexy all the time, Miss Swan" I whispered into her ear in a lowered voice, causing her to shiver. Then I leaned forward, pushing her down onto the bed and pressing my mouth to her in a long, passionate kiss.

On our third day, the four of us took a taxi to Edinburgh. The girls had only left Glasgow once during the term, so we decided to take the opportunity to see unfamiliar places together. We began the day with the 'Saints and Sinners' walking tour, which was quite fascinating. It took us through the city, teaching about the characters and events that shaped the history of Edinburgh, from body snatching to graveyard tales and religious uprisings. Then, to continue the history lesson, as Jasper was absolutely enthralled, we took a tour of Edinburgh Castle as well as the Palace of Holyroodhouse, which is the Queen's residence in Scotland. I laughed as Bella marveled at the opulence and grandeur of the place, all while scolding Alice as she began making plans to redecorate our house to match it.

As we spent the day looking at history, I found myself imagining the future. In that future, I saw Bella and myself, walking together, hand in hand, remembering the times we live in now as they became history themselves. I marveled at the way everything I saw seemed to relate to her, and how much brighter the future seemed now that she was in my life.

I slipped my arm over her shoulders and pulled her into me, kissing the top of her head as I did.

She looked up at me, smiling. "What's got you so happy?" She asked.

"You, sweetheart, and history," I replied.

We had to stay inside the following day, as the sun made a rare appearance in Glasgow, and since Alice Saw that it would remain sunny for the next few days, we decided to make another out-of-town journey. We decided that it would be the perfectly cliche thing to visit the home of the Loch Ness monster while we were in the country, so we called and booked tickets, and that evening we found ourselves on the overnight train to the Scottish Highlands. I spent the night stroking Bella's beautiful mahogany hair while she slept with her head in my lap.

We spent two fabulous days in Inverness. On the first, we did the traditional Loch Ness tour, visiting the museum dedicated to the monster herself, as well as taking a boat ride on the loch. Despite all the evidence given to the contrary in the museum, Bella was convinced that the monster did in fact exist. This woman was always full of surprises, and I was curious as to her reasoning.

"It's simply, really," she said. "Everyone says that there's no such thing as the Nessie. But everyone also says that there is no such things as vampires or werewolves. Seeing as how I've had close personal relationships with both of those, why on earth would I doubt a giant monster living in a lake?"

I had to laugh at the simplicity of her answer. She was absolutely right, though. A human with as much experience with the supernatural as Bella must quickly learn to doubt nothing.

"Oh Bella," I said, enamored with the woman in my arms. "You are truly special."

Our second day in the Highlands was my favorite of the trip so far. We had heard of the spectacular waterfalls that were scattered through the area, and decided to see a few of them. Bring vampires, we knew we could get to them much faster and easier on foot than by any form of transportation, so I carried Bella on my back as we trekked through the mountains. I loved the feeling of having her that close to me, her heat permeating my clothing and reaching my skin, her legs wrapped around my waist. It was all I could do to keep control of my desire.

As we stood atop a hill overlooking the Eas a Chual Aluinn, the highest falls in Britain, I found myself gazing, not at the magnificence of nature, but at that of Bella. She was standing several feet away from me, her long tresses blowing in the wind and her cheeks pink with cold.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" She whispered.

Not taking my eyes from her, I agreed.

We ran back to the hotel after leaving the waterfall, with Bella once again on my back, to retrieve our bags before catching the train back to Glasgow. The entire run, I felt the same desire pulsing through me again. Standing outside the hotel while we waited for Jasper and Alice to check out, seeing her flushed face, I lost my tenuous hold over my self - control and pressed Bella into the wall, attacking her mouth with my own. My tongue immediately begging her for entrance, was accepted, and I explored her mouth greedily. Her taste was as glorious as her scent, and I couldn't get enough of it. I felt her hands tangle into my hair, tugging it lightly, and I moaned into her mouth at the feeling. I had one hand on the rounded curve of her hip and the other on her back, holding her tightly, pressing her into my body. I caught the scent of her arousal, and I deepened the kiss further as my mind clouded over with lust. I may not have had any desire for her blood, but her body was a completely different story. For that, I was desperate.

I had completely forgotten where we were until I heard the clearing of a throat. I pulled myself, rather reluctantly, away from Bella and looked to the side to see who had interrupted me. It was Jasper and Alice. Jasper's eyes were slightly hooded, obviously having been affected by my own feelings, but Alice was scowling playfully.

"Thank you, _Dad, _for that lovely vision," she said at a volume that only we could hear. "But perhaps you could wait until you were somewhere slightly more private?"

I straightened myself out, slightly embarrassed, and apologized to all of them for my behavior. I noticed that Bella's face was even more flushed and her breathing was still heavy.

"Never," she breathed. "Never apologize for that."

I laughed and took her hand, leading her to the train station.

Alice, Jasper and I were in need of a hunt, so we left Bella at the dorms to relax the following day while we ran to a nearby wooded area in search of our lunch. Once we were all sated with the blood of several red deer and wild goats, we sat together to rest a bit before returning to the dorm. (It's always nice to sit and relax for a bit after filling one's stomach.) The three of us were sitting in a small clearing in the woods when my "kids" decided to harass me a bit.

"Sooo, Dad..." Jasper began, dragging out the words. "Someone's got it bad."

Alice was grinning at me, obviously thrilled with recent developments.

"Yes, yes, Jasper. Feel free, get it out of your system."

"Oh, come on, Carlisle," Alice goaded. "You know the two of us are fine with it. Damn, we practically had to do all the work for you!"

"That's true, I suppose I should probably thank you both."

"Honestly, Carlisle? Seeing the two of you happy together is thanks enough," Jasper said softly. "Not to mention the elation is a major improvement over the negative emotions the two of you have drowned me in this last year!"

I had to agree, and I laughed right along with them this time.

"Although," Jasper continued. "I'd prefer not to watch as you mount my little sister in public!"

Once again I found myself grateful that vampires cannot blush. However, being in the presence of an empath, he certainly knew just how embarrassed I felt.

"Or anywhere else, for that matter! Wait till you have some privacy, would ya?" Alice added.

Unfortunately, the simple thought of real privacy with Bella led to a few choice thoughts on what I might do with her in said privacy, and Jasper shot me a scathing look.

"Unless you would like to watch as I take Alice in this field, Carlisle, you'll knock that off right now!" He said through gritted teeth. Apparently, my lust was stronger than I realized.

"Sorry son," I replied, sheepishly. "Maybe we aught to return to the dorms now?"

Alice winked at Jasper, and then turned to me. "Why don't you go on ahead, Carlisle?"

I took the hint and ran at vampire speed back to the dorm, back to my Bella.

The next morning the four of us set out for another day of Scottish history at the request of Bella and Jasper. We began the day at the People's Palace and Winter Gardens, a social history museum. Bella had questions for me at many of the exhibits, knowing that I had been alive at the time and wanting to hear about what she was seeing from my personal experience. I reveled in sharing the stories with her, thrilled that she was so excited by my history. Once again, I found myself grinning at the idea of the two of us looking back on this time as history.

After feeding my beautiful girl, we resumed our sightseeing adventure at the Glasgow Cathedral and Necropolis, which is the only medieval cathedral left standing in Britain. This seemed to greatly capture Bella's interest, and again my curiosity was peaked. I asked her what had so excited her, and she explained that she had read about a cathedral similar to this one in one of her classes this term, and she was simply excited to see a bit in person of what she had only read about. I loved the way she always seemed to relate the real world to literature. Her love of reading was unparalleled, except perhaps by Jasper. I briefly thought about how much more literature she could devour once she was a vampire and had unlimited time, and smiled to myself.

That evening, I took her to dinner at Kama Sutra, a local Indian restaurant. While we were waiting for our entrees, I took Bella's hand in mine.

"I've really enjoyed this past week, Bella. Thank you for spending it with me."

"I've had a wonderful time, Carlisle. I'm so glad you came. You know, this is the first time I've ever been on a real vacation."

"Well, we'll make sure to change that in the future. When you have all the time in the world, there's plenty of chances to see it.

You know, I wanted to ask you something. I know you are spending the next term in England, but I was hoping you might be willing to make a small adjustment to your trip?"

She looked a bit confused. "What do you mean?"

"I know you're planning to study Shakespeare while you are there. I don't know if you realized this, but Shakespeare started writing during my human lifetime. Thus, his plays were popular during my youth. I thought you might like to travel to Stratford with me tomorrow, to see A Midsummer Night's Dream. It's the first of his plays I ever saw performed, and I'd like very much to share that with you, if you're interested."

The smile on her face in that moment outshone the sun, and I was overwhelmed with joy at being the one responsible for it.

"Are you asking me on a date?" Bella asked coyly.

"I suppose you could call it that, Miss Swan."

"Well then I absolutely accept. I would love to go with you!"

"Wonderful! I'll call the airline when we return to the dorm and make the arrangements."

I was thrilled - not only would I share the show with her, but I'd also have two days alone with my Bella. I couldn't wait.

Alice and Jasper were happy with our plans, as it gave them a bit of privacy as well. Alice's only demand was that we return in time for the girls to attend the end of term dance thrown for the international students. She promised that she would take care of the clothes (of course) while we were gone. The terms were easily accepted, and the arrangements were made.

Bella and I spent two days together in England. We flew to London in the morning, and spent the early part of the day seeing some of the main tourist attractions, including Big Ben and the changing of the guard. I laughed as Bella tried her hardest to make one of the guards laugh, failing in her attempt. From there, we took a taxi to the flat I owned in London, which was where she and Alice would live while they were in town. While she looked around the flat, I took my shower, and then it was her turn. I dressed for the theater while she was showering, and then sat to wait for her.

She emerged from the shower in nothing but her towel, and I was struck by her beauty. My desire for her grew tenfold, and I could feel my pants tightening at the sight. I tried to reign it in, but she had already noticed and took full advantage of the situation by sauntering over to stand in front of me.

"See something you like, Carlisle?" She asked, her voice dripping with sex.

"God, yes," I replied, my arousal quickly becoming painful. "You are glorious, sweetheart. The most beautiful, sexy creature I've laid eyes on."

She climbed up on the bed, her legs on either side of mine so that she was straddling me. She leaned into me, and brought her mouth to my ear, slowly licking along the rim.

"And you, Carlisle, are a god among men," she breathed directly into my ear.

It took all I had not to rip open my pants and simply thrust up into her as I so desperately wanted to do.

"Bella," I whispered, as I ran my tongue from her collarbone up the side of her neck, following the trail left by a droplet of water that had fallen from her hair. "You little vixen. We have tickets to the theater, and very limited time for you to get ready. There is nowhere near the time I would want, or need, to do what you have in mind. Please, sweetheart, get up and go get ready, while I still have some modicum of control left."

She sighed, but acquiesced.

Finally, she was ready, looking quite glamorous in the dress Alice had sent for her, and we drove in the rented car to Stratford Upon Avon.

The performance was wonderful, but I found it difficult to concentrate on it with Bella sitting so near to me. I was simply enchanted by her excitement as she watched the actors on stage. I was so delighted that I had the opportunity to take her to her first show.

On our way back to London, we discussed the performance, and I listened eagerly to all of her thoughts about it. I loved when she spoke to me about books, or in this case, the works on stage. Her face lit up with excitement and I couldn't get enough.

When we returned to the flat, I carried her in and sat her in my lap on the sofa.

"What was your favorite part?" I asked, wanting to hear more.

"I don't know that there's any one thing I could choose. I love the _words_... The poetry of Shakespeare. It's amazing.

'But earthlier happy is the rose distilled

Than that which withering on the virgin thorn

Grows, lives, and dies in single blessedness.'

See? It's just beautiful!"

Hearing the words fall from her lips made them even more beautiful. I was eager for more.

" 'Two lovely berries moulded on one stem;

So, with two seeming bodies, but one heart.' " I recited.

She leaned in then, capturing my lips in a gentle kiss. "You are so romantic, Carlisle," she whispered between kisses.

Her kisses started gently, but quickly became more passionate as her fingers found their usual place in my hair. My tongue brushed along her lower lip, begging for entrance, which she quickly granted. I explored her mouth feverishly, my hands running up and down her back. I pulled away from her so that she could catch her breath, but my lips never left her skin, instead finding their way along the line of her jaw and up to her earlobe. I sucked it into my mouth and traced it with my tongue, causing her to shiver.

"Oh... Carlisle...." she breathed, the sound of her voice intensifying my need.

"Mmmmm, Bella... You taste divine," I murmured as I sucked on the skin over her pulse.

"Gah... Carlisle, kiss me!"

I brought my lips crashing back on to hers, reveling again in the warmth of her against the coolness of my lips. She sucked on my bottom lip and I felt for sure I would explode with desire. I stood, holding her tightly against me, my mouth never leaving hers, and carried her into the bedroom, lying her gently in the center of the bed. I lowered myself so that I was hovering above her, the majority of my body weight supported by my arms so as not to crush her. I reached up with one hand and lightly traced a line from her forehead down her face, and then continuing down her neck until I reached her collarbone. My mind was once again flooded with lust, but I was trying desperately to find my way back to sanity.

"Bella? Do you have any idea how much I want you?" I whispered.

"I hope it's at least half as much as I want you," she replied.

"More, sweetheart, it's more. I don't think I'll ever get enough of you."

"Just promise you won't stop trying," she answered huskily.

"Never," I answered. "But, sweetheart?"

"What is it honey?" She asked as she nipped at my jaw.

"We can't start trying just yet."

She pulled away from me suddenly, her expression somewhere between shock and anger, but her eyes still hooded with lust.

"Are you kidding me?" She demanded.

"Bella, Sweetheart, I promise you there is _nothing _I want to do more. But I don't want to rush into that. I have only been with one woman in over three hundred years, and it was within the confines of marriage. I may be a vampire, but you know that I have strong beliefs still. I don't want to throw that all away in a moment of lust. Please understand Bella, I promise you it's not for lack of desire."

Her face softened, and I knew she understood. "Okay, Carlisle, I understand. But can you at least go back to kissing me since you've got me all worked up anyways?"

"Of course, Bella, I can't think of a better idea."

Our flight back to Glasgow wasn't until late afternoon, so I decided to take Bella a few more places in the morning. We began at Westminster Abbey, and I told Bella of how I had attended a service there in my human days. She was amazed by it's size and the incredible detail of it's architecture. I loved listening to her describe what she saw, and I knew in that moment that I wanted to see the whole world through her eyes.

From there I took her down the street to have tea before we had to leave for the airport. While we were sitting at the table, she reached for my hand.

"Thank you so much for bringing me here, Carlisle. It was amazing to share something with you now that was part of your human life so long ago!"

"It was for me as well, Bella. I'm so glad we made this trip." I squeezed her hand in my own and smiled.

Two nights later, and Jasper and my last night in Scotland, it was time for the dance. Part of me felt a bit silly that I was attending a college party, but Jasper kindly reminded me that I was a twenty-three year old man, and therefore it was a normal occurrence. I was still a bit uncomfortable, though, until I saw Bella.

Bella looked absolutely adorable in a shore, red, strapless tartan dress with ruffles on the bust and hem, and black Mary Jane style heels. Alice had dressed me in a white button down shire and black trousers, with a red tie to match Bella's dress. All thoughts of silliness faded from my mind as I thought of dancing with her all night.

We did indeed have a marvelous time at the party. Bella introduced me to her professors and classmates, and I noticed her giving a nod and a sly smile to one girl in particular. I suspected it had something to do with me, and was pleased by the notion.

The night was almost over, but I did not want to let her go. I knew that this was my last chance to hold her in my arms until March, and just the thought was pure torture. Feeling her body so close to mine led my mind to less than gentlemanly thoughts of having her naked body pressed against my own, writhing in pleasure. That particular idea led to a raised eyebrow from Jasper and a near need to run to the nearest cold shower. I desperately wanted to beg her to return to Hanover with me, but I held my tongue. She needed to stay, to do her research and have this experience. When she was finished, she would come home to me, and I would make her mine.

Looking at the clock, I knew that there was very little time left before the party ended. I wanted to do something special for her, to show her how deeply I felt for her. I wracked my mind for an idea when it finally came to me.

"Bella, sweetheart, why don't you sit for a moment and rest your feet. I'll go get you a cup of punch."

I led her to a table, and then walked toward the punch bowl. On my way, however, I took a detour to the DJ's table, and offered him a bit of incentive to make the next song Van Morrison's _Someone Like You_. He agreed. I retrieved the punch and returned to Bella. We sat for a few moments while she enjoyed her drink.

Finally, I recognized the first notes of my request being played. I gave Bella a meaningful look and held out my hand, asking her to dance with me. I was sure she recognized the song when I saw her smile offer me her hand. Once we were on the dance floor, I wrapped my arms around her and held her close as we swayed to the music, never taking my eyes off of hers.

_I've been searching a long time_

_For someone exactly like you_

_I've been traveling all around the world_

_Waiting for you to come through._

_Someone like you makes it all worth while_

_Someone like you keeps me satisfied_

_Someone exactly like you. _

_I've been traveling a hard road_

_Looking for someone exactly like you_

_I've been carrying my heavy load_

_Waiting for the light to come shining through._

_Someone like you makes it all worth while_

_Someone like you keeps me satisfied_

_Someone exactly like you._

_I've been doing some soul searching_

_To find out where you're at_

_I've been up and down the highway_

_In all kinds of foreign lands_

_Someone like you makes it all worthwhile_

_Someone like you keeps me satisfied_

_Someone exactly like you._

_I've been all around the world_

_Marching to the beat of a different drum_

_But just lately I have realized _

_The best is yet to come._

_Someone like you makes it all worthwhile_

_Someone like you keeps me satisfied_

_Someone exactly like you._

When the song ended, she had tears in her eyes, and I knew she understood. In her heart, she knew. I was ready, I was here. She was everything I wanted. My heart was hers. We kissed tenderly, all of our emotions conveyed in that action. It was the perfect moment.

I held Bella in my arms all night, dreading the moment that Jasper and I would have to leave for the airport. But of course, that moment came. When the taxi arrived at the dorm for us, Bella was clutching my shirt with tears cascading down her soft cheeks, her face pressed into my neck.

"I don't want you to go," she whispered.

"I know, sweetheart. I don't want to leave you. But it's not such a long time, and I promise you, I'll be waiting for you when you come home."

I kissed her gently once more before I forced myself to let her go.

As our plane ascended into the air, I felt sad, but hopeful. The next two months would pass, and then she would come home to me, just like she promised. The future, for the first time in years, looked bright.

**A/N: Ok, very long chapter. I hope that you enjoyed it. Everything is accurate in this story-Dartmouth's English Department actually does have an overseas program with Glasgow. I spent a month in Scotland three years ago, but unfortunately did not have as much fun as Bella did in these two weeks, although I did see several of the sights mentioned, because my husband was busy with work and we were stuck in a tiny town between Glasgow and Edinburgh. I don't remember the name of the town now, but they had an excellent WalMart. =)**

**Next up: Alice and Bella go to England, Carlisle takes a little trip of his own, and Bella and Carlisle cope with being apart (hopefully better than they did while she was in Glasgow!). **

**Someone Like You belongs to Van Morrison, and is fabulous. **

**Shakespeare quotes were from A Midsummer Night's Dream, and can be found at 3.2 and 1.1 in the text.**

**Links:**

**.com/item/3EDB1211/Tartan-Strapless-Dress-at-ASOS Bella's dress for the dance**

**.?ID=133917&CategoryID=2910&PartnerID=SHP&cm_mmc=PMD_LS-_-LinkShare-_-Product_Terms-_-BCBGMAXAZRIA_Women's_Lumberjack_Chic_Plaid_Taffeta_One_Shoulder_Dress&PartnerID=LINKSHARE&LinkshareID=J84DHJLQkR4-WxjKLobD3_u6Kip_oa_vpg#mainProductImage Alice's dress for the dance (not actually in story, but this is what I had in mind at any rate)  
**


	19. 17 Merry Old England

**A/N: Twilight is still the property of Stephenie Meyer... I just own a battered, dog-eared, well-read copy of it.**

Chapter 17: Merry Old England

(BPOV)

January

Alice and I got settled into the London flat a few days ago. My room was the same one that Carlisle and I had laid in together, and I spent much of my time in it remembering that night... I was really missing him, but I was still having trouble being anything but happy now that something had finally happened between us. I was lying on the bed when I heard the door open down the hall, and knew it was Alice returning from her hunt.

"Alice! Come in here! I want to talk about men!" I called.

She was by my side in a minute, a silly grin on her face.

"You don't want to talk about men, Bella. You want to talk about Carlisle. And that's just fine with me! So come on, I've been waiting forever for you to talk about this-I want some details sister!"

"Oh Alice, everything was perfect! I know you Saw everything anyways, so I won't bother recounting the details. But, oh my god, he did everything right. Everything he says... He's just so romantic! And the way he kisses...

"I know, I know. Jasper and I had a ton of fun while he was here thanks to all the lust the two of you were forcing on him!"

"Sorry Alice," I mumbled, turning about eight shades of crimson.

"Are you kidding me? NEVER apologize for that! You have no idea what Jasper is like..."

"Ok, Alice. That's my brother you're talking about!"

"Well, in that case, EW Bella! That's my _dad_ you're talking about!"

"Alright, point taken," I replied, laughing.

"Ok, back to the gossip. What else happened?"

"Well, nothing major really. We got really close the night we were here, but he stopped us, saying that he didn't believe in sex outside of marriage. Oh, Alice, do you think he'll marry me?"

"Of course he will, and I doubt it will be too far off in the future. And you will let me plan the wedding. I've Seen it."

"Alice, I would let you plan it anyways, you know that. But I hope you're right about it being soon, because he is amazing and sexy and every time he kisses me I just want to rip off his clothes and beg him to take me!"

"Yeah... You're not the only one..."

"What? You mean Carlisle...?"

"Completely. From what I've guessed from all the visions that lasted a few seconds at a time, and believe me, there was one or two that made me wish I could bleach my brain, he really wants you, but he is really firm in his decision to wait. I think he was just having trouble sticking with it."

"So you're saying that there were some..."

"No, Bella. Don't make me relive those. I honestly don't think I can take it again!"

We both laughed as she threw a pillow at me.

"Ok, well the last thing that really happened was at the party on the last night. We had been dancing awhile, and then he said he wanted to go get me some punch. I saw him stop and talk with the DJ. Then a few minutes later, Someone Like You by Van Morrison came on, and he asked me to dance. And I swear, Alice, he never took his eyes away from mine. I knew he was giving me a message with it."

"I'm sure you're right, seeing as how he was the one who requested the song. I Saw him do it. But listen, Bella, I just want to verify one thing. You really love him, right? It's not something less, or settling, or lust, or anything like that, right?"

"Alice, I absolutely love him. That's why I've waited for him and let him take it at the pace he needs to. Sure, I'm totally attracted to him. Honestly, that started from the first time I saw him in the hospital after Edward saved me from the van. I dreamt about him several times back then, before Edward and I were together. But I ignored it because we both loved other people. Then we got so close after everything that happened, and I just love who he is. I love that he is so compassionate and caring. That even when he's hurting, he still wants to help everyone else first. I love that he's polite and gentle and responsible. I love that sometimes, when he thinks no one is looking, he forgets that he's a three hundred and sixty plus year old vampire and becomes the twenty-three year old man that he still is deep down. I love that he's an optimist. I love the warmth that shines in his eyes. I love _him_. He's wonderful."

"I thought so, I just wanted to hear it from you. Rose and Jazzy both told me that he's been on cloud nine ever since he got back to Hanover. I told you Bells, your future is a happy one. You'll see."

CPOV

I returned to Hanover with mixed feelings. While I was over the moon at having gotten Bella's forgiveness and her love, I missed her terribly from the moment our taxi drove Jasper and I away from her. Now I had two and a half months to wait before I could see her again.

I busied myself with work, even taking extra shifts at the hospital during the first week home, hoping I could distract myself. But my words to Bella were true - there _are _no distractions from that woman. She was in my every thought... Luckily for my patients, vampires can think more than one thing at once. I spent much of my time thinking about the future with her. I had every intention of making her my wife. Soon. But I knew that I couldn't rush her. Edward had confided in us long ago that Bella had previous negative associations with the idea of marriage because of her parents, and had rejected his proposal several times before finally accepting it. I could only hope that she had changed her mind since then, as I couldn't think of anything that I wanted more than to make her Mrs. Carlisle Cullen.

Knowing these were my intentions, there were other obstacles to overcome in addition to Bella's own disposition. One of these was Charlie. I knew that he liked me as a person, but I wasn't so sure that said positive feelings would carry over to liking me as a suitor for his only daughter. Not to mention there was the issue of my age - according to the records in Forks, I should be turning thirty-eight this year. Bella is twenty - two. Would the sixteen years that he thought were between us be more than he could accept? Would the fact that I had three "children" who were a year _older_ than Bella be too much? Or would it simply be the fact that she was once engaged to my "son"?

I wasn't sure how he would respond, but I knew that I didn't want him to be blindsided by our relationship when I asked for Bella's hand. So I made the decision to take a few days off work and fly to Washington for a visit.

Once my arrangements had been made, I called Charlie to let him know I was coming to town, and invited him to dinner the following evening.

I met Charlie at six-thirty the next day at the Lodge, as planned. He was already seated when I arrived, so I walked over to join him at his table.

"Hello Charlie," I greeted him. "How have you been?"

"Good, thanks. How about you Carlisle? You're here a bit early this year, aren't you? Don't you usually come in June?"

"I'm well, thank you. You're right, we usually come in June, but I came on my own this time to take care of a few things. You just happened to be one of them."

"Me?"

"Yes, Charlie. I needed to have a talk with you."

"Is Bella okay?"

I could hear the worry in his voice. "Bella is perfectly well, Charlie. I promise you, there is no need to worry. Let's order our dinner and then we can talk, alright?"

We ordered food, I chose pasta, as Bella had told us it was the easiest food to pretend to eat. Once the waitress was gone, I knew that my moment had arrived.

I took a deep breath. "Charlie? I told you that nothing was wrong with Bella, and that was true. But she _is_ the subject that I want to discuss. As you know, the past few years were not easy on my family. Losing Esme and Edward was a very painful experience for all of us, Bella included. Since then, Bella and I have grown to be close friends, the shared experience bonded us, I suppose.

When she went to Scotland in September, I realized that I had fallen in love with her, without ever intending to. As it turns out, she returned my feelings. I love her very much, Charlie, and I can promise you, I will never hurt her. My intentions with her are honorable, I assure you. I hope to make her my wife someday, hopefully in the near future. Bella is a grown woman now, but you will always be her father, and your opinion matters. I came here to ask your permission to court your daughter, Charlie."

I could see he was quite shocked by my words. That was to be expected though, so I remained quiet, giving him time to absorb and consider what I had said.

Finally, he spoke. "Carlisle? Aren't you a little bit old for my daughter?"

Again, expected. I could handle this.

"I admit, there is an age difference. But Bella will graduate from Dartmouth in a few months, and then she truly is an adult in the adult world, where age isn't quite as important. And Bella has always been extremely mature for her age, so she and I don't feel the age difference so much, I suppose."

"I don't know about this, Carlisle. I mean, I know you're a good guy, but it all feels a bit strange to me."

"I understand, Charlie. It felt odd to me as well, at first. It took me a long time to accept the idea that I had feelings for Bella because I thought it was wrong. But Jasper, my son, as well as I friend that I spoke with, reminded me that we don't control who we love. Ours may not be the most conventional, but I assure you, the love I feel for her is real."

"I can see that you mean what you're saying. I don't doubt it for a minute. I won't lie to you and say I'm thrilled, but the most important thing to me is Bella, and her happiness. If you are the one that makes her happy, well, then that's alright with me."

I was thrilled. It was as good a response as I could hope for. It was even worth the spaghetti I had just eaten, that tasted like dirt and would have to be regurgitated, hopefully soon.

I reached out and shook Charlie's hand. "Thank you, Charlie. Thank you so much."

We finished our dinner just chatting casually about work and sports, and I thanked him once more when I said good-bye at the car.

From dinner, I stopped in the woods to deal with my dinner and take down a deer to cleanse my palate, and then got back into the car and drove to Denali. I had business there as well.

Twenty-two hours later, I arrived at the Denali compound. I had phoned Eleazar when I entered Alaska to let him know that I was coming, and he promised to be waiting. He opened the door before I could even knock, and greeted me with a hug and a large smile.

"You told Bella," he said, not asking.

"How do you know?"

"The smile on your face gives it all away, old friend. I haven't seen such happiness from you in years. She obviously loves you as well?"

"Thankfully, yes. And you're right, I couldn't be happier. She's like a breath of fresh air. She makes me feel alive again, Eleazar!"

"It's wonderful to hear, my friend. Please accept my and Carmen's sincere well wishes for your future together. Now tell me, did you drive so many hours simply to give me this information in person, or have you, too, come to have words with the sisters?"

"What do you mean, me too?" I asked, confused.

"After your last visit, your dear daughter flew all the way here, staying less than an hour, for the sole purpose of yelling at Irina. She loves you very much, Rosalie does."

I was shocked. I had no idea that she had done such a thing.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know," I said, worried that she may have embarrassed the family. I've seen Rosalie angry...

"Don't be. While I won't say she was polite, because I am sure you know Rosalie well enough to know better than that, I will say that I was proud of her. She came to protect you, and to protect Bella. It was quite the show, actually. The sisters didn't speak for several hours after her exit. Perhaps the first time I've ever heard them quiet..."

He laughed, and I joined him.

"Well, I didn't come to be rude, but I do wish to speak with Irina."

"Come in, dear friend. Take a seat, and I will call her down."

A few moments later, I found myself sitting at the dining table across from Irina. I had asked the others to leave us some privacy, as I did not want to embarrass the woman.

"Irina, I have come to apologize. I was quite rude to you the last time I saw you, and it was uncalled for. I hope that you can forgive such ungentlemanly behavior. In addition, I would like to politely request that you make no further advances toward me, as my heart has been spoken for already."

"Yes, I am aware, Carlisle. Rosalie informed me of such. I will respect your relationship, even if I don't fully understand it."

"Thank you, Irina. That is all I can ask for. You and all in this house have been family to us for a long time, and I don't want anything to hurt that relationship. I would like very much for any tension to be relieved."

"I understand, Carlisle. There is no bitterness on my end. I hope you will forgive me as well, for making you uncomfortable."

"Of course, cousin."

I walked to the other side of the table and hugged her briefly, showing her that all was well. As I hoped, she returned the hug in an appropriate fashion.

The rest of the family came back not much later, and we sat together for awhile, catching up on the latest news. It felt good to be comfortable there again.

The next morning, I flew back to New Hampshire, where I would find a way to pass the time until my love returned, knowing that our future no longer had obstacles, at least not in the form of family members.

February

BPOV

As much fun as I was having in England so far, I was really homesick. It had been nearly six months since I'd seen Emmett and Rose, and I missed them. And even though it had only been six weeks since we said good-bye to Jas and Carlisle, I missed them just as much.

I was brought out of my thoughts by the ringing of the phone. I was home alone today as Alice had gone out on a hunt, so I went to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Bella, hello. It's Carlisle."

I grinned. Did he know I had just been thinking of him?

"Hi."

"How is London dear?"

"It's wonderful. We've done the most of the touristy things, seen the Tower of London and ridden the double-decker busses. I have gathered a lot of information for my thesis. I'm going the Shakespeare route, simply because there's so much more information available, but Alice still took me to see the Bronte house. It was fabulous."

"So what have you done related to Shakespeare?"

"Oh, we toured his home and the Globe Theater, I learned a bit about the history of Stratford, and we've gone to see Romeo and Juliet, MacBeth, and Othello. Actually, we've been to the theater a lot, but only those three were Shakespeare's work."

"I see Alice is giving you the full London experience." He laughed.

"Yes, she is. I have fully experienced Harrod's as well... Several times, in fact."

His beautiful, musical laugh filled my ears.

"We have also patronized Marks & Spencer and Debenhams, not to mention all the boutiques. Alice says that clothing designers are artists, and therefore high-end shopping has cultural value."

"It's an interesting theory, for sure. I'm happy to hear you are enjoying yourself, however."

"Yes, it has been a wonderful trip, but I am feeling pretty homesick these days."

"Oh really?" He replied, his tone a bit suggestive. I grinned at the thought.

"Yes. I miss my family."

"We could arrange a trip for you to see Renee and Charlie as soon as you get home, sweetheart."

"Well, that _would_ be nice, but I have classes starting soon after I get home, and then I'll see them for graduation anyways. And anyway, I wasn't referring to them in that statement. I was referring to Rose and my brothers, and a certain, very handsome, blond doctor."

"We all miss you very much as well, Bella. I'm really looking forward to having you back home, and back in my arms."

_I'm really looking forward to him having me as well..._

"I'm looking forward to that too," I said, trying my hardest not to betray my desire, and thanking god that he couldn't see my blush through the phone.

"I heard Rose mention plans to go out when you girls get home. Alice was supposed to purchase the dresses for the three of you."

"Oh, don't worry. She's purchased plenty," I laughed. "So will you be coming out with us this time?"

"I don't know if that's a good idea," he said. "Not many college students enjoy going to a club with their father."

"I don't think of you as my father, and I had fun dancing with you in Scotland." I said simply. "And the others will be too wrapped up in each other to care. Anyway, it's not as if you're an old man, Carlisle."

"That is entirely up to interpretation."

"Well, I am only a few months shy of twenty-three myself now, so unless you would like to make me feel bad, you'll drop the old man routine. As far as anyone can see, you are a young, desirable twenty-something."

"Oh, I am desirable, am I?"

I decided to tease him a bit.

"Why don't you survey the nurses at Dartmouth-Hitchcock? Or you could simply make a phone call to Irina..."

He sighed. "I'd really rather not. I think I am aware of their opinions on the issue already. I'd really prefer to know the opinions of people who matter."

"I see... Well, I'm pretty sure I made my opinion known in London, in your flat, in the very bed I'm lying in right at this moment..." This time there was no hiding the lust in my voice.

"Yes, I think I might remember that evening... I may need a reminder when you return next month, however. I tend to be forgetful."

I laughed. "A forgetful vampire? Well, I suppose there's a first for everything, right?"

Once again, I was gifted with his sweet musical laughter. I loved that sound.

"So is there anything interesting going on at home these days?"

"No, not really. Rosalie and the boys are busy with winter term, I've been working some extra shifts at the hospital. Life is quite boring without you around."

I grinned again.

"The feeling is mutual. You know, I was thinking, once I'm done being a crazed, bloodthirsty newborn, maybe our next move should be to a bigger city. You know, we could live out in the middle of nowhere as always, but maybe close enough to take advantage of all the big city fun?"

"What, Hanover and Forks are not fun?" He laughed heartily.

"Well, there's just not much to do. Maybe we could go to Boston...Harvard is there. Or NYU. Alice and Rosalie might go a little crazy shopping in New York though. Hmm...We could even go to San Francisco-it's always foggy there!"

"I think London is rubbing off on you, dear."

"Maybe it is, maybe it is. It's fun to have so many options of things to do, you know? A thousand different ways to spend an evening."

_Gah, I can think of quite a few ways to spend an evening that I'd like to try out..._

"We'll see about it once you reach that stage, Bella. By then you may have found other ways to occupy yourself at night." There was no mistaking the suggestive nature in his tone.

_Did he really just say that???_

Trying to keep my voice level, I replied, "Well, the prospect does sound intriguing."

"It does, doesn't it?" He paused. "Oh, Bella dear, I'm sorry, I am being paged by the hospital. I'll talk to you again soon, alright?"

"Of course, Carlisle. It was nice to hear your voice. I miss you."

"As it was yours, sweetheart. I can't wait till you come home to me. Good-night."

An hour later, the doorbell rang, surprising me right out of a lovely daydream. I opened the door to find the delivery man, holding a dozen red and orange roses. I took them, thanking him, and walked over to the table to set them down before opening the card.

"For where thou art, there is the world itself,

And where thou art not, desolation.

I miss you sweetheart."

_Oh my god, the man send roses and quotes Shakespeare? Have I mentioned that he is romantic?_

I sent Carlisle a text to thank him for the flowers, knowing he was busy at the hospital, and then took them up to my room. I was sure Alice wasn't coming home until after midnight, so I went to sleep and had very good dreams of ways to occupy my evenings with a certain gorgeous blond doctor.

March

BPOV

Alice and I have just finished packing the last bag. We are going home with a ridiculous amount of luggage, thanks to Alice. I can't imagine what the luggage fees we will be paying are, but I suppose it doesn't matter that much.

I've had a many more flirty phone calls with Carlisle. The man is driving me crazy, but in a very, very good way. I simply cannot wait to be back in his arms, with his lips on mine.

We have had a hard road, there's no doubt about it. I don't resent him for taking so long to get here, because I understand. He had a lot more time with Esme than I did with Edward, so it makes sense that it would take him longer to overcome it. And I know that Esme and Edward will always have a place in our hearts, both of ours. Not a day passes that I don't still think of them. Often it's just something simple that reminds me of them, like a piece of classical music or seeing a mother hug her daughter. People who are that wonderful, that special, they make their mark on you, and it's permanent.

I loved Esme dearly, and I have done my best to grow up and be a woman that she'd be proud of. I really believe that she'd be happy to know that I love Carlisle, that I want to take care of him and make him happy. She loved him so much, and she'd want that for him. I'll never try to take her place, because no one ever could. I'll make a place of my own.

And Edward. My Edward. There's no question that I loved him with my whole heart. And I know he took a piece of my heart with him when he died. That piece will always be his. He gave his life so that I could live. It was amazing how much he loved me. I loved him back just as much, which is why I risked my own life for him twice as well. A big part of who I am is because of Edward. He helped me to believe in myself, and I know that if he could see me now, he'd be proud. I did Dartmouth for him, and doing so well there has proven that he may have been right about me after all. He believed in me, even when I didn't. I'll always be grateful to him.

But now, it's time for Carlisle and I to live again. And we will. Together.

Alice drew me out of my thoughts.

"Hey sis, you've been quiet for a long time. What are you thinking about?"

"I was just thinking about Esme and Edward, and Carlisle. I know we both used to worry that having feelings for each other somehow betrayed them, but I don't believe that anymore. I really think they'd be happy if they knew."

"They would, Bells. Because there's no one who either of them loved more than the two of you. They'd want you to be happy and loved. And who better to make you feel that way than each other? I'm sure, wherever they are, they're smiling."

"I hope so, Alice. I'd like to think that wherever they are, they are happy."

We smiled at each other a little dreamily, both of us imagining our lost loved ones happy somewhere.

"Well, I think we've got everything ready now, and I don't know about you, sis, but I am ready to go HOME."

"Me too, Alice. Me too."

**A/N: Hope this was okay. **

**The quote for Bella's flowers is from Henry IV, Part 2, Act 3 Scene 2.**

**Next up: The girls come home!**


	20. 18 Welcome Home!

**A/N: I don't own it. I think you know that though. ;)**

**Now, here it is, the chapter we've been waiting for.... Bella is coming home!**

Chapter 18: Welcome Home!

(CPOV)

Today is the day. My Bella is finally coming home today! I feel like I've been waiting forever to see her. I've heard the saying so many times that you don't know what you have till it's gone. That wasn't true with Esme-I always knew how lucky I was to have found her. But it was most definitely true with Bella. I was so unsure of what I wanted, of how I felt, until she left for Europe. As soon as she wasn't in my life, I knew. I need her. She is my best friend, my confidant, the one I turn to when I am down. But she's also the one I desire. God, I just want to touch her again, to feel her warmth against my cold skin, to press my lips against hers. I have never felt so alive in my entire existence as I do when I'm with her... Not even when I was actually alive! And now I'm just four hours and eleven minutes away from having her in my arms.

(BPOV)

I was nearly bouncing in my seat on the plane. Alice was doing her best to calm me down, but she is not naturally a very calm person, and was just as excited to see Jasper as I was to see Carlisle, so she wasn't very successful in her efforts. I can't believe it - after all this time, I am only four hours away from seeing him!

Alice and I have thoroughly discussed our plans for tonight. The whole family is going to Club Electra, although I will have to do a bit of convincing to get Carlisle to go with us. Alice has already picked out our clothes (she bought them in a boutique in London), and assures me that I'll be plenty tempting for Carlisle. She also reminded me that I am NOT to get drunk again. No problem. All I want to do is have fun with my family. And Carlisle. God, I can't wait to dance with that man again.

(CPOV)

I have my doubts that counting the minutes until she arrives has helped make the time pass more rapidly, but at least it's given me something to do. Rosalie forced me to sit down twenty-four minutes ago, swearing that I was wearing an path into the hardwood floor with my pacing. Honestly, none of them are helping me calm down, and I think Jasper is partially to blame. He is so excited to see Alice again that Rose, Emmett and I are all feeling a bit giddy. Thirty-one minutes and they will be here. Thirty-one minutes until I can feel her lips on mine.

(BPOV)

"Come on, Alice! I know you can drive faster than this!" I yelled.

"Bella, I swear, that is the first time you have EVER complained that I was driving too _slowly_! We will be there in twelve minutes, just be patient!"

Patient? She wants me to be patient? We are so close I can taste it, yet not close enough. All I want to do is get home! Hurry up, Alice!

(CPOV)

Oh god, she'll be here in three minutes! I've got to calm down... I can't very well attack her the moment she gets out of the car. _Come on, Carlisle, control... You've mastered control over the last three centuries, you can do this!_

I tried to calm myself, Jasper being absolutely useless by this point. It wasn't working. Who could be calm when they were minutes away from seeing their love for the first time in months? The love that they are desperate to hold, to touch, to kiss, to caress...

I can hear the car... It is less than a mile from the house.

_Hurry, Alice, please hurry._

(BPOV)

There it is! Our house! I can see it! Why in the hell is our driveway so damn long? There is no patience left in me. I just want Carlisle. He is _home. _

Finally, Alice pulled in front of the house. Everyone was standing outside waiting for us. Oh my! My memory did not do him justice! He looks just like a god standing in front of the house, his blond hair waving in the light wind and his broad smile warming my heart.

Alice turned off the car and I opened the door and stepped out. Even though I had just seen him standing on the porch step, there he was next to the door. My breath hitched at his proximity, and I knew everyone present could hear my heart racing in my chest. I didn't care.

(CPOV)

She stepped out of Alice's car, an absolute vision. My god, she is beautiful! I heard her breathing hitch, and that was it. With not one ounce of control left in me, and not one thought left in my head, threw my arms around her and picked her up so that her face was level with mine, bringing my lips against hers forcefully. I felt the electricity flow through my body the moment we touched. My tongue invaded her mouth as her hands tangled in my hair. I leaned forward, pressing her into the side of Alice's car and continued my assault on her mouth. She moaned when she felt the cool metal against her back, and the sound only encouraged me to deepen the kiss further.

Vaguely, I heard Alice's voice behind me, warning me. "If there is a Bella-shaped dent in my car, you are so buying me a new one!"

I pulled my lips away from Bella just to let her catch her breath, and answered Alice. "Worth it... So worth it."

I let Bella down, but kept her securely wrapped in my embrace.

"Oh Bella! Truly, I have missed you!" I whispered to her as I kissed the top of her head. I laid my cheek against her hair and held her close to me, never wanting to let her go.

"I've missed you too, Carlisle. So much. It's so good to be home."

I felt like time had stopped. In a good way, for once. After all the anticipation, she was finally in my arms. I was _home_.

(BPOV)

Standing there, wrapped up in Carlisle's arms, I was happier than I've been in so long. This was exactly where I wanted to be.

All too soon, Rosalie and Emmett converged upon us and complained that it was their turn to hug the human. I really was excited to see them too, so I reluctantly let go of Carlisle. Emmett immediately scooped me up into one of his huge bear hugs until he was nearly squeezing the life out of me.

"Emmett, need to breathe!" I reminded.

"Oh, right. Sorry Bells! I'm just so glad to see you sis!"

"Me too, Emmy! I missed you big brother!"

He set me down so that I could greet his beautiful wife.

"Rosie! I missed you too, sis! Wait till you see all the stuff we brought back for you!"

She hugged me back tightly.

"I can't wait to see it sis, but the best thing you brought back is my two sisters! I've been the only girl here for way too long!"

We all laughed.

"Yes, I'm sure it was torture, Rose," I said, laughing. "Ah, it's definitely good to be back home with my family. I've missed you too much!"

Jasper, finally untangling himself from Alice, threw an arm around me. "Glad to have you back, sis."

"Glad to be here, Jas. We sure could have used you on the plane today!"

"Not really, sis," Rosalie laughed. "He didn't do much good for anyone here. We were all as giddy as school girls all morning!"

"Yeah, I know the feeling. Alice considered jumping out the emergency exit door when we flew over New Hampshire so she could get home faster!"

"Yeah, yeah, Bella. You were the pillar of patience in the car too," Alice teased. "Come on, let's go inside. Boys? Can you get the luggage?"

"Yeah, it will take all three of you-if you thought Isle Esme was bad, you haven't seen anything yet!"

Alice stuck her tongue out at me, but laughed. "Yeah, she's right," she admitted.

Everyone laughed, and my sisters and I held hands and walked into the house.

An hour later, clean and fed, I entered Carlisle's office, finding him sitting behind his desk making notes in a chart.

"Hi there." I said.

"Bella," he said, standing to meet me halfway over the desk for a kiss. "Are you recovered now?"

"Yes, feeling much better, thank you. But only for a few minutes...then it's Bella Barbie time." I scowled good-naturedly. "So are you going to come dancing with us tonight?"

"I don't know, dear."

"Oh, come on, Carlisle. Haven't we already had this discussion? Alice and I just got home, and we want the whole family together. Please, Carlisle, I want you there. I want to dance, and I'm not going without you. I really want you to come, old man," I added teasingly.

"Bella, you don't understand. You are a modern woman. Twenty-three is young nowadays. In my time, though, twenty-three was practically middle-aged! I've just been a grown up too long, I think."

"Well, then that's reason enough. Come dancing with me tonight. Let me teach you how to be young again. It's about time you joined modern society," I teased.

"Ok, Bella. Since you're going to make it an educational trip, I suppose I have no excuse."

He smiled that gorgeous smile at me again, and I felt like I would melt into the floor.

"Thank you." I replied, kissing him across the desk again.

"Now, you mentioned having a few minutes before you had to get ready?" He asked, trying to sound innocent.

"Why, yes, I do, actually. Why?"

"I can think of a few ways to spend those minutes..."

He didn't wait for a response. Instead, he instantaneously appeared in front of me, lowering his lips to mine as I felt my body being forced downward until my back met the smooth wood of his desk.

Nine minutes of kissing and two hours and fifteen minutes of Bella Barbie time later, I was ready for the club. Even though I would have enjoyed more making out with Carlisle time, I didn't complain, because it was time spent bonding with my sisters, one of whom I hadn't seen in seven months. They gave me a manicure, pedicure and facial, curled my hair and applied make up before they finally announced that I was ready to get dressed. I silently thanked god that they had run out of body parts to primp, and went into the closet to get into my dress.

I have to give Alice credit - she may spend half of her life shopping, but she is damn good at it. When I walked back out of the closet, she and Rosalie were already dressed and ready. All three of us looked amazing! I was in a slinky, slightly draped little black dress with one shoulder strap and then a crossover beaded strap. I had on black peep-toed heels, big silver hoop earrings and a silver and black beaded cuff on my wrist. My hair, curled loosely, was pulled back in a messy ponytail.

Rosalie looked like a supermodel, as usual. She was wearing a fitted red satin minidress that was tight to mid-thigh, and then ended in a little kick pleat. It was strapless and had a band of rhinestones under the bust. Put together with silver stilettos, a rhinestone bracelet, and her long golden waves, she was amazingly beautiful and sexy.

Alice also looked fabulous, wearing an ivory silk micro mini dress with sparkly gold beading coming down the side and flowing across the front and back of the dress. It had a high neckline, and beading that made it look like she was wearing several strands of gold and beaded necklaces. It was completely glamorous paired with strappy gold heels, and totally Alice.

We walked down the stairs to meet our men together. Carlisle looked absolutely delicious in straight leg jeans and a black dress shirt that contrasted so well with his light hair and skin. I barely even noticed that anyone else was in the room as I entered it, fixated as I was on the god before me.

(CPOV)

I agreed to go to the club with Bella when she pleaded with me. I couldn't deny her anything. I knew that she would look amazingly sexy, as she did the last time they went, and I really didn't want to miss seeing that. Nor did I want to miss the chance to dance with her again - I had so enjoyed it in Scotland.

When she walked down the stairs, I was shocked. She was so sexy, so womanly, so gorgeous. The club seemed even less appealing now, as my real desire was to take her to my bedroom and spend the night ravishing her.

I wanted to go to her, but my legs temporarily forgot how to move. I was rooted to the spot, unable to take my eyes off of her.

When I finally remembered how to function, I approached her and put my hands on her upper arms, holding her a ways away from me so that I could take her in once again before I pulled her into my chest.

"You look absolutely stunning," I whispered into her ear, lightly licking along the rim. "It should be illegal to be so tempting."

I felt her blush warming her face as it was still pressed into my chest. I inhaled deeply, reveling in her scent.

"You have no idea what the image of you in that dress is doing to me right now," I added as I nibbled on her earlobe.

She shivered, inhaling deeply. "I think I have some idea... We don't have to go anywhere, you know," she breathed huskily.

I laughed - as much as I wanted to agree, I knew that she wanted to go. And to be honest, I wanted to see her dance in that dress!

"I thought you were going to teach an old vampire some new tricks?" I teased.

"Oh, right, I forgot," she replied, shaking her head, I presume to relieve the lusty haze. She grabbed my hand, pulling me toward the door while she laughed. "Let's go."

Twenty minutes later, we arrived at Club Electra. There was a line outside, but I simply followed Rosalie, who walked right up to the bouncer. He looked at her, then moved the rope aside and allowed the six of us to enter the club. Still following her, I led Bella with my hand on her lower back into the VIP seating area, where the six of us sat down at a table. I loved the feeling of her warmth against my hand.

The music was pumping loudly, with a thundering bass line. The dance floor was already nearly full, and I saw a crowd standing around the bar as well.

"Bella, would you like something to drink?" I asked.

"I think I'm ok for now, but thank you. Maybe in a little while?"

"Sure, just let me know."

The kids had already gone off to the dance floor, and it was just the two of us at the table.

"So, what should I know about tonight?" I asked.

"You mean your old man lessons?" She teased. "Well, you should know that we won't be doing any waltzing tonight. Club dancing has no rules, no set motions that you should make. Basically, the idea is just to feel the music, and let it move through your body. That's why they pump the bass so loud. Don't worry about feeling silly, because honestly, the only one who will be watching you is me, and I _always_ think you are sexy." I noticed how her voice lowered as she said that, and the tone of it went straight to my groin. My god, I wanted her.

Trying to keep my voice from sounding strained, I answered her. "Well, it sounds easy enough. Shall we try it?"

"Come on!" She exclaimed excitedly.

She stood up and extended a hand to me, leading me to the center of the dance floor where Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and Jasper were dancing. I studied their movements as we approached, and found myself raising my eyebrows. They looked like they were mating on the dance floor!

"Now, Carlisle, I see that look. They aren't doing anything wrong. Look around - that's what club dancing looks like. It's primal. Just let yourself go, forget all your seventeenth century mindset and move the way the music leads you. Don't think!" Bella instructed.

I realized I'd been told not to think numerous times today, and smiled. I was still slightly nervous about all of this, and I think she felt it, so she took the lead. Her hands moved to my hips, which I must admit pleased me immensely, and she started pushing on them to show me how to move. And then her body started moving. How on earth would I get through this night if she was going to move like that? Her moves were so sensual, so un-Bella-like. It was just like she said - like she had forgotten herself completely. But I could see that she was enjoying it, so I decided to try to do the same.

A few songs later, I had all but forgotten where and who I was. The only thing on my mind was Bella, and how much she was tempting me. She had moved so that she was straddling my right leg and pressed close to my body. Her arms were around my neck, her eyes closed, and I could smell her arousal. I only hoped that she couldn't _feel_ mine. The way she was moving-I could feel her breasts against my stomach and her hips were rubbing against my legs. My primal vampire nature was desperate for her - not for her blood, but her body. I was fighting off the urge to make her mine in the middle of the dance floor. I thought my head would explode.

When I heard a low growl issuing from my throat, I decided that I needed to step away for a moment to get a handle on myself, so I leaned into her and asked if she was ready for a drink. She nodded, and I led her to the bar.

"What would you like Bella?"

"Um, I think I'll have...a screaming orgasm."

I have never been so glad that vampires cannot blush.

"What?"

"It's a mixed drink, Carlisle. I'm not propositioning you at the bar!"

_Too bad, Bella, because I really wanted to comply._

I got her the drink and we went back to our table for her to enjoy it.

"So," I asked, "Did you purposely pick the drink with the most embarrassing name for me to order?"

"No," she answered, matter-of-factly. Then she smiled. "Rose did. On my twenty-first birthday. Everyone got to pick a drink for me to order, and she and Emmett were trying to make me blush. But it turned out to be delicious. I'd offer you a taste, but I doubt you'd enjoy it." She smirked at me, and I returned it.

"No, it looks a bit... fruity... for my taste. I prefer something a bit... wilder."

We both laughed, and I reveled at the sound of her laughter.

"So what do you think of dancing so far?"

"I think you were right-this is as far from the waltz as we could possibly get. But I have to say, I am enjoying myself. It's almost like hunting."

"How so?"

"When we hunt, we let go of ourselves, and turn over to the animal instincts. We don't think, we just do what our body directs us to do."

"Yeah, I guess that would be a good comparison." She leaned into me and whispered huskily into my ear. "You must be a very good hunter, then, because you are an excellent dancer."

"As are you, sweetheart. You are amazing out there... so sexy! Truly, if I didn't know that I came here with you, I might have doubted that it was Bella Swan on the dance floor."

She blushed and looked down at the table. I put my hand up to cup her cheek, kissing her gently.

"I meant it in a good way, Bella. I remember when you were a shy and clumsy girl, and wouldn't have danced that way in front of anyone, at least not without injuring yourself. But the woman who was on the dance floor with me, she was something entirely different. You're more confidant now, more mature... It suits you."

A few minutes later, she finished her drink, and I led her back out onto the dance floor. This time, I was excited to be there. I wanted to see her dance again, and I was thrilled to be the one she danced with. Once again, we met the others in the center of the floor, but this time the girls stopped dancing for a moment to address Bella. The next thing I knew, I was standing to the side with my sons, watching as the three girls danced with each other.

As we stood there watching them rubbing against each other, Emmett leaned over and whispered in my ear.

"It's hot, isn't it?"

I wasn't sure how to answer. One the one hand, I considered two of the three my daughters. On the other, Bella dancing between the two of them had rapidly returned me to my previous state of arousal.

"Very," I answered truthfully. "But, son, what do we do about the, uh, consequences of the hotness?"

Emmett grinned at me. "Just tuck it in Dad, and have a good time. Don't worry about it-everybody in this club is horny! That's why Jasper and Alice always go running upstairs the second they get home from dancing."

I laughed with him, enjoying this moment of just being one of the boys.

When the song ended, Bella came back to dance with me. I put my hands on her back and pulled her closer until she was pressed against me. Between her performance with the girls, dancing with her this way and the feeling of her body, it was becoming more than I could handle. Despite giving my body over to the music as Bella had instructed, some part of my mind was still consciously trying to prevent me from acting out my desires and taking her right there in the middle of the club.

A couple of songs later, the smell of Bella's arousal hit my nose again. That was when the limit on my control was breached. I crashed my lips against hers, immediately begging for entrance with my tongue. I left one hand of her hip, but brought the other one up her back until I reached her neck, supporting her head against my assault. The kiss was deep and primal, and I my tongue seeking out every millimeter of her mouth, leaving no space unexplored. I pulled her hips into me with my hand, making sure she knew how much I wanted her. She moaned loudly as she felt my hard length press against her, and her noise caused my own groan. I released her lips, giving her a chance to catch her breath, and moved my mouth to her ear. I licked her lobe, then trailed my tongue all the way down her neck, stopping at her pulse point where I sucked her salty skin into my mouth. She breathed my name, and I left her neck to capture her lips again.

Suddenly, I was bumped hard from behind, and I heard a voice, speaking too low for humans to hear. "Carlisle! Snap out of it!" It was Jasper, who had obviously recognized my lust-filled haze and my intent on having Bella right then and there. His voice was enough to remind me of my surroundings, and I shook my head, then leaned back down to Bella, pressing my lips against her ear.

"Truly, Bella, you are killing me."

She pulled her head back in shock and stopped moving. "What is it, Carlisle? Am I doing something wrong?"

I pulled her back into me. "No, you are doing everything right. I want to be a gentleman, but you are making it nearly impossible. Can we go outside and talk, please?"

"Of course," she replied, nervousness in her voice.

We walked out of the club into the fresh night air, which immediately helped clear my mind. This was not how I wanted to behave, I needed her to know how I felt.

"Forgive me, Bella. I didn't mean to disrupt your evening."

"Carlisle, it's ok. Just tell me what's wrong, please."

"Oh, Bella, there's nothing wrong, I promise. I just... Well, the dancing... and...

_Oh god, I am stuttering now? Come on, Carlisle! Get your act together!_

"Carlisle, it's ok. Just say whatever you want to say. I'm not going to freak out, I promise."

"Bella, sweetheart, it was just so much! I want to be with you, so badly. Seeing you dance like that, in that dress... God, I have never been so aroused! You are the sexiest creature imaginable, Isabella Swan, and it is nearly impossible to remain a gentleman while looking at you!

But I don't want you to think this is just about sex for me. I swear to you, Bella, it's not. Don't doubt how much I want you, because I swear to you, I've been having trouble thinking of anything but making you mine all day. But what I feel for you, it's more than that. I don't want you as just my lover, I want you as my everything!"

She didn't answer me. Not with words, in any case. As soon as I stopped speaking she threw her arms around my neck, pulled me down so that she could reach my face, and pressed her lips to mine. I was sure I could hear the hallelujah chorus in my head as we kissed. It was gentle, it was sweet. It was more than what I hoped for. Her lips were so soft, so warm, and they molded around my hard ones so effortlessly. It was heaven.

(BPOV)

_Oh my god, this is so much better than I could have hoped for!_

Finally regaining my senses, I pulled away from Carlisle and rested my forehead against his, needing to catch my breath.

"Carlisle, I have waited so long for you to say those words to me. I feel exactly the same way!"

He cupped my cheeks in his hands and pulled my face back to his. His lips met mine again. This kiss was romantic, loving. As his lips caressed mine, he moved his hands, one resting on my back and the other tangled into my hair at the base of my neck. His lips slowed, finally pulling my lower lip between them and sucking it before he released it.

All too soon, he pulled away from my lips, and leaned his cheek onto the top of my head.

"Oh Bella, you are such a wonderful woman. Thank you, for waiting for me."

"I would have waited forever for you, Carlisle, but I'm so glad I didn't have to. You're the only one I want, the only one I even see."

He caught my lips with his again and I melted into him. A moment later, we were brought out of our haze by a wolf whistle and applause. Knowing exactly who was coming, I buried my face in Carlisle's chest.

I could hear Emmett's laugh as they approached. "Way to go Dad!" He called.

Carlisle laughed gently and rubbed one hand on my back.

"Ok, show's over kids," he said. Then he leaned down and put his lips next to my ear. "Come on Bella, let's go home."

**A/N: What did you think? Hope you enjoyed seeing Carlisle loosen up a bit! I don't know about you, but in the books he always seems (because of his behavior) much older than 23, thus Bella's "old man lessons". And really, what's better than sexy Carlisle?**

**Links:**

**. Bella's club dress**

**. Rosalie's club dress**

**. Alice's club dress**


	21. 19 Afterglow

**A/N: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. **

**Hope you all are still enjoying...**

**Here's the next chapter, it's important in that it fills in the blanks on why Carlisle is so different than Edward in terms of his relationship with Bella. Enjoy!**

Chapter 19: Afterglow

CPOV

When we left Club Electra, I was elated. It had been far too long since I'd felt such pure, unadultered joy. Bella had quickly taken over ever facet of my being. I needed every part of her - her mind, her body, her heart. And even having all three, I still didn't think I could ever get enough. But I knew I'd never stop trying.

I would not let go of her tiny hand in the car, unwilling to lose contact with her even for a moment. When we arrived back at the house, I opened her car door and led her to the house with one arm around her waist. Not wanting to be too tempted to have the conversation I wished to have with her, I led her to the couch in my study rather than my bedroom. I was desperate for the softness and warmth of her lips already, after only being seperated from them for thirty-three minutes. I sat down on the couch first and pulled her into my lap, wanting her as close as she could be, and let my lips roam over her face and neck before finally arriving at her lips, kissing her softly.

After taking a few minutes to savor her luscious flavor, I reluctantly pulled myself away. I took her hands in my own and looked directly into her eyes. "Sweetheart, in the past three and a half years, you've been my best friend. It was over two years ago that I started to know that I wanted more than that with you, but I was too afraid of what that might mean to act on my feelings. Luckily for me, I have a wonderful family and a good friend who helped me understand. Since Esme died, many women have passed before me, many have tried to attract my attention. But you are the only woman I have _seen_, Isabella. I've felt this for so long now, and I can't hold it in any longer. I love you, Isabella Marie Swan. I am completely and unconditionally in love with you."

Tears rolled down her cheeks, but a smile lit up her eyes. "Oh Carlisle, I love you too! I have loved you for so long already, but still it grows deeper every day. I'm so glad to finally say it to you, honey. I love you with my whole heart."

I let go of her hands and threw my arms around her, pulling her to me. I pressed my lips to hers and kissed her slowly, gently, letting her feel my love through my lips. We kissed like that for what seemed like hours, and I felt a fullness in my heart knowing that she loved me.

BPOV

Never have more beautiful words been spoken that when Carlisle told me that he loved me. Those three words were what I had dreamt of for years, and the dream had finally come true. As he kissed me afterwards, there was no urgency, no need in it. These kisses were pure love, a way for us to physically communicate what laid in our hearts. It was beautiful.

Finally, the combination of jet lag and lethargy from the long day caught up with me, and I was struggling to keep my eyes opened. Carlisle noticed, of course, and told me that it was time for me to sleep.

"Sweetheart, I could kiss you all night, but you must get some rest," he said gently, speaking into my hair as his cheek lay across the top of my head.

"I know, I just don't want to leave you yet," I replied sleepily.

"Bella, go get dressed for bed, and then come to my room. I promise you, I'll be nothing less than a complete gentleman, I only want to hold you, to let you sleep in my arms. I can't stand to be away from you now."

Of couse, he got no complaints from me.

CPOV

I was still holding her in my arms at ten this morning, gazing down at her face, so peaceful in sleep, and enjoying the closeness of our bodies. I didn't want to awaken her, as I knew she was tired from the combination of the very late hour at which she slept and the time change from her travels.

I had spent the night contemplating every thing I wanted to do with her, every place I wanted to show her. I knew she wanted to be changed, and I had long since agreed to do so. As much as I hated the idea of condemning someone to this life, it was her choice, and I wouldn't, couldn't deny her. I truly believed that she'd be happy as a vampire. There was also the more selfish part of me couldn't stand the idea of her dying someday and leaving me alone.

However, I knew that, at least in the beginning, there would be so many things that she wouldn't be able to do anymore, and I didn't want her to miss out on opportunities. I started a mental list of places to take her while she was still human: sporting events, concerts, the theater, dancing, restaurants... I'd let her try anything she wanted. All I wanted to do was make this woman happy.

As I lay there holding my precious Bella in my arms, lost in my own thoughts, I noticed her breathing beginning to change, announcing to me that she was waking. I looked down at her face, not wanting to miss my first chance at gazing into her depthless eyes. A moment later, I was rewarded for my efforts.

"Well, _this_ is a nice way to wake up," she said with a grin.

"Yes, my dear, that it certainly is."

"You didn't actually wake up," she pointed out.

"No, I did not. But it was wonderful to watch you do so. I very much enjoyed holding you last night."

"I was asleep, but I can promise you that I enjoyed it anyways."

She blushed, making me smile. I took the opportunity to lean my face down to hers and give her a gentle kiss.

"I'm so glad you're home, Bella."

"So am I."

"Don't ever leave me for so long again. It's too hard to be away from you."

"I couldn't agree more. I'll be here as long as you'll have me, Carlisle."

"Then you'd better prepare for a very, very long stay," I said, kissing her again.

BPOV

This morning, Carlisle's kisses were soft like last night, and just as perfect as well. There are no words to describe how it feels to have such a man kiss you like this. It was easy to forget that he was a vampire - the only reminder was just the temperature of his lips. But that was confusing to me, because my previous experience was quite different. Finally, my curiosity got the best of me, and I disengaged my lips.

"Carlisle? Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course, dear. What's on your mind?"

"Well, I was wondering about something. Kissing you. It's wonderful, don't get me wrong. It's better than any dream. But... Why is it so easy for you? Edward always had to pull away, but you don't."

"There are several reasons, Bella, each of them equally as important as the next. Obviously, it is highly unusual for a vampire and a human to have any sort of romantic or sexual involvement. In the vast majority of such cases, the vampire usually drinks the human at the end of, or even during, the sexual encounter. The only cases that I've heard of with successful results are those of the Denali sisters and their many human conquests. You being Edward's singer only compounded the usual problem of bloodlust, because it was that much stronger.

Also, as you have seen much evidence to prove, vampires are immensely strong. It takes much practice and effort for us to move around in the human world as we do. Such a simple act as holding a pencil is actually quite difficult in the beginning, because if we were to use our normal strength, the pencil would be a pile of dust the moment we touched it. You, as a human, have experienced vampire strength and lived through it, so you have some idea what I am referring to.

So imagine, to be with a human, a vampire would have to concentrate very hard on controlling both their strength and their bloodlust. When we were kissing in the club last night, how many things did you think about?"

"None that I can remember."

"Exactly. In the heat of the passion, it's nearly impossible to think of anything at all. That is why Edward was so afraid. It would have been easy for him to hurt or kill you if he lost his concentration, and that concentration is nearly impossible to hold onto. Edward was a very controlled vampire, perhaps the best I've ever seen in my life. But he was also very inexperienced in the matters of love. You are aware that he was a virgin. Having no idea what he might feel might once he let himself get caught up with you, it was simply too dangerous to risk."

"Ok, I understand all of that. So why is it so easy for you? I mean, I know you have experience, but still, doesn't the rest still apply to you?"

"It would, if I were a regular vampire. But how many vampires do you know who work as trauma surgeons? Blood has no call for me anymore, not even yours, sweet though it may be. Even in the trauma room, I feel no burn in my throat from the blood. That combined with over two hundred years of living in the human world, my strength automatically remains at human level unless I consciously make it otherwise. And, as you mentioned, I have some experience, so I know what to expect.

But I will be honest with you. Lust and desire are very powerful emotions for vampires. Sexual lust draws out our more animalistic instincts, just like bloodlust. Last night, in the club, just before we went outside? I was lost. The only thoughts in my head were of you and the things that I wanted to do to you. I had quite literally forgotten where we were in those moments, and if it hadn't been for Jasper, I may have taken you, there on the dance floor. And I don't doubt that you would have allowed it, as you were as lost as I was. You could have been my undoing, Bella, if I had any less control than I do."

"You are really amazing, Carlisle," I said, genuinely.

"As are you, Bella dear, as are you. Do you have any other questions this morning?"

"No, I think that's all for now."

"Very well. I, however, have a question for you."

"Oh. Ok," I replied, surprised and curious.

"Last night, as you slept, I was thinking about how much I enjoyed your lesson in being a young man at the club, and I was wondering if I might be able to arrange for some private tutoring in the future?"

He looked adorable as he said it, almost shy.

"Don't tell me that I turned Dr Carlisle Cullen into a club king?" I teased.

"No, no, I was thinking maybe there were other ways to act my age that you could show me. Although I will admit that I thoroughly enjoyed dancing with you last night, and you will never hear me complain about doing that again."

"I enjoyed it too. And I'm sure we can arrange those lessons. How about on Saturdays, since you are off work?"

"That sounds fair. Shall we discuss payment?"

"I think that your kisses are payment enough. Perhaps I could get an advance on my salary?" I asked coyly.

We both laughed heartily before he returned his lips to mine, and I found myself once again spiraling through bliss .

**A/N: Like it? I hope so!**

**Next up: Bella has plans for her man.**


	22. 20 The Carnival

**A/N: Still don't own it.**

**Ok, this chapter I suppose could be referred to as fluff, but it's fun, I think. And there's flirty Carlisle, which in my opinion, is always worth reading... **

**Enjoy!**

Chapter 20: The Carnival

BPOV

One week after our night at the club, Carlisle and I had our first "old man lesson." Part of me thought that the whole idea of the lessons was ridiculous, but the rest of me understood that it was a chance for us to have fun together and for him to learn how to loosen up a little. I could probably use a few of these lessons myself, after all, I had always acted like an adult and according to my siblings, never had any fun. But, Carlisle had asked me to "teach" him. And really, who would pass up a chance to spend time with this man? Not me! Between his work at the hospital and my classes, plus the time I had to devote to working on my thesis, and all my wasted hours sleeping, we had much too little time together already. When I thought about it that way, I was really happy that we had set aside this time for each other.

I had informed Carlisle this morning, when I once again woke up in his arms, that our lesson would begin at five tonight. I had planned this evening with Alice and left her in charge of dressing Carlisle. As sexy as he looks in the "thirty-something Dr. Cullen" style he typically wears, I told her to change it up for me and dress him like the twenty-three year old that he is. If there's anything I learned from Alice over the years, it's to dress the part. I was not disappointed when I entered the living room at a quarter to five and found him waiting for me. He was wearing a pair of darker wash boot cut jeans and a turquoise crew neck sweater over a turquoise and cream striped button down worn so that the tails and collars stuck out from under the sweater. He even had on a pair of cream-colored pair of Sketcher's slip-on sport shoes. I'd never seen him look so casual to go out before, and he looked ridiculously attractive.

Alice and I had compromised on my style a long time ago, and though she had chosen my outfit for tonight, I had to admit it was easily something I would have picked for myself. She had paired dark, low riding boot cut jeans with a berry-colored deep v-neck sweater worn over a lace camisole in the same shade. I had on a pair of cute brown ballet flats, and my hair was pulled into a low ponytail. I could see from Carlisle's expression when I entered that he approved of my outfit as well.

I was rewarded for my punctuality with a bonus fifteen minutes to spend kissing him. God, I loved kissing this man. It's amazing how, just with his lips, despite the fact that they never traveled lower than my collarbone, he could make me feel it all the way to my toes. I was lost when his lips were on mine - no thoughts made themselves known in my head, and I am pretty sure that the world could collapse around us without me taking notice. When he kissed me, there was only me and him.

Unfortunately, the clock began to chime, informing us that it was five o'clock, and he pulled away from me.

"As much as I love kissing you, sweetheart, I believe we had plans for five o'clock?"

I grumbled a little, but allowed him to lead me out to the Mercedes.

"So where are you taking me tonight?" He asked as he opened the passenger door for me.

I flashed him a big grin. "There's a carnival in Lebanon this week, and I thought we could go check it out. It's just a little one, from what I heard on campus. A few decent rides and a bunch of games designed to steal your money. I think it will be a lot of fun - I haven't been to a carnival since I lived in Phoenix!"

"I always have fun with you, Bella."

"The feeling is mutual," I replied, winking. "But this is a way to have fun _outside_ of the house..." I giggled and gave him a quick kiss before he shut my door.

The drive to Lebanon only takes about twenty minutes when you have a vampire behind the wheel, so we arrived in downtown by 5:30. Carlisle opened my door for me after parking the car, and we walked hand in hand into the carnival. We walked down the midway, looking at all the games that were offered. I explained to Carlisle that these games were basically a scam, because no one ever won, and if you did, if was usually after spending a ridiculous amount of money and, for that investment, you would win a very small stuffed toy. He laughed and asked if that was a challenge.

I flashed him a big smile. "If that's how you want to take it, sure. It's not like you don't have money to waste."

He took the bait and walked up to the very first booth, which was a game in which he was required to throw a baseball at three stacked milk bottles and knock them all off of the stool they were stacked on. He gave me a disbelieving look.

"Seriously, Bella? How hard can this be? You've seen me play baseball before."

"Yes, I have..." Then I leaned closer so I could whisper in his ear, taking a moment to nibble on the lobe while I was there, just to tease him. "But how are you going to explain vampire speed to the carny?"

"Watch and learn, dear Bella," he replied, turning his face towards me just enough to give me a short kiss.

With all the confidence he possessed, Carlisle set two dollars on the counter and picked up the first ball, throwing it in a way that would rival a major league pitcher. It hit dead center, and all three bottles flew clear across the booth. I was shocked. The carny, however, looked rather impressed, and Carlisle just looked smug. I thought it was probably the first time I'd ever seen such an expression on his face.

"Hey man, I've never seen anyone do that so well before. What do you say to double or nothing? You win again, I'll give you the biggest prize I've got."

I should have guessed that Carlisle liked to gamble just as much as his sons. He threw another two dollars on the counter and picked up the second ball. Once again, he knocked the bottles across the booth.

Flashing me a killer smile, he looked at the carny, whose face reflected a mixture of shock and admiration, and said, "We'll take the big bear. Thanks."

As we walked away from the booth carrying a stuffed bear half the size of Alice, I grinned at him. "Showing off a bit tonight, Dr Cullen?" I teased.

He laughed and wrapped his empty arm around me, winking. "I was just teaching you a lesson." Then he leaned down, bringing his lips to my ear in the way that he knows makes me crazy. "Never underestimate me," he whispered huskily.

A shiver went down my spine that had nothing to do with the cold. It amazed me, the effect this man could have on me without lifting a finger.

We tried our hand at several more games. I was determined to find one in which his vampire skills wouldn't give him an advantage, but I was at a a loss. Stupid vampires...perfect at everything.

"Come on, let's go on some rides before we run out of hands for our menagerie," I laughed, dragging him by his hand to the Tilt-o-Whirl.

Standing in line, he observed the ride when it started, and then turned to look at me with his eyebrow raised. "Won't you get dizzy?" He asked.

"Yes, but that's kind of the point."

"As long as you don't get sick. I'd still like to kiss you tonight."

"Well," I said, lowering my voice, "I would like _that _very much. I don't think you have anything to fear though, I've ridden this a million times."

Our turn on the ride was next, and it was filled with squeals from me and laughter from Carlisle, who had taken it upon himself to make it spin as fast as he could. He had to hold me steady as we exited the ride, but it was worth it to be encased in his arms once again.

We tried out a few more rides, although Carlisle refused to take me on two, saying they were obviously unsafe, especially for a danger magnet like me. I scowled at the implications, but didn't question the validity.

Since it was getting late, we decided to choose one last ride before going home, and agreed upon the ferris wheel. I've always heard that they are romantic, and I was not disappointed. Of course, I think Carlisle could be romantic under any circumstances. The ride was enjoyable, but I think that the feeling of his lips on mine while the wind was blowing through my hair is what made it magnificent.

As we walked back to the car, I thought about how much of the evening he had spent laughing and smiled. He hadn't seemed uncomfortable at all, and I was pleased. All that I wanted in the world right now was to make his glorious man happy.

We arrived at the house and it was completely silent. I gave Carlisle a questioning glance.

"Hunting trip. Alice's little gift to us was to take a hunting trip on Saturdays for awhile so we could have some much needed privacy."

"Oh really?" I replied, my voice suddenly lower and huskier. "And what do you plan on doing with such privacy?"

Rather than answer, he scooped me up into his arms bridal style and ran into his room. He laid me down on the bed and hovered over me, his hands on either side of my face. "I plan on enjoying it," he whispered into my ear.

In my mind, I could think of all sorts of ways to enjoy our privacy, but I had little hope that any of them would happen tonight. And really, that was okay with me. For now, at least, I was content with where we were. Even though we were only kissing, it was intensely passionate, and I loved every second of it.

Two hours later found me breathless and exhausted with swollen lips from kissing. Carlisle, being attentive as always, noticed.

"It's alright, my sweet Bella, you sleep now. Rest your head here on my shoulder and dream sweet dreams for me." He gave me one last light kiss on the top of my head as I felt myself drifting away.

CPOV

As Bella slept that evening, I thought back on our evening together. I had never been to a carnival like the one we attended, and I found that it was really a pleasant experience. I loved seeing Bella's brow furrow as she tried to choose a game that would challenge me. And her smile on the Tilt-o-Whirl... She was gorgeous. As we walked down the midway, I saw several young men admiring her, but I didn't let it bother me. I was proud to walk down that street with her - to be the one that she had chosen when she clearly had many available options, it was astounding. And to have her love, well, that was the best feeling in the world.

I remembered back to the night of the end of term dance in Glasgow, when Jasper had worked so hard to try to make me feel comfortable attending. At the time, I was uncomfortable, thinking I was too old for such things. But after tonight, and last weekend as well, I'm starting to understand that I can be mature without being old, and I can have fun and not have to give up on myself to do it. I loved Bella even more for showing me that.

I glanced down at her sleeping form, and noticed that her lips were still rather swollen from the hours I spent lavishing them with attention. I also saw the small round mark I had left near her collarbone, marking her as mine. It was unintentional, but I had to admit, the sight of it there did nothing less than re-ignite my lust. Of course, my desire had been at a rather elevated level constantly since Bella returned last week. I had noticed Jasper's teasing glances and raised eyebrows when we were in the room together, but I wasn't bothered. Kissing her was mind-blowing, but I wanted more. I wanted her. And I wasn't sure how much longer I would be able to control myself. The constant teasing was going to lead to spontaneous combustion sometime in the very near future, of that I was sure. For Bella, though, I could handle it. I could handle anything for her.

**A/N: Well, that's it for lesson 1. Hope it was enjoyable.**

**Next up: Someone's coming to visit...**


	23. 21 Visiting

**A/N: Twilight still belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Ok, back by popular demand.....Drama! But first, a little, uh, **_bonding_** time. ;)**

Chapter 21: Visiting

BPOV

It was highly unusual that Carlisle had a day off work during the week, but through a series of favors done for a fellow doctor, he found himself with nowhere to go this morning. Luckily enough, it was a Wednesday, and my extremely light class schedule this term meant I also found myself home. And we were alone, as the rest of the family _did_ have classes. Thus, when I woke up in Carlisle's arms as I always did these days, I proclaimed that the whole morning should be spent in bed.

"But sweetheart, you need to eat," Carlisle reminded between kisses. "Let me bring you breakfast, and then I promise not to leave this room again."

I wanted to argue, but my traitorous stomach betrayed me as always, growling loudly. Carlisle laughed, and I grumbled my acceptance of his terms.

While he was in the kitchen, I took the opportunity to have a human moment. By the time I was finished, Carlisle was sitting on the end of our bed, holding a silver tray. On the tray was a bowl of fresh fruit salad, two slices of cinnamon toast, a glass of milk, and a small vase holding freshly cut tulips from the backyard. _Gotta love vampire speed._

Once I was finished with my breakfast, I set the tray on the dresser and returned to the bed.

"I believe you made me a promise, Dr. Cullen," I said in a throaty voice.

"Oh, I do believe you are correct, Miss Swan," he replied, rolling over so that he was hovering over my body.

He lowered his lips to mine and began kissing me gently, but quickly deepened his kiss as my fingers knotted in his golden waves. A moment later, his tongue licked along my bottom lip and I opened for him to allow his entry. As his tongue swept around inside my mouth, I could taste his delicious flavor and it made me moan lightly.

He leaned his weight onto one arm and brought the opposite hand up to caress my cheek. His lips left mine, then, and pressed kisses onto my skin in a path along the line of my jaw until he reached my ear, which he lightly sucked into his mouth. I moaned again, louder than before.

"Mmmm... Carlisle..." I responded as he licked along my earlobe.

"Bella..." He whispered into my ear, though it was barely audible, I could hear that it was laced with want.

I pulled myself up just enough that I could reach his neck, and nuzzled my face into it. I pressed an open mouthed kiss onto his sweet skin, and, reveling in the taste, let my tongue slide out and lick all the way up to his jaw. I heard him groan as he pulled away from my ear and crashed his mouth into mine once again.

His tongue wasn't slow this time, not requesting my permission to enter, but rather pushed its way through my lips into my waiting mouth. His kiss was deep and full of desire, his tongue battling with mine for dominance, which I finally conceded to him. I brought one of my hands out of his hair and grabbed his back roughly, trying to dig my nails into his marble skin. He growled lightly - _God that's sexy!_ - and I moaned his name in response.

He pulled back from the kiss again, and licked his way down to my collarbone, sucking lightly on the skin just above it. He released the skin and his voice came out in a throaty whisper.

"God, Bella, do you know how much I want you?"

"I'm yours, Carlisle... You have me. Do anything you want," I answered, breathlessly. I wanted him too, desperately.

His hand ghosted over my tank top, barely grazing my breast, to the hem of my shirt. I moaned in encouragement - he had never done this before, but I didn't want him to stop now. I thought I might explode if he did.

When he didn't move again, I opened my eyes and looked down at him. I could see that he was peering up at me, questioning me with his eyes. I knew he wanted my permission, so I nodded my assent. With that, he lifted the bottom of my shirt and pressed light kisses, almost tickling me, across my stomach. I gasped when he reached my belly button and felt his tongue trace a circle around it before plunging inside.

"Ah... Bella... you're delicious." He breathed.

As his mouth concentrated on the long-ignored skin of my lower abdomen, lavishing it with kisses and licks, his hands slid agonizingly slowly up my sides, pushing the tank top up as they moved, until they found the swell of my breasts and turned in, cupping them in his palms. His fingers found the nipples and circled them several times before finally running right over them. They hardened at his cold touch, and I moaned deeply in response.

The fire in my belly was burning hot now, and I felt a tightening there. My desperation for him had reached epic proportions, but I was so enraptured by his touch that I couldn't move to do anything about it.

With his mouth, he slowly, painstakingly, made it his way up my torso until he found the mound of my left breast. His tongue licked all the way around the circumference before finding its way to my nipple and flicking it. The chill of his tongue combined with its wetness was overwhelming, and I cried out his name.

He opened his mouth then and took the whole of my areola and nipple into his mouth, sucking lightly, humming his satisfaction. With his hand, he took the right breast and massaged it gently, flicking the nipple lightly with his fingertip.

"Oh god... Carlisle...ugh!"

As his mouth left my breast, I heard him whisper, "I love you, Isabella," before descending onto the opposite side. Again, he used his hand to keep the other breast company. The coil in my abdomen was so tight now, I could barely take it for another second. I slipped my hands under his arms and tugged. I couldn't physically move him, but he understood.

Letting my nipple slide out of his mouth with a slight sucking noise, he returned his mouth hungrily to mine. I instantly opened my mouth to him, and his tongue feverishly explored it. I reached between us and began fumbling with the buttons of his shirt, needing to feel his cool skin against my very overheated body.

I finally reached the bottom button and then slid my hands up his torso and back to his shoulders, my mouth still on his, and pushed the shirt back and down his arms. He left my mouth for a second to sit up and pull the shirt all the way off before crashing back into me. I looked up into his eyes and saw that they were no longer golden, but onyx, and knew that his desire equalled my own. I ghosted my hands back down over his smooth chest, taking in with awe his finely chiseled pecs and abs. He shivered lightly, and I heard a purring sound coming from deep within his chest. His mouth left mine and he sighed.

"Bella, you have no idea how that feels," he said, his voice dripping with need.

I slid my body down slightly in the bed so that I could worship his chest with my mouth as he had done for me. I licked my way from one shoulder to the other before making a trail down to his nipple, which I flicked with my tongue. He groaned deeply, and I continued my ministrations on the opposite nipple.

When I released it, he came down the bed to meet my mouth with his again. His kiss was fervent and encompassing, and all I wanted was more.

We heard the phone ring then, and I groaned.

"Ignore it," he whispered into my mouth, still kissing me. I had no problem with that.

He continued to kiss me, his hands in my hair. I let my hands run down his back, barely grazing his cold skin with my nails. When I reached his firm, sexy ass, I cupped it in both hands and moaned. He responded by pushing his hips into me, and I could feel his arousal pressing against me, exactly where I needed it, though our pants.

"Yes... Carlisle..... oh god...."

"Bella, I love you.... so much... ahhhh...."

We were both panting heavily as he continued to grind into me. It felt so damn good.

Then the phone rang again.

"Are you kidding me?" I yelled.

"Ssshhh, sweetheart, just ignore it. They'll give up."

I knew he was too caught up in the lusty haze that captivated us both to care, and so I listened to him. After all, I had no desire to stop. This felt too incredible.

I ran my fingers lightly up and down his back, still kissing him deeply as he rubbed his hard length against my core, making the coil in my stomach tighten even further, nearly at its limit.

"Oh... honey... so good... don't...stop" I panted.

"Bella, Bella... sweetheart.... ugh..." was his reply.

He reached down to my nipple again, and twirled it between his fingers.

"Carlisle... oh god... ugh... I'm... I'm..."

"That's it, baby, let it go... come with me sweetheart..."

His tongue went up to my ear and thrust into it at the same time as his arousal thrust against my heat, and it was too much.

"Aaaahhhh! Carlisle!" I screamed, my body imploding and shooting me into oblivion.

"Bella! Oh god, Bella!" Carlisle cried out with me, as I felt his entire body tense. He collapsed onto the bed, half of his body laying on top of mine, his head nestled into the crook of my neck.

Both of us were breathing heavily, and neither of us moved.

"I love you, Carlisle," I whispered.

"I love you too, sweetheart. Truly," he answered.

We lay there for a minute before the phone rang again.

"Oh god, just answer it already!" I said, irritated by whoever was so determined to disturb my post-first orgasm ever bliss.

Carlisle reached over and picked up his phone. "Hello?.... For the love of God, Alice, what do you want?" I barely contained my laughter at the annoyance in his voice - it was a tone I had only heard from him once before. "Damnit!....Ok, thank you Alice.... yes...._Goodbye Alice_."

"What was that?" I asked.

"Your mother will be arriving in less than two minutes. You need to..." He looked back at me, taking in my appearance. "Get dressed. And you should probably fix your hair," he added with a grin. "I'll just, uh, take a quick shower, then I'll meet you downstairs."

He gave me a quick kiss and then I raced to my room.

I barely had time to slip into a pair of khaki pants and a white tank top before the doorbell rang. I grabbed my purple sweater and threw it on, buttoning it on my way down the stairs. I opened the door, and there was Renee.

"Mom! What a surprise!" I exclaimed.

"Oh, baby girl! It's so good to see you," she cried as she threw her arms around me, hugging me tight. "I tried to call a few times, but you didn't answer."

"Oh...yeah... Sorry, Mom. I was probably still asleep. I was up late working on my thesis," I lied.

"It's alright baby. At least that explains your hair."

I turned my head to the side, catching my reflection in the mirror, and snorted. I most definitely had a bad case of "bed head," though not for the reason I gave my mother. I pulled my brush out of my pocket and tried to tame my hair as quickly as possible.

"Yeah... Well, come on in Mom." I led my mom into the living room and we both sat down. "So, what are you doing here Mom? I mean, I'm thrilled to see you, but it's not like Hanover is down the street from Jacksonville."

She grinned. "Actually, I came up with Phil - he had an interview for a coaching job with the New Hampshire Fisher Cats not too far from here, so I got a rental and drove over to see you."

"Wow, Mom, that's great."

At that moment, Carlisle emerged from his bedroom. He winked at me before my mom turned to greet him. They had met once before, when I was hurt in Phoenix, so there was no need to make introductions.

"Can I get you anything, Renee?" He asked politely.

"Sure, I'll have some juice if you've got any."

"Of couse," he replied, walking out of the room.

He returned a moment later with three glasses of juice and handed one to my mother and set the other two on the coffee table before taking a seat next to me and slipping his arm behind me to wrap it around my waist. I leaned into his embrace, but then saw the look on my mom's face. _Oh crap, I forgot she didn't know about us._ She raised her eyebrow at me and cocked her head to the side, asking without words for me to explain myself.

_Ok, Bella, you're a grown up. There's no reason to be afraid. Just take a deep breath and tell her the truth._

"So Mom, Carlisle and I are together now," I explained, resting my hand on his, partly out of affection, but also for the sake of moral support.

My mother did not look pleased. Not in the slightest. This was not something I knew how to deal with, as I'd so rarely ever seen her go into "mommy mode."

"What exactly do you mean by that?" She asked, her voice a bit strained as if she were trying to keep it controlled.

"Mrs. Dwyer," Carlisle responded, obviously trying to placate my mother with good manners. "What Bella meant was that she and I are seeing each other, and very much in love."

My mothers face was a combination of shock and horror. I didn't understand her reaction at all.

"Mom? Why are you upset?"

"How can you ask me that Isabella? What do you think you are doing, dating a man who is nearly as old as your parents?"

"Mom, I say this with all the respect in the world, but how old are you? 42? And how old is Phil? 31? Why is it okay for you and not for me?"

Carlisle was squeezing my hand, silently begging me to stay calm. Where, oh where, was Jasper?

"Bella, go to your room. I need to speak with Dr. Cullen."

"Mom, anything you want to say... " I began before Carlisle cut me off.

"Sweetheart, go upstairs please. Let your mother say what she needs to say to me, I'll be fine." He stroked my cheek once with his hand, his eyes pleading.

"Fine, I'll go. But, mom, please calm down. Carlisle was right when he said we were in love. I love him, Mom, more than anything. Please try to understand that." With that said, I turned and walked back up the stairs to my bedroom.

CPOV

I sent Bella upstairs with the knowledge that Renee was not taking the news well and was most likely going to lash out. I didn't want my Bella to have to see that happen. Surely, once Renee had gotten over the shock, she would be accepting. I had never even considered that she might have a problem with this, being as free-spirited as she is, and considering her own marriage. After all, even Charlie had accepted Bella and myself being together.

"Alright, Mrs. Dwyer, Bella is away now, please say anything you like," I said, making sure to be extremely polite.

"Don't Mrs. Dwyer me, Carlisle. You are all of a few years younger than I am!"

I could see that she was very close to screaming, so I made no reply and simply waited for her to continue.

"What kind of man are you, taking advantage of a young, vulnerable girl like this?"

"I'm sorry, Renee, I don't understand?"

"My daughter may be mature in most ways, but not when it comes to love. Your son was the only boy she ever had a relationship with! Then he died, and the next thing we knew, she's moving in with you and your family. Now, nearly four years later, I find out that you two are involved? How long has this been going on? Since he died, or was it before that? Did you cheat on your wife with her?"

"Absolutely not. First of all, I loved Esme dearly, I never would have done such a thing to her. And second, I am not the type of man who would commit adultery. I am thirty-eight years old, Renee, that's true. But I have _only_ ever been intimate with my late wife. I do not believe in having sexual relationships outside of marriage. I have _never_, and would never, take advantage of Bella." I was lucky that I could not blush, as a rush of shame over what had happened moments before Renee's arrival came over me. But I concealed it and continued to look Renee in the eye. "Bella and I have only been involved romantically for a few months, though we've both had feelings for each other for much longer. I love your daughter, Renee, and I want to make her my wife someday soon."

Renee looked at me with contempt.

"Bella is too young to get married."

"With all due repect, Renee, Bella is a grown woman, soon to graduate from college. I believe she's old enough to make that decision for herself. And to be quite honest, Charlie Swan has already given me his approval."

"HE DID WHAT?" Renee yelled.

"I flew to Forks in January and asked his permission to court Bella with the intention of marriage. He gave it to me," I said, hoping my own calm would help her to find her own again. Where the hell was Jasper when I needed him?

Renee's hands flew up to her hair and she tugged it a bit. "I can't deal with this. I have to go," she said, picking up her purse and walking towards the door.

"Please don't leave, Renee. I'll go, you can stay here with Bella."

"No. I can't. I can't deal with this now. I'm leaving," she said as she slammed the door behind her.

I felt awful at having been unable to calm her down. I knew Bella would be devastated, and I hated that. I wasn't sure what to say to her, so I sat down on the couch and put my head in my hands. It was only a minute before the front door opened again, and I looked up hopefully, thinking that maybe Renee had returned. It wasn't her, however. Instead, it was Alice, Jasper and Emmett.

"Dad, I'm sorry. We got here as fast as we could, but Rose had an exam and we had to wait for her," Alice said.

"Where is Rose?" I asked.

"She went after Renee. I can't See if it will help or not, because Renee hasn't made any decisions yet, but we're hopeful that Rose can bring her back."

"Thank you Alice. I'm sorry for being short with you this morning."

"It's ok, Carlisle... I understood," she replied, winking at me.

I sighed. "I better go upstairs and tell Bella what happened."

RPOV

It took me a few minutes to locate Renee after I left the house. It would have been easier if I was running, but it wouldn't look very human to chase down a car on foot. I caught up with her when she stopped at Starbucks, and followed her in.

I got in line behind her, and tapped her on the shoulder. "Mrs. Dwyer?" I asked.

She turned and looked at me, not quite sure whether she recognized me. "Yes."

"My name is Rosalie. I'm one of Carlisle's children. Can we talk?"

Renee sighed, but agreed. I walked over and got us a table while she waited for her order. When she came back to the table and sat down, I could see that she looked overwhelmed.

"All right Rosalie, say what you came to say."

"Look, Mrs. Dwyer, I'm not going to beat around the bush here. You and I both know why I'm here. Bella is a great girl, I love her like a sister. I have known her for the last six years, and watched her go through hell in that time. I've seen her grow up from a teenager to a woman. That's what she is now. She's a woman. She's not a little girl anymore - she's seen too much of the real world already. And I'm sure you know that she's always been a bit of a grown-up. She's mature enough to decide who to love, and she chose my dad.

They are so good together, Mrs. Dwyer. They make each other so happy. I've lived with the two of them ever since Esme and Edward died, so I can tell you this with absolute knowledge: since they've been together, they've remembered how to live again. I watched them both exist for three years, but now they are alive!

Please, come back to the house and give them a chance. See them, see how they are together. I will personally buy you a plane ticket back to Jacksonville if you'll stay for a few days. I'll do that because I am so sure that if you could just see them, that you'd be happy for them.

I promise, none of us will hold your initial reaction against you - it was a shock, and your reacted. To be honest, I didn't react all to well to Bella when Edward first brought her home. I was a real bitch actually. But when he died, and my mom died, I saw how Bella held us all together, how we all helped each other heal, and I realized how great she really was. And she treats me just like a sister, even after I was so awful to her for two years! She doesn't hold grudges, and neither do the rest of us. Just come back with me, please.

Do it for Bella, she loves you."

I gave her some time to consider my words. I didn't want to push her or make her feel cornered. Finally, she looked up from her cup.

EmPOV

Carlisle came back down from Bella's room after he explained what happened with her mom, and I could hear her in there crying. I don't like anything that makes my baby sister cry. So I decided to go in and give her some Emmett love.

"Little Sis, little sis, let me come in," I said, knocking on the door. It always made her laugh when I did the big bad wolf impression.

She didn't laugh, but I heard her mumble to come in anyways. When I opened the door, I saw her laying down on her bed with her face in the pillows. I could tell she way still crying. I went over and sat down beside her and rubbed her back for a minute.

"Don't worry Bells, everything will be alright. Rosie'll bring her back, you'll see."

Bella sat up and turned around on the bed so she was facing me.

"Emmett, why is love so hard for me? I mean, it was nearly impossible to convince Edward that we could be together, and then we faced challenge after challenge until he died. Now I have Carlisle, and once again, everything's going to stack against us. My mom thinks he's some kind of child molester or something for god's sake! Why is it so hard? Why can't it be easy like it was for you and Rose?"

I put my arm around her and pulled her into my lap.

"Sis, nothing worth anything is ever easy. You think me and Rosie had it easy? She carried me all mangled and bleeding for over a hundred miles while she was just out of the newborn stage - that should have been impossible! Then I had to go through 3 days of burning alive... Not as much fun as you might think. And then, I had to help Rosie deal with how she died - she didn't have a very good opinion of men back then. I had to prove to her that I was different, that I wouldn't hurt her. But I wouldn't change any of it for the world! Our life and our love may not have been easy, but I've had seventy-four years to be married to the woman I love, and that made it worth it.

Jasper and Alice are the same. Think about how hard it was for them. Alice sat in that diner forever waiting for him to just show up one day. He had to struggle like crazy to get over his bloodlust, and he did that for Alice. They fight because she has visions of him upsetting her in the future. Imagine - he gets in trouble BEFORE he does anything wrong!

Love isn't easy, squirt. If it was, everyone would have it and it wouldn't mean as much."

She looked up at me then, with a curious look in her eyes. I reached up and wiped away the tears still on her cheeks.

"Who knew you were so deep big brother?"

"Not many, sis, not many," I answered, laughing. "You just gotta remember, what you have with Carlisle, it's special. You can handle your mom - hell, you've faced vampires head on before. Vampires who wanted you dead. Surely that's scarier than Renee!"

"Yeah, I guess you're right Em. Do you really think Rose will get her to come back?"

"Yeah, I do. Come on, you know Rosie. She won't give up until she wins. If anything she'll just pick her up and carry her back!"

Finally, I got a laugh out of Bella, and knew I had completed my mission.

"Come on, little sis, there's a man downstairs who's waiting on you."

I picked her up and threw her over my shoulder, and carried her down to the living room squealing.

**A/N: Ok, that's it for this chapter. Imagine that, my first lemon and a cliffy, all in one chapter. Whew! Hope you're satisfied. **

**What do you think, will Renee come back and accept them?**

**I know it may seem like Renee was a bit out of character since she took Bella's engagement to Edward so easily in Breaking Dawn, but I can explain. With Edward, she saw it coming. She had gotten to know him a bit when she was in the hospital in Phoenix, and also when he went with her to Jacksonville. She saw them as a couple, and how mature and in love they were, and that's what made her okay with it. In this case, on the other hand, she just got blown out of the water. She walks in and finds her 22 year old daughter claiming to be in love with what Renee thinks is a 38 year old man who, as far as she knew, was like a father to Bella. She's a little freaked out. Thus the reaction. **

**Charlie, on the other hand, reacted well because he knew Carlisle well, and trusted him, and he had long since figured out that Bella knew what was right for her, so she trusted her too. Plus, she's his daughter, but he sees her every year and knows she's grown up now.**

**Anyways, hope you liked it.**

**Next up: Did Renee go back?**


	24. 21b Visiting, Part 2

**A/N: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer still. **

**Hope you are still enjoying. Thanks so much for your reviews, I've just passed the 100 mark and I'm thrilled. I really do pay attention to them, and I've even gone off my original story plan, rewriting several chapters, to accommodate some of the suggestion or comments that caught my eye. So keep them coming, please! **

**And now, without further ado, I offer this chapter tonight instead of tomorrow for the sake of MissJessica92, whose life I was unwilling to risk. ;)**

Chapter 21, Part 2: Visiting (Cont.)

CPOV

I was so relieved when Emmett came downstairs with a laughing Bella. When I left her in her room earlier, she was absolutely distraught over her mother's reaction to our relationship. I could only hope that Rosalie would be able to convince her to return to the house, and then maybe, with Jasper's assistance if need be, we could help her to understand. I hate that it's our human facade that is actually causing this problem, but I doubt Renee would prefer a vampire to an older man. I know that Bella will have to give up her parents eventually, since she is going to be a vampire, but I don't want it to happen so soon because of me.

Emmett set her down on the couch next to me, and I leaned over and kissed her softly on the forehead.

"Sweetheart, would you like to sit out in the tree swing for awhile? The weather is warmer today."

She agreed, and we walked out together. We sat down on the tree swing, the place where we had spent so many evenings over the past few years, one of the places where I had truly fallen in love with her. I held her close to me, the cold hardness of my body a comfort to her.

"I'm sorry today didn't go exactly as planned," I said softly.

"It's not your fault," she said, turning her face so that I could see the sincerity and love in her deep chocolate eyes. "My mother overreacted. It happens."

"I hope that, this morning... " I started.

"No, don't you dare apologize for this morning. That was wonderful. I've never felt that way before," she said adamantly. Then she leaned closer to me, bring her mouth to my ear. "And I wouldn't mind feeling that way again...and again...and again," she added huskily.

I chuckled. While I wholeheartedly agreed with her assessment, I had worried that I had crossed a line this morning while my head was clouded with lust. This woman could completely undo me, and it didn't take much effort of her part. Usually I was content with kissing her, and that had served as our limit. This morning, her tiny moan as I licked her earlobe - knowing that I caused that sound, that I pleased her in that way - sent me over the edge. It was a relief to know that she had enjoyed herself as much as I. And while slightly embarrassing, at my age and with my experience, to have quite literally come in my pants, I couldn't deny how good it felt to finally feel the release after so long. That it was with Bella only made it that much more powerful.

I turned my face towards her and brought my lips to hers, already desperate for more of her sweet flavor and softness. Bella's hand came up to cup my cheek, and she poured her love into our kiss. While the hard, passionate kissing of this morning definitely had it's place in our relationship, I loved to kiss her this way - soft and loving - the most.

Suddenly, I picked up on the sound of a heartbeat from inside the house. I opened my eyes slightly, not removing my lips from Bella's, and saw Renee standing at one of the living room windows. I pulled back from the kiss and whispered to Bella, letting her know that our guest had returned. I stood, offering her my hand to help her rise from the swing, which she gladly accepted. We walked back to the house hand in hand, both of us slightly nervous, but surely hopeful.

BPOV

When Carlisle told me that my mom was standing inside the house, I went through a series of emotions that I'm sure Jasper would have been relieved to have missed. While I was afraid of her walking out on me again, I had already realized that Emmett was right - Carlisle was mine, and he was worth the fight. I had spent my life supporting my mother instead of the other way around, following her through all her crazy ideas and "hobbies." I even gave up my life in Phoenix so that she could have what she wanted. True, that turned out to be the best decision of my life, but the fact remains that I did it for her. She could really have the courtesy to support _my_ decision in this one instance.

I steeled myself as we walked into the house, prepared to face her unreasonable anger yet again. This time, I'd be strong. For the first time in my life, I wasn't worried about what my mom might think about my choice. I knew it was right, and I'd stand up for it.

Carlisle gave my hand a quick squeeze, both reassuring me and strengthening my resolve.

"Thank you for coming back, Renee," he said with a genuine smile.

"Hello mom," I said. "I'm glad you're back too. There are some things that I need to say, and this time it's your turn to listen."

She looked surprised, but I didn't expect anything less. She'd never known me to be so assertive. I saw her opening her mouth to say something, but I didn't want to take the chance of her leaving again without hearing me out.

I put my hand up to stop her. "No, mom. I'm first," I said sharply. She sat down on the couch without a word, showing me she was willing to listen. "Thank you. I want to say that I'm glad you came back, but you really hurt me earlier. You hurt me by leaving, especially since you didn't even say goodbye. You hurt me by not even giving me the chance to explain, by not listening to me at all. My entire life you've trusted me to make the right decisions, and the vast majority of the time, that's what I did. So why do you suddenly doubt me? That hurts me, to think that I lost your faith and trust. And it hurts me that you would accuse the man that I love more than anything of such disgusting things as you did.

Carlisle is a good man, mom. He always has been. Anyone who has ever had the chance to know him can verify that. He is the most compassionate, responsible, moral, loving man I have ever encountered. Any woman would be lucky to have him in her life, and I was blessed enough to be the one he chose. He did not manipulate me, mom, I had feelings for him long before he ever approached me about his. He makes me happy, mom. Happier than I can ever remember being. If you would give him a chance, you'd see that. But if you won't, if you refuse to accept my choice, the loss will be yours, because I will not give him up."

I heaved a deep sigh of relief at having gotten through my whole speech without crying. I looked up at Carlisle, and pride shone in his eyes. I knew he was proud of me for standing up for myself, but I had a suspicion that it was my words about him that had affected him the most. I just hoped he knew that I meant every word of it.

Seeing his smile, I couldn't help myself. I didn't care that my mom was sitting in front of us. I stood up on my tiptoes and, cupping his cheek in my palm, kissed him gently. "I love you, Carlisle Cullen," I whispered.

"As I love you, my beautiful Bella," he replied, hugging me close.

My mother cleared her throat. "Bella? Are you finished speaking?" She asked calmly.

"Yes, mom, I am."

"Alright. Then I will say what I came here to say." She looked at both Carlisle and I. "I'm sorry. I overreacted, and I was very rude to you, Carlisle. I hope you can forgive my behavior. You must be a very good man to have raised a daughter like Rosalie."

I raised my eyebrows and bit my lip to hold in the laughter. I was sure that was the first time someone had made a comment like that about my sister. I may love her, but she's certainly rough around the edges.

"Thank you, Renee. That means a lot," Carlisle answered.

"I hope you won't mind, but your daughter invited me to stay with you for a few days, and I'd like to do that. She is certain that simply observing the two of you together will be enough to convince me that there's no reason to be upset. And I have to admit, I am already beginning to believe her. Bella, you really do look happy, and it's the first time I've seen you so happy in years. If Carlisle is the reason for that, as Rosalie claims, then I could not possibly complain about your relationship. This may not be the most conventional, and certainly not the most expected, but I'll give it a chance."

I walked over to my mother and hugged her tightly. "Thank you, mom. You won't regret it."

- Three days later -

BPOV

My mom left this morning. It was not an easy three days with her in the house, as everyone had to act much more human than they were used to, including eating (and regurgitating...) human food, and I had to sleep in my own room, without Carlisle, for the sake of maintaining her approval. Even though we knew there wasn't anything inappropriate going on at night, Carlisle was determined not to give her any reason to doubt his intentions with me. So we suffered.

It was nice to spend some time with my mom, even though things still felt a bit tense between us. During the hours when Carlisle was at the hospital and she wasn't on "guard duty", Renee and I spent a lot of time chatting about life, people we knew from back home, school, clothes, etc. She was excited about the prospect of Phil taking on a coaching position, whether it be here in New Hampshire or not. I didn't have the heart to tell her that we wouldn't be staying in New Hampshire much longer.

Before she left this morning, she sat me down in my room to talk. She had her "Serious Renee" look, one that I had not seen too many times in my life, and I prepared myself for the worst while still hoping for the best.

"Bella, you're my baby girl, and I love you very much. You were right about everything you said to me in the living room on Wednesday - I have always trusted you. You've always been my little 'middle-aged' child, and you've always known what's best for you. It may not be what I pictured for you, but I can see that Carlisle makes you happy. There's a light in your eyes that's been missing for longer than I care to think about.

I remember what it felt like when I fell in love with Phil - like I was finally complete. I knew he was 'too young' for me, but it didn't matter, because he was _right_. You look now just like I did then. And Carlisle does too."

She hugged me, tightly, and I returned it with just as much fervor.

"I'm happy for you, Bella."

"Thank you, Mom. You'll never know what that means," I said through my tears.

I walked her to the door after that, wishing her a safe trip home, and as I waved goodbye, the relief and joy washed over me in equal amounts. But then a small wave of anxiety swept through as I realized that I owed Rosalie big time.

**A/N: Ok, crisis over. Did you like the resolution? I know I was proud of Bella for standing up for herself for a change. I often thought she was too passive with Edward in the books.**

**Next up: Another "lesson" for Carlisle.**


	25. 22 The Big Game

**A/N: Obviously, I am not Stephenie Meyer, thus I write fan fiction instead of making millions inventing these characters. Oh well. **

**So here comes Carlisle's next lesson, otherwise known as date night, since there's not too much for him to learn this time. A little fluffy with some fun family history thrown in. Hope you enjoy!**

Chapter 22: The Big Game

CPOV

I had spent the night, for the first time since Wednesday, with my love beside me. It had been pure torture to lie in my bed without her while Renee was visiting, but it was necessary to keep up appearances. Last night, I took her to my bed, and, before she fell asleep, I kissed her for well over an hour, reveling in the feel of her lips, which I had been deprived of for far too long.

While Bella slept beside me, I spent the time thinking of the course my life, as it were, has taken. I had feared being with Bella for far too long, and for all the wrong reasons. Even now, being with her, I can see that my fear was unfounded - I have not replaced Esme. Esme has not left my heart, nor the heart of anyone else in this house. What Bella and I have is something altogether new, and wonderful. I am truly happy now, and that's what Esme wanted for me.

I remembered how it felt when Bella and I walked into the house Wednesday afternoon, as she confronted her mother. Watching her, so willing to disagree with her mother and stand her ground, defending us... I fell in love with her all over again. I was so proud of her, and so thrilled that our love meant as much to her as it did me.

I watched Bella as she slept, so beautiful and peaceful, and marveled once again that this creature loved me, wanted me. She brings me so much joy. I knew I would do anything for her.

As I felt Bella begin to stir in the morning, I let out a contented sigh. It had been years since I had this kind of happiness, and I was so grateful to have found it. I looked down at her face just as her eyes opened.

"Good morning, beautiful."

She smiled up at me and gave me a light kiss. "Good morning to you to, handsome. Give me a human moment, alright?"

She slipped out of bed and went into the restroom. I was surprised at just how much I missed her while I waited for her to return. It was almost as if she was an addiction-the more time I had with her, the more I needed.

I grinned at her when she emerged from the restroom, and held my arms open to her. "Come on, dear, you've been gone too long already."

She laughed, but still ran to me, jumping up into the bed. I embraced her and pulled her into my chest. She tilted her chin up to me and touched her lips to mine. As I returned her kiss, I felt the warmth of her tongue licking along my bottom lip. I pulled my mouth away from hers. She had never tried to enter my mouth before, and I was admittedly a bit hesitant about the idea. But I trusted her, as she did me.

"Bella, you must take care to stay away from my teeth sweetheart. Alright?"

Rather than answer, she reached her hand to the back of my head and pulled my face back to hers. Again, her tongue brushed my lip, and this time I opened my mouth for her, welcoming her in, pushing aside my nerves. It seemed that time stopped as our tongues danced together in a perfect waltz before I felt the desperate need to explore her mouth as well. I used my tongue to push her own back, and chased it into her mouth. I shuddered at the exquisite pleasure of her taste, knowing I could never get enough. Finally, we separated, knowing that Bella needed to breathe, her forehead resting against mine.

"Wow," she sighed.

"I completely agree," I said breathlessly.

"Can we do that again?" She asked playfully.

"Sweetheart, you need to have some breakfast," I replied, though I really did not want to leave the bed.

"In a minute," she said, pulling my mouth back to hers.

It took nearly an hour to get Bella to leave the bed, but I didn't complain. We walked down to the kitchen, still in our pajamas, and Bella took a seat at the counter while I cut some fresh fruit and scrambled two eggs for her. I sat next to her, reading the newspaper as she ate. _It's almost like we're a normal couple._

"So, dear, it's Saturday. What do we have planned?" I asked as I washed her plate.

"Something that I'm hoping you'll love. We're going to drive to Boston tonight, because I have tickets for the Celtics game!"

"Are you serious, Bella?" I asked, truly excited.

"Yes. Do you like it?"

"Oh, Bella, I love it! We'll have a wonderful time! But I thought you didn't like sports?"

"Well, I've been living with Emmett for quite awhile now, and after about the hundredth game he made me sit through, I finally realized that it was pretty exciting. He's a pretty good big brother, that one."

"Yes, I suppose I'll have to thank him for that. Later though, because right now all I can think about are you lips." With that, I pulled her to me and fell back into bliss.

Later that night, we were drove to Boston, both of us wearing the jeans and Celtics jerseys that Alice had so thoughtfully left for us. Bella had gotten wonderful seats for us, only a few rows back at mid-court. As we entered the Boston Garden, I happened to catch our reflection in a pane of glass. I was almost surprised to see how natural we looked together, like any normal young couple. When I was with her, I really felt like a young man again, and it was thoroughly enjoyable. After the initial confrontation with Renee, I had felt a bit self-conscious about our relationship, but now I could see that it had been silly. All the time I had spent worrying over the age gap that now only truly exists in vampire years.

Once we had reached our seats, I turned to Bella, kissing her quickly, and asked, "So, is there any lecture prior to this activity?"

"No, not really. All you have to do is enjoy yourself and forget that there are people around you. Think you can handle that?"

"That sounds easy enough with one exception. How could I possibly forget that you are here?"

"Oh, you don't. Just everyone else." I picked up on a bit of huskiness in her tone when she said it, and it sent a wave of desire through me, and I chuckled.

"Maybe it would be better to tell me to keep my mind on the game, because if I am thinking of you and forgetting that others are around, well... Let's just say that we may not be here to enjoy the game. Either that or the rest of our section will get more of a show than they expected."

Bella blushed a deep shade of red as I nuzzled her neck and I laughed.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but you are simply irresistible."

She laughed with me as she nudged me away. "After the game, Carlisle. I promise."

The game was wonderful. I have enjoyed watching games on television with Emmett and Jasper in the past, despite the constant grumbling regarding the humans' athletic prowess, but to experience it in person with the roar of the crowd surrounding us, it was much more exciting - it was exhilarating. The Celtics were playing the Miami Heat in this game, and since we lived closer to Boston, we chose to cheer for the Celtics, who won in a 105-98 finish. Bella and I cheered and sang with the crowd throughout the game. Her bright smile could have lit up the whole Garden had the electricity failed, and I could see the thrill in her expressive eyes. It was so endearing to see her excited like this.

Driving back to Hanover, I held Bella's hand in mine as we chatted about the game. She was enthusiastically describing her favorite play of the game, in which one of the Celtics players had stolen the ball from the Heat, run back down the court, throwing the ball in what seemed to be an attempt to score, but was actually a pass to his teammate, who had jumped up, caught it, and dropped it into the basket. I told her that this play was known as an "alley-oop."

"Carlisle? I was thinking... I've seen vampire baseball. Do you ever play basketball?"

I laughed, the memories invading my mind. "Once, dear. It was quite a disaster actually."

"Tell me about it," she smiled. She always loved to hear stories from the times before she knew us.

"Well, it was about twenty years ago, when we were living in northern Maine. Emmett had suggested that we play, and we decided on using the parking lot of the high school they were attending. We started with just some individual practice, to get used to the equipment, but it took us several basketballs before everyone was able to dribble without flattening the ball. We had, in an attempt to make the game more interesting, set the court for ourselves with baskets at either end, two hundred meters apart, mounted on lamp poles at twice the regulation height. To a human, I'm sure it would have looked rather ridiculous. Emmett, Rosalie and Edward were one team, while Alice, Jasper and I made up the other. Esme, as always, was our referee.

Of course, Alice and Edward have a knack for cheating with their abilities - I still wonder how Alice didn't See what would happen in advance to prevent it. Their abilities compounded the difficulties the game would have already presented. As we started the game, Jasper took the ball first, running down the court. We had worked out a play similar to the one we saw Miami make tonight, wherein Alice would pass me the ball, and I would fake making a three-point shot, but instead throw the ball near the basket to Jasper, who would dunk the ball. In theory, it was a good idea.

Unfortunately, Edward knew from our thoughts what we were planning and decided to foil us. In the end, Emmett got a bit caught up in his excitement and tackled me just after I passed the ball, and Jasper jumped to make the shot just as Edward leapt to block him, and they pulled the entire basket, which we had attached to a lamp pole, to the ground.

Thus the game ended, and we had to find a way to explain a Carlisle and Emmett-shaped crater as well as several large basketball-sized potholes, and a fallen lamp post in the parking lot of the high school. Needless to say, we never played basketball again."

By this time, Bella had tears running from her eyes through her laughter.

"You know, I've always wondered why Emmett sat out when we played basketball in gym. You should definitely stick to baseball in the woods," she said between giggles. "Esme was really not kidding when she said you are all a bunch of cheaters!"

"I suppose that's probably true. But, in defense of my family, it _is_ rather difficult not to with such abilities."

"I'm sure," she said, grinning. "I wonder if I'll have any special powers when I'm a vampire?" She mused.

I leaned over and kissed her lightly on her cheek. "Sweetheart, you will be special with or without extra abilities, I can promise you that."

We arrived at our house, and I escorted her to the door. While I was unlocking it, I leaned down and traced the rim of her ear with my tongue, causing her to shudder, and then whispered, "Bella, I believe you made me a promise at the game?"

She squealed, and I picked her up bridal-style and ran her into my bedroom, my lips attacking hers the entire way.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed that. **

**Next up: A little family time.**


	26. 23 Sing to Me

**A/N: Stephenie Meyer created these characters, I just like playing with them. **

**Time for the Cullen family to bond a bit, don't you think? It's date night for Bella and Carlisle again, but she decided to invite the whole family along. She has plans, to be sure. **

**Enjoy!**

Chapter 23: Sing to Me

BPOV

Things have been going exceptionally well for Carlisle and I ever since Renee went back to Jacksonville. I think that, by challenging our relationship, she brought all of our own insecurities to the forefront and made us face them. It left us feeling more confidant in our love, and in each other. Strange, that such an attack would bring us even closer, but it did. I know for sure that I am ready to face the future with him, whatever it might bring.

It also reminded me once again how important my siblings are to me. These past few years, they have been there for me time and time again, supporting me every time I've needed it. I only hope that I'll have the opportunity to help them someday.

Luckily for me, someday has come a bit sooner than I expected. Rose has been in a terrible mood all week because of the stress she is under with a paper she's writing. Unfortunately, she has to write about rape, which is a subject that has major unpleasant emotional history for her. She's been sitting alone during most of her time at home, not really talking much. I decided that she needed cheering up, and I had just the idea for how to do it.

It started last year, just after the disastrous New Year's ball. I had been moping for weeks, and my sisters had finally had enough. They decided to take me out to a bar near the Dartmouth campus called All Stars for a fun evening. I had fought them on it, preferring to stay home and brood, but they wouldn't take no for an answer. When we arrived, I learned that it wasn't just a bar, it was a karaoke bar! I refused to sing, but I enjoyed listening to the rest of the patrons and laughing with my sisters.

A few weeks later, Rose came home with a gift - our very own karaoke machine for the house. We never told the boys that we had it, only bringing it out when they went on their "manly" hunting trips. At first, I was extremely nervous and embarrassed to sing in front of anyone, but my sisters quickly learned that an alcoholic beverage or two was enough to make me quite comfortable with the idea. Once I sang, they swore I was fabulous, and I found that I really enjoyed myself.

I've still never sang in front of anyone bit Alice and Rosalie, but I decided that desperate times call for desperate measures. So, for our "lesson" this week, I am taking Carlisle to All Stars, along with the rest of the family. I was admittedly a bit anxious about singing on stage myself, but I had planned this well. Taking the family meant taking Jasper, and he was even better at calming me than anything I might drink. True, my main motivation for this choice was to cheer up Rose, but I had to admit that the idea of Carlisle up on stage singing got my panties a bit wet. I mean, the man's speaking voice is like flowing honey... Imagine what he'll sound like when he sings!

I was in the kitchen making myself a sandwich for lunch and thinking about the night ahead when two strong, cold arms snaked around my waist and a pair of lips pressed against my neck.

"Who's there?" I teased.

Carlisle growled playfully. "I really hope you don't have to ask that question," he replied in a low voice.

I turned my face enough to kiss him, and then smiled. "Of course not, honey. You are the only one for me."

He beamed at me, his eyes lighting up with his smile. "So, where are you taking me tonight, Professor?"

I have to admit, certain naughty thoughts involving Professor Carlisle and a certain naughty schoolgirl may have passed through my head at that moment... I felt a blush warming my face, and swallowed hard, trying to focus.

"We're going to go to a bar near Dartmouth to enjoy the musical stylings of the local Hanover population." He looked slightly confused. "Karaoke, honey."

He smirked. "Might the great Bella Swan be performing tonight?"

"Yes, actually. I was planning to sing one song, as will you."

He raised his eyebrows, but smiled. "So we won't be leaving until later?"

I stood up on my toes and kissed his neck. "Much, much later," I whispered into his smooth, cold skin.

Hours later, we were all at All Stars. Carlisle got us a table and ordered me a Miami Vice (I was trying to experiment with different foods and drinks while I still had a taste for something besides blood, not to mention I didn't want to embarrass Carlisle with another x-rated drink name). The two of us were flipping through the song book, trying to decide what we were going to sing.

The agreement had been planned was that I was to pick everyone's song except for Carlisle's. I had the whole night planned in fine detail. Alice, of course, knew what I had up my sleeve, and had been laughing intermittently all evening as visions would appear.

"Dear? What are you going to sing tonight?" Carlisle asked.

"Oh, I can't tell you. It has to be a surprise. Just find anything you like and go write it on the list up front."

Eventually, all the song choices had been registered, and the six of us sat back to listen to the other patrons while we awaited our turns. There were a few awful sounding drunk fraternity boys who sang YMCA, followed by an old man who sang New York, New York so well that the whole bar gave him a standing ovation. The next girl up was dressed in a way too revealing outfit, and she sang some god-awful Brittany Spears song. I couldn't stand the idea of Carlisle looking at her, so I distracted him with my lips until she was finished.

Rosalie was called next. I saw a smile playing at her lips when she heard the music begin - I had chosen Bitch, by Meredith Brooks. Yes, I had spent hours thinking about song choices this week, and it was beyond perfect.

_I hate the world today_

_You're so good to me_

_I know but I can't change_

_tried to tell you but you look at me like maybe I'm an angel underneath_

_innocent and sweet_

_Yesterday I cried_

_You must have been relieved to see the softer side_

_I can understand how you'd be so confused_

_I don't envy you_

_I'm a little bit of everything_

_all rolled into one._

_Chorus: I'm a bitch, I'm a lover_

_I'm a child, I'm a mother_

_I'm a sinner, I'm a saint_

_I do not feel ashamed_

_I'm your health, I'm your dream_

_I'm nothing in between_

_You know you wouldn't want it any other way_

_So take me as I am _

_This may mean you'll have to be a stronger man_

_Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous_

_and I'm going to extremes_

_tomorrow I will change_

_and today won't mean a thing_

_Chorus_

_Just when you think you've got me figured out_

_the season's already changing_

_I think it's cool that you do what you do_

_and don't try to save me_

_Chorus_

_I'm a bitch, I'm a tease_

_I'm a goddess on my knees_

_when you hurt, when you suffer_

_I'm your angel undercover_

_I've been numbered, I'm revived_

_can't say I'm not alive_

_You know I wouldn't want it any other way._

We all got a huge kick out of Rose's performance, as did the rest of the crowd. She had really worked the stage, dancing as she sang, looking every bit the sexy bitch that she always does. The best part, though, was that she was smiling the whole time, and continued to do so when she left the stage.

She walked directly to me and gave me a hug. "You, little sister, are a menace, and I love you for it," she said.

A few more acts came up on stage, including a group of skanky looking college girls who sang to a Pussycat Dolls track, looking like they belonged in a strip club instead of a karaoke bar. Our boys were gracious enough to ignore them as we scoffed.

Next from our group to be called was Jasper. I've heard Jasper sing thousands of times at home by now, thus I know how deep and smooth his voice is. I was sure I'd have every girl in the place, especially Alice, swooning by the time he finished. I had decided to play up his southern heritage a bit with my song choice, as well as pick a song whose lyrics fit him well. I chose Johnny Cash's I Walk the Line. As the first chords of the guitar sang out, Jasper flashed me a big grin as he realized just why Alice had put a cowboy hat on his head when his name was called, and I was hit with a wave of happiness that nearly knocked me over.

_I keep a close watch on this heart of mine _

_I keep my eyes wide open all the time_

_I keep the ends out for the time that binds_

_Because you're mine, I walk the line._

_I find it very, very easy to be true_

_I find myself alone when each day is through_

_Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you_

_Because you're mine, I walk the line._

_As sure as night is dark and day is light_

_I keep you on my mind both day and night_

_And happiness I've known proves that it's right_

_Because you're mine, I walk the line._

_You've got a way to keep me on your side_

_You give me cause for love that I can't hide_

_For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide_

_Because you're mine, I walk the line._

_I keep a close watch on this heart of mine_

_I keep my eyes wide open all the time_

_I keep the ends out for the tie that binds_

_Because you're mine, I walk the line._

Jasper tipped his hat to the crowd as he finished, and heard all the women in the room scream. I had to give my brother credit, he worked the crowd just as well, if not better than, Rosalie had. I looked over to Rose and saw that she was shaking her head and laughing at our brother, and then to Carlisle, who was doing the same. Alice ran over and kissed me, saying thank you, and then she and Jasper disappeared outside the club for reasons that I could guess. So far I was two for two.

A few more people came up on stage, but I couldn't tell you what they sang, as I was pretty wrapped up in Carlisle while they were on stage. It seemed that, in his excitement to escape with Alice, Jasper had shared a bit of lust with the rest of us, and I was struggling to keep my hands (though not my lips) off of Carlisle. I was, however, doing a better job than Rosalie, who was sitting on Emmett's lap, straddling him, with her tongue down his throat. Carlisle's hands were running up and down my back as he licked trails on my neck and sucked on my earlobe, and my head was swimming with desire.

Suddenly, a tsunami of calm washed over us. Jasper and Alice had just returned to the table, a little worse for wear, but still presentable.

"Hey, hey, family, time to calm down. Those activities are better left to private places," Jasper teased.

"Yeah, okay bro, because you have a lot of room to talk, right?" Emmett argued, causing all of us to laugh.

"Ok, ok," Alice began. "But seriously, Emmett, I think you need to make a quick run to the bathroom."

Everyone besides myself and Emmett looked very confused. It was all a part of my plan to cheer up his wife, so I had informed Emmett of his role two days ago. I thought he'd complain, but he was actually pretty excited. He walked away from the table and everyone turned to look at me.

"What? Maybe he too much to drink," I said sarcastically, not willing to ruin the surprise.

Rose snorted, but I could tell she was amused.

Two songs later, Emmett's name was called. He walked onto the stage, all six feet and eight inches of his, complete with muscles that would make a football player jealous, wearing a black mesh tank top, black leather pants, and dark sunglasses. The sight alone nearly made me pee my pants.

He had his back to the crowd, and his rich baritone rang out as the song began with no intro.

_I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love_

_Love's going to leave me_

Emmett spun around then to face the audience, and started swinging and thrusting his hips as he continued to sing, a big grin on his face. He was definitely going to play this up as much as possible.

_I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt_

_So sexy it hurts_

At this point, Em grabbed the front of his shirt and literally ripped it right off of his body, throwing the shredded fabric into the crowd. I had tears in my eyes from laughing already, and I could feel Carlisle shaking behind me.

_And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan_

_New York and Japan_

_And I'm too sexy for your party _

_Too sexy for your party _

_No way I'm disco dancing_

_I'm a model you know what I mean_

_And I do my little turn on the catwalk_

_Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah_

_I do my little turn on the catwalk_

Emmett took his microphone and walked up and down the aisle in front of the stage just like a fashion model during these lines, somehow keeping a straight face, though he was certainly the only person in the bar who was.

_I'm too sexy for my car too sexy for my car_

_Too sexy by far_

_And I'm too sexy for my hat too sexy for my hat_

_What do you think of that_

_I'm a model you know what I mean_

_And I do my little turn on the catwalk_

_Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah_

_I shake my little touche on the catwalk_

This time the simple model walk was not enough, so he turned his back to us and quite literally shook his ass at the crowd. Thanks to the combination of Emmett and Jasper, none of my family could breathe by now (too bad _I _actually needed to!) because we were laughing so hard.

_I'm too sexy for my too sexy for my too sexy for my_

_I'm a model you know what I mean_

_And I do my little turn on the catwalk_

_Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah_

_I shake my little touche on the catwalk_

_I'm too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat_

_Poor pussy poor pussy cat_

Emmett sang that line with complete and total sex eyes, looking straight as Rosalie. She waved her hand in front of her face as if fanning herself, playing along with him. She was obviously eating this up.

_I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love_

_Love's going to leave me_

_And I'm too sexy for this song._

The crowd went wild as my big goof of a brother left the stage, and we all jumped up to congratulate him as he approached the table. I saw Rose kissing him and whispering something in his ear, and I grinned. My plan had obviously been successful - my sister's bad mood had completely vanished.

"You are utterly fabulous, Miss Swan," my sexy vampire whispered into my ear. "This night has been so much fun!"

"And it's not even over yet, Dr Cullen," I answered, giving him a quick kiss.

Emmett went back to the bathroom to change, informing us all that leather pants weren't meant to be worn for long periods of time, and the rest of us settled in to enjoy some more singing. I tuned the music out for a bit, wanting to pay more attention to Carlisle.

"So are you going to give me a hint about your song?" I asked innocently.

"Absolutely not, Bella. You said it was supposed to be a secret. Wasn't it you who complained about my family being full of cheaters?"

I grinned. "Well, if you're not going to tell me, you could at least kiss me," I said coyly.

He had no problem with that at all.

Alice's name being called brought us out of out little love bubble, and we stopped kissing to pay attention. She walked up on stage, the tiny little pixie that she is, and reached up to pull the microphone down from it's stand. I had chosen Alice's song for the lyrics, because I've always thought it's so funny to think about she and Jasper as a couple. When you look at their complete opposite physical characteristics, and think about their personalities, it doesn't seem like they make any sense together at all. But spending even a minute with the two of them will prove that they're soulmates - there's no question about it.

_Everybody told me he was a dream_

_Picture perfect like he stepped right off the silver screen_

_Said that he would sweep me off my feet_

_But I'm still standing - No he didn't do it for me_

_'Cause I don't go for all that wine and dine _

_With the Ray Ban / Fake tan / Never mind_

_Chorus: I want a down home / Up-with-the-sun-rise man_

_A pick-up truck driving / Bull riding / Strong steady hand_

_I want the Wranglers / Stetson / and all that stuff_

_I want the real McCoy_

_I want a cowboy_

_I'm tired of talking 'bout it / Wasting my time_

_On all the cheap talkers - needing me / feeding me lines_

_Give me somebody who's tender but tough_

_Simple and honest / Knows a thing or two about love_

_I've seen enough to know I know what I like_

_It's the hard working / head turning / rugged type_

_Chorus_

_I've seen enough to know - ya know what I mean_

_Ride me off into the sunset_

_That's my thing_

_Chorus_

_Give me the Wranglers / Stetson / All that stuff_

_I want the real McCoy_

_I want a cowboy_

_I want a cowboy_

Alice jumped down off the stage directly into Jasper's arms. They really are perfect together - our resident shopper and her cowboy. Just seeing their sweet display of love, so opposite the raging hormones of Emmett and Rosalie's love, made me turn back to Carlisle and kiss him gently again and whisper my love to him.

My name was called just after Alice's. I gave Jasper a glance, and felt a sudden wave of confidence, as we had planned. I got up on the stage, prepared to send a message to Carlisle with my song choice. We had said 'I love you' hundreds of times by now, but I wanted him to know that I meant it, that I wanted him forever, the way I prayed he wanted me. So I was singing Shania Twain's Forever and For Always. I looked him directly in his beautiful golden eyes when I sang the first note, and I kept my eyes locked on him until I finished the song.

_In your arms I can still feel the way you want me when you hold me_

_I can still hear the words you whispered when you told me_

_I can stay right here forever in your arms_

_And there ain't no way--_

_I'm lettin' you go now_

_And there ain't no way--_

_and there ain't no how_

_I'll never see that day_

_Cause I'm keeping you forever and for always_

_We will be together all of our days_

_Wanna wake up every morning to your sweet face--always_

_Mmmm, baby_

_In your heart--I can still hear a beat for every time you kiss me_

_And when we're apart, I know how much you miss me_

_I can feel your love for me in your heart._

_(Repeat chorus)_

_In your eyes--I can still see the look of the one who really loves me_

_The one who wouldn't put anything else in the world above me_

_I can see the love for me in your eyes_

_(Repeat chorus)_

_I'm keeping you forever and for always._

I returned to my seat and he held me tightly, kissing me sweetly. He pulled me into his lap and held me close until his name was called.

Carlisle went up on stage, looking every bit the movie star in a green and white gingham-printed button down with the sleeves folded up to the elbow and dark washed boot cut jeans, his golden locks tousled from a combination of my hands while I was kissing him, and his own hands running through them in nervousness while awaiting his turn on stage. I recognized the song almost immediately. He was singing Billy Joel's For the Longest Time. As he began to sing with that sweet, honeyed voice, I think I fell a bit further in love with him. Was there any way in which this man was not perfect?

_Oh, Oh, Oh _

_For the longest time _

_Oh, Oh, Oh _

_For the longest time _

_If you said goodbye to me tonight _

_There would still be music left to write _

_What else could I do, I'm so inspired by you _

_That hasn't happened for the longest time _

_Once I thought my innocence was gone _

_Now I know that happiness goes on _

_That's when you found me, when you put your arms around me _

_I haven't been there for the longest time _

_Oh, Oh, Oh _

_For the longest time _

_Oh, Oh, Oh _

_For the longest time _

_I'm that voice you're hearing in the hall _

_And the greatest miracle of all _

_Is how I need you, and how you needed me too _

_That hasn't happened in the longest time _

_Maybe this won't last very long _

_But you feel so right _

_And I could be wrong _

_Maybe I've gone this far _

_And it's more than I'd hoped for _

_Who knows how much further we'll go on _

_Maybe I'll be sorry when you're gone _

_I'll take my chances, I forgot how nice romance is _

_I haven't been there for the longest time _

I could see that he was really getting into his performance at this point, as he pointed at he and waved his finger, asking me to come join him on the stage. I complied willingly, though I felt myself blushing. When I was next to him, he wrapped his arms around me and sang right to me, ignoring the crowd.

_I had second thoughts at the start _

_I said to myself, hold on to your heart _

_Now I know the woman that you are _

_It's wonderful so far _

_And you're more than I'd hoped for _

_I don't care what consequence it brings _

_I have been a fool for lesser things _

_I want you so bad, I think you ought to know that _

_I intend to hold you for the longest time _

The song finished, he dipped me down and kissed me fiercely while the crowd whistled and clapped.

He set the microphone back in it's stand and put his mouth to my ear. "I think it's time to go home now, Bella. It's been a long night. And didn't you hear? I want you so bad..." He said with a mischievous glint in his eye.

He grabbed ahold of my hand and we ran towards the door, laughing the whole way.

**A/N: Well, what did you think? A little fun with the Cullens. I was with Bella - I almost peed my pants picturing Emmett's performance. **

**Song info (for copyright purposes):**

**Bitch belongs to Meredith Brooks**

**I Walk the Line belongs to Johnny Cash**

**I'm Too Sexy belongs to Right Said Fred**

**I Want a Cowboy belongs to Katrina Elam**

**Forever and For Always belongs to Shania Twain **

**For the Longest Time belongs to Billy Joel**

**Up next: It's still Saturday night, which means Carlisle and Bella have some privacy at home... You heard what he said before they left All Stars, right??? **


	27. 24 I Want You So Bad

**A/N: I only wish I owned it. All hail the creative genius of Stephenie Meyer.**

**LEMON alert!**

Chapter 24: I want you so bad

BPOV

_When we last left our story:_

_The song finished, he dipped me down and kissed me fiercely while the crowd whistled and clapped._

_He set the microphone back in its stand and put his mouth to my ear. "I think it's time to go home now, Bella. It's been a long night. And didn't you hear? I want you so bad..."_

I wasn't sure what had gotten ahold of Carlisle and I in the karaoke bar, whether it was leftover lust from Jasper or if we had excited each other with out song choices, but whatever it was, wow! We ran out of All Stars and rushed into the car, holding hands until we had to separate for Carlisle to get in. Once he was in the car, I attacked him, not caring about how uncomfortable the center console felt against my side - that small discomfort was well worth the pleasure of his lips on mine.

He must have sensed my discomfort, though, because he reached across the car, slipped his hands under my arms and easily lifted me out of my seat and into his lap. Yes, straddling his lap was much more comfortable than straining across the car. We were kissing with urgency, our tongues doing some wild tango. He had one hand on my back and the other on the back of my head, holding my face to him as if I would have any desire to escape. My hands, which were initially tangled in his soft waves, inched their way down and started making quick work of his buttons. I wanted this man, and I wanted him now!

"Oh god, Bella.... want you... so much." He breathed.

"I _need_ you Carlisle," I answered.

I reached the final button, and once it was undone, started pushing his shirt off of his shoulders. At the same time, he was licking all over my ear and jaw. I ran my hands lightly over his perfect pecs and he purred at the sensation. The shirt that I was wearing was a pullover, but had lacing holding together the deep v-neck, so Carlisle simply reached up to untie the laces, using vampire speed, and pulled the sides apart to give himself access to my breasts.

"Mmmm Bella, you're so beautiful," he whispered, as he slid the lace covering my breast down and dropped his mouth onto my nipple, laving it first with his cool tongue before sucking the whole thing into his mouth.

"Aaaahhh, Carlisle.....please," I moaned, my back arching toward him.

My fingers left the marble plane of his chest and grabbed onto his soft golden locks, tugging lightly, trying to keep his mouth exactly where it was. Suddenly, I felt his arousal pressing into me from underneath, and I ground myself down into it, making him growl. _Sexiest sound EVER. _He released my nipple, now standing at full attention and rock hard, and switched to the opposite side. I hissed at the contact and arched even further back.

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

"Shit!" Carlisle yelled as my back pressed against the car horn. Apparently, the noise was enough to snap him out of the haze he was in, because he lifted me back up and slid me back into my seat. I whined. "Sweetheart, not here. Let's get home. Now!"

He put the car in gear and sped out of the parking lot.

CPOV

I have never driven so fast as I did on the way home from the bar. The air in my Mercedes was heavy with the scent of her arousal, and it was all I could do to make it home instead of pulling over on the side of the road somewhere. When I arrived at our house, I didn't bother with the garage, I simply skidded to a stop directly in front of the door. I ran at vampire speed to Bella's door, grabbed her, and within seconds was laying her in the center of my bed. She looked a bit surprised when she saw where we were, but only because we got there so quickly. I could see that her eyes were still heavy-lidded with lust, and she was panting. I quickly shed the shirt that was barely hanging from my arms and dropped down to the bed so that I was on top of her, but supporting most of my body weight on my own.

"Carlisle....I need... you," she panted. _The sound of my name falling from her lips like that... oh god..._

"I'm here, you have me... What do you need baby?"

"Oh god... touch me Carlisle...I need your hands on me."

I would not deny her. I sat her up quickly, removing her shirt and bra in seconds, then laid her back on the pillows. I needed her too, and she had no idea what she was doing to me in this moment. My control was hanging on by a thread. And a very thin one at that.

I lowered my mouth to her abdomen, pressing open-mouthed kisses all over her deliciously salty skin while I ghosted my hands all over her torso, asserting only enough pressure to let her feel them and to drive her crazy with need. She was writhing under my touch, and the sight of her like that was only increasing my desire. I kissed my way up to her breasts, taking one in my mouth and flicking the nipple with my tongue, feeling it pebble beneath me, while my other hand alternated massaging the other breast and tugging lightly on its nipple. I stayed this way until her moans were nearly a constant stream coming from her mouth, and then reversed sides.

_God, she tastes so good... I need more... There will never be enough of this..._

"Mmmmmm.....aaaahhhh.....uuggghh..." Bella's sounds were no longer words, merely incomprehensible noise.

I released her breast from my mouth and returned my lips to hers, immediately thrusting my tongue into her open mouth. Her tongue battled with mine for a moment before submitting to mine and allowing me to explore her mouth fully. As I did this, I used only one finger to trace a line from her breast to the waistband of her jeans, hooking underneath the fabric, and then sliding it across from one hipbone to the other and back again. Her eyes opened wide in shock for a second, then I watched as they rolled back again and she closed them once more, sighing in pleasure.

"Please, Carlisle... honey... please...." She was begging, but she need not. I was so far gone already that there was no question of me stopping. I wanted to touch her, no, I _needed_ to. I was desperate to feel her, to watch her, as she came undone. I had set limits, I had rules, but, god help me - I couldn't wait any longer!

I reached for the button on her jeans, pulling it open, and then slowly dragged down the zipper. I pulled away from our kiss and sat up to remove the offending fabric. Bella reached out and grabbed onto my arms with a vice grip. She must have thought I was leaving, but she couldn't be more wrong.

"Don't worry sweetheart, I'm not going anywhere else," I whispered huskily as I slid the denim slowly down her legs. I stood and removed mine at vampire speed, and then fell back down over Bella, laying my body so that I was only half on top of her, one full side of her hot skin pressed against the side of me.

As Bella used her top hand to trace up and down my side, from my shoulder to my hip, I reached down and ran my hand along the top seam of her panties. Her breath hitched and I groaned. _So close... I can already feel the heat! _ I slipped my hand under the waistband and lightly ran it over her mound, tracing the line of the slit all the way down to her opening and then back up again, gathering a bit of her wetness on the way.

"Ooooooohhhhhh... Carlisle, uuuugggghhh...."

"You like that baby?" I asked, my voice low and rough.

I brought my finger back out of her panties and drew it up to my face, inhaling deeply. "Oh god, Bella, you smell divine!" I couldn't help myself then, and sucked my finger into my mouth, swirling my tongue over it, wanting to taste her. "Mmmm...but you taste even better."

She groaned again, urging me on. _As if I needed it. As if I could stop now!_

My patience was gone, I was desperate for her, so I reached down and tugged on her panties, ripping the fabric right off of her body. She didn't seem to notice, as lost as she was in her need. I slid two fingers back down her slit, gathering more of her arousal, and then traced it back up until I found her clit. I pressed it lightly and she gasped, then I began circling around it slowly.

"So.... good...Carlisle....so....damn good," she panted.

I teased her little bundle of nerves for a moment before I needed more still. I traced my two fingers back down her slit, chuckling as she whimpered, and slid them into her heat. It felt better than I could ever have imagined.

"Oh god, Bella! You're so warm....so tight!"

Her answer was completely incomprehensible, though I thought I may have recognized my name. My pride swelled, as did my cock. I was doing this to her. I was making her lose her mind.

I pumped my fingers slowly, gently, in and out of her warm, tight sex. My lips conquered hers again, this time allowing her tongue into my mouth. I no longer feared this - she knew what she was doing. She was digging her nails into my back with the hand that was underneath me, and the other hand, which had been on my hip, moved around to the front of my boxer briefs, and then slowly slid down the front until she found my aching length. She pressed into it with her palm, and I groaned loudly. _ Oh my god does that feel fantastic!_ She rubbed up and down for a moment before reaching up to the waistband and pulling it out and down, releasing me from their confines. I shimmied my way out of the shorts, kicking them off the end of the bed. _Oh hell, I'm naked in bed with Bella... how long have I been imagining this?_

Her hot, tiny hand grabbed onto my sex just then, bringing a low growl from my chest.

"Uuuuuugggghhhh... Bella... oh hell...that feels.... so....good" I panted as she pumped my length.

Still pushing my fingers into her heat, I turned my hand just enough to add my thumb to her clit, making her cry out.

"Carlisle, baby... Oh god... shit... so good..."

I brought our mouths together again, and our tongues locked in a passionate dance. I was so close already, but I didn't want it to end. I never wanted this to end. I added a bit more pressure to her clit, and curled my fingers inside of her, trying to reach the spot that I knew would push her over the edge.

"Honey, I'm...I....uuuggghhhh...gonna..."

"That's right baby... yeah... oh god... let go Bella...cum for me... I want to feel you...cumming all over my fingers... aaaahhhhh..."

"You too... I want you to...uuuggghhh...feel good... too."

"I am baby... I do," I grunted.

And then I couldn't hold it anymore. The combination of all the sensations finally overwhelmed me, and I felt the release overtaking me.

"Bella, come now, baby. Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!" I cried out as I came in spurts onto her belly.

"Oooooohhhhhhh....CARLISLE!!!!!!!" I felt her tight walls clenching around my fingers as they drenched me in her sweet juiced. _Hearing her scream my name as she came.... Best sound EVER. _The world split in two at that moment, bright light flashing in the blackness before my eyes. _Had it ever felt like this before?_

As soon as I felt her muscles relax, I kissed her once more, deeply, as I pulled my fingers back out of her, bringing them up to my mouth and licking them clean. _Even better than blood! _

"I love you sweetheart."

"I love you too Carlisle," she whispered, still breathing heavily.

I got up from the bed and grabbed a wet cloth, bringing it back and wiping her stomach clean with it. Then I climbed back into the bed and pulled her close to me. I reveled for a moment in the feeling of her naked body next to mine, knowing it was a feeling I wanted to experience for the rest of my existence.

"Sleep now, sweet Bella. Dream sweet dreams for me," I whispered as I stroked her hair. She quickly complied.

**A/N: Ok, I hope that was as enjoyable for you as it was for Carlisle and Bella. Please excuse me while I go take a cold shower.**


	28. 25 The Question

**A/N: We're at chapter 25 now, it seems a bit redundant at this point, but I STILL do not own Twilight's intellectual property. **

**So, my faithful readers, I present to you the chapter you have been waiting for. I hope it will make you happy and be all you dreamed of.**

Chapter 25: The Question

BPOV

Carlisle called me from the hospital yesterday afternoon, letting me know that he had been asked to consult on a very difficult case in Vermont, and would most likely not be home for another day or two. I understood, but I was admittedly disappointed. I hadn't slept one night without him since my return from England, with the exception of the three days my mother was in town, and I wasn't looking forward to doing it again. Especially now that bedtime had gotten so much more interesting... I knew he'd be home in the morning, but I missed him more than I wanted to admit. The connection we shared was so strong already. It was quite difficult to be away from him. And not just emotionally. There was a physical strain, as if a string had been tied around my heart and he was holding the other end, trying desperately to pull me toward him. Was it possible that he felt this way too?

When it was time for me to sleep, I slipped into Carlisle's closet and took one of his shirts from the laundry to sleep in, so that even if he couldn't hold me, I could at least be bathed in his scent. It seemed to work quite well, because I fell asleep easily and found myself dreaming of him. In my dream, he was lying in the bed with me, face to face, his arms around me, as he whispered his love for me into my ear. I could feel his cool tongue tracing my earlobe and then licking a trail down my neck to my collarbone. I shuddered, not from the coolness, but because it felt so good. He then placed feather-light kisses in a line across my chest, from shoulder to shoulder and I moaned. God, what this man could do to me! I was putty in his hands. His mouth moved up to the other side of my neck and he began to lightly suck on my pulse point. I breathed his name, begging him to continue.

Rather than continue his ministrations, however, he spoke. "Bella, sweetheart, I know you're dreaming of me... But I can promise you it will be even better if you wake up for it."

Suddenly, I wasn't sure what was real. Afraid to end such a good dream, I only allowed one eye to open by a centimeter. That tiny crack was enough, though, for me to check. He was really here!

"Carlisle! You're back!" I cried, throwing my arms around him.

"Yes, sweetheart, I've just arrived. I drove back as soon as my business was finished. I missed you so much, my love."

"I missed you too! I'm so glad you're back with me."

Without waiting for a response, I pushed my lips against his so that we could continue where he left off.

CPOV

After a rather exquisite hour of kissing Bella, she finally went back to sleep. It had been my intention to get everything into place for my afternoon plans while she slept, but I had missed her so much while I was in Vermont that I couldn't bear to leave her side.

A few hours later, when she was fully awake, we entered the kitchen together to get her some breakfast. I noticed on the way that she was wearing one of my shirts, and couldn't help feeling a bit aroused at how good she looked in it... And at the thought of how good she'd look out of it. _Not now, Carlisle. This is an important day. _She sat down on one of the high stools at the breakfast island was eating when the rest of the family made their entrance.

"Hey Carlisle," Alice said, greeting me with a hug. "Welcome home. I know you were otherwise occupied overnight and didn't have time to attend to the business you had intended, so I just wanted to let you know that it's all taken care of, and you'll find it where you are going. _Everything_ you need will be in the basket, alright?"

"Alice, you are a lifesaver. Thank you."

I could see Bella, as well as Rosalie and Emmett giving me questioning looks. Obviously Jasper had been filled in by Alice, as his smile matched hers.

"Come on, guys, let's go hunting!" Alice called to her siblings and husband. She gave me a quick wink before adding, "You two have a nice day, we won't be back until late this afternoon."

With that, they all ran out to the garage.

I glanced over at Bella, only to see that she was still staring at me. "Carlisle? What was that all about?"

I did my best to keep my voice from betraying my excitement, "Sweetheart, it's nothing. I had hoped that you and I could have a picnic by the river today-there is a nice spot that we all like to sit after hunting that I'd like to show you. Luckily, Alice knew of my plans and prepared the picnic basket for us so that we wouldn't have to go to the store. What do you think? Would you like to spend the day there with me?"

"That sounds great, honey," she answered, the skepticism still obvious in her voice.

"Alright. Why don't you go get yourself ready while I clean up these dishes? We will hike down to the clearing together, rather than running. Don't worry, though, it's a very easy walk."

Just over an hour later, we came out of the trees and walked into the clearing. I had enjoyed walking with her, as it gave us time to talk and simply enjoy each other's company.

As we entered, I saw that Alice had gone above and beyond this time. There was a red and white gingham blanket spread out in the grass, held down by several large rocks. Off to one side of the blanket sat a picnic basket and CD player. I gestured for Bella to sit and then walked over to press play on the device. It began to play and I immediately recognized the song as one of Frank Sinatra's. While I did enjoy the current music style, _this_ was truly my era when it came to music. I laughed to myself-Alice had really outdone herself. I'd be sure to thank her again later. I then went to the picnic basket and found what I was looking for, taking it out and slipping it into my pocket at vampire speed.

I walked back to Bella and sat behind her, pulling her back to me so that she was between my legs and leaning against my chest. She snuggled close to me and nestled her head into the crook of my neck.

"It's very beautiful here, Carlisle."

"Yes, it is. Not nearly as beautiful as you, though, sweetheart. Truly, Bella, I absolutely adore you."

"And I love you, Carlisle, more than anything," she said, leaning back and pressing a sweet kiss to my cheek.

"You know, I realized something while I was away."

"And what was that?"

"I realized that I very much dislike being away from you. It actually causes a physical pain in my chest. Bella, I don't want to be away from you anymore."

"Nor I you, Carlisle."

I lifted Bella and turned her so that she was facing me.

"Bella, sweetheart, you and I have overcome heartache together. We have healed and found a way to live again. We became friends and confidants, and over time, we fell in love. You have made me whole again, Bella. I know, now, that I would be lost without you. You bring me so much joy, so much peace. I love you more than I ever imagined I could."

I took her hands in my own, clutching them to my chest.

"I cannot live without you, Bella, nor do I ever wish to do so again. I promise I'll spend every moment of eternity making you happy. Isabella Marie Swan, please, say you'll be my wife. I would not wish any companion in the world but you."

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the small blue box, handing it to her. She took it, and opened it slowly, then gasped.

"Oh my God, Carlisle... It's beautiful!" She said, still looking at the ring. She looked up at me, then, her beautiful chocolate eyes wide with surprise, but full of love. "Of course, Carlisle! Of course I will be your wife! Nothing in this world would make me happier!"

I took the ring from her. It was amazing: a one and a half carat Lucida diamond cut in an wide octagonal shape, set deeply into a thick platinum band. Taking her left hand in my right, I slid it onto her ring finger, and then kissed it.

"Four years ago, I thought my world would be forever shrouded in darkness. But you saved me. You, Bella, are my light."

And with all said, I kissed her fiercely, making sure she felt all of my love for her. I heard the track on the CD change, and _Only Forever_ began to play. "Come, dance with me, my beautiful fiancee."

APOV

I had seen the vision of Carlisle's proposal while he was driving back from Vermont, and wanted to make it easier on him. I didn't want to let everyone in on the secret, though, so that Bella and Carlisle could be the ones to announce their happiness to all of us. Jasper, however, felt my emotions while I watched the vision, and they were borderline ecstatic, so I shared the news with him. After all, he had worked hard to help them get to this point, he deserved to know.

Jasper and I took my Porshe to Boston, to pick up the ring I had Seen Carlisle order from Tiffany & Co there. When we returned home, we went out to set up his picnic surprise, and I even added a CD of his favorite music so that they could dance - I knew how much he loved dancing with Bella. Once everything was set up, Jazzy and I took some time to enjoy nature ourselves...

In the morning, I convinced Rose and Emmett to go to a nearby wildlife preserve to go hunting so that we'd all be far enough away that Carlisle and Bella would have privacy. Rose and Emmett grilled me the entire time we were gone about what was happening, but I wouldn't give them any information. Emmett was certain that Carlisle was going to consummate the relationship, and had quite a few crass remarks to make about it.

Finally, I had the vision of them beginning to pack up the picnic supplies, so I demanded that we return home immediately. I drove, so we made it with time to spare. We were all sitting in the living room, looking out the window, waiting for them to return, when we caught first glimpse of them emerging from the forest.

It was at that moment that I saw my second vision from that day three years ago come true: Bella and Carlisle, hand and hand, emerged from the forest, each with their face turned toward the other, gazing into each other's eyes. The love shone from their faces, and I was filled with joy for them.

Carlisle saw us all standing there, and waved to us. He hurried Bella along, and they entered the house.

"I'm so glad you are all back, though I'm sure I have Alice to thank for it," he said, smiling warmly. "Bella and I have some news to share with you."

"Oh my god! That ring is amazing!" Rosalie screeched, running to Bella and grabbing her hand.

"Does that mean what I think it means?" Emmett asked.

"Yes," Carlisle answered proudly. His smile was as wide as I'd ever seen it, and his eyes were sparkling with a light I hadn't seen in so very long. "I've asked Bella to be my wife, and she's accepted."

I felt it immediately-Jasper had absorbed all the bliss and love that Carlisle and Bella were feeling and sent it out in waves for all of us to share. It was incredibly powerful and intense.

"Aw, that's great! Congratulations Dad! Congratulations...Mom?" Emmett said, unsure of that last part.

"God no!" Bella cried. "No. I am not, nor will I ever be the mother in this house. That was, and always will be, Esme's position. I may be older than you in human years, but the four of you practically raised me! You will forever be my siblings."

Emmett laughed and wiped the back of his hand on his forehead, breathing out a loud sigh.

As Rosalie hugged and congratulated Bella, Jasper and Emmett clapped Carlisle on the back and whispered their approval. When they had all finished, I grabbed Rose with one hand and Bella with the other.

"Come on girls! There's no time to waste! We have a wedding to plan!"

As we ran from the room, I could hear the three men laughing behind us, and I smiled... Finally. Our family was happy again.

**A/N: Well, what did you think? Did it live up to your expectations? **

**Next up: Bella takes Carlisle for a wild ride.**

**Here's some info from the chapter:**

**The last bit of Carlisle's proposal ("I would not wish any companion in the world but you.") is actually a quote taken from Shakespeare's The Tempest, Act 3 Scene 1. Carlisle knows how much Bella loves Shakespeare, especially since she wrote her thesis about his work, so he knew she'd recognize that line and it would be special to her.**

**Bella's engagement ring: See my profile for the link, for some reason it won't load here. Sorry. It's worth a look, though, it's gorgeous!**

**Lyrics to Only Forever, which belongs to Frank Sinatra (as far as I know it's his song)**

Do I want to be with you as the years come and go?  
Only forever if you care to know.  
Would I grant all your wishes and be proud of the task,  
Only forever if someone should ask.  
How long would it take me to be near if you beckon,  
Offhand I would figure, less than a second.  
Do you think I'll remember how you looked when you smiled,  
Only forever, that's putting it mild.


	29. 26 Take Me For A Ride

**A/N: Can you believe that Stephenie Meyer STILL owns Twilight? It's true.**

**So, let's join our newly-engaged couple for their first Saturday together as fiancees!**

**PS: I quite literally wrote this chapter with Marvin Gaye singing Let's Get it On in the background as inspiration. I think it helped.**

Chapter 26: Take Me for a Ride

CPOV

On Saturday morning, I left my bed before my beautiful fiancee awoke so that I could make breakfast for her. Being a vampire, I wasn't the greatest cook in the world, but I was able to accomplish the basics at least. I made her a plate of scrambled eggs and some cinnamon toast, then cut up some strawberries and a banana on the side. I ran out to the clearing behind the house and picked a few wildflowers, and then placed them into a small cup of water. I put everything on a tray and carried it back to the bedroom.

Setting the tray on the dresser, I returned to the bed and began placing light open-mouthed kisses in a line from Bella's collarbone to her ear, tracing her earlobe with my tongue before she gasped and arched her back towards me.

"Sweetheart, it's time for you to wake up. You said we had plans earlier than usual today, so I brought you breakfast in bed," I whispered. I placed a few more kisses along her jawline before claiming her lips.

She returned my kiss before opening her eyes, smiling. "For someone who doesn't sleep, you sure do know all the best ways to wake up."

"I'm glad to be of service. Here, let me get you your breakfast." I retrieved her tray and placed it next to her on the bed, then lay down on the opposite side of the bed on my side, facing her, smiling as I enjoyed the view. "So what are our big plans for the day?"

"Well, I checked it all out with Alice, and the weather will be overcast today, but no rain, so I'm going to take you out on my Ducati today. We'll take a long ride - we'll drive south along the Conneticut River until we get to Keene, then we'll go west to Concord. We can stop for lunch there. Then we'll get back on the bike, and drive north to Tilton so we can catch 4 back home. How does that sound?"

"Spending the day with my arms around my fiancee and the wind on my face? That sounds great, Bella."

"Okay," she said as she finished up her breakfast. "I love the way that sounds, by the way - fiancee," she said, smiling with a bit of a dreamy look in her eyes. It pleased me so much to see that reaction from her. "I'll start getting everything together, including myself, you get dressed too-make sure to wear long sleeves and jeans just in case." She gave me a quick kiss. "Let's try to be out of here in thirty minutes, okay?"

"Of course, sweetheart."

True to her word, Bella walked down the stairs thirty minutes later, presenting me with a view of what could easily be in contention for the sexiest thing I've ever seen: Bella, in a pair of tight-fitting jeans, a red tee shirt, and a leather jacket. I was hard instantly. It was the leather that did it, really, but the way the jeans conformed to her legs and her ass... This woman, _this vixen_, was going to be my _wife_. Surely I was the luckiest man in the world.

To my surprise, I found an even sexier sight in the garage - Bella, in that same outfit, straddling her Ducati. My tiny little fiancee, in leather, controlling the powerful machine under her. _Is it too late to spend the day in bed?_

"Ok honey, before we go, we have to have a quick lesson on the bike. First of all, trust me. As long as we are on this bike, you have to have full trust in me, otherwise it will work against us. I have never wrecked this bike in the nearly two years I've had it, and I don't plan on starting today. So your job is to hold onto me and move with me. When I lean, you lean. Some people get scared and try to balance the weight, but you don't want to do that. Just follow me. Got it?"

_Should I tell her that I didn't hear a word she just said, as I was too busy fantasizing about her riding me in that jacket instead of the bike? _

"You know, sweetheart, this is a safety issue, so why don't you repeat that once more, just to make sure I understand?"

_Nice save, Cullen._

She smirked at me, probably having some idea as to the real reason I asked her to repeat herself, seeing as how she is aware of my very acute hearing and memory... Oh well. What did she expect?

Just over two hours later, we were stopping the bike at a diner in Concord. I was very impressed with Bella's handling of the bike, and she looked so damn sexy on it. I know that she has always associated riding a motorcycle with Jacob Black, and Jasper was the one who convinced her to start riding again. I'm very grateful to him that he did that, not only so that I could share this day with her, but because it's obvious how much she enjoys it.

Bella had just finished her lunch when I took her hand in mine. "Bella? Thank you for taking me riding with you today." I said sincerely.

"Of course, honey. It was fun."

"It's been amazing, actually. You are an excellent rider." She blushed. "You're so very sexy on that bike, you know," I whispered, my voice becoming lower, and her blush deepened.

"Then I guess we'd better get back to it, don't you think?" She asked, her voice husky.

I dropped two twenties on the table, surely more than enough to pay the bill, and pulled her toward the door. I watched as she put on her helmet and riding jacket, feeling rather aroused yet again. I waited until she had started the bike before climbing on behind her.

For the ride up to Tilton, I tried to contain myself and my desire so that Bella could concentrate. Once she merged onto Highway 4, however, it had become too much for me. I could feel her body heat warming my entire front as I leaned into her, my arms holding her tightly under her jacket, the front of my legs pressed against the backs of hers. My arousal was growing, and I knew she would be able to feel it against her back.

Slowly, I trailed my hands up her sides, beginning at her waist, until I reached her ribs, and then turned my hands inward to cup her breasts. Despite the roar of the bike and the wind, I could hear her gasp as I swept my fingers over her nipples. I was desperate to kiss the soft skin of her neck, but I knew it would not be possible with the helmets on, so I concentrated on touching her. It was not the safest way to behave, I knew that, but truly, this woman was irresistible.

After a moment, the bike had slowed quite noticeably, and I could hear her moan being carried to me on the wind. I slipped my hands down again, tracing her abdomen, until I reached the hem of her shirt. I lifted it slightly, sliding my hands underneath it. Once again, I skimmed my fingers over her smooth skin until I found her luscious breasts, taking them into my hands and massaging them. I slid the lacy cups of her bra down enough to gain access to her nipples, and rolled them between my fingers. She arched into my hands, and I could hear her breath becoming ragged.

She pulled the bike to the side of the road and stopped, pulling off her helmet. I removed mine as well. "God, Carlisle, you are making me crazy!"

"Does it feel good, sweetheart?" I asked, my voice low, bringing my lips down to nip along her neck, my hands still fondling her breasts.

"So good, honey, so good," she breathed as she rolled her head back onto my shoulder. "I want you so bad."

"I know, sweetheart, I want you too." I paused, but the feeling of her breath on my neck and her breasts in my hands overcame the last of my restraint. I spoke again, my voice heavy with want. "You know what I want? I want you to turn off the bike. Then I want to carry you down to that copse of trees over there, lay you in the grass, and have my way with you." She moaned, long and low, and arched again into my palms. "Believe me, Bella, I want to so much. I've been thinking about it. All. Day. Long."

"So do it, Carlisle. Please..." She pleaded, pulling the key from the ignition.

"I want to, sweetheart. You have no idea just how much I want to. I have been hard ever since you walked down the stairs in that jacket. But we should wait until we get home... It's not right for me to do it this way."

She sighed, and even without Jasper's power I could feel her frustration. She leaned forward, effectively removing her body from me, and turned, scowling at me. "Carlisle, honey, you are a wonderful man. But really, I've just about reached my limit with absurdly moral vampires for one lifetime!"

I laughed heartily. "I know, sweetheart, and I'm sorry. Let's get back on the road. I promise I'll keep my hands to myself for the rest of the ride."

"NO! I don't want to get back on the road! I WANT to go down into the trees!"

"Sweetheart," I growled.

She raised an eyebrow at me, and I knew I was beat. Who was I to say no to this woman?

"You are incorrigible," I said, as I picked her up and ran at vampire speed down to the tree line.

I found a nice spot of grass that was secluded behind the trees so we would not be seen from the road, and sat Bella on the ground. I dropped to my knees and immediately attacked her mouth, having wanted to for so long already, I had absolutely no patience left. I thrust my tongue in between her lips and explored her mouth hungrily. At the same time I was pushing her jacket back off of her shoulders. As much as I may like it, I didn't want anything between us now. I needed to feel her soft, warm flesh beneath me now.

We continued kissing feverishly as she shrugged the jacket off, and only broke apart for a moment while I lifted her tee shirt and mine over our heads. Once she was free of the fabric, she flew forward, pressing her mouth back to mine as she pushed against me, indicating her desire for me to lay back in the grass. _Oh, what a sight she is on top of me!_ Our skin, the temperatures and textures so opposite, met in indescribable sensation. Her tongue licked along my lower lip and I opened my mouth to her that she might enter. I reached around her back and unfastened the sexy black bra that she was wearing, tossing it to the side before returning my hands to the flesh of her back and stroking it gently.

Needing air, she pulled back from my mouth, but immediately moved her mouth to my neck, licking, nipping and sucking the skin there. I heard myself purr at the sensation, which made her moan against me.

My cock, having been hard for hours by this point, was throbbing now. I ached for her. I thrust my hips up a bit so that I could rub against her core, the friction it caused making me shudder and groan.

"God, Bella... I need you so much!"

"Mmmm...Carlisle... You taste so good," she said, her voice slightly muffled by my shoulder as she licked at it.

_Taste? Taste.... I want to taste her. God help me, I want that. I need that._

I slipped my hand behind her head and flipped us over at vampire speed so that I was hovering over her. I brought my mouth down to one luscious breast, laving and teasing her nipple with my tongue and used my hand to tease the other. I felt her back arch, pushing her breasts closer to me, and growled into her nipple.

"Aaaahhh... yes, baby... mmmmmm....Carlisle" she panted.

"You like that, Bella? Do you like it when I tug on your sweet little nipples?"

"God, yes!"

"Your breasts taste so sweet, Bella, like the finest wine. It makes me want more..."

"Ooooohhhh... honey.... as much...as you...want... yours..." she breathed, her fingernails digging into the hard flesh of my shoulder blades.

_Mine.... yes, mine. _

I slowly made my way down to the waistband of her jeans with my mouth, licking a trail all the way down. While I paid some necessary attention to the tender, silky skin of her stomach, her hands tangling in my hair, tugging lightly, I found the button of her jeans and worked it open. She lifted her hips for me as I pulled her jeans off of her, and I found a tiny pair of black lace panties underneath. My arousal surged. _So god damn sexy!_

"Bella... you are so very sexy."

I pressed my lips to her hipbone, sucking it just hard enough to mark her. _That's right. Mine. All mine._ Then I poked out my tongue and followed the band of her panties across to the other hip. Her breath hitched and she moaned loudly.

"Carlisle!" she cried as I grasped the top of her panties with my teeth and began pulling them down her shapely legs. I inhaled deeply as I passed over her heat, reveling in the scent of her arousal. Once I discarded the panties off to the side, I took her left leg in my hands and held it up, kissing and licking my way all the way from her ankle to her inner thigh. She moaned and gasped the closer I got to her sex, but I stopped before arriving there. I chuckled lightly as I heard her whimper when I laid the leg back down. _Don't worry, baby, I'll get there soon._

I reached for the right leg then, giving it the same treatment as the right. This time, though, I didn't stop. The closer I got to the apex of her thighs, the more the scent drew me in. Dropping her right leg down, I positioned myself between her legs, pushing them a bit further apart. I looked up once more at her beautiful face - her head was thrown back, eyelids barely open, but enough to reveal that her eyes were rolled back in ecstasy, her mouth open with her pants... She was glorious!

Then I brought my mouth down to her sex, letting my tongue slip into the slit and bringing it up, slowly, taking in every bit of that sweet essence. _Mmmmmm...._ I heard Bella's gasp just before she cried out my name once again. _My name has never sounded better. Have to make her do that again! _I licked up to her clit, circling that tiny little bundle with my tongue twice before sucking it into my mouth.

"Oh god!... Carlisle!... uuuuggghhh!"

"That's right, Bella...let me hear how much you love it! You are heaven!"

"Mmmmm.... Honey, yeah.... don't.....don't....stop" she whimpered.

"Never, baby, never."

I was in pure bliss. Drinking blood had never felt like this, and I wondered if I might survive on just this taste for the rest of eternity. I knew I could never get enough of it.

I alternated sucking her clit and licking up and down her folds until her cries became incomprehensible moaning. Every sound she made went straight to my cock, every sound encouraging me, begging me for more. And I was more than happy to oblige.

I could feel her getting close. I looked up without moving my head as I plunged my tongue into her heat, wanting to see her come undone. She was thrashing, her head going from side to side and her back arched up like a cat, her arms wildly clawing at the grass around her. _God, she's so warm....so tight...how I wish it was my cock inside her! _The sounds coming out of her were primal, animalistic even. I could detect nothing resembling words anymore.

I brought two fingers up to tease her clit as I continued plunging my tongue into her core, tasting every bit of the sweet nectar she offered.

"Oh! Carlisle... I'm....need...I....aaaaaahhhhhh....cum....uuuuugggghhhhh...."

_Listen to her - to what I've done to her - she can't even put words together!_

"That's it baby, cum for me. I want it! I want to taste it baby... you're so delicious. Give it to me, Bella!"

That was all it took, and I felt her walls squeezing and clenching, her juices releasing onto my waiting tongue. I lapped up every drop as she rode out her orgasm, crying out my name as she came.

When her body relaxed, I pressed one final kiss on the top of her mound, then slowly kissed my way back up to her lips, passing over her heaving chest, still heavy with her breathing. I kissed her gently as she lay there, still panting, eyes closed, then whispered my love into her ear.

It took her a few minutes to calm, but I didn't mind waiting. Every second that it took proved to me how much pleasure I had given her, and the thought thrilled me. _I _made her feel this way.

When she had finally come down from her high, she looked at me with eyes that seemed to express both desire and contentment, hunger and satiation.

"_That_ was incredible."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it. I certainly did," I said with a chuckle.

She grinned. "I don't think there was any question of my enjoyment. The people living in the nearest town are probably pretty certain of my enjoyment as well," she said, blushing a bit.

"Don't be embarrassed," I said, whispering into her ear in a husky voice. "Your moans, your screams... Every sound you make... They make me want you even more. God, when you cry out my name, it nearly makes me cum. I will never stop wanting to hear that."

"Speaking of which, Dr. Cullen, I don't believe you've had an opportunity to do so just yet," she said, her voice dripping with sex. _I love when she calls me Dr. Cullen!_

She put one hand up on the shoulder which was off the ground, pressing against me, asking me to lay on my back. I complied, and she crawled up on top of me, straddling my hips. She began placing warm, wet kisses all over me, starting with my face, then moving to my ear and down my neck. By the time she had reached my nipples, I was groaning and purring, not sure how much more I could take. My arousal had been maintained so long already that these tiny little touches were driving me wild. It was all I could do to keep myself still and let her continue, as my instincts were demanding that I flip us over and simply take her right there in the woods.

She had finally reached my abdomen, and was licking circles around my belly button as she undid my pants and pulled both my jeans and my boxer briefs down, finally freeing the erection that had been so uncomfortably straining against them for so long.

I heaved a sigh of relief, and she chuckled.

She came back over me, straddling my knees, and brought her tongue to the v of my hips, licking slowly down towards my waiting arousal. Just as I had teased her, she was teasing me, stopping before she got there and moving to repeat the motion on the other side. Just as she was nearing my erection, I reached a hand down to stop her.

"Bella, sweetheart, you don't have to..."

"Carlisle, I know. But you have no idea how much I want to," she said wantonly, as she lowered her face again.

"Wait! Wait, baby. I'm not going to stop you, believe me, but you have to move away when I tell you, alright? I don't know what the venom will do to you."

"No, Carlisle, if there's a problem, just bite me. I want it, Carlisle, please, I want to taste you too."

I couldn't believe I was managing to carry on a coherent conversation right now, with her face so close to me and her hot breath coming out directly on my cock. Hell, if I wasn't a vampire I probably would have lost consciousness by now!

"Bella," I said, a bit sternly. "Please do this for me. I promise you, after our wedding, I will not stop you if you still want that. But you have only weeks left until your graduation, I refuse to take the risk of being forced to bite you tonight. Not to mention how in the hell would we get home if I bit you here?"

"Fine," she grumbled. I laughed lightly at the ridiculousness of the conversation, but was quickly distracted my her warm hand grasping my cock and pumping it twice.

"Oooohhhh, God Bella!"

Then, in a move I had only ever fantasized about, she brought her mouth down to the tip of my erection, running her tongue over the head, circling it twice, before descending and taking the whole length into her hot little mouth.

"Uuuuuuuugggggghhhhh! Bella!....aaaaahhhhh....hell....oh god..."

I was unable to make any coherent speech, only moans. She was slowly bobbing her head up and down my length, swirling her tongue around wherever she could. One hand had found its way to my balls and was alternating between massaging and tugging lightly on them.

_Oh god oh god oh god oh god! So good! So good! Must hold still, must not thrust! Oh god oh god oh god!_

"Oh god....Bella....baby.....don't.....don't....stop....please..." I panted desperately.

She moaned in response to my pleading while her mouth was still firmly on my cock, making a vibrating sensation that nearly pushed me over the edge, and I groaned loudly.

_Hold on Carlisle, hold on...make it last...don't let go yet. Don't want it to be over. Oh god oh god oh god!_

Her mouth made a vacuum then, sucking harder than before. I threw my hands over my head and fisted them in my hair, tugging on it, trying to hold onto the last miniscule thread of control I had left.

"Bella! God!...Just....like....that....Shit!...So...damn good....uuuugggghhhh!"

I opened my eyes to look down at her. She looked so hot with her head between my legs, her mahogany hair falling down, framing her face. But then she looked up at me through her eyelashes, and it was too much.

_The sexiest thing I've ever seen!_

_$*(#*Y%*(#%!%_)$(#!)(*%_$_

"Oh god, Bella! Move, move now!"

Luckily she listened, pulling her face away just in time as I leaned to the side and shot streams of cum out at incredible speed into the grass, yelling out her name as I did so. I wasn't sure that I'd ever some so hard in my entire existence.

I fell back down into the grass, breathing heavily still, pulling her down on top of me. I kissed her deeply, trying to express my gratitude for what she had done for me. When she needed air, I let her pull away and she dropped her head, letting it rest on my chest. I whispered my thanks and my love to her as I laid there with my eyes still closed. I stroked her hair, and she quickly fell asleep.

We laid there for some length of time that I did not bother to measure. It could have been minutes or hours, but it did not matter. The only thing in the world that mattered was the two of us, laying naked in each other's arms here in the grass, head over heels in love.

Eventually, Bella awakened, we dressed, and made our way back up to the Ducati, still parked on the side of the highway. I gave her one last kiss before she put her helmet on, and then she started up the bike. We drove the rest of the way home without incident, and I enjoyed the simple pleasure of feeling my arms wrapped around the waist of the woman I loved.

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed the ride. I'm pretty sure that was the best motorcycle ride Bella has ever been on... As for that dirty talking Carlisle? He was a bit embarrassed at having spoken that way to a lady. He blames the leather jacket. But tell me he didn't leave you in need of a cold shower! I know that's where I'm heading right now. ;)**

**If you have any suggestions on music for me to listen to while writing these lemons (besides marvin gaye and barry white) let me know. I need some more inspiration!**

**Finally, please go to my profile page and take part in the poll. It's on an important plot question, and I'd really like to see what you'd all prefer. Thanks!**

**Next up: Time to give Bella's parents the good news. How will they take it?**


	30. 27 Sharing the News

**A/N: Stephenie Meyer created, I just play with it. **

**IMPORTANT: I have a poll regarding this story on my profile. It is a very important issue regarding the plot of this story that I'd really like your input on. It's Tuesday now, I'll leave it up until Friday. Thanks!**

**Just a bit of fluffy family stuff in this chapter, but I think you'll like Charlie.**

**Oh, and PS: Your reviews on the lemon chapters are HILARIOUS. I am lovin' it! (Really I enjoy the reviews no matter what, but those ones tend to be quite funny.)**

Chapter 27 - Sharing the News

BPOV

It was Wednesday morning, the Wednesday following the best motorcycle trip in history, and I was still on cloud nine. I was sitting at the dining room table with my whole family, despite the fact that I was the only one eating breakfast. This was normal for Carlisle and I - he sat and read the newspaper while I ate nearly every morning. I wasn't completely sure why everyone else had decided to join us this morning, though I didn't mind.

Well, I didn't mind in theory. This particular breakfast was turning into a circus quite quickly. This morning, Emmett had felt the urge to "help" me cook, resulting in an entire carton of broken eggs (he was determined to crack the egg by himself), and now he was poking around at my plate trying to understand how eggs, milk and bread ended up looking the way it did. Rosalie spent her time smacking his hand away and threatening to make him eat a piece of it himself. Alice was sitting next to a stack of bridal magazines that was piled so high that we could no longer see her. The only reason I knew she was still there was that I kept hearing her let out excited squeals when she got ideas.

All of this was manageable. My real problem was coming from Carlisle and Jasper. Carlisle was sitting next to me, his knee rubbing ever so casually against mine. Normally, not a problem. However, on this particular morning, my handsome fiancee had snuck into the shower while I was washing my hair and made it a very good morning indeed. So now, every time he touched me, it would remind me of what we had just done, which led to Jasper raising his eyebrows at me, which of course made me blush furiously. To complete the vicious cycle, Emmett would see my blush and demand to know the cause.

I tried my hardest to end this breakfast quickly and without further incident, but apparently the orgasm I had given Carlisle in the shower was adding to, rather than diminishing his desire. Just as I was finishing the last bites of my fruit salad, Carlisle slipped his hand under the table and laid it on my upper thigh, reaching his fingers toward my center as he stroked my leg through my khaki pants. I tried to conceal the deep breath I sucked in, but being in a room full of vampires, I'm sure everyone heard.

Suddenly, Jasper jumped up, knocking his chair over in the process, and ran out of the room, yelling "God dammit Bella!" on his way out. Alice, who still could not actually be seen from behind the magazines, but had most likely had a vision and knew what was wrong, was laughing hysterically. Emmett still seemed a bit confused, but Rosalie had put the pieces together already, and was whispering something to him which led to both of them laughing.

Emmett got up from the table and began walking from the room. Before he left, though, he had a bit of advice for us. "Hey, Carlisle, we have to leave for school in fifteen minutes. Why don't you take whatever funny business you've got going on with my baby sister up to the bedroom to finish up rather than doing it in front of all of us?"

I buried my head in my arms on the table and sighed. Just another morning at the Cullen house.

I heard Rose and Alice scurry out of the room after Emmett's departure, giggling the whole way, and then felt Carlisle's hand on my back, rubbing slow, soothing circles.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I suppose I didn't help much this morning," he said, a chuckle in his voice.

I looked up at him with a mock glare. "No, you really did not."

"I could take you back to my room and make it up to you as Emmett suggested..." he said suggestively.

I raised one eyebrow at him. "Don't you ever get enough?" _Yeah, Bella, because you aren't just as bad, right? _

"Of you? Not possible."

He lifted me up out of my seat and pulled me into his lap, facing him, and kissed me deeply.

"Don't forget to call your mom today, sweetheart. If you want to wait until I get home to call Charlie, that's fine, thanks to the time change. But it will be too late by then to call Renee."

"I know. I'm going to call her as soon as my music class lets out, while I'm waiting for everyone else to finish their classes."

"Wonderful," he said, kissing me once more. "Now, as much as I really would like to take you inside and ravish you once more, we both really do need to be going," he said, winking at me.

I shook my head. "You are insatiable. Go to work, save some lives. I'll see you tonight, alright?" I gave him one last kiss before getting up from his lap and running up to my room to grab my school bag.

When my music class finished, I walked out to the green and found a nice spot to sit under a tree. I pulled out my cell phone and tried to steel myself for the call I had to make. While admittedly I was much more nervous to tell my mother when Edward asked me to marry him than I was this time, I still wasn't excited to do this. That disappointed me, because I really _was_ excited about the news itself. I just wasn't sure exactly how she'd react. Sure, she had said she was happy for us before she left last month, but this _had_ happened pretty fast, and I could only hope that she'd be positive about it.

I dialed her number and she picked up on the third ring, sounding a bit out of breath.

"Bella?"

"Yeah, mom, it's me. Why do you sound like that?"

"I was rushing around trying to find the phone... I wasn't sure where I had left it." _Typical Renee._

"Oh, ok. Well, I was calling for two reasons. First, I wanted to invite you to come up here for my graduation. It's on June 12, and I'm happy to pay for you and Phil to fly here. You're welcome to stay with us for as long as you like."

"Actually, honey, Alice already invited us last week. She's a planner, that one." _You have no idea, mom._ "Anyway, I'm coming, but Phil won't be able to make it. He has another coaching interview that same week, and it's for a team here in Florida, so he really doesn't want to pass it up."

"That's fine, Mom. I'm glad you'll be able to come at least."

"Me too, honey. I'm so proud of what you've accomplished. I wouldn't miss it."

"Thanks mom."

"So what's your other news?"

"Well, actually, it's very exciting news. Carlisle asked me to marry him, and I accepted!"

I tried to sound super enthusiastic, hoping it would be contagious.

"Congratulations, Bella," she said sincerely. _Really? That was easy. _"I know it took me a bit of time to warm up, but I really am happy you you baby girl."

"Thank you, Mom. You have no idea how much that means to me."

"I talked to Charlie, you know."

"No, I didn't. About what?"

"About Carlisle."

"Really?" I was shocked.

"Yes. I wanted to hear what he had to say about the man who stole my daughter's heart."

Now I was curious. "What did he have to say?"

"I'm not going to get into it. Let's just say that your father doesn't take well to any negative talk about Carlisle."

I laughed, remembering the first time I ever mentioned the Cullens to my dad in his kitchen, six long years ago.

"That's very true."

"I got a nice long lecture singing the good doctor's praises, in fact."

"Well, Charlie always was a loyal one," I said, smiling.

"So, baby girl, you had a short relationship so far, I assume you'll have a long engagement?"

My smile disappeared. _I knew there was going to be a catch. _"No, mom. We're getting married the end of July."

"But Bella, why are you rushing. Are you pregnant?"

"NO! Mom, I am not pregnant. Carlisle and I haven't had sex, and we aren't going to until we are married."

"Oh, I see... He's rushing you for the wedding so you can be intimate."

Now I was angry. "Renee. Stop it, now. First of all, Carlisle is the one who wanted to wait. He's a good man, mother, and you'd do well to remember that. He cares about _me_, not sleeping with me. I was in love with him for a year before we even got together! The reason for the speed is that neither of us wants to wait. We have both lost someone that we loved in the past, we know that life and fate can sneak up and take everything away from you. I'm not willing to take the chance of something happening and me losing him before I'm his and he's mine. Did you know, mother, that Edward asked me to marry him? And I said yes. That ring that I used to wear, the one that I told you was Edward's mother's and I wore it in memory of him? All that was true. I just left out the part where it was my engagement ring. We were engaged, and he died two days later! Why would I want to prolong an engagement after that?

I love Carlisle, mom, more than I've ever loved anyone else, more than I ever could love anyone else, and I want to be with him forever. That is reason enough to get married. I don't understand how you can be happy for me one minute and then like this the next!"

"You and Edward were engaged?"

"Yes."

"You never told me." I could hear tears in her voice.

"There was no reason to. He died." All emotion was gone from my voice.

"I'm sorry, Bella. You're right. I saw you two together, I know how much you love him. I promised to trust you, and I'm not doing a very good job of that right now. Forgive me, please, Bella. I'll support you from now on, I promise."

"Ok Mom."

"So tell me about the wedding. I assume Alice is planning everything?"

I chatted with my mom about what Alice had planned so far for about ten minutes until the little pixie showed up in the flesh. She took the phone away from me and talked to my mother, letting her know that she'd be happy to book her travel for her, and she'd call her later so they could discuss more details. I took the phone back to say good-bye to my mother, surprised that it had been this easy.

The afternoon went by quickly while I waited for Carlisle to come home. Alice, Rose and I sat looking over bridal catalogs together, in search of the perfect dress. Well, to be more specific, we were looking for what I wanted in the perfect dress, because Alice would never order from a catalog. We had been looking for a couple of hours when I saw a few things that I liked, and tried to put them together in my mind. Suddenly, Alice jumped up from the ground, squealing.

"Oh Bella, it's perfect!" she said, jumping up and down.

Apparently, I had just chosen my wedding dress. _Not as hard as I thought it would be._

Later, after Carlisle had returned from this hospital, we sat together on the tree swing outside to call Charlie. After hearing what he said to my mother, I had no real worry about his reaction. I hoped he'd be as happy as we were, and I was looking forward to his reaction to my asking him to walk me down the aisle. With Carlisle's arm around me, I dialed the number. Charlie picked up on the second ring.

"Hello?" He asked, his voice a bit gruff as usual.

"Hi, Dad. It's Bella."

"Hey Bells, how're you doing? Alice already called me about graduation you know."

"Yeah, I figured. She's good at that kind of thing. Are you going to come?"

"Yes, I'll be there, but Sue won't be able to make it." (My dad had been seeing Sue Clearwater, Seth and Leah's mom, for two years now. I was thrilled when he told me, as I was pretty sure this was the first time he'd dated since my mom.)

"Oh, that's too bad, but I understand. We'll be flying back to Forks with you anyways, so I'll see her then."

"That's right - you'll be coming out to see the grave, right?"

"Yeah, dad, that's right. But actually we're going to stick around this time."

"What do you mean?"

"We're going to stay in Forks until the end of July."

"That's great Bells! It'll be so good to have you around for awhile. It's been too long since you spent any real time here."

"I know, Dad, and I'm sorry about that. I've been so busy with school, you know."

"I know, and I'm real proud about that, so don't you worry your little head about it."

I smiled. Charlie always had a way with words...

"So dad, there's actually a reason we're staying so long this time."

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"Carlisle and I are getting married on July 25!"

"Really Bells? That's great honey! Really soon, though."

"I know, Dad, but we don't want to wait. I love him too much, and all I want in the world is to be his wife. The sooner the better, actually." I smiled up at Carlisle, who was beaming.

"Is he there now?"

"Yeah, Dad, he's sitting next to me."

"Give him the phone, will ya?"

I passed the phone to Carlisle and waited patiently.

"Hello Chief Swan....alright, Charlie...Thank you very much sir...I am, I am... You know I will...Yes, we'll see you soon. Goodnight Charlie."

I looked at him questioningly, but he just shook his head as he handed me the phone.

"Dad?"

"Yeah, Bells. Listen, Sue will be here in a minute, so I have to go. But I want you to know that I'm real happy for you. Carlisle is a good man, and he'll be a good husband for you. I love you Bells."

"I love you too, Dad. See you in three weeks."

I hung up, and Carlisle leaned in to kiss me. "That man loves you almost as much as I do, you know," he said.

"He's a pretty big fan of yours too," I teased.

"So, Miss Swan, what do you say we go back inside and put you to bed?" He asked with a twinkle in his eye.

"Oh, I think that is a very good idea, Dr. Cullen."

He stood quickly, and, lifting me easily off the swing, threw me over his shoulder and ran me into the house, laughing all the way.

**A/N: Hope that was good for you. Just wanted to let you know that I realized today that none of the links I post show up in the story, so if you want to see any of them, I put them all up sorted by chapter on my profile page for you. **

**Next up: Carlisle picks the Saturday activity.**


	31. 28 Play Ball!

**A/N: All hail Stephenie Meyer, creator and owner of Twilight, for giving us such lovely characters to play with.**

Chapter 28: Play Ball!

BPOV

On Thursday morning over breakfast, Carlisle asked me what I had planned for Saturday. It wasn't until he mentioned it that I realized that I had completely forgotten about it while I was caught up putting the finishing touches on my senior thesis, which had been turned in the day before. I felt awful admitting it, but he was thrilled. As it turned out, he had something that he wanted us to do together - something he _still_ refused to tell me - on Saturday. So here it was, Saturday morning, and for the first time in quite a while, I had no idea what my plans were for the day.

As I sat on the couch cuddling with Carlisle, Alice came dancing down the stairs from her room.

"Good morning you two!" she sang.

"Morning, Alice. Are you going hunting today?"

"Yep, we're going to go out to the big park, Emmett's hoping to find some bears," she said with a grin. "So you two are all set up for today. Your clothes are laid out on the bed - I got you something different for morning and afternoon," she added, winking at Carlisle. "See you tomorrow!"

She ran out towards the garage, followed by the rest of my siblings seconds later. I looked up at Carlisle to question him about Alice's comment, but he shook his head.

"You heard the lady - go get dressed!"

I acquiesced, knowing that he wouldn't give anything away, and gave him a quick kiss before walking up to my room. Once there, I found two packages on my bed. There was a tag on each, letting me know which was for morning and which for afternoon. _These Cullens love their secrets._ I sighed, and then opened the morning package. Inside was a light blue baseball tee shirt with navy sleeves, a pair of navy blue capris, a white cap and blue and white sketchers tennis shoes. _Baseball? Oh, right, Carlisle's never seen me in PE. _I smiled in spite of myself, and got dressed, pulling my hair up into a ponytail and tucking it through the hole in the back of the cap.

I walked back down to the living room and saw Carlisle waiting for me. _Oh holy hell! _He was wearing a baseball tee in the reverse colors of mine, and it fit him close to the body, showing off his amazingly sculpted chest. _God, the nurses at the hospital think he's sexy in a dress shirt..._ He wore it with a pair of khaki shorts and tennis shoes. He flashed his most gorgeous smile as I approached, my eyes burning with lust.

"How is it," I asked huskily, putting my palms on his chest, "that, as a vampire who cannot change, you get sexier every time I see you?"

He chuckled lightly and then pulled me into him, pressing his mouth firmly to mine. "As I told you, Bella, you are incorrigible," he said with a smirk as he pulled away. "Now come on, there's plenty of time for _that_ later. We have places to go."

He tugged on my hand and led me out to the car.

About fifteen minutes later we arrived at our first destination - a small park with plenty of shade trees. We got out of the car and Carlisle went to fetch his supplies from the trunk. He carried a large duffle bag in one hand and held my hand in his other as we walked out into the grass. We found a nice spot and sat down.

"So do I get to know what we're doing here yet?" I asked.

"Yes. I've been thinking quite a bit about the future recently, especially now that you've agreed to be my wife. You'll be joining us as a vampire in the near future as well, and there are many skills you'll have to learn once that time comes. Most of them, like hunting and dealing with your strength, there's no way to practice. However, there is one thing that I can teach you now while you're still human, and that's what I'd like to do today," he said with a grin.

"Ok, that sounds reasonable," I agreed.

"Good. Because today I'm going to teach you how to play baseball."

I grimaced involuntarily. "Honey, I know that I've outgrown a lot of my clumsiness in the last few years, but I don't think you quite understand how bad I am in PE."

He laughed heartily. "Oh sweetheart, it's alright. Once you're a vampire that won't be a problem anymore. And for now, I'm just going to teach you the basics. Even if you're awful, we'll still have fun, I promise." He tilted his face down and placed a sweet kiss to my lips.

I smiled. "Well, at least you're a vampire... I can't really hurt you."

We both chuckled at that while Carlisle reached into his bag and pulled out a ball and a couple of baseball mitts, handing one of them to me.

"Ok, Coach Cullen, I'm ready to learn."

"That's good. The most important thing I can teach you all day is to keep your eye on the ball. That goes for catching and hitting, mind you. I promise you, I will throw the ball to you very lightly, even for a human, so it will not hurt you. Don't be afraid of it."

"Ok," I agreed skeptically.

He showed me how to hold the mitt in order to catch the ball and how to use my hand to cover it once I did, though I admit having a bit of trouble concentrating while his hands were on me. Then, unfortunately, we had to move a ways apart so that we could actually toss the ball back and forth.

It took a while, but eventually I got the hang of it, and while I was nowhere near as good as any of my family, I could throw pretty accurately, and my catching was at about seventy-five percent. I was even able to catch the ball when Carlisle threw it overhand to me in addition to his little underhand pitches. The funny thing was, I was really enjoying myself. I had never in my life found any enjoyment in playing sports before this afternoon.

After catching my third high fly ball, Carlisle ran to me, wrapping his arms around my waist, and lifted me up in the air, spinning us around and laughing merrily. "I'm so proud of you sweetheart," he said as he set me down. "Now let's go get you some lunch."

We drove back into town and had a quick lunch at one of the local delis, then we drove to our next stop: the batting cages.

"Alright, honey, I was brave and played catch with you, because you were gentle with me. But now you want me to stand in a metal cage while a machine flings a ball super fast toward me?" I asked incredulously.

"Bella, sweetheart, you know I wouldn't let anyone hurt you, not even a machine. The machines can be set for slow pitch, which is what we'll use, and you'll have a helmet on as well. Just trust me, ok?"

I wasn't really convinced, but I agreed anyway. Carlisle went inside to pay, and returned with a bat and a helmet, which he set on my head over my cap.

"There. Look how adorable you are now," he teased. I scowled back, but only in jest. "Come on in," he said, holding the door to the cage open.

We walked in together, and he helped position me on the side of the plate, slowly running his hands up and down my body as he got me into the correct stance. I was sure he knew exactly what he was doing to me, especially when I felt his hands getting dangerously near my center and couldn't stop the shiver. He stood up then, and positioned himself behind me, every bit of my back side touching him. It was becoming harder and harder to concentrate.

_And speaking of hard... Looks like I'm not the only one with that on their mind!_

He was leaning in close, his mouth near my ear, his voice low, his arousal pressed into my ass. "Now, sweetheart, don't forget what I told you earlier about watching the ball - you can't take your eyes off of it." His hands came to my shoulders and traced the line of my arms all the way down until they reached my hands on the bat, and covered them. My breathing hitched, and I could hear my heart pumping wildly. "When the ball is about a foot in front of you, that's when you want to swing the bat. Just. Like. This." He moved both of our bodies at once, showing me exactly how to swing. I wasn't sure how much more of this teasing I could take... my panties were already quite wet. "You want to try to hit balls that are in your range. That's from about here" (he placed one palm on the top of the swell of my breasts), "to here" (the other palm came to rest just above the top of my panties). "Anywhere in the middle is a good pitch to swing at, although some people prefer when they come just a bit lower," he continued, as he slid his lower hand down to cup my sex, causing me to moan loudly. _I will never look at baseball the same way again._ His lips were on my shoulder now, kissing me through the fabric of my tee shirt, and he was grinding his erection against my ass. My panties were soaked and I knew he was aware of it.

I briefly wondered how much trouble we would get into if we couldn't control ourselves any longer and got it on right in this batting cage, but he spoke again before I could make the suggestion.

"So do you think you understand all of that?" He asked.

"God yes," I whispered.

His entire body left mine, then, and he walked over to start the machine. _Are you kidding me?_

Despite all of his teasing, I had apparently learned something, because I did pretty well with the bat. Maybe it was because I couldn't get the feeling of him on me off my mind, and focused so hard on everything he had showed me. Or maybe it was because I was determined to do well so we could go home and have a bit more, um.... instruction. At any rate, by the fourth time he set the machine, I was hitting eighty percent of the pitches, and we were both sufficiently impressed.

"Alright, Bella, time to pack up and go back to the house," he said. _Thank God._

We had barely gotten the front door closed when I attacked him, jumping up into his arms and kissing him passionately on his lips. I immediately begged entrance into his mouth, and he opened for me, letting me revel in his delicious taste. I pulled my mouth away to take a breath, and whispered, "Bedroom, now!" to him before pressing my lips back to his. I felt the breeze in my hair, letting me know that he was running back to his room, and then I felt the soft down of his comforter on my back.

"We don't have much time, Bella. We have to leave soon." He said between kisses.

"We don't have to go anywhere, honey. Just right here," I said as I pressed my palm against the erection straining against his shorts.

"We do, but that doesn't mean we can't have a little fun first. We just have to be quick about it," he said, groaning a bit at my touch.

"Sounds good to me," I agreed, pressing my mouth back to his, opening it to deepen the kiss and allow him entrance.

Our hands were making quick work of our clothes as our tongues continued to dance passionately. It didn't take long until both of us were naked and running our hands all over each other. I needed him. His teasing had made me so hot and so ready for him, and I couldn't wait another minute to feel him.

I pressed my hand against his shoulder, telling him to lay back. He rolled, pulling me over him as he did. I straddled him, taking just a moment to admire his beautiful body before bringing my mouth down to his skin, starting with his chest and descending slowly until I reached his groin. Knowing that there was no time to tease, I immediately took his entire length into my mouth, moaning as I tasted the pre-cum dripping from the tip.

"Oh hell Bella....ooooooohhhhhh..."

I bobbed my head up and down on his length, swirling my tongue over every inch of it, then brought my mouth slowly off of him, teasing the head with my tongue before sliding all the way back down again. I relaxed the back of my throat so as not to gag, and took in the last little bit, bringing my nose flush with his golden curls.

"Uuuuuuugggggghhhhhh Bella! Oh god!....So good....baby....aaaaahhhhhhh"

I loved that I could make him sound like that. I hummed my appreciation, making him growl softly. I brought my hand up to cup his balls, tugging them lightly, trying to bring him as much enjoyment as I could. I sucked my cheeks in as tightly as I could, making a strong vacuum as I sucked him.

"Holy hell....baby....oh....uuuugggghhhh.....Bella.....god yes..." he panted.

I sucked all the way back up his cock, pulling off the tip with a popping noise. Then I brought my mouth down to his balls, licking them and sucking each one gently into my mouth while pumping his length with my hand.

"Ooooooohhhhhhh... Shit!......baby... god....ugh!"

He was making no sense at all, and I loved it. I let go of his balls and licked my way back up the underside of his cock before plunging my mouth back down on it again. I bobbed twice while swirling my tongue on him, but the third time I lightly scraped my teeth up his length.

"Oh god Bella...move! move baby! I'm....now!"

I pulled my face away just in time for him to yell out my name as his cum shot out in quick spurts onto his belly. _God that's hot. I wish he'd just let me taste it...smells sooooo good._

I sat up on my knees and grabbed a tissue from the bedside table, wiping him off. He wasted no time in flipping us over when I finished, immediately bringing his mouth down to my breast and laving it with his cold tongue. I felt the nipple hardening under his ministrations, and moaned lightly. He continued to give it attention, alternating between flicking the nipple with his tongue and sucking on it, while his hand massaged the opposite breast.

"Oh god, Carlisle...feels good..."

"MMmmmm, baby...." he replied.

He lifted his mouth and switched to the opposite breast. His second hand made its way down towards my center, barely touching me the whole way, making me shiver and writhe under him.

"Aaaaaaahhhhhh....honey, yeah......"

He continued to pay attention to my breasts while his fingers found their way into my folds, taking the moisture there and spreading it around before bringing two fingers up to tease my clit.

"Uuuuugggghhhh.....Carlisle....so good....more....please, more..."

He lifted his mouth from my breast and brought it up to my ear. "Don't worry baby, I'm not going to stop. You'll get what you want, I promise," he whispered, his voice thick with lust.

"Yeah....oh yeah.....Carlisle....oooohhhhh..."

He licked me then, from the ear he had just whispered in all the way down to my center. He wasted no time there, plunging his tongue into me without warning. I screamed his name in pleasure, fisting my hands in the sheets. He alternated pushing his tongue in with licking up and down the folds, all while circling and teasing my clit with his fingers. I felt the coil in my stomach wind so tightly that I was sure I would literally explode when I came.

"Oh god...Carlisle....ugh.....honey....I....I....aaahhhh....gonna.....ugh....gonna..."

I couldn't make the words come, I was so overwhelmed by the sensations.

"That's right baby, give it to me. Let me have your sweet cum baby."

_God, when he talks like that....that's all it takes!_

I came then, hard, screaming out his name as I did. I could hear him moaning in pleasure as he lapped up all of the moisture before placing one last chaste kiss on my folds. He scooted back up in the bed and wrapped me in his arms. He kissed me on the forehead as I laid my head on his chest, still panting from cumming so hard.

"Sleep now," I mumbled.

"Baby, I told you we had to leave."

"No...sleep," I whined.

"Alright, sweetheart, sleep. I'll put your clothes on you and carry you out to the car. You can sleep all the way to Boston."

I didn't bother asking what was in Boston, I just closed my eyes.

About ninety minutes later, Carlisle was gently kissing me awake in the front seat of the Mercedes. I was a bit surprised to find myself there and dressed, but that's vampires for you. I was wearing basically the same outfit as earlier, but my shirt had changed to a white jersey-style tee with navy sleeves and Boston written in red across the front. I looked at Carlisle to find he was still in his khaki shorts, but now was wearing a long sleeved red tee shirt with the Red Sox logo and a white cap.

I sat up quickly. "You're taking me a Red Sox game?" I asked excitedly.

"Yep! Are you ready?"

"More than! Let's go!"

I briefly thought back to the days when I dreaded watching the Mariners games with Charlie, but as I told Carlisle before, Emmett has a way of making sports enjoyable. And while I'll be the first to agree with Jasper when he says that human baseball is lame compared to the vampire version, I still think it can be exciting if you get into a team, just like Charlie has with the Mariners and Emmett and I have with the Red Sox. I smiled. He really is a good big brother, even if he is a handful.

Two hours later, we had sang 'Take Me Out to the Ball Game' four times, done the wave with the crowd and booed the hundreds of bad calls made against the Sox, not to mention all the bad plays made by the Sox, all from our seats just behind home plate. I had gotten a hot dog and a beer from a vendor, and Carlisle eyed it with much more disgust than he usually has towards human food. Apparently, he had seen a documentary about how hot dogs were made, and no longer had any tolerance for them. I asked him not to tell me, and he agreed, with the condition that I never eat one again. We had a great time at the game, even though the Red Sox lost in a pathetic 5 - 14 finish against Tampa Bay. But, despite the loss, we were together and enjoying ourselves, and that was what mattered.

Carlisle drove us back to Hanover, and we went back to the bedroom together, this time taking our time with each other, sharing our love and our desire in slow, sensual ways. Sure, hot and quick will take care of the immediate urge, and definitely has it's place, but I'd much rather spend hours in bed, pleasing my fiancee as he ravishes me.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed that. Just so you know, there was not supposed to be a lemon in this chapter, but Carlisle got Bella (and me) all hot and bothered at the batting cages, and we just lost all control! **

**Don't forget to vote in the poll on my profile, the last day is Friday, as I'm flying back to the US on the 31st and need to get as far ahead in my writing as possible before leaving if you still want lots of updates (I'll be very busy the first 2 weeks in the US, my husband and I are taking the kids to Disney, gotta get unpacked, etc., won't have much time for writing during that time). So help me out if you don't mind.**

**Next up: The last weekend before graduation. What will they do?**


	32. 29 In Tribute to You, Isabella Swan

**A/N: Stephenie Meyer is not sharing the rights to Twilight with me, or anyone else, anytime soon.**

**SOOOOO very sorry about the late updates, my internet stopped working for no apparent reason as I was uploading the new chapter, work got lost, and couldn't reconnect until now (and I'm tapping into my neighbor's wireless now). I will go to my in-laws in the morning, so you should be back to a normal update schedule. **

**So glad you are all still enjoying the story. I'm enjoying writing it as well, so I suppose it's a win-win situation. =) I noticed in your reviews that you are really enjoying the lemons...Thank Carlisle. It is seriously all his fault. I don't even intend to write them sometimes, but they appear. He's too damn sexy for his own good. What can I say?**

Chapter 29: In Tribute to You, Isabella Swan

CPOV

I asked Bella last week after we returned from the game in Boston if she minded me planning our next Saturday together as well. Not that her plans weren't wonderful, because I had absolutely no complaints about any of them. If anything, the dates that she planned for me were incredible. I truly had fun with her. She made me feel so young, so free, so alive. She has brought about such a change in me in such a short time - it's amazing, because vampires are not very capable of change. This just demonstrates her power over me that much more.

That was why I wanted to plan this weekend's date. It would be out last Saturday together before we left for our wedding in Forks, since her graduation was in two weeks and we would both be busy preparing to for her parents' arrival and our own departure, as well as Bella's final exams, next weekend. I wanted this date to be special. To show her how much I truly loved her and how special she is to me. I spent days planning for today, I only hope that it will be as perfect as I imagined.

I left the bed before Bella awoke this morning to prepare breakfast for her. We needed to get an early start this morning, and I wanted her to be well fed. I made waffles for her and added a bowl of mixed berries to the tray before taking it back to my room. I found her still sleeping, and proceeded to pepper her face with sweet kisses to wake her.

"Wake up, my sweet Bella," I whispered to her as she began to regain consciousness.

She smiled before even opening her eyes, and I felt my heart swell with happiness. I lived to make this woman happy.

"Good morning, sweetheart, I've missed you. Sit up now, I've brought waffles for you."

Waffles have been known to draw my love from her deepest sleep, thus my choice this morning. As predicted, she sat straight up with a big grin on her face, her eyes wide with excitement.

"You made me waffles?"

"I did," I answered, smiling.

"You are the perfect man." _ Not perfect, my dear, but for you I will try._

I brought the tray to her and sat by her side as she ate her fill. She gave me a gentle kiss in thanks when she was finished.

"Now, my dear, we have a big day planned in Boston, and we need to leave in the next hour. I can hear Alice bouncing up and down on your bed upstairs with anticipation for your arrival. I believe she is planning a bit of Bella Barbie preparation for you, so you shouldn't keep her waiting. I'll be down here, ready, when you finish. Alright, my love?"

"Of course, Carlisle," she said, kissing me once more. "I'll be down soon."

I dressed while I waited, choosing a pair of khaki cargo shorts, a black polo shirt, and a pair of black sandals. My wardrobe was just another way Bella had changed me. It now had two halves - the Dr. Cullen side, and the Carlisle side. For the first time in a long time, perhaps ever, I had become more than just the doctor. I was also the man. And it felt good.

Once I had dressed and done my best to tame my hair, I walked out to the main area of the house and sat with the newspaper to wait for Bella. Unfortunately, Alice had her, so I had to wait quite a while. But when she did appear, I found her more than worth the wait. She was beautiful, wearing a knee-length black skirt with large daisies on it, a short-sleeved yellow sweater with a ruffled neck, black sandals, and a few thick black bracelets. Her hair was pulled into a low ponytail and swept over one shoulder. I gazed at her for a moment, thanking god that she was mine.

When I came out of my love-induced stupor, I stood and walked to her, embracing her and kissing her gently.

"You look incredible, my love," I said sincerely, making her blush. _She looks so pretty when she blushes. I will miss that about her when she is changed. "_Come now, let's go out to the car."

An hour later, we arrived in Boston. We began our day at Boston Public Gardens, where I had a very special surprise for Bella - a ride in the Swan boats. These boats have been a tradition in Boston since 1877, and are completely unique. Each boat holds about thirty people, and is paddled along by a crew member. On the back of the boat are two large carved swans. We arrived, and luckily found only a very short line, assuring we would be on the first boat to return to the dock.

As I stood there holding Bella's hand, I looked around at the park, noticing the beauty of spring in full bloom all around us. Suddenly, I heard Bella gasp. I looked back immediately, and saw that the boat was coming in to the dock. Glancing down at Bella, I saw that her eyes were wide and sparkling with delight.

"Swans?" She asked, amusement evident in her voice.

"For you, my love. Swans."

We boarded the boat and enjoyed the fifteen minute journey around the lagoon, my arm around my fiancee the entire time, holding her close to me and I randomly pressed kisses into her hair. From the boat we had an incredible view of the beauty that was the Gardens, although I admittedly paid more attention to the beauty that was my fiancee.

Our next stop was the Isabella Stewart Gardener Museum. It was an incredible place - the building itself is a 15th century Venetian-style palace, and houses over 2500 pieces of art. Outside is a beautiful garden courtyard. In keeping with my purpose of celebrating my love, the museum allows free entrance for anyone named Isabella.

We walked the three floors of galleries, examining each piece. Our favorite pieces were found on the first floor in the yellow room, thus we spent the longest time in there. Bella was very taken with a Matisse painting called _The Terrace, Saint Tropez_, and I made a mental note to purchase at least a print, if not the original, for her some day. Perhaps we would one day visit Saint Tropez as well... It would be a difficult trip to plan, as it is quite a sunny location.

As we walked through the museum, my memories took me back to Scotland, the first time Bella took me to look at art. Strange how it seems so long ago, but actually only five months have passed since. I remembered how I felt that day, how thrilled I was at having confessed my feelings for her, how happy I was just to pass time with her, looking at art with her, seeing the sparkle in her eyes as she saw a piece she liked... I remembered the promise I made to her that day: _"I will take you to see all the art there is to see in the world." _ I loved her already, then, but somehow that love pales in comparison to what I feel for her now. Now, my love for her encompasses my whole being, and I can't stand the thought of ever being parted from her again.

I squeezed her hand gently, causing her to look up. I took the opportunity to press my lips down on hers, kissing her softly and whispering my love.

I took Bella to Limoncello Ristorante, a nearby Italian restaurant, for dinner. The atmosphere was quiet and romantic, and, at least according to Bella, the food was delicious. We spent our time there chatting about some of our favorite pieces from the museum, as well as some of the ones that we did not much like. Just like in Scotland, I was once again pleased that art was something that we could share.

After dinner, we caught a taxi back to the Public Gardens. I went into the parking garage and retrieved a couple of blankets from the trunk, and then we walked into the grassy area and found ourselves a nice spot near the trees. I laid one blanket on the ground and kept the second to cover Bella should she get cold. Though the sky was dark, it had been too overcast for us to see any stars tonight. Instead, I sat up, and pulled Bella close to me so that she was seated between my legs with her back leaning against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and inhaled her sweet freesia and strawberries scent.

"I love you so much, Bella, truly I do. You mean everything to me."

She tilted her head back and pressed her lips to mine, bathing me in her love as she kissed me.

"I love you too, Carlisle, more than I ever thought it possible to love another person. I cannot wait to be your wife."

"Nor can I wait to be your husband, my love. That will be the happiest day in my existence."

I gently stroked her face with one hand while still holding her around the waist with the other, softly kissing her lips the whole time. We had been rather overcome by our mutual lust recently, as Jasper had so kindly pointed out several times this week, but I didn't want that tonight. I, of course, desired her as much as always, but I didn't want this day to end with that. I wanted to show her that my love for her was more than that. Really, I would be happy to kiss her all night and never take it further. When she kissed me, I always thought my heart might explode from happiness.

We laid back on the blanket, holding each other close under the night sky, our lips moulded together, moving in unison. We stayed that way for hours, until Bella was too tired to stay awake any longer. I folded our blankets and carried her back to the car, whispering love and promises of sweet dreams along the way. She was already sleeping when I sat her in the car.

The day had been perfect, just as I had envisioned.

**A/N: Well, I hope you liked Sweet Carlisle. There's been a lot of Sexy Carlisle, lately, and he was worn out. He didn't want Bella to forget his love.**

**Next up: Bella's graduation. There will be a big surprise at the ceremony. You'll never guess what it is.**


	33. 30 Pomp & Circumstance

Chapter 30: Pomp and Circumstance

BPOV

The five weeks after Carlisle's proposal had been a whirlwind. Despite the physical side of our relationship suddenly beginning and becoming a rather overwhelming force between us, a fact that Jasper complained about, but Alice secretly thanked me for, Carlisle and I still always found time for the emotional side as well. We still sat together on the tree swing every night, talking about what our future might hold for us, talking about his day at work or my day at school, really anything. That was our special time, just as it had always been.

Two weeks ago, Carlisle had taken me to Boston for the day, and it was perhaps the most romantic day of my life, not counting the day he asked me to marry him. He had so obviously thought of me in every bit of planning, and never once lost physical contact with me that day. As we lay together in the park under the sky that evening, he told me over and over how much he loved me, and I responded in kind. This man was a miracle in and of himself - the compassionate vampire who found a way to retain his humanity, who saved humans rather than feeding from them, and who loved me and made me happier more than any one person deserved. I was determined to find a way to make him see just how special he was, I just hadn't quite figured it out yet.

Alice and Rosalie took me to New York for last weekend to find my wedding dress, and, as Alice promised, it was perfect. Better than that, even. I had asked both of them to stand with me as bridesmaids at the wedding, and we found them beautiful dresses as well. I had put Alice in charge of planning the wedding, and I could see that she was going to make it perfect for us - my version of perfect. Although we would not be married until the end of July back in Forks, we were all flying back to Washington the day after graduation to prepare the house and get all the wedding details in place. I couldn't wait for our wedding day to come - the day I would become Bella Cullen. That was the day that our lives would truly begin.

Tomorrow was the last step in finishing up my life as Bella Swan. The day I was graduating from Dartmouth College. I had turned in my senior thesis two weeks ago, and finished the last final exams of my career at Dartmouth earlier this week. My parents arrived last night, and I had been thrilled to see them both. Charlie had long since given his support to my relationship with Carlisle, and Renee had finally come around as well. They both seemed genuinely happy for us.

My graduation ceremony was to be held tomorrow afternoon, and the entire family was going out for a fancy dinner afterwards at Charlie's insistence. I tried to get the Cullens out of it, but Carlisle sided with Charlie, so there was nothing I could do.

For the sake of my parents' sanity, I slept in my own room last night instead of with Carlisle. He insisted that even though _we_ knew we weren't doing anything "inappropriate", it would be difficult to convince my parents of that, and he refused to give them any reason to mistrust him and his intentions with me, especially now that we had both of their support. I complained, of course, but I understood, though I hated being away from him.

When I woke up this morning, I found my mother and sisters sitting at the foot of my bed staring at me.

"Can I help you?" I mumbled, not really enjoying seeing any face other than Carlisle's first thing in the morning.

"Bella! It's your graduation day! My baby is graduating from college! I'm so proud!" Renee exclaimed.

"Bella, it's time to get up. We have to get you ready!" Alice chimed.

I looked to Rosalie, hoping for help, but was (unsurprisingly) disappointed. "Come on, sis, you have fingers to be manicured, hair to be done, makeup, clothes...." she said.

"In other words, Bella Barbie time begins now?" I asked.

"Yay!" Alice cheered. "I knew you'd understand!"

I shook my head in disbelief, but got up and allowed them their fun.

An hour before I had to appear for commencement, I was standing in the kitchen ready to go. I was already wearing my black robes, complete with the dark green sash that signified I was graduating magna cum laude. My cap was still in my hand-Alice insisted I leave it off until the last minute so as not to disturb my hair.

Since we were going to the restaurant immediately after the graduation ceremonies were over, Alice already had me dressed for the night. I was wearing an emerald green, knee-length pencil dress with a deep v-neck and empire waist. The dress was covered in emerald green lace that looked like flowers. Alice had paired it with a pair of metallic wedges. It was simple, but stylish and cute. My mom had gushed over how "grown up" I looked when I had come out in it.

I had already been hugged about twenty times by my father, who, despite his general preference for not displaying emotions, had tears in his eyes and couldn't stop repeating how proud he was of his "little girl". I had to admit, it felt pretty great, even if it was odd. Maybe this was Sue's effect on him?

At the ceremony, I sat, with a small case of nerves, waiting for my name to be called. When the president of the college finally reached the English Department, my classmates and I stood as a group and walked to line up on the side of the stage. I was silently chanting "Don't fall down" to myself the entire time, while watching the ground carefully for invisible dangers. I may have outgrown most of my clumsiness in the last few years, but this was not the time to take chances.

I listened to the president as he called the names, getting closer and closer to my own: "Andrea Rogers, American Literature... Matthew Santora, Creative Writing... Ethan Stone, British Literature with Honors... Isabella Swan, Magna Cum Laude, High Honors in British Literature...

I gasped and felt my face flush. I hadn't known until that moment that I had achieved the status of high honors. Tears flooded my eyes as I shook the hand of the dean. As a senior in high school, when Edward suggested Dartmouth, I had believed myself incapable of merely passing my classes, and here I was, graduating with high honors. I cried with pride, but also sadness, because the one who believed in me the most wasn't here to see this.

As I held my diploma in my hand and heard the cheers coming from my family, I kept my eyes watching the path ahead of me. That's when I saw_ them _- Edward, Esme and Jacob. They were standing together at the bottom of the stairs, all wearing matching smiles, the pride evident in their eyes. They looked so real, and I was certain that if I reached out, I would be able to touch them. I stepped off the bottom stair and turned to them, my vision slightly blurred by tears.

"Are you really here?" I whispered.

"Only for you, my Bella," Edward answered.

"We just wanted you to know how proud we are. You've become an amazing woman Bella," said Esme.

"Yeah, Bella, you did good." Jacob said, in his trademark casual tone.

"Thank you, all of you. I miss you so much," I said, still frozen in disbelief.

"We're always with you, love." Edward said, his hand gently ghosting over my cheek. I could barely feel his touch, but I felt the warmth it left behind.

I suddenly thought about that. Warmth? Shouldn't he be cold? Now wasn't the time to ask. I realized that I had been standing in the same spot too long. How long had it been? Seconds? Minutes? Hours? I didn't want to leave, but I knew that I had to move.

"It's okay Bella," Esme said gently, her hand, also warm, touching mine. "Go on, now, my daughter. Take care of him, of all of them."

"I love you, Mom," I whispered as she disappeared.

"Everything's alright, Bells. Things happened like they should. What I wanted for you wasn't big enough." Jacob said.

"Thank you, Jacob. For everything," I gave Jake a smile as he faded.

Finally, I turned back to Edward. "I'll always love you," I said.

"I know, love. As I will you. Now go. Be happy."

With one last crooked grin and brush of my cheek, he was gone.

I was supposed to go back to my original seat, but I couldn't. I was having a hard time getting one foot to move in front of the other, and I could barely see now, my vision obscured as it was by tears. Suddenly, I felt a cool touch on my back, an arm wrapping around me. I looked up and found myself staring into Carlisle's beautiful golden eyes.

"What's wrong, sweetheart? Tell me, please," he pleaded.

"They were here, Carlisle. I saw them," I whispered, barely audible even for vampire hearing.

"Who, Bella? Please tell me! I promise, I won't let anyone hurt you, don't be afraid."

I could see that he was terrified, and needed to reassure him. "No, Carlisle, it's okay. I'm not scared, just shocked. It was Edward and Esme and Jacob. They were waiting at the bottom of the stairs. They talked to me, Carlisle. They came to tell me they were proud of me."

He held me close, hugging me as tightly as he dared. We were standing off to the side of the student chairs.

"I believe you." He whispered.

"You do?" I asked, looking up at him, surprised.

"Yes, of course I do. I would always believe in you. But I have no reason to doubt, because I've heard Esme myself, when I went back to Forks while you were in Scotland."

I looked at him incredulously. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Honestly? Because I wasn't sure. I thought I had imagined it, until now." His eyes grew wide and his mouth opened a little, making the perfect expression of wonder. "This is amazing."

"It is, I know. Edward said they're always with us, and he wants me to be happy. Esme told me she was so proud of me, and to take care of you and the others."

"Esme was the same with me. I went to Forks in search of a way to let go, and reassurance that it was okay for me to love you. She told me to let myself be happy. They want us together, sweetheart. They're happy about it."

He reached up with his hand and stroked my face, still holding me tightly with the other arm. His fingers traced the same line that Edward's had, and I felt the spark of electricity flow through me.

"All that time we wasted being afraid..." he said, shaking his head. "I could have been happy with you."

"No, Carlisle, don't think that way. It was fate for us to be together, it happened as it was supposed to. We needed the time to handle our heartbreak, so we could start together without it. I regret nothing, Carlisle. I have you now, and that's all that matters."

He brought his lips to mine, a long, passionate kiss, ensuring that I understood that he felt the same way. "I love you, Isabella Swan. More than anything in the world, I love you," he said as he pulled away.

"They aren't the only ones who are proud of you, you know," he added. "You did what you never believed you could do, you achieved so much, sweetheart. I am immensely proud of you. I love you, Bella, for eternity."


	34. 31 Graduation Dinner

**A/N: I do not own the Twilight series, just the paperback copies of it, all of which are as well read as Bella's copy of Wuthering Heights.**

**Sorry (not really) for making you all cry last chapter. So glad it got a good response!**

**This is part 2 of graduation day. Enjoy! Check my profile for links to see the girls' dresses as well as the restaurant. It's a pretty cool place.**

Chapter 31: The Graduation Dinner

BPOV

Just under two hours after the ceremony, I arrived at Simon Pearce with my parents and Carlisle. My siblings came about fifteen minutes after us. While not limited in their speed by the presence of Chief Swan in their car, they had made a stop by home for my sisters to change into their dinner clothes. The hostess led us to our table and gave us the menus, also informing us that she'd be back with our champagne (Carlisle had pre-ordered the bottle) in a moment.

While we waited for my siblings, my parents gushed about how impressed they were with the restaurant, and how proud they were of my accomplishments. I spent a good portion of this conversation blushing, of course. Then I noticed my mom looking just past me with a grin. I turned to see what she was looking at, and saw my siblings walk into the restaurant. Renee had gotten very friendly with my sisters, especially Alice, who had been talking with her non-stop about wedding plans. It made me so happy that, at least for now, I could have both my families together.

As they walked through the restaurant, many heads turned to notice them. The four of them looked to be the cover shoot for a fashion magazine approaching. Alice came first, wearing a fitted, white minidress with a navy zebra print and belt. She was followed by Jasper, in a navy button down shirt and grey trousers. Rosalie was next, a knockout as usual, wearing a knee-length red faux-wrap dress with thick straps. Emmett was last, wearing a red button down shirt and black pants. They all looked like they belonged on a catwalk instead of a restaurant in Vermont. Carlisle fit right in with them, of course, in his black pants, white button down and emerald and white striped tie. I almost felt sorry for my parents, who, despite being dressed by Alice, still seemed slightly intimidated by all the beauty at the table with them. I understood, though... It's something that takes a lot of getting used to.

Dinner was absolutely delicious. I divided my time between eating and trying my hardest not to draw attention to Carlisle and my siblings slipping bites of food into the tiny ziploc bags I had provided for them. Every once in a while they were forced to actually take a bite, so that my parents wouldn't notice the ruse, and whenever they did, it took every ounce of self-control for me not to laugh at their grimaces. I felt sorry for them, really, because I knew they would have to regurgitate those bites after dinner, which would surely be unpleasant. But it was still rather humorous, after all, they were here at their own insistence, not mine. Alice tried to suggest a cake for desert, but I was quick to talk her out of it, and we ordered the Blue Moon sorbet instead, which was much easier to hide, and quite delightful for those of us who enjoy human food.

After all our plates had been cleared, Alice started bouncing in her chair.

"It's time for presents Bella!" She cried.

"Alice, I told you I didn't want presents!"

"Bella, this is no time to argue. I know you didn't want anything, but we all decided that this was too important an occasion to ignore. We all got you something very small to commemorate your first college experience."

"First?" Charlie asked.

"Well, sure, Chief Swan. She might decide to go on to graduate school," Jasper covered. _Nice save, big brother._

"Ok, ok," I appeased.

"Great! I'll go first," said Alice, enthusiastically. She pulled a small black box with a pink bow on it from her purse and handed it to me. "I instructed everyone not to wrap the gifts so that we wouldn't have a big mess of paper," she explained with a wink.

I opened the box and found a small silver replica of Big Ben inside.

"This is a charm for your charm bracelet, Bells," Alice said. "Since you and I spent two terms studying in Scotland and England, I decided that your charm should reflect that trip. It was, after all, one of the highlights of your time at Dartmouth, and one of the best times of my life, being able to spend all that time with my sister," she said, rising from her chair to hug me.

Carlisle handed me his box next. Inside I found the charm was a silhouetted couple dancing.

"This charm, Bella, I chose because of the many times that you and I danced together while you were in college. We had the New Year's ball, the end of term dance in Scotland, Club Electra when you returned home, and our Sinatra picnic. These were some of _my_ favorite moments during your three years at Dartmouth, and I'm so thrilled to know that we have an eternity of dances still ahead of us." He looked at me lovingly as he spoke.

Renee handed me her box next, and it contained a small book charm.

"Bella, you have always loved to read, and so I was not surprised at all to hear that you chose to study literature in college. I think it's wonderful that you were able to explore so many books and authors and poets that you never had before during these years, and that's why I chose this charm for you."

Charlie was next. In his box was a silver graduation cap.

"Bells, you have made me so proud in graduating from Dartmouth, especially the way you did it. You finished early, graduating with high honors, near the top of your class. You've always been a bright girl, but this has surely given me bragging rights in Forks for the rest of my life. I couldn't be any more proud of you for this." I was surprised to once again see my dad's eyes glistening with unshed tears. It touched my heart to see this man so emotional, and a few tears fell from my eyes as well.

Emmett handed me the next box, and I laughed when I opened it, finding a charm of two crossed cocktail glasses.

"Little sis, you have always been the most fun to have around of anyone I ever met. You make me laugh almost everyday. But of all the time we were here at Dartmouth, the funniest you've ever been was the night you turned twenty-one and we took you out for drinks. The great thing about having a good memory is that I'll never forget all the stories you told us that night, or the bright red blush on your face when Rose ordered you a screaming orgasm. Definitely my favorite night at Dartmouth!" Emmett laughed his usual loud belly laugh and several people turned to stare. I noticed Charlie was a little pale.

"It's a cocktail, Dad, just a name of a drink," I soothed. He seemed relieved.

The next box was from Rosalie. It held a silver disc, with the word "sisters" engraved on one side and "friends" on the other.

"Bella, you and I never got along all that well when we lived in Forks. Unfortunately, it took a horrible, life-changing event to make me get over my own issues and give you a chance. While I wish that event hadn't happened, I can't say that the results haven't been wonderful. Getting to know you, and having you really become my sister and my friend has been amazing. I can honestly say now that I'm glad you're part of our lives, of my life. I love you, sister."

I had tears freely flowing by the time she finished. That was surely the sweetest thing Rose had ever said to me.

"I love you too Rose," I whispered through my tears. She got up and we hugged each other tightly.

The last gift was from Jasper. He gave me a motorcycle helmet charm. I blushed immediately, thoughts of my most recently ride filling my head, and I quickly earned a raised eyebrow from Jasper and a laugh hidden by a cough from both Carlisle and Alice.

"Bells, I chose this one because you and I have had so much fun together out of our Ducatis. Back in Forks, we always had a hard time getting close to each other, but after all that happened since then, I don't just think of you as a little sister, but you really became my friend too. Getting you back on your bike was a sign that you were able to move on from the past and enjoy things that you used to, and that meant a lot to both of us, I think. Chief Swan, I know you don't like motorcycles that much, but I promise I make her take safety precautions and wear her helmet always. She's pretty amazing out there on the bike."

Charlie was still not convinced, and had been making a rather unpleasant face since I opened the charm. He didn't reply.

"Thank you, all of you. You did such a great job picking these charms, and they are all really special to me. I can't wait to add them to my bracelet when I get home.

This day was a long time coming, and I'm so glad we could celebrate it together. I want to thank you for all you've done to help me get to this point. Honestly, I could never have made it this far without you behind me. I love all of you very much."

"Ok, enough of the mushy stuff," Emmett declared, trying to lighten the mood and get me to stop crying.

"I think the man has the right idea," agreed Charlie. "It's getting pretty late, and I know we all have planes to catch tomorrow, so we'd better get back home. Thank you again, Carlisle, for dinner."

"It was my pleasure," Carlisle answered, before helping me out of my seat. He leaned over and kissed me gently before whispering in my ear. "Congratulations again, my beautiful fiancee. While I'd love to take you dancing again, I think I speak for all vampires present when I say we need to go home and take care of dinner."

I shuddered, understanding his meaning, and allowed him to lead me out the door. Holding his hand on the way home, I thought about everything that had happened on this day, and about just how amazing my family was. I never imagined I'd say this, but I'm a very lucky girl.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed that. Once again, I loved Charlie in this chapter, the way he kept oscillating between emotional and overprotective.**

**Next up: the gang heads back to Forks and the countdown to the wedding begins!!!**


	35. 32 Conversations

**A/N: I still don't own Twilight's intellectual property. **

**This and the next few chapters are going to be the countdown to the big day for Carlisle and Bella. I hope you'll enjoy and that you're getting as excited as our characters for their wedding day!**

Chapter 32: Conversations (5 weeks to go)

CPOV

The day after Bella's graduation from Dartmouth, my family, Charlie, Bella and I flew together to Forks. We had decided it was the best place to have the wedding, as most of our guests lived there already. I had left my job at Dartmouth-Hitchcock Hospital beginning the day before graduation, since we would be in Forks for six weeks, leaving immediately from there for our honeymoon. We still had five weeks before the wedding, but there were many preparations to be made in that time. Luckily for Bella, Alice was in charge, and little was needed from the two of us besides approvals and fittings. I must say, I was extremely excited for our wedding day, and hoped the time would pass quickly.

Our arrival in Washington was immediately followed by a trip to the furniture store in Port Angeles. Bella and I, the last time we lived in the Forks house, shared beds with Edward and Esme, thus we had decided to buy a new bed for the two of us to share. Though neither of us felt any jealousy regarding the past relationships, we had agreed it was best to start fresh, especially when it came to the bed in which we would be intimate with each other. We chose a beautiful cherry four poster bed that looked like it was fit for royalty. As we had other errands to attend to, we asked Emmett and Jasper to set it up for us back at the house while we were out.

Once that was arranged, I took Bella to visit Pastor Weber, the father of her friend Angela, so that we could ask him to preform our ceremony. The appointment went well. He remembered both of us, and we had a short interview during which he reminded us of the importance and sacredness of marriage and asked us if there were any specific requests we had for the ceremony. Our only request was that we wanted to write our own vows rather than use the official ones, which he found perfectly acceptable.

We also made a stop in La Push, where we needed to inform Sam and the pack that we were in town. While there is no longer tension between my family and the pack, we felt it would not be beneficial to let them discover vampire scents in the area without knowledge of our presence. Sam did in fact appreciate our gesture, and asked me for a private meeting between the two of us in the coming days.

Our final destination was Charlie's house, where we would be meeting for dinner with him and Sue. I had offered to take them out for dinner, but apparently Charlie wanted Bella to see what a good cook Sue was, so we stayed in. Sue was very gracious when I met her, congratulating me on my engagement to Bella and offering her continued condolences on the loss of Edward and Esme, as I offered the same for the loss of her daughter Leah. I was pleased to see that she was as kind as Charlie had described.

Charlie, in fact, seemed like a changed man from the one I had known several years ago when we met. I had noticed this change occurring slowly the last two years, but it wasn't until I saw him with Sue that I made the connection. Whereas Charlie Swan had once been a very emotionally closed, hardened sort of man, I could see that he was now very happy and friendly and even talkative. Bella explained to me later that this was most likely due to him finally getting over Renee and moving on with his life instead of dwelling in heartbreak. I could easily understand that, and it brought to me a feeling of kinship with the man who was soon to be my father in law.

After we finished dinner, of which I was thankfully only required to take a few bites that I was able to spit into my napkin without swallowing, Charlie invited me to sit with him in the living room while Sue and Bella cleared up the dishes. We sat for a moment, not having much small talk to make seeing as how we had spent the last three days together already, when Charlie began to speak.

"Carlisle, there's something I want to say to you."

"Alright, Charlie, go ahead," I said with a bit of nervousness.

"You are a good man, Carlisle. I saw that in you six years ago when you first came to this town, and I've seen it in you all along. You've always been polite and respectful to everyone you meet, which isn't something that everyone does these days. You raised those kids to be the same way, and that reflects well on you too. I know you are honest and trustworthy, because you came to me first when you wanted to be with my little girl. You know what matters in life.

I just want you to know that I know all that about you. I also know that you are something special. There aren't many men like you in these times, and I'm real happy that my daughter was lucky enough to find you. I know you'll treat her right and take care of her like she deserves, and so I'm not afraid to give her up to you.

I guess what I'm trying to say, Carlisle, is that, no matter what anything anyone else might say or think about it, I'm glad that you're going to be my son-in-law."

It was probably the most I'd ever heard Charlie say at once, and I was floored by his words. I had great respect for Charlie, and was very pleased to know he held me in such high esteem.

"Charlie, thank you. That means so much coming from a man such as yourself. I feel very blessed to be only five weeks away from joining your family."

He reached across the couch, then, and shook my hand, not seeming to notice the coldness.

A few moments later, the ladies joined us in the room, and I noticed that Charlie reached out to Sue and tugged her hand so that she sat right next to him.

"Come here, Susie Q, I want you to sit by me," he said, just loudly enough that I could hear him. I smiled inwardly. Charlie really had changed for the better.

We all sat together chatting, then Bella and I said our good-byes about thirty minutes later. It had been a long day and we needed to take some time to unpack and relax before we went to bed.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When we returned to the house, we expected that the kids had gotten our bedroom set up and the house was once again livable. What we had not expected was what we found when we walked into the bedroom. They had not only set up the bed, but completely redecorated the room as well. The walls had been painted a light shade of brown, perhaps comparable to bamboo. The bed was set in the center of the far wall, and Alice had purchased new bedding to dress it - a celery-colored silk comforter topped creamy sheets with brown and celery stripes. There were several small pillows set on top of the blankets, one striped and two floral, with the same colors. Next to the bed were two night tables that were the same design as the bed itself, and each was topped with a lamp covered with a cream-colored linen shade. Two dressers lined the opposite wall, one high and one low with a vanity mirror and a stool. The higher dresser was topped with a vase of cream roses and several photographs displayed in linen frames. On the side of the room opposite the closet and bathroom doors was a brown leather couch and armchair with a table between that held a lamp like the ones next to the bed. On the floor in front of the couch was a shag rug in a slightly darker shade of green as that of the bedding. It was absolutely beautiful.

Bella and I stood in the doorway for a full minute, taking in the sight before us, before walking in to explore it further. Once we had, we went back to the living room to offer our thanks to the others for all their thoughtfulness and hard work.

"Don't worry about it, Carlisle. We just wanted the two of you to finally have a space that was _yours_," Alice explained. The others nodded in agreement before announcing their intentions to go for a quick hunt.

Bella asked me if I'd like to join them in hunting.

"No, sweetheart, I would much prefer to join you in our new bed," I whispered suggestively, before picking her up and carrying her bridal-style at a run into our room for the night.

I laid her down on our bed, and a thrill went through me to say those words - _our bed_ - even if only in my head. I lay next to her, caressing her face as I kissed her gently, slowly deepening the kiss and making it more sensual. Tonight I wouldn't rush. Tonight I would love her slowly and passionately.

I unbuttoned her shirt as we kissed and slowly slid it off her shoulders, pushing it down her arms. Once it was removed, I let my hands run up and down her back, reveling in the feel of her soft skin under my fingers. She brought her hands out of my hair, down over my shoulders, to my chest, sliding them over my torso and up under my shirt. I shivered as I felt her hands skim over the flesh of my abdomen and pectoral muscles, slowly pushing my polo shirt up as she went. I broke our kiss to allow her to pull the shirt over my head, but returned my mouth to hers as soon as the fabric was removed, softly brushing her bottom lip with my tongue, begging for entrance to her mouth. She granted it, my tongue found hers, and they danced together, neither trying to dominate each other.

I brought my hands to her back to unhook her bra, pulling it off of her and dropping it to the side. Knowing she needed air, I pulled my mouth from hers and brought it down on her shoulder, kissing and lightly nipping along it and up the side of her neck before returning to her mouth. As much as I wanted to kiss her everywhere, I couldn't keep my lips from hers for long tonight. I used my hands on her back to press her body against me, and feeling her breasts against my chest, I sighed.

"I love you, sweet Bella, I love you," I whispered into her mouth.

"As I love you, Carlisle, forever," she replied, never taking her lips from mine.

Both of us were caressing each other's back and chest and face, showering each other in love and adoration. Bit by bit, she let her hand glide back down my chest until she reached the button of my pants, which she opened easily, sliding the zipper down when she finished. She brought her second hand down as well, and used both to remove my pants and boxer briefs at once. She took a moment to look at me appreciatively before sighing and bringing her mouth back to mine, this time slipping her tongue into my mouth to explore it fully.

It thrilled me to no end that she loved my body and found so much pleasure in the simple act of looking at it. I certainly felt the same way about hers - I could only imagine how this woman, a goddess as a mortal, would look once changed. Surely she would be the most beautiful creature ever to walk the earth.

Needing to be closer to her still, I reached down to her hips and tugged down her capri pants and panties, leaving her bare to me. I wanted so much to make love to her now, but knew I must not. We had only five weeks before we were husband and wife, and I could wait until then. For now I simply caressed her body, softly tracing the lines of her hips and breasts with my hands.

She brought her hand down, then, and wrapped it around my length, surrounding me in warmth. I purred at the sensation, my eyes rolling back in my head. She pumped her fist up and down my member slowly, drawing my moans out one by one. I didn't want to feel this without her, so I slipped two fingers into her folds, drawing out the moisture that had pooled there and spread it around her sex, paying attention to her clit before entering her hot core. The two of us laid there, in our new bed, side by side, our mouths still joined in passionate kisses, our hands pleasuring each other, breathing each other's names in between soft moans.

I felt myself approaching my climax, but was determined not to finish without her. I twisted my hand just a bit to allow my thumb to reach up and tease her clit while my two fingers continued to pump inside of her, curling just a bit at the tips in order to reach her most sensitive spot. Her breath became more ragged, her moans louder and more frequent, her hand pumping me much faster and holding me tighter, her tongue becoming more frantic in its dance with mine. It only took a few more seconds for us to come crashing over the edge together, crying out each other's names as we did.

I ran to the bathroom for a wet cloth and returned to the bed to wipe us off. Setting it on the table next to the bed, I turned back to Bella, kissing her once more as I wrapped my arms around her and let her lay her head on my chest, her breathing becoming slower and more regular already.

"I love you, Carlisle," she whispered as she slipped into sleep.

"I will love you for eternity, sweetheart," I replied, kissing the top of her head and squeezing her just a bit tighter.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, we entered the living room to find Emmett and Jasper battling it out in a game of Halo while Rosalie and Alice were pouring over a pink notebook that I knew to be Alice's wedding bible. I left Bella with them so that I could go out to the woods for privacy while I made a very important phone call.

"Ciao?" the voice answered.

"Hello Aro, this is Carlisle Cullen calling. How are you?"

"Oh, hello Carlisle. I am well, grazie. How are you and your family?"

"We are all well. Thank you. I am actually calling to ask you for a favor, old friend."

"Si? And what favor is that?"

"I am getting married in five weeks."

"I assume your wife to be is the beautiful young Bella?"

"You assume correctly, Aro," I replied, unable to stop myself from grinning. "As you know from your last visit, we planned to make her change after her graduation, which occurred a few days ago. I would, however, like to take my wife on our honeymoon _before_ she is a wild, blood-crazed newborn."

"Of course, Carlisle, that is of course acceptable."

"Well, that wasn't the entire request. You see, Bella chose to accelerate her graduation from Dartmouth, and the rest of my children will not graduate until this coming June."

"Ah, I see your wife is not only beautiful, but also quite intelligent. You are a lucky man, old friend."

"I agree. She has many other fine qualities as well, one of them being her selflessness. Bella does not want to deprive her siblings of the opportunity to finish their degrees, but you and I both know that I alone could not handle a newborn Bella. I would like to delay her change until next June, so that I can relocate with all of my family and they can assist me with Bella during her newborn stage. I can guarantee you, Aro, that the change will occur by the end of next summer with no further delay. This is not a request I will make again. Bella is quite adamant on being changed before her twenty-fourth birthday, which will be next September, and she is not a woman to be refused, especially not by myself. So, is this acceptable, old friend?"

"Dear Carlisle, I have no complaints myself, though I do not deny my anxiousness to see what your Bella is like in immortality. I am able to be patient another year, though. However I fear that my brother Caius will not be so agreeable. I will not make known to him any knowledge I have regarding this issue with your family, but I would prefer this not to become an issue if I am to give my word of protection to you. I'd like to ask Marcus if he will support me. If he does, then your request shall be granted. Please, wait for a moment while I confer with him."

While I waited for Aro to return to the line, I contemplated the possibilities. If he were to give permission, Bella and I could spend her last year human traveling and enjoying all the places that she from which will be prevented from going until her control is strong. I thought of all of the places she might like to see... perhaps France - she would love the Louvre...

"Carlisle?"

"Yes, Aro, I am still here."

"Good. Marcus has agreed to your request as well, and we have only one condition. We need to know the location where you plan to move for the change, and we would like to schedule a visit to see a vampire Bella in the fall."

"That is acceptable, I am very grateful to you, Aro. Please extend my gratitude to your brother as well. We will be living on our estate in British Columbia, Canada. You can call me in the fall to schedule your visit, we have plenty of room available in that house for guests."

"Fantastico! I do so look forward to seeing how your Bella adjusts to the change."

"Thank you, Aro."

"Ciao, Carlisle."

"Good-bye."

I hung up, elated with my success, and went back inside to my family. I found Bella on the couch, and ran to her, picking her up and swinging her in a full circle in my arms, laughing joyously.

"Oh my dear Bella, soon you will be my wife, and our lives with be perfect."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The week was going so well already, and each day that passed brought me one step closer to my wedding day. On our third day in Forks, I went to La Push for my meeting with Sam.

"Thank you for meeting with me, Carlisle," he said as I shook the alpha's hand.

"It's no problem, Sam. I have something that I need to discuss as well."

"Alright. Would you like to begin then?"

"Thank you. I wanted to talk to you about Bella. I'm sure you know that she has asked to become a vampire. This was supposed to happen years ago after her wedding with Edward, but we postponed it so that she'd have a chance to finish college." I saw his grimace, even as he tried to hide it. "I know that this is not something that you really approve of, and I understand your reasoning. However, there is another matter which makes the change necessary. The Volturi, which are like the royal family for our kind, have laws which must be followed. No human must know of our existence. If they do, they must die or be changed. Bella exposed herself to them when she saved Edward in Italy, and she was released by them with the promise that she would become a vampire. If they come to verify, which they will, and find her human, they will kill her, as well as the rest of my family, without question. So you see, we really have no option."

I must give credit to Sam, he had let me speak and had remained calm through it, despite the fact that he must have strong feelings on the subject.

"Carlisle, I understand your situation. I also know of Bella's feelings on the matter - she made it clear to us a long time ago. What is it you need from me?"

"Well Sam, I know that if we bite Bella, it nullifies the treaty between your people and my family. I will do it anyway, because it is the only way to protect her, as well as the rest of us. However, I would prefer to do it with your permission, so that peace remains between us and we are able to visit the area in the future."

"Carlisle, there is no problem between us. If you were to bite an unwilling person or kill a human, we would have to take action because it is our duty to do so. But we know that this situation is different. You have my permission, as chief of my people and alpha of the pack, to change Bella. All I ask is that you keep her away from the area until she is fully under control. It would cause all of us great pain to act against her, and I know it would cause her as much pain to hurt a human. Please, Carlisle, protect her from that kind of pain."

"I will, Sam. I will do everything I can to prevent Bella from every feeling pain again after her change... That in itself ]will be painful enough." I shuddered at the memory. "Thank you, Sam."

"You're welcome. Now I must give you my news. I'm sure you are aware that I imprinted several years ago. My Emily is now two years older than me, as I haven't aged since becoming a werewolf. We are expecting our first child in a few months. I have made the decision to step down as alpha, and to stop phasing, so that I can grow old with my family. I will begin in one month. I have chosen Quil to take over in my place, as he is the next in line according to birthright, and he also has the longest time before his imprint is of an age that will lead him to make a similar choice. Quil has as much respect for you and your family as I do, and will stand by my decision, I promise you."

"I'm very happy for you Sam. You have shown great integrity as a leader, the pack and your entire tribe have been lucky to have you. I wish you a long and happy future with your family." I reached out to shake his hand, and then patted him on the back. "You are a good man, Sam."

"As are you, Carlisle," he replied, returning my handshake firmly.

Later that night I lay in our bed with Bella, feeling free. For the first time in years I felt like I had no reason to worry. In just over a month, the woman I was now holding would be my wife. I closed my eyes and breathed a small sigh. I couldn't dream, but my mind allowed for daydreams. So I imagined my Bella, my beautiful wife, and how she would look on our wedding night... How it would feel to have our bodies pressed up against each other, skin to skin, hot to cold... How she would taste as I ran my lips and tongue over every surface of her body... How it would feel to have her heat wrapped around me in the most intimate of ways...

I had to stop. This daydream was quickly leading me to a place where a cold shower was necessary... And unfortunately, water temperature has no effect on vampires. I considered waking her, but there were only two hours until morning, surely I could wait that long. I looked down at my fiancee again, and noticed the slight swell of her breast was now showing over the neckline of her tank top. My god, how I wanted this woman!

I spent much of the rest of the night chanting three words to myself over and over: five more weeks.


	36. 33 What I Want

**A/N: All hail Stephenie Meyer and her creative genius - she made them, I just play with them.**

Chapter 33: What I Want

4 Weeks until the wedding

BPOV

We went to the baseball clearing this morning to remember our loved ones with the pack. I noticed that several of the pack members had stopped phasing and begun to age again, probably because they have found their imprints. Carlisle told me that Sam was stepping down as alpha so that he could do the same. It surprised me, though it really shouldn't. I of all people should understood not wanting to age while your love does not, or, in the case of the wolves, the reverse. Phasing or not, the entire pack from four years ago was present with us, as well as Billy and Sue. We brought flowers and the Quiluetes brought a new braided rope to wrap around the memorial rock. Every year it was the same gifts, the same feelings. Even now, four years later, we mourned our losses as much as the day they occurred. We may have continued to live, we may have even been blessed enough to find love, but we would never forget what we lost.

Once our time in the clearing was finished, my family turned to run back to our house. Carlisle asked them to go on ahead, because the two of us needed to make a stop. I hopped up onto his back and he ran to the meadow. He let me down gently, and then pulled me close to his chest, holding me against him.

"Sweetheart," he said. "It was in this place that you first saw Edward for what he was, and accepted him. Accepted all of us, really. This place holds so many beautiful memories for you. It was in this meadow that we spread the ashes of our loves, and that we remember them. Not to sound cliche, but I believe there is some magic in this place."

"I've always thought so," I replied.

"There's something I want to give you, and I thought this was the most appropriate place to do so." He gently turned me so that I was facing him, and then reached into his pocket, pulling out a small heart-shaped platinum charm with two diamonds set in it. "Bella, do you remember after the battle, when Alice told us that she had sent some of the ashes to be made into diamonds?"

"Yes, I remember."

"These are those diamonds, yours and mine. Esme and Edward helped us become who we are today with their love. You know as well as I do that the love you and I share is immense, but we also know that the two of them will always be part of us. That's what this charm is for. I wanted you to have a bit of them to add to your bracelet. Look at the back."

I turned it over, and with tears in my eyes, read the words. "Forever in our hearts... It's perfect, Carlisle. Thank you." I cupped his cold cheek in my hand and gently brought my lips to his.

We walked hand in hand to the tree with their marker and stood in front of it. Carlisle stood silently for a moment, then leaned forward and kissed Esme's name, whispering goodbye. Then he turned and stepped back to the center of the meadow. As he waited, I traced my fingers over the letters on the plaque while whispering my thanks to Edward for loving me enough to let me love again. Then I turned toward Carlisle, smiling, and he gave me a questioning look.

"It's nothing, honey. I just smiled, because I know that, despite everything, all of us are happy, and everything is going to be okay."

He hugged me close. "It will be much better than okay, my love."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Come on, Alice! How many fittings do you have to do? My size isn't changing!"

Once again, Alice was demanding that I go with her to the tailor to have my dress fit. This was the third time in as many weeks, and I didn't see the point anymore. I saw her eyeing me each time I ate, trying to discover whether my body might have changed in any noticeable amount, and watched as she increased or decreased my portions at meals as she saw fit. Yes, wedding planner pixie could be a scary thing. However, she had made my life easier in most ways. I had put her in charge of the wedding, and she had done all the leg work, bringing me only her top three choices for everything to make final decisions. I really did appreciate her effort, so I tried to be as pleasant as possible about all the chores she came up with for me.

"Come on, Bella, you know you want to see your pretty dress again..." Rosalie teased.

The funny thing was, she was right. For as much as I complained, every time I saw myself in that dress, I felt a fresh excitement and joy. I was one day closer to being Mrs. Carlisle Cullen. I remember how reluctant I was when Edward wanted us to get married, and it's so different this time. I don't think that's a reflection on the love, though, but simply because I'm older now, more mature, and I feel ready to be married. With Edward, I was marrying him because it was what he wanted, and it was basically a bargaining chip to get what I wanted. Mind you, I did want to be with him forever, marriage or not. I simply preferred the not. But with Carlisle, it's not like that at all. I _want_ to be Carlisle's wife, and I want him to be my husband. In fact, I can't think of anything I want more. The next four weeks can't possibly pass fast enough.

Not surprisingly, the dress fit perfectly and needed no adjustments. The dress itself really was amazing and suited me well. Alice and Rose fawned over me while I wore it, and it took awhile for me to convince them to let me change back into my regular clothes so we could go home.

On the way back to Forks, Alice and Rose were going over their list of things that had to be done for the wedding. When I first agreed to let Alice plan the wedding, I thought that Rosalie might temper her enthusiasm a bit. I was wrong. So wrong. I should have known, seeing as how Rose has married Emmett at least twenty times already, that she would be a supporter of a big production. Luckily for me they both loved me enough to care what I wanted. At the moment, however, I was sitting ignored in the backseat while they were in full wedding planning mode.

"Have you ordered the arbor? What about the flowers-did you remember the bouquets _and_ the decorations?"

"Yes, done and done. Did you talk to the caterer yet?"

This one made me laugh. It's probably the first vampire wedding in history that needed a caterer. Or at least the first one where the "meal" was not served alive. Cringe.

"Yes, I ordered the food already. I ordered a dinner for everyone, as I figured the pack will eat all the vampire portions with no problem, so we should have the right amount without wasting any."

"Good thinking Alice. I talked to the bakery this morning, so the cake is all set. It will be delivered the morning of the wedding."

"Invitations are already sent out as well. I think we've got everything under control Rosie!"

"Alice, I think you are forgetting something," I reminded.

I saw the panic in her eyes. "What Bella??"

I laughed. "You forgot that you still have four weeks left." She stuck her tongue out at me and I winked. "Love ya, sis."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next afternoon, Carlisle and I decided to go into town to get some groceries. For some reason, even knowing how my own mother had reacted at first to Carlisle and my relationship, I wasn't nervous about going out in front of people with him. Maybe because I knew that we'd only be here a short time anyways, or maybe because I had reached a level of maturity that I knew it didn't matter what they thought, since none of them knew the truth. I knew I loved Carlisle, whatever anyone else wanted to think, well, they were welcome to it.

As we walked through the aisles, we came upon the cereal section. I was pondering which box I wanted when I saw Jessica Stanley walking towards up, her stomach rounded with pregnancy. She smiled when she saw me, but looked a bit confused as well.

"Bella?" she asked. "Dr. Cullen?"

"Hi Jessica," we both responded politely. "How are you?" I asked.

"I'm great, thanks," she began. She brought her hand down to her abdomen and smiled up at me. "Mike and I are expecting our first in three months."

"Mike Newton?" I asked, shocked. The last I heard they had broken up. But then again, they always were on again off again, and I never was one to keep up with gossip.

"Yeah. We got married two years ago."

"Wow, congratulations. That's great."

"So what are you doing here? Did you come to visit your dad?"

"Not exactly. I just graduated from Dartmouth two weeks ago, and while I will see my dad, I'm actually back for my wedding."

"Wedding?"

I looked up at Carlisle, smiling, and hugged him close to me.

"Yes, Jessica, Bella has agreed to marry me. Our wedding is in a month," Carlisle replied, his face full of joy.

I saw the look of shock on her face and nearly laughed. I expected it, so it didn't upset me.

Her eyes still wide, she found the presence of mind to speak. "Wow, talk about a surprise. Um, congratulations."

We chatted with her for a minute before letting her get on with her shopping. As she walked away, I noticed a wistful look on Carlisle's face.

"What is it honey?" I asked, concerned.

"Nothing sweetheart," he replied. But I knew it wasn't nothing.

"Don't tell me that you're wishing you could have married Jessica Stanley instead of me?" I teased.

"No, Bella, of course not."

"Then what, Carlisle? You know you can tell me anything." I brought my hand up to his face, concern still showing in my eyes.

He sighed deeply. "I just wish I could give you that."

"Give me what?"

"A baby," he whispered.

"Oh, Carlisle, honey, don't. I've never wished for a baby in my life. And I've known for sure ever since I met Edward that my future wouldn't include babies. That's okay with me. The only reason I have to wish that it was different is that I know how happy it would make you to have a child. I would do anything to be able to give you that happiness," I said sincerely. While I couldn't deny that the simple idea of creating a life with Carlisle was a happy one, I knew I didn't need it. He would always be enough for me.

He leaned down and kissed me gently.

"My love, you are all I will ever need to be happy."

"And you are all I will ever want."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A couple of days later, Carlisle and I drove to Port Angeles to visit the bookstore and pick up a few other things at my sibling's request. We had a nice time shopping together, and we were on our way back to the car when we met up with another acquaintance from my past. I groaned inwardly as I saw Lauren Mallory, the biggest snob from Forks High, approaching us, but put a smile on my face, determined to be polite.

"Bella Swan?" She asked with her trademark attitude.

"Yes, hello Lauren. How are you?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Oh, Carlisle and I were just out doing some shopping."

For the first time, she looked up at him, and then back at me, rolling her eyes.

"Dr Cullen? I see you're still hanging around with _them_. I thought they had all moved away."

"We did. We live together in New Hampshire now - I just graduated from Dartmouth, and we all traveled back to Forks together" I replied, my teeth gritting as I held my polite tone.

"Oh, that's nice," she said, quite obviously not meaning the words. "So why are you here with him and not the weird girl you always hung out with before?"

I slipped my arm around his waist, pulling him closer to me, and smiled widely. I put my left hand up on his chest, making sure she could see my engagement ring. I knew it was a bit petty, but she was really pissing me off.

"Oh, Carlisle and I just needed a break. Alice has been keeping us very busy getting things ready for our wedding."

It didn't take her long to catch on. "_You _are marrying Dr. Cullen?" She asked incredulously.

"Yes," I grinned. "In four weeks."

"What's wrong, none of the guys at Dartmouth would give you the time of day so you just settled for your ex's father? Isn't he kind of _old_?" She sneered at me, and it took all I had not to slap her.

"No, Lauren. He's not too old - he's perfect. And I hardly think I _settled_. Now if you'll excuse us, we need to go home," I said, managing to maintain my politeness long enough to get the words out.

"Whatever," she said dismissively. "You keep telling yourself that. Do whatever you want."

I grabbed Carlisle's hand and he allowed me to drag him to the car. I was furious, and barely controlling my rage. When we arrived at the Mercedes, we threw the bags into the trunk and climbed into the car. As soon as Carlisle sat, I climbed over the center console and straddled his lap, crashing my mouth to his and kissing him fiercely.

"Don't you listen to what she says, Carlisle. Lauren Mallory has always been, and will always be, a bitch. She threw herself at Edward and my brothers over and over again. Everyone at Forks knew she'd sleep with any Cullen who would have her. She's just jealous because I have what she never can. _Do whatever I want?_ Do you know what I want, honey?" My voice was seething with anger and lust combined.

"What do you want, Bella?"

"You. Right now."

As I said this, I was making quick work of his clothes, pulling his pants down around his knees and leaving his shirt on but unbuttoned, giving me all the access I needed.

"She has to be a bitch because she knows that the sexiest man she's ever seen will never even look at her, because he's mine."

"That's right, baby, I'm yours. I'll always be yours," he replied huskily as I grasped onto his already erect cock and started pumping it. He pulled the straps of my tank top down and pushed it under my breasts so that he could suck on my nipples, and slipped my shorts and panties off, thrusting two fingers up into my core.

"Uuuuggghhhh...Carlisle....yeah....so good..."

"Holy hell Bella...don't stop!"

I brought my mouth back to his, our tongues meeting in a furious tango. I kept my hand tight on his length, pumping it quickly, drawing out his moans and growls, as he teased my breasts with one hand and thrust into my sex with the other.

"God, Carlisle....I love...how you feel....uuuggghhh...in me..."

"Do you know....how much....ahhhh....I wish....uggghhhh Bella....this was my...hell....cock in...side....you?"

"Oh god....I wa....want....that too....so much..."

"Soon, baby....soon...."

I was so close, but I didn't want to cum without him. I pumped him even faster that before, and he responded by bringing his thumb to my clit, adding pressure there, and curling his fingers inside me to reach my most sensitive spot. It was too much, and I exploded, my walls clenching around his fingers, crying out his name, and he came at the same time, my name falling from his lips as his venom spurted out onto his belly.

I let my head fall down onto his shoulder, spent and panting.

"Like I said...perfect."

Carlisle started laughing, and I looked up at him, confused. "What?" I demanded.

"Nothing. It's just that this is a bit ridiculous. Not that I'm complaining, mind you."

I looked down, and realized what he meant. Here we were, two adults, going at it like teenagers in the mall parking lot in the front seat of Carlisle's Mercedes. I started laughing with him.

"Come on, we should get dressed before someone else we know shows up," I said, climbing back to my own seat.

Carlisle fixed himself up, then turned to me. "Oh, Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"You are so damn sexy when you're angry."


	37. 34 The Future is Coming Soon

**A/N: I don't own Stephenie Meyer's creation, obviously.**

**Thanks for all your reviews. It's great to know what you think of the story! As for the baby question, I'm leaving it a surprise, sorry. I like keeping you in suspense, lol. **

**Ok, folks, here we are, 3 weeks left until the wedding. The anticipation is (hopefully) building, the excitement growing... This week is a bit more contemplative side of our characters. Enjoy!**

Chapter 34: The Future is Coming Soon - 3 Weeks Until the Wedding

CPOV

As I laid in bed holding Bella while she slept, I couldn't help but think about the future. Not the immediate future, wherein three weeks from tonight I would make Bella my wife, but that which was further out. With Aro's permission to delay Bella's change for a year, I had a great opportunity, one I planned to take advantage of. I had immediately thought of taking her to Paris to see the Louvre, but now that I had more time to contemplate, I realized that there was so much more of the world to see - why stop there?

As I softly stroked down her arm with the tip of my finger, enjoying the warmth and softness of her skin, I thought about the actual act of changing her. I had changed four in the past - Edward, Esme, Rosalie and Emmett. With each, I struggled to make the decision to do so, as they were all in the arms of death and had no say in the matter. For decades I felt terrible guilt for those decisions, especially with regards to Edward and Rosalie, neither of whom seemed happy with this life.

Now I faced changing another - Bella. This time would be different, though, because she had asked for it. She knew all there was to know about what it meant to become a vampire, and still chose to do so. This change would not be accompanied by guilt. This change would not come with regret. This change came with the promise of an eternity of love and happiness instead. And while I hated that I would be the one to cause her three days of unfathomable pain, she insisted that it was worth it to be with me. I couldn't fathom how I had been so blessed to have this woman choose me, but I knew I would always be grateful for her presence in my life.

I held her a bit longer, still stroking her arm and musing about how she might look as a vampire, when Bella suddenly moved and my hand slipped off her arm and landed on her firm stomach. As I lay there with my hand over the womb that would forever be frozen and unable to bear a child, I felt a pang of sadness, and even a bit of jealousy for Mike Newton, who got to watch as his wife's belly swelled with his child, and who would get to spend years raising that child and teaching it the ways of the world.

I had long since accepted that I would never have a child of my own. I was blessed to have found Edward all those years ago and begin a family in a rather untraditional sense, but a family none the less. The "kids" had always done their part to fill the void for Esme, who we all knew wished for a child of her own, the child that had died in her arms as an infant. But they never knew that their presence in our lives did as much for me as it did Esme. It's not often that they call me "Dad", but my heart soars each time they do. Truly, I love them as if they were my own children.

But now, looking down at the beautiful human woman who is soon to be my wife, I longed for something that I knew I could never have. How I wished that I might see her womb grow to accommodate our child. A little girl, perhaps, with Bella's eyes - those beautiful, depthless, chocolate-colored eyes through which I can see her soul. Or a son, with blue eyes like I had as a human, who I could teach to play baseball. To hold that infant in my arms, knowing that it was our love that created it, would be worth more than the entire world and everything in it.

But it's a silly thing to think about. It can never happen, and Bella and I have both accepted that fact. We will have each other, and that will be enough. With that thought, I shook my head and moved my hand away from her belly and laid it over her breast, feeling her heart beating under my palm until she woke in the morning.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two days later, evening found Bella and I sitting on the couch in our bedroom playing a game of chess. In the early days, I was always able to defeat Bella easily, but years of playing with Jasper have made her quite a good opponent. I enjoyed playing with her now, and our matches required my concentration if I wished to win. Tonight, however, my concentration was not on the game, but on the woman I was playing against. She was wearing a green sundress, and each time she leaned over the game board, the strap on her left shoulder would slide down by a few centimeters, causing the fabric over her bust too loosen just enough to show me a bit of the creamy skin on her breast. I doubted that it was intentional, but it made for quite an effective strategy, and she was beating me badly.

It took only three more moves for her to announce checkmate and I to surrender. The prize, as always, was a kiss, which I gladly paid tenfold. Then I moved the game onto the coffee table and pulled Bella across the couch so that I could hold her in my arms.

"Sweetheart? I want to talk to you about the guests that will be arriving in just over a week."

"Alright honey."

"We have eleven vampires coming to stay with us for the wedding. Of those, six do not follow our diet. We are expecting Jasper's closest friends, Peter and Charlotte, as well as very old friends of mine from Ireland, and another who is an American nomad. All of these are very close friends of ours, and would not dare hurt you, nor would they endanger our family by hunting in the vicinity. Now, I have made arrangements to provide them with a meal from the blood bank the day of the wedding, and they have agreed to feed before arriving in Washington to assure they will not be thirsty when they are near you.

However, keeping all of this in mind, I want to request that you stay by my side, at least on the first day they arrive. You have an exceptional scent that has tempted many of the vampires you have come across, and I don't want there to be any chance of you being hurt. I know these guests well, and if any of them felt tempted by you, they would leave us to protect you rather than hurt me. But I love you, and I cannot live without you, so please, do this for me until they have become accustomed to your scent."

"Of course, Carlisle. I would never question your friends or your judgement. You trust these to be in our home, so I don't fear them. But I will stay by your side, with or without your request, because that is where I belong."

I looked down at her and smiled. How I loved this woman!

We sat silently for a few moments before she spoke again.

"Honey? What are you most looking forward to about marrying me?" she asked.

"I hate to admit that it is making love to you, as it makes my intentions seem less than honorable. However, I already know that you love me, that you'll be with me forever, so that is the one thing that I don't yet have."

She laughed. "Don't feel bad about that - it was my answer too!"

I chuckled, and reminded myself that we had less than three weeks left to wait.

"What are you most looking forward to in terms of my change?"

"That's an easy one - I look forward to worrying less. Even though I will have to worry about your control, at least initially, I can stop worrying about things like car accidents, lightning strikes, rogue vampires, drowning in the bathtub..."

"You worry about all of those things?" She said, amusement in her voice.

"Of course. I worry about anything that could possibly take you away from me. That's my biggest fear in this life. I've felt that loss once, I honestly don't believe that I could live through it again."

Fear shone in her eyes, and she brought her hand up to cup my cheek. I saw tears glistening in her eyes. "Please don't say that, Carlisle. I don't even want to think about you not existing. Please, never say that again."

"I'm sorry, dear. I promise, never again." I kissed her, trying to ease her fears. Once she calmed, I asked her the same quesiton.

"I look forward to many things, but I think the biggest is that I won't have to waste my nights sleeping, and can be with you instead."

She took a deep breath before asking her next question. "What do you look forward to the least about my change?"

"Causing you pain. I hate that I have to do that to you. I know you've tasted the pain before, when James bit you, but it was only your arm. This will be your whole body - the pain is quite extreme, and you'll never forget it. I don't mind changing you, I just wish there was a way to do it without the pain.

There's also the pain of the thirst, which, while it may lessen over time, will never fully abate. When it flares, you will feel like you've been lost in the desert for weeks without water. It can be extremely unpleasant."

"Thank you for being so honest. But I want you to know that no amount of physical pain could compare to what I would feel if I lost you. I submit myself willingly to the burn for the prize of spending eternity with you. I love you, Carlisle. Jasper once said four words to me that were perhaps more meaningful than anything else he's said since, and I repeat them to you now, because they are just as true in this moment as they were back then." She took my face between her hands, tilting it so that I looked directly in her eyes. "You _are_ worth it."

I couldn't help myself, and crashed my lips to hers. This wonderful creature loved me enough to subject herself to the worst torture imaginable, just to be with me. And in return, I would love her for eternity.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Friday was a sunny day, forcing us to remain at home. In the early afternoon, I found Bella sitting in the backyard near the stream, reading. I walked out and sat beside her. She looked at me with wonder for a moment, then asked me to take off my shirt.

"I've never seen you sparkle when I was really paying attention to you. I want to see it now," she explained.

I did as she asked, and lay down in the grass, soaking up the warmth of the sun's rays.

"You are so very beautiful, Carlisle," she whispered as she pressed soft kisses all over my face and chest before lying down perpendicular to me, her head resting on my abdomen.

"So what were you reading when I came out?" I asked.

"Shakespeare. You know me, I'm a sucker for the guy..." she said, her voice lilting with laughter. "King Lear this time.

_'I love you more than words can yield the matter _

_Dearer than eyesight, space, and liberty.'"_

I thought for a moment, wanting to reply with a quote as meaningful as the one she spoke to me.

"Yes, you do love your Shakespeare. And I do so love a challenge. What of this?

_'Doubt thou that the stars are fire;_

_Doubt that the sun doth move;_

_Doubt truth to be a liar;_

_But never doubt that I love you.'"_

"Hamlet? Good one. Here's another for you:

_'I love thee, I love but thee;_

_With a love that shall not die_

_till the sun grows cold_

_and the stars grow old.'_"

I could not control my emotion, and sat up enough to capture her lips with mine.

"Perfect. I concede to your victory, my love. Truly I could not find better words than those!"

I pulled her up so that we sat side my side, and returned my lips to hers, pouring my love into each kiss. We kissed for several minutes before pulling apart.

"Carlisle? What do you think eternity will be like?"

"I don't know Bella. I've seen so many changes in the last three hundred and sixty years, it's hard to imagine what the next centuries and millennia will bring. The only thing I can be certain of is that I'll love you through all of it.

I promise you, sweetheart, I've learned from my mistakes. When I was with Esme, I wasted too much time working that I could have been paying attention to her. I won't do that with you. Mind you, I'm not going to stop practicing medicine, but I will do it in a way that provides more balance. It's not as if we don't have enough money to last us forever! The most important times in life are those that are spent loving, and I'm planning to devote an extensive amount of time to loving you, Miss Swan."

"You won't be able to call me that much longer."

"That day can't come soon enough!"

She giggled as I pulled her down to lay on top of me, sliding my tongue quickly into her mouth and kissing her deeply. It was true, I didn't know what our future held, but I knew that we would spend it together and in love, and that was perfect.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed the musings of thoughtful Carlisle. He had a lot on his mind this week. **


	38. 35 Surprise!

**A/N: Stephenie Meyer created these guys, I just let them have a bit of fun.**

**I was thrilled to see that Ch 34 had the highest number of readers thus far. I'm so glad to see so many people enjoying my story!**

**Hope you're enjoying the build-up. We're down to the last 2 weeks before the big event. I know the Cullens and I are excited. Are you?**

Chapter 35: Surprise!

2 Weeks Until the Wedding

BPOV

It was fairly early in the morning still, and I was doing my best to ignore my hunger, instead focusing on the rather intense make-out session I was in the middle of with Carlisle. Really, this man had to be the best kisser that ever walked the earth. It was amazing, the way he could make me feel with just a kiss. It was as if he was encompassing my entire body with his luscious lips. I was on fire, and I couldn't get enough.

Just as I thought I might spontaneously combust with desire, Alice started beating on our bedroom door, calling out to me, "Bella! Cover up whatever you don't want seen, I'm coming in there!"

I sighed, and we disengaged our lips and, breathing heavily, lay back against my pillow.

"Come on in, Alice." I replied. The little pixie ran in and jumped onto the foot of the bed.

"Good morning!" She cried.

"Good morning, Alice," replied Carlisle politely, though I was quite sure that he appreciated the interruption as much as I did.

"Alice, if you came in here to tell me that I have to try on my dress again, I might rip off your arms."

"No, no, Bella, nothing like that. You don't have to try it on anymore, except for two nights before the wedding. I came in here this morning to help you get ready, because you are going with me to Seattle."

"Why?"

"I have a few things to do there, and since you'll be leaving us soon to go on your honeymoon, I wanted to spend the day with you." She gave me an innocent pout that was extremely hard to resist.

"Ok, Alice. You win. I'll be out in a minute."

"Oh no you don't, sister. I've Seen what happens if you don't walk out the door with me now, and I do not feel like waiting another hour for you to finish making out with Daddy Dearest."

I made a disgusted face, but acquiesced. I leaned over Carlisle and pressed one last kiss on his lips. "I'll see you later, my love," I whispered into his ear.

"Have a fun time with your sister. I'll see you soon, sweetheart."

A while later, once I had been acceptably dressed and styled, Alice and I got into the Porshe and made the (ridiculously fast) drive to Seattle. I tried to get her to tell me what we were going to do there, but she refused to tell me. Finally, we drove into the parking lot of Tiffany & Co.

"Alice, what are we doing here?" I asked.

"I know you wanted to give Carlisle a wedding gift, and I Saw that you would find the perfect thing here. Also, we have to pick up Carlisle's wedding band so you can take it to the engravers, now that you FINALLY decided what you wanted written on it." She flashed me her giant smile.

"You may be a hyper, annoying, all-knowing pixie, but I love you," I teased.

Inside the store, it didn't take too long to choose Carlisle's wedding gift. I picked a gorgeous stainless steel watch with a large round face that I was sure he'd love. As soon as I saw it, I knew it was perfect. Alice's smile as I held it only confirmed my instinct. I paid for my purchases, and then Alice drove us to the engraver's shop. I gave him my instructions: the watch was to be engraved with "our time has just begun" and our wedding date, and Carlisle's wedding band would say "...until the sun grows cold...", which was a line from a Shakespeare quote I had recited to him a few weeks ago during a conversation about literature. Alice promised to pick up the items in one week.

"By the way," she said cryptically as we walked back to the Porshe, "you should read that poem you wrote to Rose. She'll have a good idea for you about it."

"What else do we have to do, Alice?" I asked once we were back in the car.

"That's it for errands, actually. Is there anywhere you'd like to go?"

"We can just go home if you want."

"No!" She squealed. "I want to spend more time with you! How about I take you to lunch?"

I agreed, and she drove us to the Palomino Bistro. The food was delicious, and we had a great time chatting together about nothing in particular-just enjoying each other's company. It had been so long since we'd talked about anything besides the wedding, and I loved it.

Once I'd finished and Alice had put her untouched food into a box, we walked outside and down the street until Alice found a homeless woman and handed her the food before returning to the Porshe.

"Home?" I asked.

Alice looked at her watch, then me. "Yes, let's go home now," she said, smiling.

I had a feeling something was up, but Alice said nothing, so I just enjoyed the ride.

We arrived at the house about forty-five minutes later thanks to Alice's ridiculously fast driving, and she parked in front of the house rather than in the garage as usual. I gave her a questioning look.

"Are you leaving again, Alice?"

"Um, no...But I think Jasper wanted to go somewhere with Emmett, and neither of them have a car here." (We had only brought Alice's Porche and Carlisle's Mercedes back to Forks with us, since it was just a short trip.)

"Oh, ok," I said, walking towards the front door unassumingly.

When I opened the door, I was shocked. The living room had been transformed while we were gone, filled with vases of coral-colored roses and golden balloons. What surprised me even more, however, was now _what,_ but _who _I saw in the living room. In front of me were Rosalie, Tanya, Kate, Irina, Carmen, Angela Weber, Emily Uley, Kim (Jared's imprint), Sue Clearwater, and my mother. It was a strange mix, perhaps, but it was all the women I cared about, all smiling at me.

"What is this?" I asked, flabbergasted.

"It's your bridal shower, silly!" My mom exclaimed, running to throw her arms around me in a tight hug.

"Surprise!" Everyone else chorused.

"Wow, thank you guys! I really had no idea. I'm so glad you're all here!"

I turned to Angela, who I had spoken to and emailed, but not seen in person in four years. "Angela, I've missed you so much! I'm so happy you could come!"

"I wouldn't miss it, Bella. I'm so glad that you found happiness again."

Looking at her hand, I smiled. "It looks like I'm not the only one!"

"Ben proposed a few weeks ago. We're planning to get married this winter, after Thanksgiving."

"That's great, Angela. Congratulations. I'm so happy for you."

I made my way around the rest of the group, greeting them all in turn. I congratulated Emily on her pregnancy and Kim on her marriage, which had taken place over the winter.

I wasn't sure how to react when I reached Irina. Now I understood why Rosalie and Carlisle had both mentioned her last week. I was trying to decide whether to bring it up, but she beat me to it.

"Listen, Bella, I just wanted to congratulate you on your upcoming marriage, and also to apologize. I didn't know of your relationship with Carlisle at the time he visited, but my behavior was inappropriate either way. I hope you'll forgive me."

"Of course, Irina. You didn't know. We're going to be cousins now, anyways, right?"

"Yes, I suppose we are. I also wanted to apologize on behalf of myself and Irina for calling you several impolite names and questioning your character."

"But you didn't."

"Yes...we did, you just didn't hear us. Anyways, we're sorry. We'd like to start off with clean feet, if you don't mind."

I laughed silently at her strange expression, but decided not to comment about it. Maybe some day when we were closer friends.

"I'd like that very much, cousin," I agreed, leaning in to give her a hug. When she let me go, I hugged Tanya as well.

Once everyone was seated, Rosalie passed around flutes of champagne, and brought in a tray of fruits, cheese, and crackers. Everyone sat chatting amongst themselves for a few minutes while I went upstairs with Alice to freshen up for the party. Luckily that wasn't too much trouble-Alice had planned for this when she got me dressed this morning in a cute ivory dress and leather belt. She touched up my makeup and we returned to the party.

When Alice and I re-entered the living room, she led me to the big armchair that had been set so that the rest of the furniture made a semi-circle around it. All attention turned to me, and I felt myself blush. I would really look forward to that disappearing once I was changed!

"So, Bella, I don't know about everyone else, but I'd definitely like to hear the story of how we ended up here today," said Angela.

"Yes, Bella, how _did_ you end up engaged to the devastatingly handsome Doctor Cullen?" Asked Tanya.

I blushed again. "Well, believe me when I say it was as much a shock to the two of us as it was to anyone. You know we both lost what we were sure were the loves of our lives four years ago. To be honest, I never expected to love again, and Carlisle felt the same way. We leaned on each other a lot, helping each other through the grief, and it made us friends.

I moved with the Cullens to Hanover so we could attend Dartmouth. As time went by, Carlisle and my friendship got closer, but we were always just friends. Somewhere along the way, our pain had lessened, and we both started to see each other in a different light. But neither of us acted on it because we were afraid, and we felt guilty. Eventually, I found myself really falling for him, and it was too much for me to deal with. So I left for a study abroad in Scotland.

While I was gone, we both realized that our feelings for each other were real. Carlisle came to see me over winter break, and told me how he felt, and we spent the two weeks together.

Finally, when I came home in March, we just knew we didn't want to be apart anymore. The rest is, as they say, history."

"Wow, that's some story, Bella," Emily said.

"Yeah, it was a long hard road for us to get here, but once we could accept wanting it, everything was easy." I smiled, remembering.

"Yes, everything is wonderful, now. And in two short weeks, the two of you will be husband and wife, and that's why we are here!" Alice chimed. "Now, I think you have a good idea of what might happen on your honeymoon," I blushed a deep shade of scarlet and glared at her grinning face, "and since we all know how sweet and innocent our little Bella is, we decided to help you prepare."

"Oh god, Alice, what do you mean?" I groaned, terrified.

"This is no ordinary shower, sis," explained Rosalie. "It's a lingerie shower!"

A hole... I need a hold to crawl into so that I can hide. They can't possibly be serious, giving me lingerie in front of my mom and future stepmother (Charlie had proposed to Sue at Christmas)! I swallowed hard, and tried to get my breathing under control, taking a great interest in my sandals rather than looking at anyone else in the room.

"Bella, sweetie, it's okay," my mom said. "There's no reason to be embarrassed. We're all friends here, and this is all in good fun. Come on, open your gifts."

I looked at my mom and smiled. She was grinning ear to ear, just like Alice. That's when I realized she had been in on the planning. Shaking my head, I took a big sip of my champagne, laughed and said, "Bring it on, girls!"

"That's what we like to hear!" Kim cheered.

Alice directed the women to pass me my gifts,which had all been thoughtfully wrapped in gift bags at her request, one at a time.

The first bag was from Angela. She had gotten me several camisole tops, each one in a different color, with matching ruffled boy shorts. They were very cute, and fairly innocent. I liked them a lot.

"Thanks, Angela, these are adorable!" I gave her a big smile, which she returned. I knew hers would probably be the most innocent of the bunch, and I was glad to know I'd have at least something relatively unassuming. _Not to mention, they are innocent enough that I could walk around the bedroom with them on, but sexy enough that if I did, Carlisle would probably attack me and have his way with me. Hmmmm.... good gift! _

Emily and Kim both gave me pastel babydolls that were pretty and sweet rather than overtly sexy. I liked them and thought that they were good choices for my first days as a married woman, since they were a bit innocent, like I still (_kind of_) was.

Sue handed me her bag next, which held two shiny satin chemises, one of them a dark blue and the other a bright pink. They had pretty black lace detailing along the top and outlining the slit on the thigh.

I was feeling pretty comfortable already, thanks to the combination of champagne and good friends, so I was decided to tease Sue a little.

"I love these, Sue, thanks. Did my Dad help pick them out?"

The room filled with laughter and Sue had tears falling from her eyes.

"Very funny, Bella. Charlie may be over the moon about you marrying Carlisle, but as far as he is concerned, you will be a virgin forever, because he refuses to think about any other option. He probably would have fainted seeing these."

My mom and I looked at each other and laughed even harder, knowing that Sue couldn't be more right-Charlie really wasn't big on change. And after spending my graduation day calling me his "little girl", I had a feeling he wasn't as ready to let go as he claimed.

Rosalie was next. In her bag I found several gifts. The first was a sheer, fluttery red camisole that was split up the front until just under the bust. It had a black ribbon in the center and a little lace ruffle along the edge of the straps and across the bust. It came with matching ruffled red panties. It was sweet, yet sexy at the same time. The second piece required a bit of figuring out. I was rather confused looking at it, so Rose got up and held it up for me to see.

"Rose! Where's the rest of it?!" I demanded.

In her hands she held a blood red scrap of fabric. It had two strips of lace that circled the neckline and then went down to the hips, held together only by a tiny strip of lace about an inch in width in the middle. At the end of the lace was a little mesh skirt with a ruffled hem, and there was a matching thong as well.

This was the first piece that made me blush.

"Are you serious, Rosalie?" I asked.

"Bella, you will look so hot in this, believe me! I have one, and Emmett loves it! It will make Carlisle crazy!"

"Oh god, Rosalie, isn't it creepy to think of your dad like that?" Angela asked, making a face.

"We're all adults now, and it's not like he's old and gross, right? It doesn't really affect me," Rosalie explained. Angela accepted it, but still seemed a bit freaked out by the idea.

I was a bit skeptical of the, uh, outfit?, myself, but I decided to trust Rose... After all, she always looked sexy.

Last in her bag were three much more innocent pajama sets, with printed tank tops with a complimenting solid-colored satin pant. I was glad to have something like this, even if I wasn't planning on spending much of my time in bed with Carlisle wearing clothes...

I was actually feeling pretty excited about my gifts by the time I got to Alice's bag. Hers, like Rosalie's, was rather large. In it I found several very beautiful lace bra and panty sets, and two pieces of sexy lingerie. The first was black, mostly lace and mesh, with ivory ruffles around the cups and an ivory criss-cross ribbon all the way down the front. It had a matching black thong and ivory garter belts, and was absolutely beautiful. The second was a deep purple babydoll with a gauzy feeling to it. It tied around the neck and had beading under the bust. It reminded me of Ancient Greece somehow.

"That one," she said, indicating the purple babydoll, "you need to save. You'll understand why later."

"Great job, as usual, Alice. Everything is gorgeous!"

"Wait, sis, there's one more," she said, handing me a smaller bag.

"Alice, you got me enough already!" I complained.

"Yes, but I bought it all a while ago, and then I suddenly got the idea to get you this too."

I opened the bag, and was shocked. In it was a black leather corset with garter belts, a miniscule black leather thong, a pair of black thigh highs, and a pair of what can only be described as "fuck me" heels. I swallowed hard and looked at Alice.

"Um...Alice?"

She was barely containing her laughter. "Let's just say, Bella, that I have it on very good authority that Carlisle will like this. He mentioned really liking you riding jacket," she said, tapping the side of her head with one finger.

_Oh my god, she Saw the Ducati ride! _

I flushed a very unnatural shade of red and took another large swig of champagne, trying to avoid making direct eye contact with anyone, especially my two sisters were were laughing their asses off.

Several of the guests tried to get me to spill the details on what had me so embarrassed, but there was no way in hell I was admitting to that, especially not in front of my mother!

Once everyone was calmed down, I got to my next gift, which was from Carmen. Her gift was two pair of pajamas that were similar to the ones Rose had picked for me. She also got me a pretty pink babydoll. It was nice to know that at least one of the Denali women was a bit less overt.

And now, it was time for me to open gifts from said sucubus sisters. When I first learned of the theme of the party, I was a little nervous about what they might give me, but then I opened my sister's gifts. Now I was terrified. These were three of the most sexual women I have ever heard of, and I couldn't imagine what they might choose for me. I took a deep breath and made a silent prayer that it wouldn't be too embarrassing. It went unanswered.

Kate's gift was several pair of crotchless panties with matching bras. I was having trouble holding back the blush when I saw the panties, mostly because I kept thinking about that day at the mall when we saw Lauren. _These would have made a day like that much more convenient... I'll have to keep that in mind._

Irina gave me a sheer black lace chemise that laced up the back like a corset, and sheer black teddy that only covered to the sides. The back of it was merely one band around at the top, and one band around the bottom that connected to the thong. There were little pink hearts embroidered on the cups and the panty region, and both the cups and the crotch were split open. This one raised quite a few eyebrows in the room, including mine. It was admittedly cute and extremely sexy, but I would have much preferred not sharing it with my mom.

Last was Tanya. Her gift was probably the biggest shock of all, but it got all of us laughing again. She had chosen a "naughty nurse" costume, complete with all accessories, even the shoes. She claimed it was the perfect gift for the wife of the very sexy Doctor Cullen. I was so glad Jasper wasn't in the room when I opened this, because the lusty thoughts I had of Carlisle in his white coat and me in this costume were enough to make my poor brother's head explode. As much as I pretended to be horrified, I was definitely going to be writing a nice thank you note to Tanya.

Suddenly, Alice grabbed me by the arm. "You HAVE to stop, right now!" She whispered into my ear in an urgent voice.

"What Alice? Is something wrong?" I asked, not sure what she meant.

"Yes, I am going to have to bleach my mind's eye now thanks to your little doctor fantasy! So much more than I needed to See!!"

I laughed rather hysterically, as did Rosalie and the Denalis, whose vampire hearing had obviously picked up on our conversation. The humans in the room were noticeably confused, but I couldn't possibly explain.

Finally, my mom distracted us from our giggles and brought me her gift bag.

"Bella, my baby girl, I am so proud of you right now. You have made so much of yourself in college and you are such a beautiful woman. You will make a gorgeous bride and a wonderful wife-Carlisle is a very lucky man. When Alice told me about the theme of the party, I requested that I be allowed to buy you a piece for your wedding night. I hope that it is a wonderful night for you, and followed by a lifetime of such nights and more love than you ever dreamed of. I love you, my daughter."

With tears in my eyes, I hugged my mother, and then opened her gift. It was a beautiful white strapless babydoll. The bust was lace, and there was a satin ribbon tied in a bow under it, and then a georgette skirt flowed down just below the hips. It would be perfect for my wedding night. She also got me a pastel blue lace babydoll with a side slit accessorized by tiny bows.

"Thank you all, so much. I really love all of my gifts, and I'm sure I'll find a way to use them all... Hopefully soon." I grinned. The champagne was obviously going to my head.

We spent the rest of the evening laughing and chatting with each other, and I absolutely loved it.

**A/N: Well, well, well..fun party. Nice to see everyone getting along, don't you think? Hope you enjoyed it. Links to the majority of the gifts are on my profile page. Several them will be making guest appearances in future chapters....wink wink.**


	39. 36 Anticipation

**A/N: Stephenie Meyer is the true genius behind my writing. She invented the characters, I am just having fun with them. **

**We are soooo close! 1 week from the wedding... I'm not sure who is more excited, me or Bella and Carlisle! Hope you are equally excited as well. You are so funny with your constant speculation and wondering about the future of these two in your reviews... But I love making you wait!**

**Just so you know, wedding events will be several chapters, beginning with the one posted after this one!**

Chapter 36: Anticipation

Alternating POVs

One Week Until the Wedding

CPOV

Seven days. In seven days she will be my _wife_. Time is passing far too slowly. It seems to take a month for each day to pass. How I want these seven days to be over already! I want Isabella Swan to become Isabella Cullen, mine forever.

I wasn't working, had completed every task Alice assigned to me, and found myself with way too much time on my hands. I tried reading one of the books I had picked up with Bella in Port Angeles, but nothing could hold my attention. Not when I was so close to becoming her husband. I spent hours of each day with a silly grin on my face, imagining how beautiful Bella would look walking down the aisle towards me, how amazing it would feel to say my vows to her, to hear the two of us announced as Dr. and Mrs. Cullen... I pictured us dancing together after the ceremony, twirling my beautiful bride around the dance floor...

And then, of course, there was the wedding _night_ to imagine. I don't know what happened at Bella's party last weekend, but Jasper has been complaining quite a bit about the amount of lust that she has been emitting ever since, and I've not been much better myself. Every time I looked at her or held her at night, all I wanted to do is make love to her. I have found myself caught up in fantasy after fantasy all week, and it doesn't seem to be improving. Even finding release with her, which was usually extremely satisfying, was not up to par, because all I could think about was bring inside her. Soon....

BPOV

One week. Seven days. One hundred and twenty-eight hours. That's all the time that was left until I became Mrs Carlisle Cullen. I swear, time was not passing. It didn't help that I really had nothing to do. All of the wedding details were complete already, Alice had packed my suitcases for the honeymoon on her own, I had no schoolwork for the first time in three years, and I was way too excited to sit and read.

I did my best to pass the time by visiting with my parents and my siblings. But by Wednesday of last week, when he and Alice very nearly had sex in the living room with all of us sitting there, Jasper refused to spend any more time near me, saying that he couldn't deal with the constant lust I was passing him. Alice's ability wasn't controlled by distance, however, so she was still suffering, which she made apparent by slapping me on the back of my head every time she entered a room, claiming that I was spending way too much time around Emmett for her taste. I tried, really I did, but one look at the gorgeous, sexy man who was days away from becoming my husband made it rather impossible to control, especially after all that lingerie gave me so many naughty ideas...

It wasn't just sexual, though, although I can't possibly deny that's part of it. I reveled in the knowledge that in seven days, I'd be his forever. That everyone would know I was his and he was mine. I'd finally be a Cullen for real, not just at heart. I would walk down the aisle on the arm of my father, and promise to love Carlisle for all eternity. Pastor Weber would pronounce us Dr and Mrs Carlisle Cullen... Yes, in just seven days, my dreams would come true.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

5 Days Until the Wedding

CPOV

I'm not sure I can wait five more days. The anticipation is wearing on my nerves so much. All I can think about is making Isabella my wife, making love to her, and sharing eternity with her. As I said several months ago, there are no distractions from this woman!

My impatience for my wedding day seemed to grow with each passing moment. I had already gone as far as calling the airlines to check times for flights to Las Vegas, considering running off with Bella and marrying her tonight. Alice, of course, Saw that happen, and came running to my room in a rage. I tried to bargain with her, promising her that we'd still have the wedding on Saturday, but to no avail. Ever since that conversation, I've noticed the constant presence of Emmett (Jasper still refuses to be in the room with me for long periods of time, as the last time he nearly kissed me himself), I suppose to keep me from running off before Alice can catch me.

Our first out of town vampire guests will be arriving this afternoon, which is the only thing holding me in place. We were expecting quite the houseful - eleven vampires, though only three mated pairs in the group. That was good, as it meant we only had need for three guest rooms, which was all we had. Of the eleven, six were not vegetarian, but had promised to feed immediately before coming and nowhere within Washington state. All were close friends of our family, so I didn't have any reason to mistrust them, though I knew that Sam and the pack were not entirely comfortable with the arrangement.

For lack of distractions until the guests begin to arrive, I convinced Emmett to go out hunting with me for a few hours until we need to return to play hosts. If nothing else, at least I'll be fed.

BPOV

This afternoon was almost like a dress rehearsal for my life five days from now. I stood at Carlisle's side as we welcomed the out-of-town guests into our home, as if I was already Mrs. Cullen, and I loved every second of it. Many of the guests we were welcoming were non-vegetarian vampires, which I suppose, with my history, should have been terrifying. However, Carlisle assured me that everyone coming were close friends and would never attack me, and all would be arriving well fed. I shuddered at the thought of that, but tried to take comfort in the fact that they were not feeding anywhere in Washington.

The first to arrive were Jasper's closest friends outside the family, Peter and Charlotte. These were the two who had helped him find the strength to escape Maria all those years ago, so I already thought highly of them. Jasper told me that despite feeding from humans, they did it in compassionate ways, meaning they only took people who were terminally ill or homeless, or, like Edward used to do, he would stop violent criminals from committing crimes and feed from them. They were very warm and friendly, and I liked them both immediately.

The next to come were a coven from Ireland, Siobhan and her mate Liam, as well as Maggie. Carlisle had met Siobhan in his very early vampire days when he was still in the UK. She was a massive woman, and rather intimidating despite her friendly smile, but her mate was very quiet and reserved. I very rarely noticed Liam speaking to anyone beside his mate, and noticed that he kept his distance from me as Jasper had when we first met. Maggie, who was a tiny redhead, reminded me a lot of Alice, even in the way she immediately hugged me when we met, and seemed to be nearly bouncing off the walls with excitement for the wedding.

A nomad named Garrett was next to arrive. He had been human at the time of the American Revolution, and still carried his revolutionary beliefs. He was fascinating to talk to, and was extremely charismatic. He was quite handsome as well, and I wondered why he had no mate.

The final group to arrive was the Denali clan. Now that I had mended fences with Irina and Tanya, I felt quite comfortable having them in the house. I must admit, though, it was with this group that I most felt the role of Mrs. Cullen. I noticed right away that Rosalie and Alice gravitated toward the sisters, while Carlisle and I focused on Eleazar and Carmen. This was fine with me, as I really preferred their company over that of the sisters anyway, but it was somewhat strange at the same time, to be divided in such a way. It was, however, primarily a division of conversation, as we were all actually sitting in the same area, and I'm sure I would have been welcomed into either group.

We had been talking for awhile, and I had noticed that Eleazar was staring at me, looking perplexed during most of the conversation, before he finally spoke to me directly.

"Bella, could Edward hear your thoughts?" he asked.

"No, he couldn't," I replied, surprised. "How did you know that?"

"Do you see something, friend?" Asked Carlisle eagerly.

"No, and that's exactly the problem. I believe you have a shield in your new wife, Carlisle."

I was confused, but I saw Carlisle's expression morph into one of wonder.

"What do you mean?" I asked, at the same time Carlisle said, "Really? Amazing!"

"Bella, years ago I worked with the Volturi - that is how Carlisle and I came to know each other. My job for them was similar to a scout - my ability is to see those of other vampires. It is very rare that I can see one in a human, however. But yours is quite powerful, even now in your human form. I expect you will make quite an extraordinary vampire, Bella."

This was amazing news. I was thrilled that I was going to have a power. I hoped that whatever my shield did, it was something that would benefit my family. Carlisle grabbed my hand and squeezed it, still quite obviously pleased with the news.

"Bella is extraordinary even as a human, Eleazar," he said, smiling lovingly at me. _He always says just the right thing to make me melt._

Once again I was overcome by the incredible desire to force time to move forward to the moment we could say "I do". _Is there a vampire with that power? Maybe Eleazar knows - I'd like to meet them right now._

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3 Days Until the Wedding

CPOV

We are down to a three day wait for our wedding. It's torturous, really. I'm beginning to wonder if one of our guests has the power to slow time that I am unaware of...perhaps I should check on that.

Alice has kept me so busy ever since she Saw me taking Bella and running to Vegas two days ago that I have had but a few minutes to be home with my fiancee. And with as many guests as we've had, even the time we are home together lacks any semblance of privacy. I miss her, and my body is simply aching for her.

Today, however, we were separated at my own doing. There were several important things that I needed to do, which I could not do with Bella nearby. So as much as I hated to be away from her, I sent her off to spend time with her parents, knowing that her time with them is limited.

Once she was safely at Charlie's, I drove to Seattle. My first stop was the engraver's shop, where I picked up Bella's wedding band and gift. I had gotten her a small silver charm in the shape of a wedding cake, and engraved our wedding date on it. It wasn't much, but her real gift would be waiting for us on our honeymoon, and I didn't want to leave her empty-handed. Her wedding band inscription had taken me quite awhile to decide upon, but I finally chose to use words that I had spoken when I asked her to be my wife: "For every moment of eternity."

From the engraver's, I went to the bank in Seattle where my family keeps our safety deposit box. Alice had let me know last week that she, Rosalie and Renee were working together to gather Bella's something old, new, borrowed and blue. Inspiration struck me at that moment, and before I even had a chance to ask, Alice accepted. So I was on my way to the box to pick up Bella's something old: Esme's gold hair combs. She wore them at our wedding, back in 1921. I had no doubt that Esme would approve, and I knew it would be special for Bella as well, for her second mother to have a part in her wedding even though she could no longer be with us.

On the way back to Forks, I made my last stop at the blood bank in Port Angeles. With several non-vegetarian vampire guests coming to the wedding, I had offered to provide a "bagged lunch" for each on the day of the wedding. This would ensure the safety of all the human guests and my bride, since it would keep the vampires from being thirsty when the humans were around. Yet another time when my being a doctor was very convenient for my family.

Finally, I was finished. With no more calls or texts from Alice requiring other errands from me, I was free to go to my Bella.

I couldn't help but let my imagination run wild as I drove toward her... I was so thrilled by the idea of her in her wedding gown. I had no idea what it might look like, but I knew she loved it, so I suspected it was not overly fluffy or showy - that's not my Bella. She is a classic beauty, understated yet elegant...perfect.

I just three days, we'd make promises to each other in front of our family and friends, we'd dance together under the stars afterward... How I love dancing with that woman. She may not be the most graceful woman who ever existed, but she's come a long way from the clumsy teenager we once knew. And finally, we'd end the night by driving to the Fairmont Olympic Hotel in Seattle, where we would spend the night making love until we had to leave for the airport in the morning. I couldn't imagine a better day.

BPOV

Alice decided that I needed to have a day or relaxation and pampering today, to prepare for the wedding and calm me. I wasn't nervous - quite the opposite, really. I was exhilarated! I was marrying the man of my dreams in three days!

Alice, Rosalie, Renee, Sue and I drove to the Napolitano Day Spa in Seattle early this morning. Alice and Rose had scheduled our whole day, and said that it was their treat, as it was their wedding gift to me. Despite being friends with Alice for the past six years, I'd never actually been to a spa (Alice always did my "treatments"), so I was cautiously excited about this day, especially since I got to share it with the most important women in my life.

My first treatment was waxing - legs and bikini area. I wasn't so sure about the "gift" once I heard this. What kind of gift is pure torture? But Alice and Rose both swore that I'd thank them for it later, when I didn't have to shave for the duration of my honeymoon, so I grudgingly agreed to go through with it. While I might appreciate it in the future, several minutes and many screams later, I was definitely happy to say it was over.

The rest of the day was much better. We all got facials, manicures and pedicures next. We were able to sit together chatting during the nail treatments, mostly about the wedding and how amazing it was that I would be Mrs Cullen in a matter of three short days.

Following this, Alice and Rosalie went for algae wraps while the rest of us had hot stone massages (unfortunately, my sisters didn't get the pleasure of this massage, because their hard vampire skin would be very suspicious to the person rubbing them). The massage was so relaxing that I actually dozed off for a few minutes.

We finished up our day with a sea salt body polish and a soak in the tea bath. I spent the entire bath blushing and giggling as my sisters, mother, and stepmother gave me wedding night tips. When we got out, I couldn't believe how silky my skin was. Rosalie whispered to me about how much Carlisle would love it, since vampires have such advanced tactile senses. I couldn't wait to let him try it out...

We stopped and had dinner before going home, and when we finally arrived at the house, Carlisle was waiting on the steps leading to the front door, looking as handsome as ever. I ran to him, and he picked me up easily, kissing all over my face.

"I missed you so much, sweetheart," he said between kisses.

"Oh Carlisle, I missed you too! I thought of you all day!"

"Your skin...it's so soft, my love. What did you do?"

"We spent the day at the spa... Take me inside and I'll show you how soft the rest of it is..."

Chuckling, he ran with me to our bedroom, where he immediately stripped me of my shorts and tank top, revealing one of the beautiful French lace bra and panty sets that Alice had given me at my shower. _Yes, I'll admit, I was hoping he'd have this type of reaction to the spa trip and had planned ahead._

"Oh, these are very pretty, Isabella, but I'm afraid we're going to have to remove them anyways," he whispered lustily into my ear as he licked around the lobe, making me shiver. He unhooked my bra and pulled it off as his lips pressed a trail of open mouthed kisses down my neck and over my collarbone. As he tossed the fabric to the ground, he moved around to the back of me, divesting himself of his clothes at vampire speed on his way. I was surprised when I felt his cold naked body press up against my back, his pronounced arousal firm against my ass, his hands reaching around me to cup my breasts. I let my head fall back on his shoulder as another shiver of pleasure ran through me and I sighed his name. Then his tongue was licking a line down my spine, and it was all I could do to keep still. I was trying my best to be quiet, knowing that there was a possibility of up to fifteen vampires being in the house to overhear me.

When he reached the top of my panties, he dragged his hands down from my breasts, grazing my skin all the way, until he reached my panties.

"You weren't kidding, sweetheart. Your skin is like pure silk. It feels amazing."

He pulled my panties slowly down my legs, kissing down my thighs as he did, until he finally lifted each leg one at a time to remove the panties completely. Then he came back around to my front, still running his fingers all over me, purring contentedly, his lips following their path as much as they could as he worked his way back up my body again until he was standing in front of me. I was panting, desperate for more, but at the same time not wanting him to stop what he was doing.

He lifted me easily and laid me back onto the bed, propping me up on the pillows. I reached out to touch him, but he caught my hand and placed it gently back onto the pillow.

"Not now, sweetheart, I'm busy enjoying your silkiness. How could I argue with that? I laid there, writhing and moaning as quietly as I could while he continued to move his hands all over my skin, just barely applying enough pressure for me to feel him. He brought his face down to my right leg, with his cheek against my skin, and ran it up my leg just as he had with his hands. When he reached my upper thigh, I heard him inhale deeply and moan.

"Mmmmmm....I love the way you smell."

He turned his head slightly, and my eyes snapped open as I felt his tongue reach into my folds and lick all the way up to my clit. I was turned on by all his teasing that the little bundle of nerves was already throbbing, and I could feel moisture dripping out onto my thighs.

"Mmmmmm, but the way you taste, baby...delicious."

He continued to tease me, lightly licking and flicking my clit in between licks up and down my folds. His hands were trailing all over my torso as he did this, returning to my breasts to give them attention every pass.

"Oh god, Carlisle....honey....so good....aaaaahhhhh...."

I was near the point of simply imploding if he didn't give me more, but I was hard pressed to ask for it when this already felt so incredible. Finally, I felt the coil tighten past my ability to maintain.

"Carlisle....honey...I...gonna...now...uuuuuugggghhhh!"

I could feel him laughing into my center as I came, though he stopped long enough to lap up whatever moisture was available to him. He lifted his face then, and smirked at me.

"Well that was a surprise, baby, I've barely even begun!"

I was panting still, rather overwhelmed by all the sensations that had caused me to cum so quickly.

"Need you, honey," I panted. "Want to have you in my mouth."

"But I'm not finished here, I told you," he replied, smirking again. "You'll have to be more patient."

Then an idea came to me. "Carlisle, you said you weren't finished, right?"

"That's right," he answered, looking a bit curious about where I was taking this.

"Flip around. Then we can both have what we want," I said, turning to my side.

It took him a minute, but he figured out what I meant and flipped himself in the bed so that his feet were up near my head, and he was on his side, bringing his gorgeous cock in line with my mouth and my sex with his face. I didn't waste any time diving onto his length, taking as much of it into my mouth as I could and sucking it greedily. He followed suit immediately, thrusting his tongue into my center and plunging it in and out over and over. I moaned in pleasure around his cock, making him growl into me, causing a fabulous vibrating sensation.

"Mmmmmmm.....Carlisle, ugh........" I said as I pulled off him to take a breath.

"Baby....so good....aaaaaahhhhh...."

I brought both hands up to his firm ass and grabbed it, squeezing and pulling it closer to my face, pushing his cock further into my mouth. He groaned as I skimmed his length with my tongue, and then sucked in my cheeks, making a tight vacuum. He had been using both hands to trace the lines of my sides and legs, but now brought one up to my clit and began to apply pressure there. I sucked even faster in response, humming into his cock in a way that I knew would make vibrations just as his growl had to me.

"Soon, baby...oh god....so good...."

"Ooooohhhhh.....me....too....honey...mmmmmm..."

I bobbed my head down his length twice more before he groaned again.

"Baby, I want you to cum...I can't....wait...mmmmmmm"

He thrust one last time with his tongue into me and pinched my clit between his thumb and finger at the same time, sending me over the edge. I cried out his name, suddenly forgetting all our guests.

"OH GOD CARLISLE!!!!"

"Mmmmm...yeah baby....now!....move!....Uuuuggggghhhh! BELLLLLAAAAAAA!"

I moved away a second before his venom spurted out, landing on my breasts.

He laid his head down and relaxed for a moment before running to the bathroom and returning with a wet cloth to wipe us off. Discarding it onto the floor, he laid back down behind me, holding me close with my back flush against his chest. As I tried to get my heart rate and breathing back to normal, I couldn't help but think about what had just happened.

"That was really fucking hot," I said, laughing.

"Bella!" He cried, shocked I'm sure, since he'd never heard me use that word before.

"Well, it was!" I maintained.

He laughed. "Yeah, I know.... You are an amazing woman, Bella Swan, and I can't wait until you are my wife."

"I can't wait for that either," I replied, snuggling closer into him as he pulled the blankets over us. "Just three more days."

**A/N: Cold shower anyone?**


	40. 37 Gifts and Visits

Chapter 37: Gifts and Visits

BPOV

I looked at the clock for what must have been the hundredth time of the evening, and saw that I was now down to twenty-six hours of waiting for my wedding to begin. At the same moment, Alice announced that she was going to "allow" Carlisle and I the next two hours to be together before he was kicked out of the house for the night. We decided to spend our time in privacy, since we had planned to exchange our gifts tonight. We entered our room together, but each went our own way to retrieve the packages before meeting in the center of our bed.

"Bella," he began, "I can't even begin to express how thrilled I am to become your husband tomorrow. What's in this box is just a very small part of your gift. Unfortunately, you'll have to wait for the rest until the day after tomorrow, as it was simply inconvenient to bring it here."

I wondered for a moment at the riddle he had just given me, but decided that I should just open the box in front of me. Inside was a silver wedding cake charm to add to my bracelet, and I saw that tomorrow's date had been engraved onto it.

"It's perfect, Carlisle," I said, leaning forward to kiss him. "Thank you honey. And just so you know, this would have been enough. Now here, take yours. You also don't get your whole gift today - but you only have to wait until tomorrow for the rest."

He gave me a questioning look that I'm sure matched mine from earlier, but proceeded to open the package. He found the watch inside, and his eyes widened, as did his smile.

"Oh, sweetheart, it's absolutely wonderful!"

"Look at the back," I instructed.

He turned it over in his hands, and I saw him read the inscription. His smile became soft, and he reached up to cup my cheek in his hand, drawing my face to his to kiss me gently.

"Thank you, my love. I will wear it everyday."

"I love you more than I could ever say, Carlisle. Thank you, for choosing me, for marrying me, for making me the happiest woman on earth."

He brought his lips back to mine and kissed me adoringly, pulling me back down to the pillows with him. He continued kissing me for a moment before pulling his lips away and looking deep into my eyes.

"I have existed for so long, but you, Bella, you brought me to life. I am consumed by my love for you."

Bringing his lips back to mine, he kissed me softly for a moment before deepening the kiss, brushing his tongue along my lower lip. I opened for him, and his tongue came to meet mine, the two of them dancing slowly together as we held each other tightly, laying so close to each other that it seemed that we were only one body in the bed. There was no need, no hurry; only love between us.

We stayed that way for what could have been minutes or hours, I couldn't say. Each time we would break apart to breathe, we whispered words of love to each other before coming back together.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Knowing it was Alice, I sighed deeply, not quite ready to let Carlisle go. We sat up a bit in the bed, but did not let go of each other. Carlisle called for her to come in.

The door opened, and Alice entered, followed by Rosalie and my mother. Carlisle stood immediately, as he always does when a woman enters the room, but I stayed on the bed.

"Alice, is it time?" He asked.

"Yes. But before you leave, could you get the box that you brought back from the bank?"

He nodded, and went to his dresser to retrieve a small box from one of the drawers.

"Bella," my mom said, "it's traditional for the bride to have something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue on her wedding day. We all worked together to gather those things for you, and want to give them to you now, if that's alright."

"Ok," I agreed.

Carlisle took a step closer to me. "Sweetheart, I'm here standing in for Esme on this project. The ladies wanted the four items to come from the most important women in your life, and I suggested that Esme should be the fourth. I know that if she were here, she'd want you to have this."

He opened the box and showed be two beautiful gold and pearl hair combs. They were shaped like a large stem off of which grew clusters of golden flowers with pearls in their centers. I could tell immediately that they would make a perfect match with my dress. They looked so old and delicate, and I was absolutely speechless.

"These belonged to Esme. She wore them at our wedding. They are very old, antiques, in fact, from 1921."

He looked at me conspiratorially, and I understood his meaning - these were the combs that Esme wore _in_ 1921 when they married. I felt tears stinging in my eyes at the thought that I would wear them now, nearly ninety years later, at our wedding. Heartache wrenched in my chest at the thought that I wouldn't share this day with Esme - the day I married the man I loved most in all the world - and I couldn't stop the tears from falling.

"Now, now, sweetheart, please don't cry," he whispered, wiping away each tear as it fell.

"I just miss her so much," I breathed, my voice shaking and barely audible.

"She's here, remember?" He whispered, laying his hand over my heart. "She wouldn't miss this day for anything, I promise. You'll wear her combs in your hair and carry her love in your heart." He was rubbing circles on my back and stroking my hair, calming me.

"Thank you," I whispered. "For bringing me her combs, they mean so much to me. I love you so much."

Seeing that I had calmed down, he kissed me once more, this time with more passion than before, before standing. "I have to go now. The rest of this night is for the ladies and you. I'm leaving with the boys. I'll see you tomorrow, I'll be waiting for you under the arbor."

"I'll be the one in white," I said, smiling.

He walked toward the door, dropping my hand as he left the limits of my reach. "Goodnight, my love," he said as he closed the door behind him.

"Ok, I'm next," Alice said cheerfully. She opened the box she was holding and revealed a beautiful necklace. It was made of ivory, gold, crystals and pearls, and would match very well with the hair combs. I could see that it would fit close to my neck, and the flower design, set apart by groups of crystals, was a perfect match to the combs. "This is your something new. It will be perfect with your dress."

"Alice, it's gorgeous! Thank you so much," I said, hugging her tightly.

She stepped back in line and Rosalie stepped forward. "Ok, little sis, I was in charge of your something borrowed." She opened her box to reveal a lacy garter. "This is the garter I wore when I married Emmett, and I'll need it back when you're finished with it, ok?" She leaned forward to hug me and whispered in my ear. "I wear it every time I marry Emmett, so it's good luck."

Last was Renee. She opened her box to show me a pair of lacy sky blue panties with a little white bow on the front. "Something blue, baby girl, to finish off the tradition."

I hugged my mother tightly. "Thanks for supporting me, mom," I whispered.

"Ok, ladies. It's time for us to take Renee back to her hotel. We all have an early morning, you know..." Alice announced this as she shooed Rose and Renee towards the door. Then she came back to whisper in my ear. "Carlisle is out hunting with the boys. The ladies are going to come in after we leave to give you their own tips, wishes, what have you, before leaving to hunt as well. Charlotte, Siobhan and Maggie are not going out, though, as they have no need to hunt. They'll be your guards. When everyone else leaves, Charlotte will draw you a bath, and I want you to just relax, ok? Rose and I will be back in a while and we're going to spend the night with you. Love ya sis."

I settled myself on the couch, figuring it was the best place to stay with company about to come in. Tanya, Irina and Kate came first, and sat down on the floor in front of me.

"Bella," Tanya began. "I know we've had some bit of tension in the past, and I'm glad it's over. I can see you are a very good woman and you make Carlisle very happy. This is important. Sex is always good, but you can make him this happy without it, and that is what makes a marriage. I wish you good luck, cousin, with your forever."

Kate spoke next. "I just wanted to wish you luck tomorrow. I think you'll be very happy as a wife and as a vampire when that day comes. Just keep in mind that your mate is Dr. Carlisle Cullen, the man every woman in the hospital will always want. But I've seen him in action, even before he had any commitment to you - the man is wholly yours, Bella. Believe me, any man who will turn down a succubus in full pursuit will turn down anyone. You never need doubt him."

We all laughed and I thanked her for her words, as I really did appreciate hearing them. I knew that every woman we passed would always look twice at my husband. It was that way with Edward as well. I had no reason to mistrust him, but the reminder was nice anyways.

"Cousin, you have Carlisle's eyes on you constantly - that man wants you, it is obvious. I also can assume, from the noise I heard from your room last night that the man is a very passionate lover. You know that I am a succubus, so I have much experience with sex. So I want to warn you, the first time will hurt, but just remember to breathe. It will help. Also, if anyone can keep control, it is Carlisle, but if you see he is having some trouble, I find it helps to re-focus the hands, or teeth, as needed. Keep something near you that he can bite or hold in case the sensation becomes too much. This has served my sisters and I well in keeping human men alive in the past," said Irina.

I was blushing furiously at the mention of last night, embarrassed that they had all heard us, but I had to admit that Irina had given me good advice. I sincerely hoped it wouldn't be necessary. The three of them hugged me and then left the room. The door didn't have time to close between their visit and Carmen's entrance.

"Bella, dear, I want to be honest with you. Esme was one of the closest friends I've had in this long life. I loved her dearly, as a sister, and her loss was extremely difficult. For a long time, I was sure Carlisle would stay alone, and I wanted him to. I couldn't stand the thought of someone taking her place.

But then you came along and changed everything. If you had seen the light in his eyes when he came to Denali after seeing you in Scotland... We knew the world had altered for him. And seeing you with him, knowing how much you love him, I no longer see you as a replacement. You are your own unique person. You add something important to Carlisle's life, and to the whole family. You are a very special woman, and I'm happy to have you as a sister, if you'll take me."

I hugged her so hard that it would have hurt her if she was human, tears flowing from my eyes. Her words had meant so much to me, and I wanted her to know that.

"Carmen, from the first time I met you, at the memorial, I liked you. Part of me knew, even then, that there was something about you that was like Esme. I loved her dearly, believe me, and in the few times I've spent time with you, it's confirmed my initial thoughts that I want you in my family. I would love to be your sister."

We hugged again, and she wiped the tears from my cheeks as she pulled away. "You do realize, that even though you won't be mother to the rest, you will be the adult of this family now, as Carlisle's mate? And as my sister. The others call me "Auntie", you know. Things will change, after the wedding, but change doesn't have to be bad you know."

I laughed, and shook my head. "I have no idea how it will all work out, but we'll find a way, I'm sure."

She squeezed my hand one last time before leaving, wishing me pleasant dreams on her way.

She left, and I was lucky to have a moment to calm myself before Maggie bounced into the room with Siobhan trailing behind.

" 'ello Bella! I don't 'ave a mate meself, so I just want to say good luck to ya before ya get married tomorrow. I hope you will be very 'appy," Maggie said.

"I want to tell you, Bella, that I have known Carlisle for three hundred years, and I see you have changed him. He seems to have found something new inside of himself. You are good for him, and I'm glad he found you. Please always treat him as well as you do now," Siobhan said, her voice majestic.

I thanked them both as they left the room, and laughed inwardly at what an odd combination they seemed to make. Where Maggie was bouncy and excited and extremely friendly at all times, much like Alice, Siobhan was more proper and dignified, and not one to speak much at all. Siobhan's mere presence vastly overshadowed that of Maggie, but it seemed that the smaller girl made up for the difference in size with personality. It would be interesting to spend time with them and watch their interactions someday.

Charlotte was the last to come into the room, and went to the bathroom to prepare my bath before joining me on the couch. She put her arm around my shoulders and hugged me close.

"I wish you luck in your future. I feel sure, however, that it is not needed. I find myself a bit jealous, Bella. Here you are, a human, about to marry a vampire, which is amazing already. But the reason I'm jealous is actually your relationship with the whole family, especially Jasper. He is such a wonderful man, his power only makes him more caring than he would be already. I see how close all of you are, and it makes me wish that Peter and I had a family besides each other. So I advise to always appreciate your family, not just your mate."

"Thanks Charlotte. You know, Jasper speaks very highly of you and Peter, and I wanted to thank you personally for saving his life. I can't imagine what would have happened to him if he hadn't gotten away from Maria. Alice brought him to the Cullens, but you two brought him out of hell first. And I know I speak for all of us when I say how grateful we are to have him in our lives. And you and Peter are always welcome to be a part of our family, extended or otherwise."

"Coming from the woman of the house, that's a pretty significant offer," she said, smiling.

"Yes, as I've been reminded tonight, the youngest in the house has suddenly become the adult. Kinda strange."

"Just take it in stride, Bella. I can see you'll do just fine. Now go enjoy your bath before the water overflows the tub."

She patted me on the back and left me alone.

I soaked in the tub for awhile, lost in my thoughts. Once the water started to go cold, I decided to get out. I dried off and put on one of the pajama sets that Rose had given me. I was relaxed enough after the bath that I thought I might actually be able to sleep, which was good, because Alice would kill me if I had dark circles under my eyes tomorrow. I sat down at my vanity and began brushing out my hair.

When I finished, I looked down at the gifts on the top of my vanity and picked up Esme's combs, examining them more closely.

"They're beautiful, don't you think?"

I gasped, recognizing the voice immediately, and turned towards it slowly.

"Esme, you came," I said, smiling hugely at her. "I was hoping you would."

"Oh my dear, sweet daughter, of course I came. I wouldn't miss this for the world. I'm so glad Carlisle gave you the combs. They will be perfect in your hair."

"Thank you for this, mom, for being okay with this."

"Oh Bella, I'm more than okay with this. You make him so happy. I was afraid he never would be again. I can't thank you enough for giving him that. And the light in your eyes... I can see that you are deeply in love. That's all I want - for the two of you to be this happy."

"I miss you so much," I said, tears overflowing my eyes.

"As I do you, my darling girl. I'm so proud of the woman you've become. You will lead this family so well, Bella."

As much as my heart broke at her words, I felt pride at them as well.

"It should be you, Esme."

"No, dear girl, this is _your_ fate, not mine. I was meant to raise you all, to prepare you for what is to come. I was meant to be the mother. And never has a mother loved her children more, or been more proud of them, than I. I must tell you, though, my darling daughter, that this is the last time I can come back."

"No!" I cried, trying to reach out to her but finding nothing to grasp. "Why? I don't want you to go!"

My tears were falling freely, and I didn't try to stop them.

"Bella," she said, her hand reaching out to mine, letting me feel it's warmth though not it's weight. "Once you marry Carlisle tomorrow, he'll be whole again, and I'll have my peace. You'll all be ready to face the future, and my job will be complete. That's all I've been waiting for. I know you'll look after him, so I don't have to anymore."

"But I miss you so much already. I don't want you to go away. I need you."

"Don't you see, dear? You don't need me anymore. I stayed as long as you did. I'll be there tomorrow, watching you walk down the aisle to marry the man you love. You won't see me, but I will be there. And once I'm gone, you'll be just fine. You will be so happy, so loved. And I know that you will take care of Carlisle and the rest. You are the glue, sweet girl. You'll keep the Cullens whole. I couldn't leave my family in better hands than yours."

"We'll never forget you Esme."

"I know. Nor will I any of you. I love you, Bella. Get some rest now." She leaned down and placed a kiss on my forehead.

"I love you too, Mom," I said, reaching my hand out to meet hers one final time as she disappeared before me. I went over to my bed, sobbing, and laid down, hugging a pillow to me.

I don't know how long I cried. I cried sad tears, knowing that I had just seen Esme for the last time. I cried tears of joy that she was going to be in peace, that she was happy. I cried for all those that gave their lives that I might have tomorrow. Eventually two pair of cold arms wrapped around me from either side, nuzzling their heads against mine. I didn't open my eyes, but I recognized from their scents that they were my sisters. They never asked why I was crying, they simply held me until I fell asleep.

CPOV

I left Bella with her mother and sisters and walked out to the living room to gather the men for our hunt. Jasper and Emmett had decided that we should spend the night at Goat Rocks for some hunting and, in their words, "manly bonding". I was surprised to enter the room and find not only my sons and Eleazar, but also Garrett. I looked at him questioningly.

"What? I want to try it out. Kate doesn't think I can do it," he explained.

I hid my smile. I had noticed that he and Kate had spent quite a bit of time together since the Denali clan arrived, and wondered if there might be more to his hunting venture than merely a challenge.

The five of us piled into the Mercedes, and drove most of the way to Goat Rocks. The terrain closer to the area we prefer to hunt is not compatible with my car, however, so we parked off the road and ran the last few miles. Once we reached our usual spot, we stopped, and I addressed Garrett.

"Garrett, you've been a vampire for a long time, I know, but this kind of hunting is a bit different. Why don't we all stick together and watch Emmett take down his first bear, just so you can see how it's done? Then we can split up."

Emmett was overjoyed by the thought of putting on a show for us, and began sniffing the air. He picked up the scent of grizzly off to the east and started running, with the rest of us close behind. Watching Emmett hunt is always amusing, mostly because he enjoys playing with his food. I think it has something to do with his being attacked by a bear as a human, but he swears that an irritable grizzly tastes better than a regular one. At any rate, Garrett seemed to catch on quickly, and we all separated, promising to meet back at the rocks in two hours.

I ran for awhile, sniffing for something appetizing, when I caught the scent of a mountain lion. _Edward's favorite... _I couldn't deny that it smelled rather good, so I began to stalk it. A few moments later, I was sitting beside the carcass, enjoying the feeling of fresh blood in my system warming my body. I thought I'd let myself relax a few more minutes before cleaning up and looking for something else to hunt.

I was leaning up against a tree when the scent hit me - maple syrup and pears with a bit of brown sugar and cedar. I sat up straight, looking all around me for the source. It was a smell I knew well, a scent I would and could never forget. But there was no one around.

_Edward?_ I called out with my mind. Still nothing.

"Son?" I whispered, knowing that he should be able to hear me if his scent is that concentrated around me.

"Dad," replied the velvety voice of my first son.

I turned to my left, the direction from which the voice came, and saw him leaning against a tree, his arms folded, his bronze hair tousled as ever, smiling that damn crooked smile that he always used to charm.

"Edward," I said warmly, smiling at him.

"Big day tomorrow," he replied.

"Yes, it certainly is."

"Lucky man. You were right, you know."

"About what, son?"

"About everything. Everything you ever tried to convince me of that I refused to believe. About souls, about the afterlife, all of it. You were right."

My face lit up with wonder. Even though I believed it, hearing it confirmed was still rather amazing.

"Thank you, Carlisle."

"For what?"

"For saving me, for loving me like you did. For showing me the right way to live and never turning your back on me when I screwed up. You were a good father, Carlisle. I was lucky to have you."

His words warmed my un-beating heart. Edward had never been thrilled with life as a vampire, to say the least. Always convinced he was a soulless monster, he resented my changing him for a very long time. His forgiveness now, even after his death, still affected me.

"You were a good son too, Edward. I was just as lucky to have you."

"I have to thank you for something else too - Bella. You've made her so happy, Carlisle. You're giving her everything she ever wanted. Thank you for taking such good care of her, for not turning your back on her."

"You are just as responsible for that as I, Edward. It was you who saved her life, more than once."

"Yes, I gave her her life. And now you will give her eternity... I'm glad it's you, Dad. Really. She couldn't have found anyone better."

I could see his sincerity. I wondered if it was hard for him to say these words, to know that I loved the woman that was once his.

"I'll be at the wedding tomorrow, but you won't see me. This is the last time I can come. My job was to take care of Bella. Once she marries you tomorrow, I've finished my job, and I get to go have my peace. I'm ready for it. I'll miss you all so much, but you'll be happy, I know it. After everything, I can still say that it was worth it. I have no regrets."

"Thank you, Edward. For all you did for her, and for all of us. Thank you for sharing her with me. I will miss you greatly, my son."

He stood and walked toward me, kneeling down beside me and resting his hand upon my shoulder. I felt warmth course through me as it is were Bella's hand there.

"As I will miss you, dad. Congratulations on your marriage. I love you, both of you, and I'm truly glad that you will be happy together."

I watched as Edward vanished before my eyes, the warmth from his touch still lingering on my shoulder. I leaned back against the rock and sobbed tearlessly, both happy that I had seen him and brokenhearted that it would be the last time. I felt relief at the knowledge that all I believed was true, and that he would finally truly be at peace. My heart ached that he and Esme could no longer be with us, that they had to die for us to go on and for Bella and I to find this love. But above all that I felt, was hope. Hope for the future, with Bella by my side. The woman who was the light in my darkness, who taught me how to live, would tomorrow, and for the rest of eternity, be my wife. What was there to feel but hope?

Eventually, I got up from my spot in the trees and started running in search of more game. After taking down two deer, I decided that I had probably been gone long enough, and started back toward the rocks. I found my companions waiting for me there, Eleazar and Garrett laughing at my sons, who were wrestling in the grass. They stopped when they heard my approach and jumped up to greet me.

"We thought you might have snuck off to see Bella... What took you so long?" Emmett asked.

"Just had some dinner and took some time to clear my head, that's all. So is _this_ the manly bonding you spoke of?"

"No, we were just messing around while we waited. The manly bonding is starting now, when we all sit around and talk about our ladies..." Jasper said, a hint of teasing in his voice.

Before I could respond, I felt a wave of lightheartedness and playfulness hit me, and I ran straight for Eleazar, crashing into him and tumbling to the ground. Anyone who knew us and witnessed this would probably laugh - Eleazar and I were known as the dignified and proper patriarchs of our families, not the ones who wrestled in fields. Garrett quickly dropped onto both of us, and before I knew it, all five of us were rolling in the grass, laughing hilariously, young men rather than centuries old vampires for a night.

Around eleven the next morning, as Emmett teased Jasper for acting more like Alice than himself (this was my own fault, as I was emitting so much excitement for my wedding that was only hours away that my poor son was practically skipping around the field), I suggested we return to the house to shower and dress.

"Thank you all so much for last night. I know it was far from a traditional bachelor party, but we are far from traditional in general, I think. Last night was wonderful, and I was thrilled to have spent it laughing with my friends. But I do believe it is time to go home... I have a woman to marry in a few hours!"

My friends and my sons clapped me on the back and we all started running, toward the car, and toward my bride.


	41. 38 Ready to Go

**A/N: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me. I'm sure you are shocked.**

**Part 2 of Wedding Day begins now.**

Chapter 38: Ready to Go

BPOV

I woke up fairly late the next morning, surprisingly without Alice's help, although the pixie was still laying in bed with me.

"Happy Wedding Day!!!!" She and Rose chorused as soon as I opened my eyes.

I smiled hugely. _It's here! It's finally here! _I hugged them both to me tightly. "Thanks girls."

"You're welcome! Now, we have to get you out of bed and fed, because we have lots to do today!" Alice sang.

I looked at the clock and saw that it was 8:45. "Alice, the wedding is not for another nine hours! We cannot possibly need to start getting ready already!"

"Weeeellll....."

"Alice?" I asked sternly.

"Don't worry, Bella," Rose interrupted. "If we start this early, you can take your time and we won't be rushing. Come on, let's just worry about breakfast for now."

Alice jumped up and made for the kitchen, but Rosalie stayed behind and looked me in the eye. "Sis, if you need to talk about whatever upset you last night, you know you can talk to me, right?"

I put my hand on her arm and squeezed it gently. "I know Rose, and thanks. I'm okay, really. It was the combs - they just reminded me that mom and Edward are gone for good, and it hit me kind of hard. I figured it was better to get all of the tears out last night than it would be to cry today and let Alice murder me for ruining my makeup," I finished, smiling.

It was mostly true. I really didn't want to share that I had actually _seen_ and talked to Esme. That was my special moment with her, and that was how I wanted it to remain. And it was difficult to accept that they would really be gone forever after today. It was strange to me, but several weeks ago I had come to a realization: I could miss Edward and Esme, and I would always, I knew that, but I no longer wished that things would have gone differently. I mean that, as much as I miss them both and wish we hadn't lost them, I would not have Carlisle if we hadn't. And while I am sure that Edward and I could have been happy together, I can no longer imagine a life without Carlisle - I am certain that this is the man I was destined for. So I was walking down the aisle today, missing loved ones, but knowing that I was where I belonged. I really was okay.

"Alright, let's go then," Rosalie replied, pulling me toward the kitchen.

The three of us were joined in the kitchen by Carmen and Charlotte, and together we all made my breakfast - fruit salad, scrambled eggs, turkey sausage links and cinnamon toast. While I ate, Alice and Carmen discussed how to manage the decorations, guests and bride in addition to getting themselves ready. It was finally decided that Alice would lead a team of Charlotte and Maggie to finish all the decorating and set up, and Kate would be in charge of receiving deliveries. At the same time, Carmen and Rosalie would be in charge of my early preparations (shower and hair) and entertaining me. I was not going to be allowed out of Alice's bedroom until I walked down the aisle, as Alice didn't want me to see the decorations until they were finished.

The butterflies in my stomach were already fluttering as I stepped out of the shower and into my robe thirty minutes later. They weren't nervous butterflies at all - the only thing I was feeling was excitement. I found Rose and Carmen waiting for me in the bedroom, chatting amiably. As I walked in, they both stood, and Carmen spread out a blanket on the bed.

"Come lie down, _mi hermana_, so that we can give you a nice massage to help you relax," Carmen said in her sweet bell-like voice.

I followed her instructions, glad that my towel was still wrapped around me under my robe. I don't deny that the hot stone massage at the spa two days ago was fabulous, but a massage by a vampire? Wow. When they finished nearly an hour later, my entire body felt like jello. I didn't feel like I could move, so I just lay there.

Two hours later, naked, but covered by a blanket, Rosalie's gentle nudging and soft urging woke me from a peaceful slumber. I looked up at her and smiled.

"Thanks for the nap, sis."

"I figured you could use it. We still have plenty of time anyways, don't worry. Carmen and I helped Alice and the decoration crew finish setting up, so even the little wedding pixie has remained calm about your nap."

I sat up, pulling the blanket around me as I rose, and excused myself for a human moment. When I came back in, I found Carmen sitting in Alice's makeup chair while Rosalie worked on her hair. My newest sister, being of Spanish descent, had such an exotic look as a vampire, with her pale, olive-toned skin and flowing black hair. Rosalie was arranging her hair into large curls when I walked in, and I sat watching as Rose arranged the curls into a low ponytail, and then attached two strips of fuschia ribbon near her temples and wound them all the way through her hair until they trailed out from the band with Carmen's curls. It was intricate, but simple at the same time.

"Wow, Rose. It looks really beautiful," I exclaimed. "Carmen, I can't wait to see it with your dress - you'll be amazing."

"Don't worry, I won't upstage the bride," she teased warmly.

I grinned. "I'm so glad that I get to share this day with all of my sisters."

Carmen stood and hugged me tightly, then excused herself to get dressed. Rosalie handed me one of Carlisle's button down shirts and a pair of shorts for me to put on until it was time to get into my dress.

"Alright, put this on for now, and once you're ready, Alice will bring up your lunch so you can eat while we get our own hair ready. When you're finished, it'll be time for yours."

I enjoyed my lunch, which luckily was light, as my butterflies had returned in full force and I was way too excited to eat. Alice and Rosalie had finished their hair, and both looked amazing. Alice had arranged her usual wild spikes into perfect pin curls, and Rosalie's long golden waves had been pulled back in a french braid that was tied off at the nape of her neck, from where curls flowed to the middle of her back. They both looked very glamorous.

By the time they set me in the chair, I was down to four hours of waiting, which was manageable, though I knew a dose of Jasper's gift would not be unwelcome at this point. Alice and Rosalie, each armed with a curling iron and a bottle of hair spray, were working side by side on my hair when a knock at the door announced Carmen's return with my mother in tow. Renee immediately began gushing over what a wonderful job the girls had done with the decorations, and how lovely everything was going to be. I felt my heart warm a bit at how excited she seemed about the wedding, given all her initial misgivings about my relationship.

When the girls finally finished my hair forty minutes later, it was amazing. They had pulled back and secured small bits from the front, letting them trail down my back, and Esme's combs were each in place in a section of hair that was clipped up. The rest of my hair was hanging in medium-sized curls, with a few pieces framing my face.

From there, Alice immediately started in on my makeup, while Rosalie did her own. She did a wonderful job, so that I barely looked like I was wearing any makeup when she finished, but instead looked like an improved version of my usual self, though perhaps a bit more sparkly than usual. I smiled inwardly at the idea of the sparkles, seeing as how I wasn't too long away from sparkling of my own accord.

Once we were all ready except for our dresses, we still had an hour left, so we sat around to chat for a bit.

"So are our men ready?" I asked.

"Yes, they came back about two hours ago, and they are all dressed and ready to go," Alice replied.

"How does he look?" I asked, knowing she'd know who I meant.

"You won't be disappointed, I promise," she said, grinning.

"I can't wait any longer Alice!"

"You don't have too....it's time to get into your dress!"

I was dressed and ready to go when Alice dragged me over to stand in front of the mirror, which she had covered with my robe earlier. She removed it so that I could see myself, and I gasped. I knew that I loved my dress, but seeing it all together was simply amazing. I barely recognized myself in the mirror!

My dress was a trumpet-style fit, ivory with a flower-pattern in beaded lace all over the dress. It had a deep v-neck with cap sleeves and an empire waist, and only a small train in the back. Alice's necklace and Esme's combs, as I suspected, were a perfect match to the lace of my dress. I was wearing kitten-heeled ivory sandals, and my hair and makeup complimented the look perfectly.

"Oh Alice! It's exactly right!" I exclaimed.

"Baby girl, you look exquisite!" My mom squealed.

Rosalie and Alice came and stood on either side of me. A memory flashed through my head from when I first agreed to marry Edward - I had been terrified of being the bride and standing next to the two of them... Afraid that I could never measure up to them. Today, they would both serve as my bridesmaids, dressed in matching gold silk dresses, with a similar neckline to mine, and a thick beaded band around the empire waist. And while they still obviously possessed that inhuman, ethereal beauty, I felt comfortable standing with them - like we all belonged together. Maybe that was because I finally believed that we did.

Alice sent Carmen downstairs to find Charlie and our flowers, and Renee snapped some pictures of Alice, Rose and I together while we waited. When Carmen returned with Charlie, she took Renee by the arm after one last hug and led her downstairs, saying it was time to take their seats. Charlie turned to me and his eyes went wide.

"Is that you, Bells?" he whispered.

"It's me, Dad."

"I've never seen you look more beautiful. Are you all ready?"

"Thank you Dad. And yes, I couldn't be more ready."

Charlie handed my sisters their bouquets - small clusters of cream colored roses, and then gave me mine - a larger cluster of the same roses, intermingled with lilies. Once his hands were free, I took a moment to take in his appearance - it was the first time I'd ever seen my father really dressed up.

"Dad, you look very handsome."

"In this monkey suit?" He grumbled, gesturing at his tuxedo.

"Yeah, Dad. Sue will love it," I teased, grinning at him.

"Alright you two, it's time to go," Alice proclaimed, remember, you wait until I arrive at my spot in front of the arbor before you come down the stairs, okay?"

"Gotcha Alice."

Rosalie walked out the door first, followed by Alice. Charlie turned to me, then, his hands clasping my upper arms. "You're going to be real happy, you and Carlisle. I'm glad I get to be a part of that for you. You've made me so proud, kiddo, and I just want to tell you that I love you. Now let's get going, because that fiancee of yours lost all patience with waiting for you hours ago."

I laughed lightly, and kissed Charlie on the cheek. "Thanks Dad, I love you too."

And with that, my father led me toward the stairs.

CPOV

When we returned from our trip to Goat Rocks, we all went to our rooms to shower before my sons met me back in Bella and my room, at the direction of Alice, to dress. She had laid our tuxedos out on the bed. Mine was a traditional black tie, while the boys were both wearing gold vests and ties with theirs.

Once we were all dressed, the photographer came in and asked us to join her outside for some pictures. That occupied nearly an hour, which was a relief, because I was extremely restless already. It had been twenty-three hours since I had seen Bella, and I felt a physical ache to be near her again. I began pacing around the bedroom as soon as the photographer freed us, and despite Jasper throwing me wave after wave of calm, I could not relax. I was not nervous in the slightest, only excited. I was down to the last minutes before I could call Bella my wife, and I was barely keeping myself in the room.

A knock at the door announced Charlie's arrival, and I opened it to greet him.

"How are you doing, son?" He asked, smiling widely.

It seemed very strange that this man should call me son, what with my being more than three hundred years his senior, and his belief that I was merely a few years his junior, but, physically, at least, he _was _old enough to be my father. The term, however, thrilled me to no end. It was a sign of his acceptance and his joy on this day.

"I'm anxious, Charlie. I'm anxious to see your beautiful daughter walk down the aisle."

"It'll all be just fine, Carlisle, not too much longer now. Have a bit of patience."

Jasper snorted behind us, and I glared at him.

"Thanks, Charlie. I'll try my best."

Carmen walked in a moment later to take Charlie upstairs, instructing the boys and I to get out into the living room right away. I nearly ran in at vampire speed I was so eager for the wedding to begin. But there were too many human guests present to make such a mistake, and I knew that it wouldn't hurry Bella along anyway.

Making my way into what used to be the living room, I gasped when I saw that Alice had transformed it into a wedding paradise. Garlands of white roses and lilies hung in rows across the ceiling, intertwined with colorless lights. A garland of the same composition was would into the banister of the staircase. The stairs themselves, as well as the aisle, were strewn with white rose petals. The room was full of chairs, all of which were covered with white satin tied with a gold bow. I looked toward the front of the room and found the arbor under which Bella and I would say our vows - it was made of a light-colored wood, perhaps beech, and stood about eight feet high. More fairy lights and a garland were woven through its planks. The lights of the room had been dimmed somewhat, but the room remained well lit thanks to nearly a hundred candles burning along the walls.

Slowly, I made my way up the aisle and stood under the arbor, looking back into the room. Most of the chairs were already filled by our guests. I could see the entire La Push pack and their imprintees, as well as Billy Black, who was seated in the second row next to Seth Clearwater. I saw Angela Weber and her fiancee, whose name Bella told me was Ben. Our vampire guests were all seated on the opposite side of the room. The front row on one side held Renee and Phil, as well as Sue Clearwater, and one empty seat, which I knew was for Charlie. On the other side, the front row held Carmen and Eleazar, as well as two seats left empty. On one sat a small bouquet of day lilies, and on the other a small bouquet of freesias. I knew immediately that Alice had set these seats aside in memory of Esme and Edward, and I smiled toward them, remembering Edward's promise to be present for the ceremony.

I took a moment then to remember the two family members I lost. I thought of Esme and how much I had loved her for so many years. It was a love that I could never deny, not even today. But somehow, not in spite of that love, but perhaps because of it, I was standing under this arbor today to marry the woman who I am sure I am meant to be with forever. I thought of Edward, the son that I will always miss, who brought Bella into our lives, who fought the strongest craving imaginable to keep her safe, and who risked, and ultimately lost, his existence to protect her. While I cannot understand the path that had to be taken to reach this day - the lives that had to be lost along the way still haunt me - I do not regret that it has arrived. Last night I said my goodbyes, I accepted the reality of fate, and I know, with all certainty, that marrying Bella is not the right choice, but the only choice I could make. I cannot live without her, for it is she who makes me alive.

A moment later, Pastor Weber joined me under the arbor, and I felt the presence of my sons behind me. Jasper released one last wave of calm, which I accepted gratefully, despite knowing its effects would not linger long.

Finally, the string quartet, seated in the back of the room under the curve of the staircase, began to play the first chords of Pachelbel's Cannon in D. I looked up to the staircase in anticipation. It was time.

**A/N: Ok, please do not murder me... I know I'm a big tease right now. But look, the song is playing, Bella's at the top of the staircase, you know it's coming in the next chapter. For real this time. The wedding ceremony is NEXT.**


	42. 39 To Join this Man and this Woman

**A/N: Stephenie Meyer is the creative genius who invented these characters. I am just loving changing their story.**

**Thank you all so much for your "patience" in waiting for this chapter. I know I have tortured you for seven chapters - a whole week - to get to this point, but I promise it was all necessary for the sake of the story. Not to mention it was pretty fun, lol. **

**I recommend opening another window and clicking the link on my profile for the youtube video of Pachelbel's canon - the version I picked fits seamlessly with my reading speed for Bella's trip down the aisle, and, at least in my opinion, really adds to the ambiance of the chapter. ;)**

**So, with absolutely NO further adieu...**

Chapter 39: To Join This Man and This Woman

CPOV

The first notes of Pachelbel's Canon in D were played by the cellist, bringing my attention to the stairs. With the first pulls of the bow across the strings of the violin, Rosalie entered our view, looking graceful and beautiful as ever, the gold silk of her dress flowing over her form as she glided toward us. She smiled warmly at me, her eyes sparkling with true happiness, a feeling I am sure to have echoed in my own.

She was followed by Alice, whose movements resembled a dance as she neared the arbor. Her pixie face held joy unrestrained, a wide grin played at her lips. She had known much longer than Bella and I that this day would come, that our love was undeniable. I knew I owed much to both her and Jasper for helping me find such happiness.

I felt the warmth of a wave of joy wash over me, as Jasper shared the feelings of my entire family amongst us. This day marked a new beginning for not only Bella and I, but for the Cullens as a family. It was strange to look back on the time before we moved to Forks, before we met Bella, because it seemed a different life entirely. Not only because Edward and Esme were now gone, but for what she had brought to us. With Bella in our lives, we were more a family than we had ever been before. She held us together when we would have fallen apart. And she kept us together too. Her humanity had brought back our own.

As Alice reached her spot to the side of the arbor, the music began to rise in a crescendo. At that moment, had my heart still been beating, it surely would have stopped.

Bella stepped out from the shadows, on Charlie's arm, and they made their way down the stairs. The joy sounding in the music reflected that which overflowed from my heart. The room ceased to exist. All those in attendance ceased to exist. There was only Bella, angelic in her ivory gown, surrounded by a white halo of light, more beautiful than I had ever seen her before. Her face was glowing with love as each step brought her closer to me, to our life together as husband and wife, to our eternity. I did not move, I did not breathe. I only gazed at the beauty before me.

BPOV

I watched as Rosalie and Alice walked down the stairs and toward the arbor before me, noticing how their steps were timed perfectly with the beat of the music. As Alice neared the arbor, I looked up at my father.

"It's time, kiddo," he whispered.

"Don't let me fall, Dad."

"I won't, I promise."

We heard the music rise in volume, our cue to appear. We stepped into the light, and I saw our guests rise to welcome me. Charlie and I stepped down onto the first of the seventeen steps, and I felt a warmth on my left arm. I looked to the side and though I saw nothing, I smiled. Turning back towards the stairs, I watched them carefully as my father guided me down with more grace than either of us had previously possessed.

Once we reached the floor, I allowed myself to look up. For a fleeting moment, I took in the room I was in - Alice had truly outdone herself. It was magnificent.

But as I looked, I caught sight of the one I wanted to see - Carlisle, in his tuxedo, bathed in a glow of white light, looking more handsome than any model, any movie star, any mere mortal has ever looked. He was ethereal in his beauty, like my own personal god awaiting me. The room, the guests, my siblings who stood at his side - everything but Carlisle disappeared. I saw him there, smiling gloriously at me, nothing but joy and love in his expression.

I wanted to run to him, to throw my arms around him and kiss him thoroughly. But I walked, Charlie assisting me in keeping the correct pace, as I could barely even register that music was playing over the all-encompassing vision of Carlisle before me.

I walked towards the beautiful man who was moments away from being my husband, the joy in my heart overflowing. Our eyes were locked, never leaving each other's as I neared him. I could see the happiness in his eyes, equal to my own. We had waited so long - our whole lives - for this moment. I knew we were exactly where we belonged. And it was perfect.

Finally, we reached our stopping point, just in front of the arbor, and I heard Pastor Weber speak in his kind, low-pitched voice.

"Who brings this woman here to marry this man?" He asked.

"I do," came my father's voice, tinged with sadness and pride, from beside me.

Charlie leaned down and kissed me gently on the cheek, squeezing my hand one last time before taking it and placing it in Carlisle's. I could see the tears in his eyes as he stepped away from me to take his seat.

In the same moment, I felt the warmth on my arm begin to fade, and I looked once again to my left side. "Thank you, Edward. I'll miss you," I whispered as quietly as possible, before turning back to Carlisle.

CPOV

As Charlie placed Bella's hand in mine, I heard her whisper her thanks to Edward. I assumed that he must have walked her down the aisle, giving her to me, saying his final goodbye. I smiled warmly in the direction of the two empty chairs, whispered my thanks and a last loving goodbye to them both, and turned back to Bella. It was time for us to begin.

Pastor Weber began to speak:

"We are gathered here today to celebrate one of life's greatest moments, to give recognition to the worth and beauty of love, and to cherish the words which will join this man and this woman in marriage. You have come here to share in this formal commitment they make to one another, to offer your love and support to this union, and to allow Carlisle and Bella to start their married life surrounded by those dearest and most important to them.

So welcome to one and all, who have traveled from near and far. Carlisle and Bella thank you for your presence today, and now ask for your blessing, encouragement, and lifelong support, for their decision to be married.

Carlisle and Bella, you have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes to this one, indeed you have been making promises and agreements in an informal way.

All those conversations were held riding in a car or over a meal or during long walks - all those sentences that began with 'When we're married' and continued with 'I will and you will and we will' - those late night talks that included 'someday' and 'somehow' and 'maybe' - and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart.

All those common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding. The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, 'you know all those things we've promised and hoped and dreamed - well, I meant it all, every word'.

Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another - acquaintance, friend, companion, and even teacher. Now you shall say a few words that take you across the threshold of life, and things will never quite be the same between you. For after these vows, you shall say to the world, this is my husband, this is my wife."

I heard all of his words, capturing them in my infallible memory to preserve for eternity. I was so filled with joy at that moment that it seemed I could burst. My eyes, since the moment we had met under the arbor, had not left Bella's. I submerged myself into the deep chocolate pools and found myself drowning in the love she expressed there. I could feel my smile pulling at the muscles in my face and briefly wondered if I looked like a fool, but it did not matter. I could not help but smile at the lovely woman before me. I gently squeezed her hands, trying to contain myself until the moment that I could kiss her full, soft lips - the moment she was my wife.

Pastor Weber called Eleazar forward to perform the first reading. He stood to the side of Rosalie and Alice and began to recite, in his lovely textured voice which still held traces of his upbringing in Spain, The Key to Love.

_"The key to love is understanding..._

_as it is the little things that say so much by themselves._

_The key to love is forgiveness... _

_to accept each other's faults and pardon mistakes._

_The key to love is sharing..._

_Sharing and facing your good fortunes as well as the bad, together;_

_both conquering problems, forever searching for ways_

_to intensify your happiness._

_The key to love is giving... _

_Giving without thought of return,_

_but with the hope of just a simple smile, _

_and by giving in but never giving up._

_The key to love is respect..._

_Respect realizing that you are two separate people, with different ideas;_

_that you don't belong to each other,_

_that you belong with each other, and share a mutual bond._

_The key to love is inside us all..._

_It takes time and patience to unlock all the ingredients_

_that will take you to its threshold;_

_it is the continual learning process that demands a lot of work..._

_but the rewards are more than worth the effort ... _

_and that is the key to love."_

Eleazar grinned at me as he passed back to his seat, a knowing grin that said "I told you so", but also "I'm happy for you". I was glad he had reason to say both.

Pastor Weber called Renee to the front then, for the second reading, a sonnet that Bella and I had chosen together. She stood behind me, to the side of Jasper and Emmett, and began to recite.

_"Let me not to the marriage of true minds _

_admit impediments. Love is not love_

_which alters when it alteration finds,_

_or bends with the remover to remove:_

_Oh, no! It is an ever-fix'd mark. _

_That looks on tempests and is never shaken;_

_it is the star to every wandering bark,_

_whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken._

_Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks_

_within his bending sickle's compass come;_

_love alters not with his brief hours and weeks. _

_but bears it out even to the edge of doom._

_If this be error and upon me prov'd,_

_I never writ, nor no man ever love'd."_

I heard Renee return to her seat between Charlie and Phil, but did not see, as I refused to look away from Bella. I could feel the anticipation growing within me as I knew it was time for us to make our vows to each other. We had written them ourselves, keeping them a closely guarded secret from each other, and I was eager to hear hers and see her response to mine.

Pastor Weber spoke again, addressing Bella and me.

"We've come to the point of your ceremony where you're going to say your vows to one another. But before you do that, I ask you to remember that love - which is rooted in faith, trust, and acceptance - will be the foundation of an abiding and deepening relationship. No other ties are more tender, no other vows more sacred than those you now assume. If you are able to keep the vows you take here today, not because of any law, but out of a desire to love and be loved by each other fully, without limitation, then your life will have joy and the home you establish will be a place of peace.

Carlisle, I ask that you begin by reciting your chosen piece and your vows to Bella."

Bella turned and handed her bouquet to Alice, and then faced me again, joining her hands with mine. I looked into her eyes, ensuring that she could see that each word I spoke came directly from my heart.

"The hours I spend with you I look upon as a sort of a perfumed garden, a dim twilight, and a fountain singing to it... you and you alone make me feel that I am alive... Other men, it is said, have seen angels, but I have seen thee, and thou are enough.

Bella, I stand here before you today, a man deeply in love. We have been through much together - times of both happiness and hardship, love and anger - all bringing us to this place, this moment. We have shared tender caresses and passionate kisses. We have held each other in times of both sadnesses and desire, comforted each other in the face of great loss. We have shared times of great joy together, seen beauty created by both man and God, danced together in ballrooms and under the setting sun. And still we have many more experiences to share together.

With you by my side, I have found excitement and joy in life, I have found enjoyment in things I had previously overlooked. In you, I have found the greatest treasure, my own piece of heaven. But above all else, I have found peace and hope and a reason to exist. You have made me happier than any one man deserves to be.

For all this, I asked you to be my wife. In return, I make you these promises:

I will stand by your side for eternity, never wavering in my love for you. In times of both ease and hardship, you will find me your constant companion, your support, your partner. I will care for you and protect you from any danger that comes our way. I will love and cherish you with tenderness and undying devotion. I will never fail to treat you with respect. You will hear only honest words from me, and I will always give you my trust, as well as reason to trust me. As time passes us by, you will find me always true to the commitment I make to you today, for there is none other for me but you. On this day, I promise you, Bella, that as long as I exist, I will love you, and I will be yours."

As I spoke these words, my voice wavered with emotion. I could see the tears falling freely down Bella's cheeks, heard her heart as it quickened in its pace. She opened her mouth to begin her recitation, her voice breaking once before she began to speak.

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of being and ideal grace.

I love thee to the level of every day's

Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for right.

I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

in my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

Carlisle, ours has been a love story that was unconventional. It was not a story that has been written before, nor told in legends. But it has been a story of a love that could not be denied, could not be refused, no matter how hard we tried. It is the story of a love that found us unaware and consumed us, that wakened and filled our hearts and that made us whole. But most importantly, it is the story of a love that will last forever.

You have been so many things to me since we met - a guide, a leader, a teacher, a protector, an encourager, a friend, a confidante, a shoulder to cry on. More recently, you have been the object of my desire, the reason for my smiles, the bright spot in my days, the man that I love.

You showed me that I was valued, and taught me to value myself. When you look at me, I feel beautiful. When you speak to me, I feel respected and intelligent. When you touch me, I feel loved and desired.

You are handsome, kind, gentle, compassionate, intelligent and romantic. Standing next to you, I know that I am exactly where I was meant to be.

For all that you give to me in your love, I make these promises to you:

I will be your wife, your friend, forever. I will honor and respect you, cherish and love you. I will listen to you when you speak and share my thoughts with you as well. I will be patient and understanding. I will face every challenge that comes before us standing beside you. I will never fail you, never lie to you, never harm you, never dishonor you, never betray you. I will give you every bit of myself while not losing who the essence of who I am. I will make our home a place of peace, and I will find my home wherever you are. I will always be there to comfort you and to love you. On this day, Carlisle, I give you my heart, my life, my love, forever."

If vampires had the ability to cry, I knew that my tears would flow as freely as hers at her words. My heart was warmed and my soul deeply touched by her vows to me.

Pastor Weber reached out to Jasper, who handed him our wedding bands.

"The wedding ring is a symbol of unity, a circle unbroken, without beginning or end. Today, Carlisle and Bella give and receive these rings as demonstrations of their vows to make their lives one, and to love each other without end.

Carlisle, take the ring which you have selected, and place it on Bella's hand, repeating after me. This ring, a gift for you, is a symbol of my desire that you be my wife from this day forward."

I repeated his words as I slid the platinum band onto her tiny finger, smiling joyously as I did.

"Bella, take the ring which you have selected, and place in on Carlisle's hand, repeating after me. This ring, a gift for you, is a symbol of my desire that you be my husband from this day forward."

She took my cold hand in hers and pushed a matching band onto my ring finger. I reveled in the weight of it there.

Our hands still joined, our eyes still shining brightly, we listened again to Pastor Weber.

"Today is a day you will always remember - the greatest in your lives. You started off the day just two people in love, and end it as husband and wife. It's a brand new beginning, the start of a journey, with moments to cherish and treasure. You'll have heard many words of advice in the past, when the secrets of marriage and love were spoken, but now you know that the answers lie hidden inside, where the bond of true love lies unbroken. So live happy forever as lovers and friends. At this moment, the sun sets on your past, and brings in the dawn of a new life for you. As you stand there together with love in your eyes, know that tomorrow can bring you the greatest of joys, but today is the day it all begins.

Carlisle and Bella, your vows may have been spoken in minutes, but your promises to each other will last as long as you do. Having witnessed your vows of marriage with all those assembled here, and with the authority placed in me by the state of Washington, I announce with great joy that you are now husband and wife.

Carlisle, you may kiss your bride."

With his words, the greatest joy I had ever experienced enveloped me. I could tell that Jasper had absorbed and reflected back all the love and happiness that Bella and I were feeling at that moment, and it was an all-encompassing warmth that shrouded us as I took her face between my hands and brought her lips to mine. I filled the kiss with every bit of love and passion that was in me, holding her close to my chest as her fingers wound themselves into my hair.

I might have continued kissing her forever had it not been for Emmett clearing his throat, reminding us exactly where we were. I pulled my face back from hers, smiling happily into her face, which smiled back at me with just as much enthusiasm.

"It is with great pleasure that I introduce to all of you, for the first time, Dr and Mrs Carlisle Cullen."

The chords of Vivaldi's Spring began to play their excited tune as our guests stood and applauded our marriage. With much exuberance, I took Bella by the hand and led her back down the aisle, away from the arbor under which we were married, and toward the rest of our lives.

**A/N: Ok, that was the wedding. What did you think? Was it all you hoped for? Many of you thought that Edward and Esme would be seen again this chapter, but remember their words - they would be there but not seen. As for Jacob, there's a reason he didn't make it. You'll find out someday....**

**The readings in the wedding were as follows:**

**The Key to Love, author unknown**

**Sonnett 116, William Shakespeare**

**"The hours I spend with you..." quote from George Moore**

**"How do I love thee?" poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning**

*****Next up: the reception. I am probably already on a 17 hour journey back to America today. I will make you a deal though. I put a lot of work into this chapter and you have been BEGGING for it for weeks. If you'll hook me up with, say, 20 reviews, by the time I have to leave for the airport, I'll go ahead and post the reception before I leave. If not, you'll have to wait until late Sunday night or early Monday, depending on how exhausted I am when I arrive. Up to you...**


	43. 40 The Reception

**A/N: Thanks to Stephenie Meyer who created such fabulous characters. If only there were real men like her vampires...**

**Thanks to all who reviewed thus far, especially on the last chapter. There were several people who reviewed for the first time, and I just want to say thank you. I appreciate all feedback!**

**Now, as promised, your early update. I leave for the airport in one hour. See how much I love you?**

Chapter 40: The Reception

BPOV

We walked back down the aisle together after being announced as Dr and Mrs Carlisle Cullen - definitely the best moment of my life so far - and Carlisle led me into the kitchen. I could still hear the string quartet playing the joyous notes of Vivaldi as my husband - _wow, that is amazing to say_ - crashed his lips into mine, his kiss filled with intensity and enthusiasm. I returned his kiss fervently, opening my mouth to him so that his tongue could enter. The kiss we shared was impassioned, our tongues dancing together, following each rise and fall of the music that played behind us as if choreographed, while we held tightly to each other, pressing our bodies as close as possible.

When the song ended, we pulled our lips apart as I gasped for air. Carlisle pressed several more soft kisses against my mouth and then smiled.

"Have I told you how incredibly beautiful you look tonight, sweetheart?"

"No, you haven't. Have I mentioned how amazingly gorgeous you look?"

"I love you, Mrs. Cullen," he said lovingly.

"As I love you, Dr. Cullen."

"That sounds wonderful, doesn't it? Listen, my love: Mrs. Isabella Cullen. It's the most wonderful sound I've ever heard!"

I smiled warmly at my husband's enthusiasm. I was thrilled to see the joy he was feeling, as it reflected my own. I pressed my lips back to his, kissing him gently. Suddenly, several cold arms and hard bodies were pressing against me from all directions - my siblings, who had followed us back down the aisle and into the kitchen, had converged upon us in a massive Cullen family hug. I heard all of them congratulating us simultaneously, and grinned in response.

When I was finally released, I turned to the wedding pixie. "Alice, this was the most beautiful, perfect wedding I ever could have dreamed of. I will never be able to thank you enough. I love you!"

She hugged me tightly in response. "No need, sis. I'm glad that I could do it for you. Seeing how happy the two of you are today, that's the best gift of all. But... If you insist on some sort of thank you gesture, I wouldn't say no to a shopping trip to New York when you return from your honeymoon - just you and me and Rosalie."

"Consider it done!"

Well over an hour later, the photographer FINALLY finished with the formal poses. It was lucky that I was so ridiculously happy, as I otherwise would certainly not have been capable of smile for such an extraordinarily long time. But as it was, I couldn't stop smiling, even after she finished with our pictures.

Alice directed us to wait for two minutes, when we would be announced once again, to enter the backyard.

Carlisle and I stood together, kissing near the glass wall of the house, until we heard Emmett's booming voice over all the others in attendance.

"Can I have your attention everyone? It's time for us all to welcome, for the first time as husband and wife, Carlisle and Bella Cullen!"

I grinned again at the sound of my new name, and saw my husband beaming as well. He slipped his hand into mine and we walked out the back door to the thunderous applause and whistles and cheers of our guests. We were immediately surrounded, being offered congratulatory remarks and hugs. I felt the cold embraces of our vampire guests which contrasted sharply with the hot arms of the pack embracing us. In the middle of the two extremes were the more natural, gentle hugs of the humans in attendance.

Our guests finally parted so that we could walk through the crowd and make our way toward our table. Once seated, I took a moment to look around. Just like inside the house, Alice had gone above and beyond all my expectations. The trees surrounding the large backyard clearing had been strung with at least two thousand fairy lights, so that even now as the sun had set, the yard was still well lit. On the side of the yard which I now sat were twenty tables, covered in white tablecloths, each with a vase of cream roses in its center. A buffet table was set up near the house with dinner, and the table holding the cake was off to the other side of the "dining room".

The opposite side of the yard had been turned into a dance floor, complete with a ceiling of garlands like the ones inside the house, hung between the trees, making a pseudo-tent. Just as Alice had predicted, the day had been sunny, with two miraculously dry days before it, leaving the yard firm rather than muddy. Several large speakers had been set up around the makeshift dance floor to play the music later, but for the time being, the string quartet had moved outside with us and were playing soft background music until dinner was over.

I sat at our table while Carlisle went to the buffet and made me a plate. He was soon joined by the human guests and the pack, while the vampire guests sat at their tables making conversation amongst themselves. The dinner was amazing - a medium sized cut of steak with a side of green beans and broiled red skin potatoes. I ate quickly, not wanting to waste time that could be much better spent kissing my new husband.

When the majority of the guests had finished eating, Jasper rose from his seat at our table and stepped up to the microphone that was positioned between the dining room and dance floor, clicking a spoon on his champagne flute to gain the attention of the crowd.

"Excuse me, family and friends. My name is Jasper Hale, and I would like to first thank you all once again for coming to celebrate this joyous occasion with my family. In my capacity as my father's best man, I have been given the responsibility of making a toast to the newlyweds.

I'd like to begin by saying that this day has been a very long time in the making. I have watched as the attraction between Carlisle and Bella began and grew, each day they spent together bringing them closer until finally the spark between them could no longer be contained. Once they admitted their feelings, I watched as their love became a raging wildfire, simply uncontainable. The love and desire they felt for each other was palpable in our house. Seeing them come together this way, making promises to love each other for all eternity, it is the moment that my family has been waiting for. I've seen Bella as a sister for a long time, but I am thrilled that she is now in every way a Cullen. We could not be any happier for the two of them.

So Carlisle, Bella, as you begin your lives together, I wish that nothing but love and joy will surround you, that your love will continue to grow and flourish as it has these past months, and that, as time passes in your married life, you can look back on this day as the day that you loved each other the least.

Congratulations once again, you two. Cheers!"

Glasses were clinked together then, and the crowd chorused "cheers" after Jasper. I took a sip of my champagne, which was quite delicious, and smiled as Carlisle touched his to his lips but did not drink. As I set my glass back on the table, his lips met mine in a gentle kiss.

When Jasper reached his seat, I was surprised to see Sam Uley stand and make his way to the microphone.

"Hello everyone, my name is Sam Uley. I have been chief of the Quiluete tribe for seven years, but as of tomorrow, I am stepping down from that position. As my last act, then, I'd like to make a toast to the newlyweds.

There used to be a long standing conflict between my tribe and the Cullen family. It was Carlisle who showed us that there was a way to coexist. But it was Bella who taught us to do better than that. It was Bella who showed us that, even when we are different, even when we don't always understand each other, we can still find common ground. It was Bella who reminded us to judge someone as an individual rather than a category. It was Bella who taught us about friendship. And it was Bella who truly taught us all to love.

I stand here today, seeing two people more in love with each other than any of us ever believed was possible. Two people who have more than earned the happiness they have found together. Two people who have shown class, courage, and integrity as they walked down their path, and who I believe will continue to do so as long as they are on this earth. Two people who I hope will continue to set an example for all others.

So tonight, I wish you, Bella and Carlisle, a life full of joy, comfort, peace, and love. May your love continue to grow and fill your hearts for all time, and may all your dreams come true.

Here's to you, Bella and Carlisle, congratulations!"

As we tapped out glasses together, I could not hide my amazement at Sam's words. Who would have ever imagined the Quiluetes even attending, much less making such a speech at, a vampire wedding?

Alice rose then, and danced over to the microphone. "Okay folks, it's nearly time to dance. We have just one more piece of business to take care of first. Our lovely bride has a gift that she would like to present to Carlisle, so if you could all join us back in the living room, that would be much appreciated."

I swallowed nervously as I made my way toward the house, Carlisle's hand in mine. He had no idea what I had prepared for him, and I only hoped that he would like it. He looked at me with curiosity lighting his eyes, but I shook my head, wanting to surprise him.

The living room had been prepared for this by my brothers during dinner - the piano had been pushed back into the room and the chairs set up in a semicircle around it. Rosalie went over and sat at the instrument, looking at me with encouragement. Alice led Carlisle to a seat directly in the center, and they sat down together.

Jasper walked up and gave me a hug, pushing a wave of confidence directly into me. "You'll do great, sis," he whispered.

Once everyone was seated, I picked up the microphone and stood in front of the piano. "I sat one rainy day in New Hampshire, after Carlisle asked me to marry him, gazing out my bedroom window and thinking about the man that he is. Ever since the day I met him, I have been amazed by him and all that he is, all that he believes in and stands for. To me, Carlisle Cullen is nothing short of a miracle.

I felt inspired that afternoon, and began writing some poetry. I later showed this piece to my wonderful sister Rosalie, who agreed to compose music for it. That leads us to this moment, where I present it for the first time to my husband. I hope you'll love it honey, because every word is the absolute truth."

I took a deep breath and nodded to Rosalie, and we began.

_You are a beautiful contradiction  
Set apart for such a time as this  
While all around you give in to their addictions  
You strike the balance of time and risk_

__

[Chorus]  
Do you even know?  
Can you even see?  
Who you are exemplifies  
A miracle to me  
Caught up in your mystery  
Breathing hope, breathing hope into me

Your strength and your restraint  
echo in each choice you make  
taught by all that's light and all that's dark  
you've seen the best, you've seen the worst  
and even though it hurts  
You understand the part that you have to play

_[Chorus]  
__  
Hiding won't break your stride  
with safety in your eyes  
you carve out a different path  
Cancelling the expectations  
that you'll simply give in to nature  
you paralyze defeat_

__

Having seen both sides  
helps us both to be wiser  
facing all that lies ahead  
reaching out for the prize  
defined by Someone higher  
unafraid to use a different common sense

[Chorus]

_Carlisle, you are a beautiful contradiction  
Set apart for such a time as this _

As I sang, I focused my eyes on Carlisle, never looking away. I wanted him to feel my words as I sang them, to know that I meant each and every one, that they came directly from my soul. In return, he sat gazing at me, not even blinking, with so much adoration. I saw his eyes glistening with the tears that could not fall.

As I completed the final note, he leapt from his chair, reaching me in one stride, and threw his arms around me, one on my back pulling me close to him and the other on my neck, tilting my face towards his, bringing his lips down to meet my own.

The kiss was gentle at first, but he deepened it quickly, adding pressure to the hand on my back to force me even closer to him. Our bodies were touching at nearly every possible point as his tongue brushed against my bottom lip, begging entrance, which I quickly granted. We stood there, forgetting that we were in the middle of a room full of people, kissing passionately, until I felt his arousal press into me, causing me to moan softly and drop the microphone. Unfortunately, it was still on, and made an extremely loud noise as it hit the ground, shocking us out of our private moment.

Resting his forehead against mine, he looked down at me with so much love in his eyes.

"There has never been, nor will there ever be, a man who loves a woman as much as I love you in this moment. That song was beautiful, amazing, incredible.... There are just no words, sweetheart. That you should write something like that about me, that you see me in that way, _that_, my sweet wife, is the true miracle."

He cupped my cheek in his hand and kissed me again, softly this time, as the tears fell from my eyes.

Alice took charge again, directing everyone back to the yard so that dancing could begin. Taking the microphone from me, she announced that it was time for "The Cullens" to share their first dance as a married couple.

As Alice and I had discussed, the music for the evening would all be from Carlisle's favorite era of music, including such artists as Sinatra, Nat King Cole, Etta James, and so on. For our first dance, I had chosen Frank Sinatra's _You, My Love._ Carlisle took my hand in his as the music began to swell, and led me to the center of the dance floor. He placed his left hand on my lower back, and held mine in his right. He looked down at me and smiled as he recognized the song, and began leading me around the dance floor.

_My love is ever you, my love, now and forever, you my love.  
You walked into my lonely world, what peace of mind your smile unfurled.  
Yes and because of you, my love, my wishful dream came true, my love._

_In my uncertain heart, I'm only certain of how much I love you. My love._

As we moved around the yard together, he softly sang the words of the song to me, his warm smile never faltering. I couldn't imagine a moment more perfect or romantic than this. Just as the music reached it's high point, he spun me and dipped me backwards, leaning over me and kissing me deeply as he held me in that position. Our guests applauded his moves, and he drew us back up to a standing position, both of us laughing at his antics, and continued to move us around the yard.

When the song ended, we were joined by many of our guests on the dance floor. We danced to several more songs, our picture being snapped by various cameras along the way, before Charlie came and asked to cut in. Carlisle gracefully passed me off to my father before walking away to find one of my sisters to dance with.

The look of pride and contentment, mixed with a tinge of sadness on Charlie's face as we swayed to the music was one I'd only ever seen one other time - at my Dartmouth graduation.

"That was a beautiful wedding, kiddo. Your song was a jaw-dropper too. Who knew you could sing like that?"

"Thanks Dad."

"I sure am happy for you Bells. There's so much love here, that's obvious. What Sam said was right- you are incredible. You love deeper than anyone I've ever seen. I know you are going to have a wonderful life, and I just couldn't be prouder of you. I love you so much, and married or not, you'll always be my little Bells."

I hugged Charlie tightly. "I love you too, Dad. I'm so glad that you have Sue now and you're happy too. I won't have to worry about you so much now."

The song ended, and I was passed around a bit, dancing with both of my brothers as well as Eleazar and Seth Clearwater before finding my way back to my husband.

"Did you enjoy your dancing, Mrs. Cullen? I see you are quite the popular partner tonight," he teased.

"I had a nice time, Dr. Cullen, but not nearly as nice as I'm having back in your arms."

We danced to several more songs, our lips rarely parting. Every once in a while I would open my eyes and take notice of some of the guests who danced around us - Emmett and Rosalie, Alice and Jasper, Sam and Emily, Carmen and Eleazar, Jared and Kim, Kate and Garrett? Ooooohhh...I wondered about that one - I didn't catch either of them dancing with anyone but each other all night, and was sure to wink at Kate the next time I caught her eye. She grinned in response.

Eventually, I heard Alice's voice calling to me, and reluctantly pulled my lips away from Carlisle's.

"Come on, Bella, we have to get you ready to leave!"

"But Alice, I'm enjoying myself," I whined, turning back to Carlisle.

The little pixie marched over to me and pulled my head down to whisper in my ear. "I am pretty sure there is quite an enjoyable time to be had at your hotel tonight, dear sister, so if I were you, I'd listen to me and come inside to get dressed!"

I opened my eyes wide as I listened, catching on quickly to her implications. I kissed Carlisle one last time before taking her hand and running into the house.

In the bedroom, she and Rosalie helped me out of my dress and into a less formal ivory wrap dress. They pulled all of the pins and the combs out of my hair, saving me the trouble later, and let it cascade wildly down my back. With a quick touch up of my makeup, I was pronounced ready to go.

"Okay, sis, everything you need for tonight is in your overnight bag in the trunk of the Mercedes. Your luggage will be waiting for you at your destination, so no need to worry about that. Jasper and Emmett will pick up the Mercedes and drive it back to New Hampshire when we leave here in a few days. You have a wonderful honeymoon, make sure to call us once in a while, alright?"

Alice and Rosalie pulled me into a tight hug and they each kissed one of my cheeks.

"I love you both. Thank you so much for today, and for everything you've done to get me here."

After one last hug, they led me back downstairs. I was able to locate both my parents to say goodbye to them before Carlisle pulled me into the house.

"Come, my love, it's time for us to begin our honeymoon," he whispered suggestively into my ear before running his tongue over the rim.

I shivered in response to both his words and his actions. "I can't wait," I answered.

Holding hands, we opened the front door and ran, laughing, towards the driveway through a passageway of falling rose petals thrown by our friends and family. Carlisle opened the passenger door for me and helped me settle into the car before going around to get in on his side. He leaned over to give me one more kiss as he started the car, then sat up in his seat.

"Ready to start our lives, Mrs. Cullen?" He asked as he drove down the winding driveway.

He turned onto the main road, speeding toward our future. "Absolutely, Dr. Cullen, absolutely."

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed the reception. Next up is the wedding night!**

**Bella's song is Breathing Hope by Natalie Nicole Gilbert - the link is on my profile, go listen, it's beautiful. **


	44. 41 Our First Time

**A/N: I, though it may come as quite a shock to you, do not own Twilight.**

**The wedding is over, which brings us to the long-anticipated wedding night. I can only hope that I live up to your expectations. Please read and let me know what you think.**

**And just so you know how much I love you, I am in JFK airport right now, half dead after a 14 hour flight, stalking the wifi. I am SO tired right now.**

**PS, thanks to Tesondrae, I used Pushin inside you as my inspiration music for this one. Great suggestion!**

Chapter 41: Our First Time

CPOV

I couldn't stop my mind from replaying this day over and over in my head as I drove my wife - _oh, how I love calling her that! _- and I to the hotel in Seattle. I could see the first glimpse of her in that beautiful ivory lace gown and the smile on her face as she took my hands under the arbor, heard the words she spoke to me with such love as she recited her vows, saw the tears she cried as I said mine to her, our first kiss as husband and wife, the glorious smile on her face as we were announced as Dr and Mrs Cullen... I couldn't think of a better day than today in my three hundred and sixty-six years.

And now, we were only eight miles from the hotel. Eight miles from the place where we would make love for the very first time. I squeezed her hand in mine a bit tighter, excitement building in me as I thought of it - finally, tonight, we would share all of ourselves with each other.

Twenty-two minutes later, we arrived in our suite. Bella asked for a moment to freshen up, so as I sat waiting for her on the bed. I was still wearing my tuxedo pants and shirt, but the shirt was now unbuttoned. I took notice of the room we were in. It was quite nice, but one peek into the bag that Alice had packed for us showed me how it could be improved. I set up several candles around the room and turned off the overhead lights, making the room a more romantic setting.

Sitting back down on the bed, I listened with a grin to my wife's heartbeat, much faster than it's usual pace, and imagined that she must be feeling as excited for what was coming as I was, though perhaps a bit nervous as well. Unable to stand any further delay, I walked to the door of the dressing area and knocked lightly.

"Mrs. Cullen? Sweetheart? Are you alright?" _Come out, come out..._

"Ummm.... yes. I'll be out in a minute," she replied, her voice wavering.

"Don't be nervous, my love. I won't hurt you, I promise." _I will, however, ravish you thoroughly._

"That's not what I worried about."

"Bella, what's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing, I'm just... Nothing. I'll be right out, I promise."

I smiled as I listened to her deep breathing as it gradually slowed her heart. I walked quietly back to the bed, not wanting to pressure her.

Finally, I heard the door open, and glanced up toward it to catch the site of an absolute vision. _WOW. _An angel was walking toward me, in beautiful white lingerie that was semi-sheer on the bottom and lace across her perfect breasts. She was still wearing her heels from the wedding as well. Her mahogany hair, such a gorgeous contrast with the paleness of her skin and her outfit, was cascading in wild curls over her shoulders and down her back. Her face was slightly tinged with pink from her blush, adding to her beauty.

As she got nearer to me, I realized that I hadn't breathed since she entered the room, and I took a deep breath, taking in the beautiful freesia and strawberry scent as I did.

"You are the most beautiful woman in the world, Mrs Cullen," I said softly, earning a smile from my angel.

"You're not so bad yourself, husband," she replied as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders.

I kissed her gently, my arms wrapping around her back to pull her close to me.

"I have never been this happy in my entire existence, Bella, not in well over three hundred years. I love you so much," I whispered between kisses.

Scooping her up in my arms, I carried her over to the bed, laying her down in the center. I brought myself down over her, keeping most of my weight on my arms, and slowly brought my lips down to hers. Our kisses started out soft and gentle, and I leaned my weight over to one arm so that I could use the other to brush over her face. As we deepened the kiss, I felt her hands come up my back under my shirt, slowly gliding over the muscles there, creating the most amazing tingling sensation. I sighed lightly into the kiss, which she took as an invitation to enter my mouth with her tongue. I purred when I tasted her on my tongue as they met in a slow, sensual dance. I used my free hand to trace the curves of her body from her shoulder down to her thigh and back, keeping my touch light, making her shiver with desire.

She pushed on me so that I would sit up, and I complied. Her hands had now reached my shoulders, and she brought them forward just enough to grasp my shirt, pushing it down my arms. I flicked my wrists to shake the shirt off at the ends, and she pushed on me again, nudging me towards the bed, and then she laid over me. She brought her mouth to my neck, licking and nipping at my flesh as she made lines up and down from my collarbone to just below my ear. I hissed lightly as she finally captured the lower, fleshy portion of my ear between her lips, the pleasure of it undeniable, and pressed my hips up against her heat, drawing a low, throaty moan from her. Then she licked her way down, under my jaw, across my Adam's apple, up to the other ear.

"Mmmmmm...Mrs Cullen..." I moaned.

"Say it again Carlisle," she whispered, her mouth directly over my ear.

"Mrs Cullen," I whispered back.

"God...I love the sound of that," she replied, her voice low and husky.

She lowered herself a bit, her body sliding down mine, creating an unbelievable friction against my cock, until her mouth was level with my chest. She circled my nipple with her tongue several times before sucking it into her mouth, biting it lightly, making me growl. _I love it when she does that..._ I heard her giggle softly as she moved to the opposite nipple, giving it a similar treatment.

As she continued her ministrations, I drew my hands down her body from her shoulders to her sweet little ass, grabbing it and squeezing with both hands. _Gah, she's wearing a thong...so sexy. _Not able to be patient with her teasing anymore, and wanting more than anything to return the favor, I flipped us over at vampire speed, so that once again she was laying on the bed and I was hovering over her. I dragged my tongue all over her neck and bare shoulders, licking my way from one collarbone to the other, pulling moans and sighs from her one by one. I moved down further, licking over the swell of her breasts, leaving a light trail of venom as I went.

Finally I reached the edge of the lace top on her lingerie. I brought my mouth to the exact center of it, thrusting my tongue quickly down into her cleavage once, making her gasp, before taking the delicate lace gently between my teeth and pulling it down, but not off, just freeing her breasts. She kept her hands busy as I worked by dragging her fingers up and down the flesh of my back from my shoulders to the top of my pants, sometimes dipping her hands just under the waistband before traveling back up.

With her breasts accessible to me, I wasted no time bringing my mouth over one of them, pulling the entire areola into my mouth and suckling it.

"Ooooooohhhh....Carlisle...." she moaned.

I let some of her flesh slide out through my lips until I only held her nipple. I held it carefully between my teeth and flicked it over and over with my tongue, and she mewled in response. As I teased this side, I brought my hand to the other breast, massaging it before toying with the nipple, rolling it between my index finger and my thumb, and then lightly tugging on it.

"Mmmmmm....Carlisle....so good..."

Her nipples both hard beneath me, I switched sides, giving her the same treatment as before, pulling more moans from her. _I love it when she makes those sounds...the way my name sounds when it falls out of her mouth..._

As I continued to suckle her, I felt her hands move down my back once more, not stopping until they had slipped under the waistband of my pants. She then moved them in opposite directions around my waist until they met once again at my button and began to work it open. Once she had accomplished her goal, she began tugging my pants and boxer briefs down. I lifted my mouth off of her so that she could finish, and then kicked the pants off my feet when she had pulled them as far down as she could reach.

Grabbing ahold of my shoulders, she pulled herself back up, bringing her mouth to mine in a passionate kiss. I slipped my hand behind her head to help support it as my tongue danced with hers. My arousal was pressed against her thigh, and the warmth of her skin was making me throb with need.

I broke away from her mouth and began pressing open-mouthed kisses, licks and nibbles down her jaw, neck, and chest, then made a figure eight with my tongue around the swells of her breasts before continuing my downward journey, finally arriving at my destination. I kissed her left hipbone before licking my way across her, just above the top of her tiny white thong, to the other hipbone. Then I took my two index fingers and hooked them under the sides of her panties, dragging them down her legs slowly. I tossed them onto the floor once they were removed, and then removed the shoe from her right foot. I began kissing my way up her leg as I grazed the other leg with my palm. I got all the way to her inner thigh when I heard her.

"Oh god.... oooooohhhhh...Carlisle....mmmmmmm...."

I inhaled deeply, savoring the scent of her arousal, before sitting up and going back down to her opposite foot, once again removing her shoe before kissing my way up her leg. This time, though, when I neared the top, I had no intention of stopping. She was writhing on the bed, fisting her hands in the sheets, the teasing surely enhancing her need to the point that she was losing control, and I loved it.

Reaching the apex of her thighs, I fought the urge to simply dive in - I wanted this to be slow and loving, not hurried and lustful. I pushed myself forward on the bed just slightly, to bring her sex nearer to my face, and groaned at the friction the mattress created on my cock as I did.

With one more deep inhalation, I lowered my face to her folds, slipping my tongue into her slit and tasting the sweetness of her arousal that had collected there already. _Aaaahhhhh....heaven!_

"Uuuuugggghhhh!... Oh....Carlisle...god..." she breathed.

I licked my way up her slit until I reached the little bundle of nerves at the top, circling and flicking it three times with my tongue before sucking it into my mouth. Her hands flew down into my hair, clutching it tightly, and I knew that she was getting close to her climax already. That was fine with me - I wanted to make her cum this way before I made love to her. I knew it would hurt a bit when I entered her, so I wanted to make this as pleasurable as possible for my lovely wife.

"Yes!...Carlisle, please!....Oh, please!......aaaaahhhhhh.....honey, yeah...."

Using two fingers, I entered her warmth while my tongue continued its assault on her clit. She was so close, her moans and cries incoherent, her tugs on my hair more insistent. I curled my fingers inside her, reaching for that spongy spot that I knew would push her over the edge, at the same time sucking her clit into my mouth once more. I was rewarded with the feeling of her walls tightening around me and her voice screaming out my name. I continued to stroke her as she rode out her orgasm, not withdrawing until her muscles had all relaxed and she lay back on the mattress breathing heavily.

I licked my fingers clean, savoring her sweet taste, and then climbed back up the bed towards her, laying down beside her and wrapping my arms around her when we were level. Her eyes were still closed, her face flushed. Bella after an orgasm was truly a sight to see - she was glorious. She turned her face toward me without opening her eyes, and pressed her mouth to mine, her tongue brushing my lip. I opened to her and she slid her tongue inside, lazily exploring my mouth. _Oh hell! _I knew she could taste herself on me, and the thought caused my cock to swell even further and a low growl to escape my throat.

"Carlisle, I want you to make love to me now," she whispered as she pulled back from the kiss.

_Really, how could I say no to that?_

"Oh my love, I intend to," I breathed, positioning myself over her once again. I rubbed the head of my aching length against her folds, nearly coming right there at the feel of her heat on my cock. "Sweetheart, this will hurt a bit, I'm sorry. I wish there was a way to prevent it."

"It's okay, honey. I'll be fine."

"Just tell me if you need to stop, alright?"

"Okay, honey. Go ahead. I need to feel you inside me."

_Oh god, I need that too!_

As slowly and gently as possible, I entered her.

_Oh my god oh my god oh my god!_

The sensation was overwhelming from the moment it began. My eyes rolled back in my head and I held my breath, willing myself to calm down. I moved so carefully that I felt each millimeter of my flesh as it passed into her, surrounded by the heat of her sex, until I reached her barrier. I held my position there for a moment, and then gave a quick, hard thrust forward to break through. I caught the scent of a bit of fresh blood, but it didn't bother me. Bella gasped, and I felt her tighten around me as she clenched her muscles from the pain. I waited, not moving, for her to relax.

After only a moment, she nodded to me, her tiny hands grabbing onto my arms and holding them tightly. I pushed forward once more and was finally fully seated within her. I groaned loudly, unable to contain it.

_Best. Feeling. Ever._

"Oh god, Bella! This feels amazing!"

"For me too, honey...me too....you feel so good."

Knowing she was comfortable, I pulled myself back so that only the head of my cock was still inside her before thrusting forward again. I quickly established a slow, steady rhythm to my thrusts, nearly pulling out each time just to enjoy the feeling of entering her all over again. I leaned my body down over her, bringing my mouth to hers, kissing her deeply as I continued to move inside of her.

_There has never been any feeling this good! Ever. In the world._

The feeling of being in her was unbelievable. I could feel each ridge, each flex of her muscles against my cock, and she was wrapped so tightly around me, squeezing my length without even trying. Her breaths were coming heavily, as were mine, and her moans were deep and throaty. I nuzzled her neck and brought my tongue up to her ear, licking around the rim the way that I knew she loved.

"Oh Carlisle, more....nothing has.....ever....felt....so right..." _I know baby, I know._

I increased my pace a bit, still carefully controlling the strength of each thrust so as not to hurt her, but the control didn't deter from the pleasure. Not in the slightest bit. Her fingers came up to my shoulder blades, grasping them tightly as she dug her nails into the marble-like flesh.

"I love you, Isabella Cullen....I love you," I whispered over and over into her ear as I continued thrusting within her.

I was in love with the feeling, and I wanted even more. I brought my hands to her back and lifted her up toward me until our chests were touching and she was straddling my lap. Not taking my length out of her, I scooted back on the bed until my back was pressed against the headboard. Once I was comfortable, I began to use my arms to lift her up and bring her back down on my length, pulling her down all the way each time so that I was fully encased in her heat. I was able to reach even deeper into her than before. Her head was thrown back in her pleasure, her back arching, bringing her breasts closer to my face.

"Oh baby, it feels....so good....love it.....love you...aaaaahhhhhhh...."

"God I love you Carlisle....mmmmmmm......uuuuuugggghhhhh...."

_Oh god, look at her breasts! This is heaven!_

I continued to move her, but added my own thrusts back in, raising my hips up off the bed to meet her each time I brought her back down. The combined force of our movements making us both moan even more. I was so close already, but I wanted us to cum together. I leaned forward and brought my mouth down on her breast, sucking on it.

"Oooooohhhhh... Carlisle....honey....so close...have to....can't....wait...."

"Me too baby.....I want you to cum with me....please.....uuuugggghhhh...."

I sat up a bit more, wanting to make the last thrusts count. I pushed into her with slightly more force, bringing my mouth down on her collarbone and sucking her sweaty flesh into my mouth. Her walls clenching around me as her climax hit her pulled me right over the edge with her. We cried each other's names out into the silence as we reached our peaks, my venom spilling into her as her inner walls milked my cock for all it was worth. Her head collapsed down onto my shoulder, and I leaned my head down over hers, both of us panting.

We stayed that way for several minutes, with me still inside of her, not wanting to break the connection. We whispered our love to each other over and over. Finally, I slid out of her and moved us back down the bed so that we were laying down side by side, my arms still embracing her, her head resting on my chest. She lifted her face to me.

"I've never felt anything like that before. I've never felt so incredible."

"Nor have I, my love. Honestly, that was a completely unique experience, I can promise you."

"This has been the best day of my entire life. I love you, Carlisle Cullen. I will love you forever."

"For me as well, my love, and I have had a much longer time on this earth than you too. But still, no day can compare to the joy I have felt on this. I will love you for all eternity, Isabella Cullen."

She turned her face again so that her cheek rested on my chest, and closed her eyes. Moments later, she was asleep. I held her there in my arms, my head resting on the pillows, as I played the whole day over again in my mind like a movie, knowing that my words had been true - no day had ever be better than this, not in as long as I had existed. But my wife was right too, in her inscription on my wedding gift - our time _had_, in fact, just begun.

**A/N: Ok, I hope that met your expectations. I am going to go take a nap and try to dream this chapter with myself in Bella's place. =)**

**So that's it for this story. Carlisle and Bella have led each other out of the darkness, and now it's time for them to begin their lives together. Please check out the sequel. It's called Basking in the Light of our Love. It will pick up exactly where this leaves off, and will be posted tomorrow. **


	45. author's note: sequel

**A/N: Just a quick note to remind you all that the sequel has been posted. It is called Basking in the Light of our Love. Three chapters up so far, very very lemony! Hope you'll check it out.**


	46. Important Author's Note PLEASE READ!

**A/N: Just a quick note for all of you who enjoyed this story:**

**Thanks again for all your reviews, and for sharing this story with your friends. It was truly thrilling to me to get such a great response for my first fiction attempt. **

**If you haven't yet heard, some Twilight fans sponsored a new award, called The Indie Twific Awards. This award is meant to recognize fanfics that are under-appreciated. To qualify, a completed story must have under 1000 reviews, and a work in progress less that 30 reviews per chapter. Here is is list of the categories:**

**canon**

**alternate universe**

**alternate universe human**

**crackfic**

**other (real person fics, all original characters)**

**best collaberation**

**best undiscovered erotica**

**best use of music as inspiration**

**best characterizations (non Edward/Bella)**

**best use of comedy**

**most original storyline**

**most romantic moment**

**best original character**

**best secondary storyline**

**best non E x B story**

**These awards are a great way to show love to an author that is not yet well-known, and to help these new authors find more of a following. So PLEASE, show someone some love and go to theindietwificawards . com. Nominations are being taken until June 23. **


End file.
